20 Jan Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/20/2017 – Jeff Monson
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Jeff Monson
Recorded 01-17-2017 – Release Date 01-20-2017
Production Number #1989
Adam opens the show to a decent intro and BB has Sonny’s “Cool” as the #TopDrop as Adam welcomes him and Gina to another episode.
Adam is immediately going on a jag about Jeff Monson and his MMA career, he brings up how he fought Fedor Emelianenko and received a call from Putin after the bout.
Adam is now marveling at what his must be like to be famous for fighting in Russia where the culture rewards you with immediate respect and even the equivalent of the President is calling you on the phone.
Adam and BB both agree this country is moving in that direction, hilarious sarcasm.
BB brings up Ivan Drago, riffing on Adam’s earlier “Mike Tyson giving advice to the president” comment.
Adam is telling the gang about “Pie Face” and other messy children’s gifts like home tie-dye kits.
Adam is saying the tie-dye kits are 14.99 and look like a much larger and more impressive gift.
“and a wife who would get near this box” – Adam on the talent he has at home and the stress of children’s gifts like this.
Adam wants an approved list of gifts for people to buy, you need a thumbprint of a parent to buy such a gift for their kid.
BB tells them about a homemade ornament kit that never got made and Adam brings up the white board around his house that never get mounted.
Adam says he’s secretly jealous of “sock guy” the guy who gets enormous amounts of pleasure out of his socks, Gina calls out BB and he shares he does it as he spends no time on his hair.
Gary asks Adam if he’s aware they were doing a sock poll about BB’s sock on Adam’s Instagram, he had no idea.
Adam says socks can’t bring him joy as they don’t get witnessed by anyone, Adam would like someone to leave socks out for him and BB says he has heart shaped boxer shorts, what heart shape patterns right?
Gina has a point about buying gifts for women and how easy it is to buy a lotion or some makeup, Adam has a point about buying the wrong stuff and mentions ‘Keels’ much to the delight of Gina.
BB talks about his packing for Texas and how he feels an audience member catching a glimpse of his festive socks adds to their experience, say what?
Tommy John – Heavily focused on socks edition
Adam wonders if BB is satiating himself and missing out on a bigger accomplishment, the feeling he’s tapping into could be preventing him from achieving more, a 2nd book perhaps?
Adam says at a certain point you stop living and your kids become your focus, Adam is sharing some anecdotal information and he brings up the woman who has the bunny rabbit museum in her home and he contrasts her to Mark Cuban, does he have less of that kind of junk.
Adam isn’t sure, he could have all kinds of bizarre interests and BB brings up Drew Carey’s purported vault of lost media.
Gina asks Adam if he feels like he’s missing something from not enjoying Tchotchkes and getting dumb junk to move the needle, Gian brings up Sonny and Adam is now sharing the crockpot story.
Adam has a great line about Olga filling the holes in the sinking Carolla ship now that the kids need her attention less and less.
Adam is sharing the story of getting Olga to prepare Vinnie and Serena’s bone broth soup recipe while he worked on spelling words with his son, Adam wants to know why we need to even know how to spell in the modern era.
Adam jokes about spelling Gurls, with a u and the gang join in and then he makes a janitor joke aimed at future Sonny and his lack of options career wise.
Adam brings up The Beatles singing in German to make a point about memorization vs. actual learning, he’s now explaining how Olga couldn’t get the slow cooker to turn on.
They didn’t have the instructions and he instead looked at the unit and realized there was a spring-loaded button that required they put the pot into the frame before it would turn on.
Adam is making a larger point about learning how to think, not memorizing minutia you don’t care about.
What Can’t Adam Complain About?
Geico – Save some Do Re Mi 2017 Edition
1st WCACA Bill, he suggest motion detection sinks and automatic paper towel dispensers.
Adam says they’ve not fully worked these things out yet and they’re wildly ineffective, we are the Guinea Pigs.
Adam says the faucet doesn’t give you enough time, they had to know it was not enough time and then you need to walk up on it again and get it to reactivate.
Adam says the 3-5 Mississippi booting process is deceiving and he cites Amazon Prime on his home entertainment center not loading instantly, confusing him.
Adam is now suggesting we put the whole motion detection bathroom services on hold for a decade and has a killer riff about looking like he’s trying to massage the balls of the paper towel dispenser, or like a prostitute trying to help a John get his dick hard after too much coke while the other dude manually gets the faucet to turn on, judging you for being stupid.
2nd WCACA Harrison, he says Adam can’t complain about Jimmy Kimmel.
Adam says he can, he’s too committed to BBQ and explains he heard tale that Jimmy wasn’t going to be throwing his annual Super Bowl party.
Adam sent him an email to let him know he might throw a party instead where he invited Jimmy to show up as a civilian, he got a reply back asking if he has a BBQ grill, he’s that committed to the Q, man!
Adam is making a point about Jimmy’s level of commitment and he says Jimmy knows Adam is an idiot and probably thinks he can’t read too.
3rd WCACA Joe, he’s got a great ‘Delta Fu’ reference and calls Gina “Fake Alison” which BB is the only one to react to audibly.
Joe says Adam can’t complain about a festool domino joiner and he says “biscuit joiners are for pussies” before Adam tries to explain what plate and biscuit joiners are to the gang.
Adam is telling them about “face frames” on cabinetry and explains how they would “dowel” the frames, it was tough at the time before someone figured out that you could do the face frames with a “wafer” and he explains how much superior it was.
Adam says the domino joiner is overkill and he asks Joe who needs this, he tells him to kill himself and wraps up the call.
Adam teases the arrival of Jeff Monson and they head to break.
They’re back from break with Jeff making his ACS debut, Adam immediately gets to his impressive MMA fighting record and win ratio.
Adam asks him about origins in MMA, Adam tells Dawson to turn his mic off as he is talking on air and jokes about him calling Jeff a pussy.
Jeff is telling them about his first MMA fight and how the underground scene worked, Adam is talking about the bare knuckle fights that still go on to this day.
Adam is asking about Jon Jones and Daniel Cormier, Jeff talks about meeting Jon and has some kind words.
Adam is asking about the people who don’t tap out, they just go unconscious, he doesn’t know if they’re more likely to go unconscious or if they have an iron will and Jeff mentions Kirkland, Washington?
Adam talks about Roddy Piper choking out Cousin Sal, Adam mentions Forrest Griffin and his “farm strong” and dude aesthetic.
Adam talks about Chuck Liddell and his insane punching strength, without mentioning it took Chuck 3 tries to match Adam’s score on the punching machine they had at the old radio studio in 2006.
Adam is asking Jeff about his fight against Fedor and Adam explains his elusive nature and they harp on his 12 years of winning without a loss.
Gina says Fedor looks like a really mean David Cross, Jeff tells them about the fight and how Fedor pummeled him and how the call with Putin went.
Adam asks Jeff about ‘Chumbawamba’ and cites their Classic Loveline appearance and he asks Jeff about the fundamentals of anarchism and being into anarchy.
Jeff says MLK would be the best example of anarchy in action, something like his protests.
Adam asks Jeff about communism and Gina calls The United States “Russia West” and Jeff is now talking about Hillary’s tough talk leading up to the election and her comments aimed at Putin.
Adam is now making a point about guys like Putin and the old boys club having chauvinism about female world leaders, they all agree it’s got to be a factor.
Adam is now asking him about his citizenship and Adam riffs about Greg Louganis, hilarious “gave the whole Canadian team AIDS, google it!” line.
Adam says Jeff has been kicked in the head too many times to learn Russia at this stage of life, he says he’s tried to speak French while France and they immediately reply to him in English.
Adam asks Jeff about fighting in the UFC and he comments on his blindness in his left eye and heart murmur that keep him from being able to get cleared to fight.
Adam asks him if he wants to fight any longer, he says he can fight in Russia, he says this will be his last year for sure of fighting.
Adam asks him how long he stays in Russia, is it dependent on his beating that he takes or does he leave right away regardless.
Funny riffing from Ace and he heads to the news.
1st Story Is on the 3 Oregon Ducks that have been hospitalized after some intense workouts, Gina has the details of the muscle damage and other symptoms the players are suffering.
Adam talks about giant zucchini and how at a certain point it’s no longer edible nor good, it becomes something else.
Adam is talking about the watermelons worn on player’s heads and Gina’s reaction as they talk about the giant 6’8” players who are over 300lbs.
BB talks about the size requirements for the game and Jeff says people shouldn’t be having these kinds of issues any longer when it comes to college sports.
BB is making a point about “culture change” and how they hire a polar opposite coach each time they fire one, Adam is now riffing about luxuriating while practicing for college ball.
Adam says people aren’t aware of how grueling football is and how they’re in the business of kicking the crap out of everybody and Jeff talks about being banned from drinking water during two-a-day practices and Gina reacts to the idiocy of dehydrating players.
2nd Story is on ‘Deadpool’ and the Oscar campaign video that’s been online, Adam says he saw half of it on the plane and needs to see the rest of it.
Adam mentions his TIVO brought up the episode of ‘Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place’ came up and he breaks down the plot.
Adam is reacting to the image of him on ‘Comic’s Unleashed’ with Kevin Hart, he jokes about jumping in his trunk and riding his coattails, Adam says his son wasn’t impressed with him in the same show as Ryan Reynolds aka ‘Deadpool’ himself.
3rd Story is on Margot Robbie playing Tonya Harding in a new biopic and Adam jokes about them hiring Brad Pitt… in a fat suit to play him in a ‘Man Show’ biopic.
Adam is joking about taking Margot out to hit on average dudes at a ‘Claim Jumper’ and get a montage of them blowing her off only to then reveal it was Margot and they gave up guaranteed sex.
Adam jokes about being the Chris Hanson and offering a handgun for them to kill themselves.
Gina brings up an ‘Oprah’ episode where Gwyneth Paltrow wore a fat suit and Adam recalls the dateline and local news segments with women in heavy makeup in the real world posing as broken down motorists.
4th Story is on a study showing that children of obese parents might suffer from brain development delays, Adam is asking about the logic and he’s got a great “sticky bun in the oven” joke.
Adam is now saying he just got into this with his daughter, he says she was in bed and Phil was also in bed and she couldn’t move past him.
She dispatched Adam to get some water and told him not to get her the tap water, Adam then said there is one millionaire genius walking around the house who drank from the hose, so why the bottled water?
Adam impersonates Natalia snapping at him telling him to get the water from the bottle.
Adam has a point about fat shaming and Gina has a good point in reply, Jeff comments on drinking from the hose memories from his own youth and they move on.
SimpliSafe – You don’t love it you’ll get a full refund edition
5th Story is on a new study about men with beautiful partners being viewed as more attractive to other women, female mate choice copying.
Jeff gives his take and Adam is now suing expensive purses to make a point about men and women, he cites Norm Pattiz’s wife who is obsessed with these exotic impossibly expensive purses.
Adam says you can show him a baseline Toyota Tercel and a 500k Lamborghini, he can see the difference immediately.
“I guess she gives a mean blowjob” – Adam on men reacting to lesser attractive women with men, BB confirms Adam’s thinking and he explains how men and women see potential partners.
BB has a certified preowned car and Adam jokes about guys “checking the box, box” and they go into a live read.
Bet DSI – BB updates the gang on all of the winners who beat him edition
6th Story is on a study that shows drinking makes bad memories more vivid and intense, Adam jokes about rewriting his memory and forgetting about sodomy.
She has the details on the study and Adam jokes about cancelling them out instead of rewriting them, Adam says drinking is bad for you but for everything that is bad for you there are multiple fun elements.
Adam says his approach to booze is that he enjoys it and he wants to get drunk on the weekend while watching football.
Adam feels the same way about cheesecake, he wants to keep it in his life so he doesn’t eat it for breakfast.
Adam is now talking about going to retrieve his son’s basketball from the pool during his AM cold water swim, Adam got angry about his dad’s inability to get him a basketball hoop.
Adam then had to drop down and get Phil’s dog toy as he was investigating what this mad man is doing in the pool when it’s this cold.
Adam says a dog and a basketball hoop would have brought countless more joy to his childhood, he could have easily had a dog and a hoop.
Gina wraps the news.
True Car – Dr. Drew has arrived, he knows about True Car edition
Adam wraps the show and gives out the plugs, solid ep!
Jeff plugs his political talk show on RT.