Rice-Less Veggie Rice Casserole

Rice-Less Veggie Rice Casserole

As heard on The Adam Carolla Show, a delicious NSNG casserole brought to you by Gina Grad.

Rice-less Veggie Rice Casserole

(Because when Adam Carolla tells you to post your bomb-ass casserole recipe, you do it!!)

A bit o’ the old overview…

I made this glorious concoction up after looking at 8,000 broccoli rice casserole recipes so this is sort of a fever dream of those, mixed with me shoving as many veggies in there (“hiding them from myself”, as I say) as possible. This is basically NSNG. Please excuse any measurements that aren’t perfect and feel free to tweak as desired. (The casserole, not me).
Here we go!

Things you’ll need (that I needed at least)…

Riced cauliflower (1 bag)
10ish oz Broccoli chopped florets
Kale (I bought it already chopped. Use as much as you want. Or don’t use it at all. It’s your life.)
10ish oz Mushroom (sliced crimini mushrooms)
1 Onion (Pre-chopped is a godsend)
Grated Brussel sprouts (I hand grate them bc I like to pretend I’m a fancy pioneer sometimes)
Chopped garlic to taste

2 cups Cheddar
1 cup Parmesan cheese
2 cups Whole milk (may also wanna splash a bit of heavy whipping cream / 2 dollops of sour cream for thickness, since we’re not using traditional all purpose flour)

2-4 tablespoons of Almond or coconut flour (you’ll know if it’s not thick enough. More on that later).

Seasoning salt to taste
Pepper to taste
1/2 teaspoon Mustard powder
1/2 teaspoon Garlic powder

Any meat you want. I think the texture of pulled / cubes chicken works great, but feel free to experiment with sausage, ground beef, whatevs…

First, pre-heat the oven to 350.

Put broccoli in a microwave-safe bowl filled with water and heat that bad boy for 8 minutes while you start on the stove.

Sauté the onions (I start with those because I like them well done).
Add Brussel Sprouts next. (I like’em crispy, so you can turn up the eat a bit while you do these BUT DON’T FORGET TO TURN BACK DOWN FOR THE REST. I WARNED YOU. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.)
Add mushrooms and garlic.
Swoosh around in the pan till lightly brown and “aromatic” (aka: they smell like mushrooms)
Then sprinkle in the kale, stirring everything together.
(Pssst: there will be a LOT of juice in the pan! Other cooks consider throwing it away to be a sacrilege but I’m not a real cook and don’t care about your judgement. I like to strain the veggies out over the sink to keep from getting mushy).

*Kitchen ninja challenge: If you can manage heating up your riced cauliflower in a sauce pan next to all this craziness on the other burner, do it in tandem. If not, do it when you’re done sautéing everything else so it doesn’t sit there and get squishy. You just want to soften it up a little.

Pour the milk into a warm, empty saucepan slowly, and add your flour.
Whisk at a medium pace without stopping and slowly bring the pan to a simmer.

*Helpful hint: I’ve found that my sauce doesn’t want to thicken very well when I use hippie dippie types of flour so this is where the sour cream dollop / extra flour comes in. Keep whisking and use your eyeballs. You’ll see when it thickens up.

Once it turns into an honest to goodness sauce, throw in your cheeses and seasonings.

Now go find a BIG ASS BOWL and pour EVERYTHING into it.

Mix it up carefully but thoroughly so that everything is coated with sauce. Your arm should hurt after your done. That’s how you know you did a good job.

Now spoon this fabulousness into a greased casserole dish, hit it with some more cheddar and Parmesan on top, spray the top with cooking oil so it doesn’t burn and throw in the oven for 25 minutes.

This thing should look like a big ol’ pile of bubbling, cheesy goodness at this point… but wait!

Turn on the broiler and leave in for another 3 or 4 minutes.

NOW you’re done!

Let it cool for as long as things out of ovens take to cool and…enjoy!!

*Helpful hint: If it’s still a little watery, don’t worry! Carefully pour some of it out in the sink from each angle. And like many things it’s even better the next day and by then, a lot of the water will magically disappear).

Hit me up with pictures and reviews when you’re done but remember – I’m not a real chef so go easy on your criticism, Julia Child!!!

Bon appetite!


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