Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/03/2013 – State of the Union 2013

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/03/2013 – State of the Union 2013

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Recorded 01-02-2013 – Release Date 01-03-2013

Adam is opening the show with the standard intro, welcoming everyone back.

Adam is now explaining what a narcissist he is, Bryan is joking about there not being enough time in the show. Adam is now sharing an anecdote about FroYo and Natalia, he’s going in depth an connecting it to his theory as to why women in their 40’s with daughters spin out and go nutty.

Adam just dropped an amazing quote pertaining to “Chill Pills” and then he blows everyone’s mind with a 2013 rendition of the self-satisfied sniff. Adam is now back to the FroYo story with Natalia; he’s now explaining what it’s like being a father to Sonny, hilarious!

Adam is now explaining his “Everyone needs to get their shit together” New Year’s resolution for society, Adam is now thanking everyone for making the network so successful in 2012.

Adam is announcing some upcoming guests named Jay and Bryan is chiming to joke about the guests, Adam just announced the return of Larry Miller on January 9th as well as some other exciting announcements.


Adam is now sharing an anecdote about attending a Christmas party at his sister’s house; he’s explaining the lack of interest from the blood Carolla’s and the differences with his step family.

Adam is telling the gang about a conversation with his step cousin Kim and the photograph with her that’s featured in NTBM.

Adam and Alison are riffing on all the reasons Kim might/should be inclined to buy a copy on Amazon.


Adam is now transitioning to how he always gets on the topic of self-entitlement, he’s discussing it with Alison and reveals he has some inspiration for his next movie; he met with Kevin Hench to discuss it and had one of these entitlement experiences at the diner.

Adam is now calling for cheese clarity after receiving some fake cheese inside of his omelet, Alison is chiming and they’re breaking down the type of people who enjoy fake cheese, Adam is citing examples where a slice of American is ok.

Adam is now going in depth on the “Pepper Jack Incident” at the restaurant where he was meeting Hench, hilarious outrage and quotes. Alison is jumping in and adding to the comedy.

Adam and Bryan are now doing a hilarious “subliminal man” pepper jack cheese reenactment, Alison is jumping in with some insight about “the customer is always right”.

Adam has another anecdote about getting his tuxedo tailored and the giant brass buttons that were sewn onto it by the unruly tailor.


Adam is now reporting on some sad news about Adam’s dear friend “Philip the Juggler” who passed away last month. Adam is now sharing some anecdotes about Philip and his career; he has the control room fire up an old “Coors Light” commercial that Philip did.

Adam is now doing a live read for Jimmy Kimmel Live moving to 11:35pm; Adam is reading the upcoming guest list and sounds very happy for his old friend!

Adam is now telling an anecdote about his kids and how Natalia responded to the JKL billboard.


They’re back from break and Adam is riffing on the things fans tweeted him that piss him off during vacation, he’s going off on pumpkin egg nog as a prime example.

Adam and Bryan are now riffing on nutmeg and Adam is presenting a new theory on why it even exists, this has got to be Ace’s greatest “nutmeg” riff, gold!


Now the gang are all sharing what they did on their vacation, Alison is up first, Adam follows it up with a quick anecdote about the kids watching the east coast feed for the ball drop in New York.

Bryan is now sharing about his New Year’s activities, he has a question about friends being required to stock a full bar in their house. Adam is now explaining how he was heading to Bill Simmons house with his wife and wanted to make them his “The Better Man” cocktail.

Adam is now going in depth on the “Maple” Canadian Rye that Lynette bought.


1st Caller Hilary, she wants Adam’s take on burlesque dancing, she prefaces with some comments about Adam’s take on modern strippers, and Adam is riffing on the state of the strip club in response.

Adam is now on burlesque dancing; he’s got a great soft-core porn analogy and cites internet porn for another analogy.

Adam and Bryan are now discussing Sylvia Kristel and her work in the “Emmanuelle” film series, Adam is trying to figure out if she was Richard Belzer’s wife and now they’re riffing on Alison’s response to that, very funny and dark!

Adam and Bryan are riffing on Lady Chatterley vs. the Emmanuelle series, hilarious back and forth and amazing quotes. Adam refuses to even watch and Emmanuelle movie if it was filmed in his anus, hilarious riff and Alison seems to love it.


They’re back from the 2nd break and Adam is explaining how he is swamped with buck slips of things to complain about. Adam is quickly touching on his experience at Disneyland over the break with his kids, now he’s reading some of the notes he took.

Adam is asking about the older people you see at Disneyland, the lost souls as he puts it. Alison wants to know what your attitude about the holidays should be as an adult, very interesting question.

Adam is now describing the present opening frenzy his daughter got worked up into and how the kids were both moody and bitchy all day after opening gifts, Adam is now describing a photo you can see on with the kids and the remnants of the wrapping paper.

Adam is giving his own example of how with every car he acquires they all lose some value to him; he’s riffing on acquiring mode vs. appreciation mode.

Alison is jumping in and Adam is giving various analogies about appreciation.

Adam is making his larger point about how giving people things fucks them up, a very interesting and astute assessment of society.


Alison’s News, her top story is on the fiscal cliff deal that passed on NYE. Adam is weighing in with his take on the potential tax hike, he’s being very eloquent and describing human nature and how he’s no different with his own money than the government is with other people’s money.

Alison is throwing in some more details and now Adam is back to Disneyland and he’s explaining how crowded it is there.

Adam is now explaining how the valet service works at Disneyland, Alison wants to know if Adam paid for it and he’s explaining why he agreed.

Adam is now explaining how Lynette got hungry and took some time to wait in line for food, hilarious quotes from Adam about the hourly rate for the Disney valet.

Adam is now breaking down how they tried to figure out if they should tip the valet and how much would be appropriate, Alison has a funny reply to Adam’s comparison between the secret menu at “In-N-Out burger”.

Adam is comparing the experience at Disneyland to the way the American Government works, he’s correct that nothing else works that way, very interesting argument.


Alison’s 2nd story is on Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy, she cites their couple name the media is using. Adam is now explaining how they shouldn’t force the merged names and this is not a good one.

Adam is sharing the anecdote about the steak dinner with Nick Santora; he’s sharing a new twist on the anecdote where August attempted to use an old line about the steak having marks from the jockey on it.

Adam’s now full circle to the “pretty sure I heard it” from the top of the show, Alison calls it back and Adams is explaining the “ginger incident” with August.

Alison is wrapping the news and Adam is launching into a live read.