07 Jan Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/06/2015 – Harland Williams and Deaf Frat Guy
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Harland Williams and Deaf Frat Guy
Recorded 01-04-2015 – Release Date 01-05-2015
Production Number #1482
Adam is back for the 2nd episode, solid intro from Dawson and Lynch. Adam promotes the upcoming live shows and welcomes Gina Grad and BB, Bryan’s #TopDrop request of “Pussy Lips” comes from Jimmy Kimmel.
Adam is now using aging dudes who get injured and lose their lifestyle in a matter of weeks for his experiences over the holidays, complete with beer in the pocket of his bathrobe.
Gina is asking Adam about his stain level on the robe, Adam is describing his lazy sack of shit lifestyle and how it took him 4 days to fully embrace it/slip into its grasp.
Gina gets Adam to explain it was almost in reaction to his brutal year of 2014.
Adam is now describing how fighters cut weight in MMA and how training camps allow them to get their shit together, Adam says the entertainment version is when you’re booked on a TV show.
Adam is back to his quick sack of shit living, he is bragging about missing the breakfast menu because he slept in too late, hilarious pussy eating one liner from Ace.
Adam explains how his wife realizes how much it means for it to him have this free time to relax, he’s now bringing up the “no more” ads played during the NFL.
Adam is now mocking himself for bringing up the “how do I explain this to my kids” argument, once again.
Adam has a killer description of explaining a Cialis commercial to his son, BB is now asking if he’s asking about how to really explain this, as if it was a comedy premise.
Adam is asking Gina about her holiday break, apparently spent in mud in the desert, she mentions her boyfriend and his opinion on the mud baths.
Adam is now bringing up couples massages and riffing about that with some killer lines, he then takes it to the rough massages he often gets and how he tries to hide his pain from their less than stellar technique.
Adam is now reading a review from a local barber, he says he went to Yelp to find a replacement for his usual spot “American Model Cuts” and found a place called ‘Paco’s Barber Shop’ and this review.
Adam is now using the shitty “had a lot of laughs but” review for his books, he asks what people are expecting from a comedy book.
Adam brings up avocado and jokes about waking up a sleeping giant, Dawson.
“I’m in the lead bitch, ask one of the slower shits behind me” – Adam on the response when asked about his neckline preference.
Adam is further reading the review and riffing on it with some commentary.
Adam is now bringing up the male Hollywood elite asking if they have rounded or square edged haircuts.
Gina brings up Massengill Medicated Douche, Adam jokes about Gary knowing the correct answer when he asks about the spelling.
Adam and BB are doing a Draft Kings live read.
Adam is bringing up a bumper sticker he saw, it said “follow me to the city of Santa Clara to the Children’s library” and riffing about actually doing that and how he would be arrested.
Gina and BB are in the mix and helping him explain the distance involved in driving from Los Angeles to Santa Clara.
Adam is further riffing about this, Gina has a funny point and Adam closes it with a killer Megan’s Law joke.
Adam says he intentionally started driving slow to see the bumper sticker again and the van also slowed down, BB is joking about Adam not being a weirdo for following a van to get to the kids library.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Matt, he’s asking Adam for a psychic reading, perhaps an in-joke regarding Gina’s participation on the show ‘Calling Out with Susan Pinsky’.
Adam is calling back his own experience getting a reading where his cat Norman was brought up, Adam is going in depth on matt’s cat ‘Walter’ and Matt is reaction perfectly and adding nicely to the comedy, solid work.
BB brings up Gina’s work on the Calling Out, Adam is hitting every psychic cliché he witnessed during his 10 years on Loveline. (My Dog ate my TV remote while Adam was going on about Matt’s cats destroying his most prized possessions, Great Magnet!)
Deaf Frat guy is now joining them for a round of his Mangria sponsored game, Adam is asking him about his experience over the holidays, he says he took a lot of Nyquil and blacked out.
Adam is now riffing about the Groundhog funneling beers during the annual festival in Punxsutawney.
J.V. or All Balls
Adam gets mixed up by the title, not realizing it was changed from All Balls or J.V. to this alternate version, I assume due to the requirement of it being used as a song lyric, so the intro dictated the title in this case.
BB asks Gina if she’s familiar with the game, she is.
1st JVOAB “Waking up with Bill Cosby drilling you”
Adam says it’s now become All Balls and might end up being a payday, DFG jokes about it and says it’s all balls.
2nd JVOAB Chris Christie’s bro-mance with the Cowboys owner, Adam says he was disappointed he wasn’t eating or screaming.
Gina doesn’t like looking at him and calls it J.V. and DFG tells her she’s correct.
3rd JVOAB “The guy who wrote a book about his two cranks/meat puppets”
Adam brings up the friend’s girlfriend who had two vaginas, Gina is having him clarify and he explains that his friend told him how it worked, BB gets Adam to explain that the girlfriend corroborated the story.
DFG jokes about what he would be doing if he had two cranks, he says he’s trying to get the movie rights, Adam has a slick Angelina Jolie joke.
4th JVOAB “DFG being snubbed at the Ace Awards”
He suggest a new category of “Most Loyal Bro” and he’s now getting emotional, this is hilarious!
Adam is rolling with this excellently, DFG’s vocal work is off the charts great.
Adam brings up Blake Chambers, Adam apologizes and says they feel bad, he tells him to blame Dawson.
DFG brings up his as of yet unlaunched podcast, Adam wraps up with him.
Adam brings up the new states they can ship to for Mangria, he cites a conversation with a guy on a plane a few years ago where he was informed he couldn’t ship alcohol to him.
Adam is lamenting the blue laws that disappear and nothing changes as a result, Gina has a puritan comment that helps Adam sum up his thoughts.
Adam is doing a Smart Mouth live read
Adam is using guys who can dance and how it’s a “socially acceptable preview of them in the sack” and now Adam is asking a hypothetical question about an uglier guy who moves better than a handsome guy, he says he would believe that women would choose the guy who can move over the pretty one.
2nd Caller Erin, she was watching the movie ‘Life Itself’ and she wants to know how Adam would feel about someone he knows or works with hiding a grave illness from him.
Adam says he would never take it personally, he says it’s like when people discover some juicy gossip, when Adam overhears it, he goes silent and doesn’t use other people’s stuff to make it about him or to experience some form of schadenfreude.
BB is giving his take and shares an anecdote of his late aunt who died of breast cancer without anyone in the family aware her cancer had come back, BB has a very fair take on people being allowed their choice.
Adam takes it back to Erin and asks her take on this since she brought it up.
Adam brings up the Paul Newman doc and how he asked everyone about their last meeting with Paul before he died, Adam recalls what Mario Andretti told him about Paul’s final look at him.
Adam explains he Paul pitied people who pitied him, killer Mr. T reference.
Adam explains he had disdain for people who felt pity.
Adam is now doing a Blue Apron live read.
Adam declares “spice the spice of life.”
Adam tells BB about the upcoming offer he’s going to get about buying back the unsold hardcover editions of his book.
They head to break.
They’re back from break with no sign of Harland Williams
1st Story is on the official groundbreaking for the California bullet train, Adam is mocking the idea, and he used to beg for this innovation when it came to the possibility of a train to Vegas.
Adam is now bringing up how bus tickets and train tickets are more expensive than flying and the journey takes longer, BB leads him to this idea.
Now Adam is mocking the notion of this being a “bullet train” and wants to bring some Japanese guys over to make fun of it.
Adam says he would still be on board for the L.A. to Vegas bullet train, he says his one rule would be that booze and slots machines descend from the ceiling upon crossing the state line.
Gina asks Adam about his experiences flying and if he ever had a fear of it, he tells her about not flying during the 1st 31 years of his life, he doesn’t note the childhood flights between New Jersey and Los Angeles, they had to fly I assume.
Harland joins them for his 16th appearance and is telling them about his new app that was banned from the iTunes store, it’s on Android right now.
Adam is now asking about the premise of this game, Adam asks who else they have in Canada besides Mayor Tom Ford, Adam references Paul Bernardo from his favorite episode of HBO’s ‘Autopsy’ and now they’re talking about guys who push shaved ice carts vs. gyro carts, Adam says that the shaved ice guy needs a bell as you can’t smell ice.
Harland is joking about pubic hair styles and mocks his reception, Adam is reassuring him and plugging Harland’s podcast and website.
Harland has a funny Corona joke and is now asking Adam about his use of the word Azure, Adam says that this club he’s p[laying is the same type of venue that Pat Benatar would play.
Adam brings up his sad realization about feeling sympathy for how far someone’s star has fallen for playing the same venue he’s playing.
Harland brings up ‘The Fix’ and takes it back to iconic Canadian personalities, Harland tells Adam to put his pen down and focus.
Harland is telling them about finding the tiny bodies of the presidents on Mount Rushmore, he’s joking and Adam is now riffing about why they don’t clean the mountain face and remove the overgrowth.
Harland has a funny “it goes off” delivery that will probably be a new drop.
Adam is riffing about screwing hot mountain women after using mosquito repellant that’s infused with pheromones to lure women to you.
Adam is doing a Legal zoom live read.
2nd Story – Germany or Florida? Gina tells them about a father who called a deputy to supervise him disciplining his daughter to make sure it was within the limits of legality.
Gina has a clip, Adam mocks the idea of having a clip and how that could easily give away where the story took place, Adam knows its Florida and jokes about backsack which Gina didn’t believe was a real thing.
Adam is riffing about these types of stories as told 20yrs later in a therapists office, Adam is trying to imagine a therapist processing this information.
Gina and Adam are explaining “frat paddles” to Harland, Adam wants to know how long after the first paddle was invented it was used to smack someone’s ass, he references poor caveman “Tovar”(Tobar?) and now Harland is just riffing about nonsense and popping fish eyes.
Adam invents zBay a zit popping auction site where women bid on popping guys zits, Gina is curious how Adam knows that women would like to do that.
Adam says that women have the same move towards zits that they have to newborn babies, Adam jokes about Gina showing up with her GoPro and her goggles.
Harland is asking them about zits that spray upon being popped, Adam says the greatest zit is the one in your ear and how the best part is you can hear it pop.
Harland is lamenting Christian Bale’s eye mole and has an excellent ‘Highlander’ reference.
BB uses a Harland drop on Harland, they’re all looking at Christian’s mole and Adam is joking about him using a breathe-right strip and amber.
They’re now looking Aaron Neville and riffing about his mole/birthmark.
Adam tells Gina to bring it home and she launches into a new story, missing the queue.
3rd Story is on the new laws going into effect, Adam brings up the increasing laws over time and jokes about what this will look like in 200 years, he says we should treat this like a Gin Rummy hand and for every new law we must eliminate an old one.
Gina explains that Drew Bledsoe is partially responsible for this new law that opens up booze shipping to Massachusetts.
Adam is now struggling with the notion of not being able to send a bottle of wine across the country, Harland jokes about making his own wine with his restless leg syndrome, funny line from Gina combining the idea into a type of wine.
Harland is riffing about bunches of grapes, Adam asks if Harland would prefer to be crushed into a bottle of wine or age into a raisin if he was a grape, bizarre.
Harland has an out there Obamacare premise to launch into a joke, Gina is telling them about the “yes means yes” law in California.
Gina shares the response she got from college kids when she polled them on this new law.
Adam is joking about football players giving thumbs up while being dragged off a football field, he says half the guys on the beaches of Normandy gave a thumbs up while their intestines were spilled out.
Adam is bringing up how driving while intoxicated is always a great idea when you want to make a ‘Tommy’s’ run and references punching a horse, unknowingly referencing Harland’s work in the movie ‘Half Baked’ and you can hear Harland take an extra beat processing it, trying to gauge if Adam is bringing up the movie or not.
Gina wraps the news.
Adam is doing a live read for Zip Recruiter.
Adam is closing out the show with a plug for Take a Knee, hilarious “start sucking” line when BB brings up Terry Crews intimidating physique.