This Week in Rage – 1/25/14
This Week in Rage, a blog about the things that pissed me off this week:
Simultaneous Knock and Enter: I know I’ve written about this on the blog before. But it happened again. I was on the pot the other day had the simultaneous knock and enter moment with the nanny. You’re supposed to knock and then wait for a response like “Excuse You!”, “Wait a second” or “My anus is dilated” (okay, maybe that last one is a little wordy and personal). There was no pause between the knock and her entering the room. Of course she found me on the shitter because there was nothing I could do in the three tenths of a second she gave me. Why do you bother knocking? Why not just kick the door in and do a shoulder roll like a SWAT team if you have no intention of actually pausing long enough hear if a noise comes from the other side of the door? And to you assholes who feel the need to point out that I could lock my bathroom door – one should not have to lock one’s bathroom door in one’s home when making a number two.
Super Bowl Roman Numerals: Can’t we just admit it was a mistake like the terror alert color chart. That thing made no sense. If you need to explain it every time it’s not a good system. Same with the Super Bowl Roman numerals. We shouldn’t have to do math. Even people who live in Rome wouldn’t know that the fuck this means. The Romans who invented it would be confused. If Nero or Caesar were alive today and I asked them what XLVII was they’d say “Two-hundred and twenty six? I don’t know”
And how many of the players in the Super Bowl know what it is? Fast forward two years and let’s ask the players from Denver and Seattle what XLVII means and they’d have no idea. It’s confusing and archaic.
Plus it’s not like Romans not known for their pigskin prowess. Why do we have to pay homage? Are we afraid we’re going to offend them? They’re going to send their legions after us? We don’t have Roman numerals for the Oscars or the Grammys do we? When someone says it’s the 55th annual Grammys you don’t feel confused, right? You don’t think, “Where are the weird Vs and Xs? I don’t know what’s going on.” I’m just saying we should use regular numbers like we do with porno. It’s not Spank Me, Fuck Me XXVII, it’s Spank Me, Fuck Me 28.