19 Jan Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/19/2015 – Penn Jillette, Live from The Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Penn Jillette, Live from The Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas
Recorded 01-17-2015 – Release Date 01-19-2015
Production Number #1492
Adam opens the show to a solid intro from Dawson and Lynch about Adam’s silent partner, BB plays the “I waited for you man!” drop from Dawson as tonight’s #TopDrop and explains how it was requested by a fan.
Adam asks Penn about his weight loss and gets into a riff about weighing Gina’s boobs using water displacement.
Penn says he’s doing something so insane he doesn’t want to spill about it until he’s sure it’s effective (safe?) and Adam is asking him about his new car the Nissan Leaf, based on Adam’s recommendation.
Penn jokes about the car moving silently and Adam is now saying you can drink in golf carts and if you want to incentivize people into going electric you should allow them to drink.
Penn says he’s oblivious and doesn’t notice the aggression his atheist license plate elicits from other motorists.
Penn says that fuck you is freedom of speech, Adam explains that a recorded showed up at his house and his daughter has been tasked with playing ‘Mary had a Little Lamb’ for her music program.
Adam says he wants to fall on the sharpened recorder in place of having to hear her struggle with the tune any further, Penn brings up his daughter’s violin and Adam jokes about his daughter swinging her recorder at him as covering him in spit.
Adam is joking about the recorder being a horrible device that shoots fluid, Adam shares how they had to let her recorder bleed out overnight.
Penn tried to convince Adam of the value of little girl spit (gross).
Penn tells them about his son and his piano skills, Penn brings up the poor listener whose kid is playing the bagpipes, Adam explains Penn is only with them for the first 45min.
Adam asks why Vegas has a Ferris wheel, what place on earth needs one less than Vegas.
Adam is bringing up his kids smoke detector battery warning going off, he’s going beat by beat over the replacement procedure and asks for a safety device that so badly wants you to change your batteries why do they make it so difficult to do.
Penn is sharing his plans for his 60th birthday, including revealing his weight loss secret if he does lose his goal of 100lbs.
Penn is now sharing his mother’s deathbed comments about his long hair.
Adam asks Penn about his painted finger nail in memory of his mother, he explains the origin of the finger nail polish to mock her, which then became an actual tribute that his daughter has now appropriated for herself.
Adam is joking about Penn’s mom and riffing as her telling him to take a trip to ‘Fantastic Sam’s’ and asks him about ‘Wizard Wars’ and jokes about loving bullshit but not hearing of the show, funny “finally a show for jocks” closing riff.
Penn is now explaining the premise of his reality elimination competition show, Adam is asking them about their gags (swindles) and how their bosses at the casino aren’t interested in their current act or how they update it, giving them extreme freedom to evolve.
Penn shares his idea for dressing a cow as an elephant and using it for one of their swindles, Adam brings up the potential hypocrisy of someone caring about the treatment of a cow in a stage act while eating a steak.
Penn explains that it took them the better part of a decade to add those new 3 minutes to their act, he is now telling them about swindle involving Penn and a card trick with Teller stuck in a water tank.
Penn is telling them about performing the bit on SNL and how he caught Teller struggling as the gimmick was no longer working and Teller was actually drowning.
Adam jokes about Penn being a genius, he’s a giant who partnered up with a midget and the only guy who is small enough to crawl into things is the shorter guy.
Penn defends Teller’s height and Adam shares his Andy Richter theory, about Andy being taller in person than you presume due to his proximity to Conan O’Brien on television.
Penn wraps up the anecdote and it’s solid.
Q and Ace
1st Question from Amelia, she reveals her parents are both pilots and Adam jokes about the Burbank airport and statue of Amelia Earhart.
Penn’s reaction are gold, Adam is now riffing about a diorama of people jumping from the twin towers as the only worse symbol for displaying in an airport.
Adam jokes about bronze and shit looking like the same thing, hilarious riff.
They quiz her on her pilot parents, she wants to know if there is an Adam Carolla sex tape and he jokes about his morning thought about crossing over into the realm where he no longer wants to see himself naked.
Adam is now asking if you do or don’t want to prevent your kids from making sex tapes, maybe they would want to see themselves years later and remind themselves of their prime.
Penn now shares an anecdote and reacts strongly to a quote commenting on a Thomas Jefferson quote, Xaviera Hollander and Bo Diddley feature in the story and he says that Adam is right and shares his own take.
Adam says he doesn’t have any sextapes, Penn tells him he could still make one now and threatens him of how much worse he’ll be in 10 more years’ time.
2nd Question from Travis, he compliments everyone but Ace and brings up having to pick up his car from the valet, he brings up the small talk and expected tipping encounter part.
Adam is now asking if they have any strippers in the audience, he tells them to rally and get rid of the bathroom attendant in the men’s room.
Adam jokes about it being unthinkable to give a dollar to the guy in the bathroom even after wasting 20$ he threw at an abuse victim’s vagina.
Adam jokes about returning to the champagne room with shit and piss all over his hands because he won’t cleanup and tip the attendant.
Penn has to go but Adam is on a roll, Penn is now leaving the stage and Adam is right everyone does love Penn Jillette and Adam praises his documentary ‘Tim’s Vermeer.”
3rd Question from John, Adam is now mocking his mic technique difficulties and he wants to know how he can become more like Adam Carolla.
He reveals he lives in Henderson Nevada, Adam is now sharing one of the greatest cock block stories from his life, that actually started at the strip club ‘Paradise’ across from the Hard Rock.
Adam jokes about funerals being held in Las Vegas and further explains it was a funeral for Jimmy Kimmel’s Grandfather.
Adam is now sharing this very rare story and not naming the guy who cock blocked him, as he’s “remarried now” hmmmm?
Adam says he was going to crash with one of his buddies and didn’t want to get a room just to attend a funeral.
Adam tried to call it a night early but was talked into going out despite his hesitance and sore throat.
Adam says he was single and it was during his breakup year with Lynette, he jokes about their future divorce.
Adam says he left the strip club blinded by sunlight with a floozy in tow, he was trying to prep her on his lack of a room and uncertain claim to the bed, his buddy refused to let them use the room and he decided instead to drive out to her place in Henderson.
Adam jokes about them listening to ‘Ace of Base’ at 740am while driving to her house, complete with large Rottweiler out front, she sat down and poured herself some cereal before they were set to get it on.
Adam jokes about their sad drive back to the hotel, the longest shame drive that any two people have ever taken, Adam is now ranting about his buddy who sat down and played blackjack, he didn’t even need the room.
Adam shares how he was awoken by 3 drunk guys as soon as he sat down back in the hotel room, BB says he’s never heard this story.
Adam is doing a Life Lock live read
The News – With Gina Grad
1st Story is on the official Vegas odds on the Academy Awards, she’s giving them the odds for each category and BB explains how the gambling element works.
Adam jokes about the movie ‘Wild’ and Reese Witherspoon realizing she ran out of tampons 26 miles into the journey.
Adam jokes about ‘Birdman’ and says you don’t need to see it, funny explanation.
2nd Story is on Chris Brown’s probation being temporarily revoked after the recent gunplay at his concerts, Adam is now joking about having Barry Manilow sit Chris down and see if he can string together a series of shows without gunfire.
Adam jokes about Chris Brown further and wraps up the story.
3rd Story Skinny Girl Marijuana plans from Bethenny Frankel, Adam is now ranting about the idea and transitioning to Bethany, saying she’s going to be a mess in 4 years’ time.
Adam is now lamenting skinny chicks and explains that straight dudes like rounder chicks.
Adam jokes about the guy from Henderson being the only guy into beating off to Kate Moss.
4th Story is on the cat Café’s in Tokyo that have spread to California and are leading to dog owners who want dog cafes, Adam has a killer eating cats joke and is now ranting about leaving his dog at home with his other things he enjoys.
Adam jokes about cats in a café doing shelter math.
BB says he’s never seen a service dog in a casino, Adam says it’s because the pussy owners don’t want it exposed to secondhand smoke.
Adam jokes with an audience member about an obese man with a dog, he’s riffing about the dog pulling them.
Adam wants to know what goes on at a cat café and if dogs think their obese owners might one day eat them if they run out of food.
Adam is now commenting on the studies about petting animals, hilarious joke about a guy trying to land an F-18 on a carrier at night while petting a cat.
Adam earns a Legal Zoom live read.
5th Story gets interrupted by Adam riffing about Isis targeting cat cafes over Israeli pizza parlors, he’s not encouraging them to do it, but wouldn’t be as angry.
5th story is on a website called “ship your enemies glitter” and Adam is now riffing about shipping your enemy’s silly string.
Adam is describing the bukake of silly string that ruined his house after one of his surprise parties, he wraps up the riff and Gina closes out the news.
Adam is doing an E-Voice live read and once again calls back the guy from Henderson.
Adam closes out the show and there is a somewhat stilted music/legalese moment before they wrap it all up.