12 Jan Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/09/2015 – Nick DiPaolo and Gordon Plutsky
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Nick DiPaolo and Gordon Plutsky
Recorded 01-08-2015 – Release Date 01-09-2015
Production Number #1486
Adam opens the show with a plug for their upcoming live shows and explains the “fudge is packed” variant on the “see how the sausage is made” adage.
BB plays “Take a Little Time to Be Quiet” from Deepak Chopra who did a phone on the KLSX morning show on Feb. 25th 2008.
Adam is now riffing as if he was on in 2007, mocking Bonaduce for interrupting the interview, but that never happened, I think he’s just blowing off steam about that complicated and sometimes awful year of broadcasting with Danny.
Adam is now asking if scents buried under other scents only make them worse, Axe body spray + cigarettes or poop + air freshener.
Adam says that Danny ruined Axe body spray for him, forever.
Adam is now describing a shirtless Bonaduce reeking of nicotine and Axe doing chin-ups adding an extra level of difficulty to his broadcast duties.
Adam is explaining that he was told that BB might be late due to an appointment that could’ve made him a few minutes late, Adam says that BB shouldn’t use appointment for movie dates, being a guy who regularly sees an oncologist it could lead to people worrying.
BB updates them on his chemo and Adam is joking about “injection area” being code for BB’s asshole.
BB explains how good he has it and describes how rough the chemo used to be on him in the higher and more frequent doses he used to get.
Adam is now doing a Legal Zoom live read.
Adam explains he was over at Rich Eisen’s place doing his show and then taped a ‘Take a Knee’ episode afterwards, Adam praises Rich’s good nature and thoughtful demeanor.
Adam is teasing the upcoming TAK with Terry Crews and Adam is now sharing his love for ‘Idiocracy’ and asks why it doesn’t show up on pay cable more often.
Dawson, Gina and BB are all in agreement and Adam bitches about ‘Grown Ups 2’ playing on cable in lieu of this movie.
BB praises Terry and Adam plugs the Paperback of ‘President Me’ and now Adam and BB are discussing fudge, Adam brings up a bit his buddy Paul did during their days at ACME doing improv.
Adam explains the premise of the speech and just what he loved about it, He’s now adding fudge to his list of foods he loves but never eats, the dessert equivalent to fish and chips.
Adam is now arguing for how peanut butter improves everything, Gina says she takes peanut butter over Nutella and the gang are weighing in and Adam jokes about Nutella being the name of a sassy woman of color.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Steve, he wants Adam to steer clear of twitter for the next month, he’s trying to give Adam a pep talk about it, Adam says he doesn’t spend a lot of time around computers.
He wants to give Adam some rant fuel, a little presumptuous claiming it will be “rant of the year” material, these proclamations often go the opposite way.
Adam is now bringing up the woman at LAX who sits at the security post, where it’s unclear if you need to present your id, Adam is now inventing a red strip of tape to indicate where ID’s need to be presented.
Adam is asking Steve what he was doing at the funeral, Adam is mocking Steve’s eulogy and giving a crazy delivery exaggerating how Steve talks.
Adam tells him to push the story along, he’s telling them about his carry-on bag being rejected by the airline after it was applied to the template they use to determine luggage size.
Steve’s flight was undersold, Adam is asking how the angry among us find careers at the airport, and Adam is mocking the “for me, right now?” style of speaking used by assholes at the airport.
Gina is giving her take about how nobody is seemingly paying attention unless it’s an opportunity to give a paying customer shit, good point.
Adam jokes about declaring you’ll never fly on an airline again, how it’s a promise you soon break when you’re looking for the cheapest flight.
2nd Caller Alex, he wants Dr. Bruce replaced, he says he’s terrible but is seemingly unaware of his Loveline history, Bruce was co-hosting on the “Dot or Feather” No Doubt incident from 1995.
Alex wants to replace Dr. Bruce, Adam is asking stenosis, he means Phimosis and Alex goes along with the definition without correcting him.
Adam is now praising Dr. Bruce and his insight, Adam is vaguely remembering when he brought that up, it was the last episode, and Gina gives her take on Bruce.
Gordon is now joining them for a phoner, making his ACS debut.
Adam is now commenting on the dates used in sci-fi films after Gordon makes his bold statement about his imagined decline in NFL popularity.
Gordon shares his take on the fundamental changes to the game and how its left him cold as a viewer, Adam is now arguing against that point and says the excitement of the game argument is not going to sway most people, he mentions the head injury argument and agrees with that.
Adam brings up the bygone era of Jewish championship boxers, he comments on the ebb and flow of sport and brings up the possibility of a lack of new a crop of players due to the head injury concerns.
Adam is once again asking Gordon to share his theory, Adam is now bringing up the large growth of the Hispanic community and their preference for soccer.
Gordon comments on championship gaming, leaving out the audiences for regular play through gaming, the likes of PewDiePie and his ilk.
Gordon is telling them how younger generations will be turning to soccer, Gina has a follow up and now BB is making point about the probably 15% decrease in young prospects in the coming decades.
BB brings up the feeling of the tide turning on the NFL, Adam is sharing his slight theory.
Adam says the meanest guys are the nerds, getting their revenge and comments on the nerds of today reveling in destroying the status and representation of the jocks, Adam jokes about cyber jock straps and how the internet is the equivalent of putting all of the jocks in a shark cage, so you can mock their penis size and walk away unharmed.
Adam is now sharing some info he gleamed while visiting with Rich Eisen, regarding the Ray Rice tape.
3rd Caller Toby, he says hello to everyone including Gina and wonders how DAG is going to react to her, she reminds him that’s already happened.
ACS #1274 from last year.
Adam is now commenting on the 1st day of prison film cliché where things go wrong for the inmate looking for a lunch table, Adam says that he would just find a spot outside in the rec yard.
Adam and Gina re helping him flesh out his movie idea, Adam wraps up with him.
Adam is doing a Smart Mouth Live Read.
Adam asks Gina if she’s single, she says “ish” and Adam asks her what it must feel like for the man in her life who is the “ish” and she agrees it must be pretty terrible, she reveals they’re about 6 months in.
Adam is asking her follow ups about her guy, he wants to know what she finds attractive about him, he’s a comedy writer.
Adam asks her what he looks like, she’s describing his physicality in vague terms.
Gina reveals he’s 51, Adam jokes about Bob Evans and BB plays a choice series of drops from his audiobook.
Adam is now mocking Bob Evans claims that he never encountered cocaine before a young model introduced him to it.
Adam is now connecting that lie to the standup comedian and modeling stories, where they claim that a friend signed them up or pushed them on stage.
Adam says that nobody ever announces they wanted to get high and searched out the drugs, instead they blame someone coming into their lives and getting them hooked.
Gina reveals he works on ‘Two and a Half Men’ and started when Ashton Kutcher came aboard, the post Charlie Sheen era.
4th Caller Tom, he wants to know if Adam had the power to force people to follow through on New Year’s Resolutions what he would have his family and staff do.
Adam has a killer one liner about eating vegetables and brings up Natalia blasting the TV volume on ‘Wizards of Waverly Place’ and having to repeat the same conversations with the same people over and over.
Adam is now sharing a particle board on the ground analogy for having to bring up the same topics over and over.
Adam says he’s learned that’s not how life works and wishes he could make a reel of him just talking about particle board to his guys.
Adam says to Gina that the only real way to move past this is for him to commit suicide, Tom wants to know what he would tell the people around the office, he says he has the gang coached up very well.
Adam is now telling Gina about the bathroom door policy at Carolla Digital.
Adam is now bringing up the “Excuse you!” response you get when knocking on an occupied bathroom door.
Gina brings up a clogged toilet she spotted in the men’s room and they head to break.
They’re back from break with Nick DiPaolo returning to the ACS for his 2nd in studio visit and 3rd altogether counting his phoner appearance, both with Artie Lange and a listener voicemail.
He was on episodes #754 and #766 in 2012.
Adam asks him about filming his latest special, Adam recalls the live Midwest tour that had them playing the Varsity Theater with Mike Lynch running the show.
Adam asks about Artie Lange returning to radio with their stint at DirecTV and he explains they parted ways, not because of their relationship but due to the interference of the network, he wanted to work off color.
Adam is now making a point about minimal effort and maximum return, Adam praises Artie and says he’s the antithesis of someone who has made the most money but has the least talent, they name check a male and female comedian who are the most talented.
Adam praises Adam Sandler as his hero, he calls him the smartest actor in Hollywood.
Adam is now creating a list of the most talented guys, he says that if you put Artie Lange and Norm MacDonald into a juicer you could extract the most comedy out of them.
Adam and Nick are now riffing about Norm playing gigs at Casino’s and how that must be for them knowing all of the money is going back into their coffers, hilarious shitting into a shoebox, Nick has a killer reply, very funny.
Adam is asking Nick what is was like catching Artie at that moment in his life, he says it was fun for a while until they brought it to TV and says he can’t say much more, he references a lawsuit
Adam is now riffing about studio notes and people editing the work of comedians, Adam jokes about having to talk to the yentas at CBS and run your entire act across their desk to “fix it” and Adam wants to know what would happen to the act of someone like Richard Pryor, how would they be remembered.
Nick has a killer anecdote about executives wanting a female perspective and Adam riffs about them requesting one for ‘The Man Show’ and Nick tells Adam that his nerd vs. jock idea is dead on.
Adam is now explaining that jocks are the ultimate victims of bullying, playing football is an attempt to bully the other players and opposing team.
Nick is now riffing and has a funny line directed at Gina, good stuff.
Adam is joking about needing to know when the wind is blowing, riffing about wind chimes and Adam recalls when phones used to be weapons.
Adam explains they used to be able to make dangerous items in shop class.
Gina brought up the chimes, nice.
Nick is commenting on the “real feel” temperature gauge, Adam is joking about the way that’s interpreted in Los Angeles.
The News
1st Story is an update on the manhunt for the suspects in the French terrorist assault on Charlie Hedbo and now Adam is commenting on assimilation and says other cultures shouldn’t be able to move in and bivouac in their country.
Adam says Europe fucked themselves by bending over backwards trying not to offend anyone.
Adam is now being sensible and making some great points about adapting and growing after immigrating to a new country, Nick has a great summation that Adam agrees with but was trying to more gingerly address.
Adam is saying the problem with the culture that doesn’t want to judge is the same one that doesn’t want to go break up the “picnic” and Adam sets up a clip of Bill Maher on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night.
They are now playing the clip of them discussing the terrorist act.
It’s a brilliant bit of audio, wow!
Adam is now saying that we get the point and wraps up the clip, Adam is bringing up Tim McVeigh and how we police ourselves vs. how the Muslim world polices the same terroristic behavior.
Nick is now sharing his take on Bill Maher evolving his opinion, Adam says that Bill has been at this for a while, it’s not this once incident and he explains the risk that Bill opens himself up to by addressing this.
Adam says the word racist is now fucked out by the left and social justice warriors, it now packs as much punch as “cunt” from an Englishman, it’s been over used to death and now means nothing, hilarious joke about using it on his wife while in a hypothetical blowout fight.
2nd Story is on Honda under reporting airbag deaths, Gina has all the info and now Adam is calling airbags joke fucked out, he says they’ve now become too cliché and should no longer be used in movies.
Adam explains the premise of them to Nick who is unfamiliar, Adam is praising Japanese culture and how they internalize rather than externalize, citing ritual suicide as one of their legacies.
Adam is joking about auto erotic asphyxiation ruining the bag around the head method of suicide, incredibly dark and funny riff, Killer washed up hand joke from Nick.
3rd Story Is on Pope Francis visiting the Philippines, Adam wants to know how you can have nothing but traffic in a place with nothing but mopeds, mocking the traffic in that country.
Adam is now asking for a picture of Manny Pacquiáo’s sons and says he saw a documentary about him, he’s now sharing why he loves Manny, he brings up the time he was joking about him and the Philippino people reacted strongly in social media, including Zelda Williams of all people.
Adam’s non that controversial statement of “If that was a white fighter, and probably even a black fighter, if the black fighter was from Atlanta or somewhere like that, someone would go what the f*** are you talking about give your drop of blood, it’s not gonna make a difference” -Adam Carolla and much funnier quote “All they have over there is Manny Pacquiáo and sex tours”. -Adam Carolla
From spring of 2010, which led to death threats and all kinds of other nonsense that soon blew over in part thanks to Manny telling everyone to relax and chill out, that Adam was a comedian and it was his job to say stuff like this.
Adam is now explaining how Jon Stewart once told him to not offend the Philippino people and Adam is calling for a better shot of Manny’s sons, Adam says they are rocking moustaches at 12/13 and seems to think they’re good kids.
Adam is now doing a live read for TriCalm
Adam asks more about the pope going to Manila, Gina has the incredible detail of the traffic/city employees being ordered to wear diapers and it being suggested to all of the people showing up to see the pope.
They’re now looking at a better picture and Adam admonishes Gary to pull them down, they are done.
4th Story is on the death threats being lobbed at the model who posed with Justin Bieber for a new campaign, Nick has a funny Taliban comment and asks for a middle ground between their extremes and teens threatening to murder a model for doing her job.
Adam is now offering up a deal where we package Martin Short with Justin Bieber and send them both back to Canada, we would lose Martin but he’s only got so much time left, the Beebs could be here for a long time.
BB is suggesting we include Ryan Reynolds and Adam adds Seth Rogen to the deal, BB tries to do a Canadian accent, he fails but gets the “o” right in body.
Hilarious “chopped up” line from Nick after Adam and BB do a great improv enactment of this scene, where Adam makes the deal with Canada about returning Justin.
Dawson gets on mic with a funny ‘Rush’ comment to sweeten the deal.
Adam is now adding Dan Aykroyd to the deal, saying if they stopped him from bringing up aliens it would help things progress.
Adam is now back to Manny Pacquiáo’s son and his shrewd moustache style, funny riff.
5th Story is the Sue Ann Arnall and Harold Hamm divorce, Adam is now riffing about her walking into an attorney’s office and telling him about their net worth of 18 billion.
Adam is now the personification of the thoughts in the lawyers mind trying to process how much he can snatch of their fortune.
Gina wraps up the news with the “Hack with the Rack” closer.
Adam is doing a My Spice Sage live read and explains how their deal gets you a free copy of ‘Not Taco Bell Material’
Adam gives out the plugs and wraps up the show to his new “Fudge Run” drop.