Schmoes Know


Listen to the Adam Carolla Podcast  


Show Summary

Adam opens the show talking about his afternoon workout and wrestling with the kids. He also talks about their Valentine’s Day class party, and his attempts to swap our their gifts. Alison then starts up the news discussing the decision to make Villaraigosa the chairman of the National Democratic Convention. Other news stories involve Whoopi Goldberg, the Heart Attack Grill, and a controversial new PETA ad.

Mark Ellis of Schmoes Know joins the show next, and talks with Adam and the gang about some Oscar hopefuls. They also take your tweets for a round of Made Up Movie, and take time to make fun of Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, and Nicolas Cage. As the show wraps up, Adam complains about comic book movies, and the guys discuss the Westminster dog show and a new TV channel for dogs.

Follow the guys on Twitter @SchmoesKnow, and be sure to visit http://www.YouTube.com/SchmoesKnow


PETA Vegan
A Thousand Words
Nicolas Cage

Show Credits

Producer: Mike Lynch
Producer: Mike Dawson
Audio/Voice Over/Post-Production: Mike Dawson
Newsgirl: Alison Rosen
Sound Effects: Bryan Bishop
Associate Producer: Gary Smith
Technical Director: Chris Laxamana
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Image Gallery

  1. Chester

    Quite possibly the worst episode yet.

    • Dirk

      ^^^Quite possibly the worst comment yet.

    • Big T
      Big T02-16-2012

      Great Story

    • Cyrus

      Chester, you have AIDS.

    • Graham Wellington
      Graham Wellington02-16-2012

      You should change your avatar to the comic book guy from The Simpsons

    • Albert

      Hard to believe. Especially since the guest isn’t a hot chick.

    • Phil Dyrte
      Phil Dyrte02-16-2012

      “Made up movie” always blows.

    • Huh?

      Care to explain?

    • Sal

      The Ace man doesn’t have a bad show.

    • John PG
      John PG02-19-2012

      This guest sucks – he talks too much…

    • GoBB

      Quite possibly, Chester, you consumed ball gravy before, during and after that post.

  2. Ben H.
    Ben H.02-16-2012

    Is there any chance Daves of Thunder will be returning to the ACE network?

    • big jim
      big jim02-16-2012

      Hear, hear! Check out this episode of the Film Vault (special guest one Dave Dameshek) for an inside peak into the untimely downfall of DoT: http://tfvpodcast.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/top-5-acting-performances-by-athletes-guest-dave-dameshek/

      • J Pete
        J Pete02-16-2012

        Thanks so much for posting this!!! Great stuff and it’s good to hear about what happened to DOT!!!

      • Pike

        Thanks for the info and the link, Jim!

    • Wes Kanaloa
      Wes Kanaloa02-16-2012

      Every time one of you DOT escape from the half-way home and bring up that show I want to respond with vitriol and message-board angst.

      Then I figure you’re just trollin’ and I ain’t hatin’.

      Good luck with life, friendo.

      • b

        Yeah, but explaining how you want to respond with angst and vitriol, is, in itself, angst-filled and vitriolic.

  3. RSTK

    It’s Chester! From the old website! Be sure to check this one out folks, because Chester is always wrong.

  4. Chase

    99% sure the voice over on the PETA ad is Kevin Nealon. I’m surprised Bryan didn’t notice that.

    • May Kadoodee
      May Kadoodee02-16-2012

      Uh Oh!

    • eric-the-ded

      I just came here to see if anyone else pointed this out.
      Sounded like Nealon to me.

  5. Gendo

    Best Episode Yet!

  6. PhillyPhil

    You Sir, are wearing a Rocky costume. Made a Rocky reference early too. #how to get beat up in philly

  7. david

    Why does the pirate ship keep docking in this retarded port? Bad guests every time. Don’t care about their movie opinions or their desire to be internet famous.

    • JessMan

      time to walk the plank matey

    • Cyrus

      The why the fuck do you/did you listen, fucktard? By your own logic, you just admitted to being a tard.

  8. Chris

    No, I think the worst episode I’ve heard is the Kevin Smith episode. That guy was wrong and is what I feared the rumors mde him out to be, a self absorbed narcissistic blowhard. And he wouldn’t shut up and let the beautiful Alison Rosen do her news.

    • Cyrus

      And he couldn’t stop trying to pre-emp every possible fucking response. What a pansy. ‘I don’t mean/That’s not to say/I’ll be the first to admit I’….just shut the fuck up and make your point. I can’t stand people like that in real life. Trying to listen to just the audio of a douche like that is enough to make people consider suicide as a rational option for their lives.

      • b

        Leave the joking to Adam

  9. Tyler

    Bout time Ellis! Been waiting for this one for a while. Great pod.

  10. Braying Sports Aficionado
    Braying Sports Aficionado02-16-2012

    “How do you even get your mouth around that thing”


  11. May Kadoodee
    May Kadoodee02-16-2012

    Cockatease – Good one Ace – Sniffffffff!

  12. Hot Nikks
    Hot Nikks02-16-2012

    I guess because I’ve always loved smuggling gas station candy into the movie theater, I’ll never be a rich man. It’s sounds like Ace had Smuggler’s Blues (rim shot) from doing it.

  13. Hot Nikks
    Hot Nikks02-16-2012

    Was that PETA ad narrated by Kevin Nealon?

    • May Kadoodee
      May Kadoodee02-16-2012

      Uht Owe!

  14. Midwest

    Good episode. The first made up movie was just the plot from Dirty Work.

    • May Kadoodee
      May Kadoodee02-16-2012

      Staring the “Baby Gorilla” Artie Lange…

  15. John Q
    John Q02-16-2012

    Hey from yesterdays episode, what Chaka Khan song were they talking about where she sings about herself? Anyone know the title?

    • J Pete
      J Pete02-16-2012

      It’s ‘I Feel for You’ – it’s actually the dj that says her name.

      • maggie

        Yesterday I was listening to a podcast in which they played songs where title and the artist’s name were the same.

        Some examples: Bad Company by Bad Company
        Talk Talk by Talk Talk
        Living in a Box by Living in a Box

    • CACAHD

      Chaka Khan song “I Feel For You”

  16. Jack

    Jesus, you sure popped on ASAP to get something you hate. Go fuck yourself.

  17. Jason

    Worst is a strong word

  18. Domenique

    Al Qaida would hate the Saudi’s or UAE for their supreme over indulgence, a three patty burger??? nyet comrade… Thanks for you kind support of defending the enemy and sweetly diffusing their motives.

    • Cyrus

      Learn how to fucking listen without projecting whatever retarded thoughts enter your brain on top of what’s ACTUALLY BEING SAID. He was talking about ridiculous eating contests…oh and if you think Al Qaida is ‘cool’ with the Saudis and UAE, you truly are a fucktard.

  19. Uhhhh

    Stop singing, just stop.

  20. WikiWha

    Good show

  21. Matt

    Carolla, the master at rehashing old stories and bits, ranting about how Hollywood needs to stop making comic book movies because it is rehashing old material – “Oh, sweet irony!”

    • Cyrus

      Not really. You’re an idiot for comparing TV shows and movies to STORIES being told (ya know, those little things that get TOLD again and again throughout time?) WOW.

  22. Chris

    I love how at the end of each show, Dawson can’t say “Bakersfield” without using his redneck voice.

  23. Brian

    Adam must have hated it when the Coen brothers warmed over Cormac McCarthy’s ‘No Country for Old Men’ and when Papillon was ripped off from the book.

  24. burga

    the funniest part of carolla is that for all his complaints about his family and parents being cold and unloving, he is constantly rationalizing being the same way toward his own kids.

    • May Kadoodee
      May Kadoodee02-16-2012

      I always thought the funniest part of Adam was his ability to improvise, crack wise and hold his own against any other comedian, thanks for straightening me out “burga meister, meister burga” – Rudolph the Reindeer

  25. Tread

    Rock Bottom!!!! Ace’s gay porn name.. Hello??? how do you miss that one?

  26. Spike

    Adam constantly complains about no new movie concepts. But he’ll crack on artsy people or independent “snobs” as he calls them. Well those are the movies he is talking about. The fact is that movies with fresh stories and original directing don’t make a lot of money in the mainstream market. Reservoir Dogs didn’t do well at the box office. But these movies ARE being made. HE JUST DOESN’T GO TO THEM BECAUSE HE’S A HYPOCRITE. Stop going to the theater that only shows the popular films. Go to a theater that shows independent movies and “artsy” films and you will see some new stuff. Adam wants everyone to change the world to suit him when all he needs to do is change his own behavior. Matt is totally right. Every podcast you listen to he will have at least one anecdote we have heard at least three times already and then complains about other people repeating the same thing over and over. A perfect example is how they were talking about “The Tree of Life”. A great movie with a fresh concept, great direction, great acting and I’m sure when Adam sees it he’ll say it sucks. Why? Because it isn’t made like every other movie which is really what he wants. And what the majority of people want which is why all the bad movies still get made and seen. He’s just as much of the problem as the people he is complaining about.

    • May Kadoodee
      May Kadoodee02-16-2012

      too many words Spike, my ADD kicked in…

    • Matt

      Amen, brother. Amen.

    • Cyrus

      Again, you, like Matt, are a fucking retard for comparing STORIES (which by definition are TOLD again and again throughout time) to regurgitated movies and tv shows. Learn how to use a fucking analogy, and also, realize this isn’t fucking god talking to you, it’s ONE GUY with an OPINION on things that people HAPPEN to enjoy listening to. Nobody’s raking your carcass over any coals to do so. Got a prob? Don’t fucking listen. It’s THAT SIMPLE. You people who will write half a page bitching about this shit truly are the worst. Get a fucking life and something productive to do with your time instead of whining about irrelevant shit which won’t affect your life AT ALL. FFS.

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle02-17-2012

      Did you ever see Die Hard?
      Remember when he ran across the broken glass?
      That was awesome.

  27. mildly amused
    mildly amused02-16-2012

    Big Jim, thanks for the link with Damashek, I still really miss DOT, best show ever!

  28. james

    Good show, but the Made Up Movie game?! Does ANYONE here actually find that funny?

    • May Kadoodee
      May Kadoodee02-16-2012

      I like it alot

    • Hot Nikks
      Hot Nikks02-17-2012

      “Eh…. Sometimes” Not this time

  29. Unbald BrIan
    Unbald BrIan02-16-2012

    The flaming pekingese bit was amazing. Best part of the show today.

  30. May Kadoodee
    May Kadoodee02-16-2012

    I always like to go back and look at the previous days message board and was surprised to see the people from Tokyo and Amsterdam, plus our pals from down under who post messages, it’s cool! Is there anybody else out there from other parts of the world? Want to check in? Buehler? Buehler? I’ll start it off, I’m May and I’m from Dudeseldorf, Jermany or Mesa Mesa whatta placea, AZ. Boring yes, but we do have pretty freeways as Ace says. Obviously he’s never been to the West Side Essay and should avoid it… just saying

  31. rushbaby

    Lighting a dog on fire?…not funny…the rest of this episode…very funny indeed.

    • May Kadoodee
      May Kadoodee02-16-2012

      It is funny, but ladies and gentleman, not as funny as a bloated conservative talk show host who gives his house keeper cabbage to go get blue babies for him to snort up his fat nostrils and then going on vacation to the Philippines where he can have sex with underage girls sold into prostitution, now that’s funny. Being ironic “rushbaby” is funny! Get over it!

      • rushbaby

        I just like dogs.

  32. The Hoss
    The Hoss02-16-2012

    Good show, but still recovering from the DAG headache with camping, scotch, and “It’s a Wonderful Life” on my Ipod. Old hockey highlights, intermittently. UGGHHH. But seriously, no more DAG for me.

    • Cyrus

      So don’t listen to DAG episodes. I know that’s an INCREDIBLY difficult and complex concept to comprehend and actuate into reality…but how about you give it a shot?

  33. Katie

    What did I do on my break at work today? Created the logo to “The Flaming Pekingese” gay bar. You’re welcome.


    • May Kadoodee
      May Kadoodee02-16-2012


    • Cyrus


  34. Poochie's Uncle
    Poochie's Uncle02-16-2012

    The Schmoes guy sounds like Dr. Spaz.

    • May Kadoodee
      May Kadoodee02-16-2012

      I always thought the big guy had the deeper voice, I was surprised, you wearing your ball sling? be careful when sitting down, okay? 🙂

      • Poochie's Uncle
        Poochie's Uncle02-17-2012

        The Sack Rack saved my life.

  35. Tracy

    You’re all wrong. The worst episode is any time DAG shows up.

  36. Dick Face
    Dick Face02-16-2012

    WOW, Adam…sometimes the anti-Mexican-Hispanic stuff leaves me reeling but then I remember you are us, the 16.3 percent, the outcast, the shunned, the hated and the minority…then I sit back with a smile on my face knowing that I am listening to my brother!, so continue please I need to be entertained…

  37. Ms. Vee
    Ms. Vee02-16-2012

    Is no one going to comment on the fact that the guest is wearing a Journey shirt? Ace has trumpeted his hate for that band (I happen to love them) far and wide.

  38. chuckiegorman

    25 minutes about Adam putting his kids to bed?

  39. Rick

    Hmm, would have liked to see a mention of “The Big Year”. I guess it wasn’t the best movie I’ve seen all year, but definately better than some mentioned.

  40. chu

    at 40 mins..

    best question Alison has ever asked..

  41. jason

    A douche is one thing & a nerd is another, but the elusive douche-nerd is far too awful for any one podcast to broadcast. Please stop having this uninteresting shithead on your show. No really, please stop.

  42. Kelly

    Very hard to listen to. Especially the burning dog contest. How long until some idiot tries it? We know Adam really loves dogs (at least big dogs). But, we don’t need to give the insane ideas.

  43. Dean

    This episode reminds me of an idea I had a long time ago…California should trade say 2 million Mexicans to New England for 1 million Italians. Its a win win, you’d be able to get some decent Mexican food on the east coast and some low cost babysitting and yard work and Californians get a slightly better pizza (generally). That said, you can’t get good Mexican food on the east coast…very true…but the whole deal with pizza is kind of bull…best pizza I’ve ever had is in Los Angeles (Bossa Nova)

  44. Amir

    Bryan needs to come up with a mashup of Whoopi Goldberg, Danny Bonaducci and Nic Cage’s voices.

  45. Dean

    anything other than DAG

  46. Robert GWhiz
    Robert GWhiz02-17-2012

    “I wish IIIIIIIIIII could play the the ‘great story’ drop.” Ha ha ha ha…fuck. Alison tearing it up.

  47. Just Ed
    Just Ed02-19-2012

    Over/under on the age Natalia enters rehab for the FIRST time: 8 1/2

  48. Just Ed
    Just Ed02-19-2012

    Casino was Good Fellas set in Vegas, you fucking retard. Carolla, I know you lose your mind when you are in mid-rant, but to mention Good Fellas and Casino consecutively when bitching about how movie ideas are rehashed is equally on par with your rant on how it pisses you off that cultures celebrate their differences while you promote your San Gennaro festival. Stick with the comedy dumbshit.

  49. chuckiegorman

    Villaraigosa is a complete and total idiot, but he never called himself “Tony Villar.” He’s always been Antonio. He was born Antonio Villar, not Tony Villar. Please make a note of this and stop spreading misinformation.
    The “Tony Villar” thing is a meme perpetuated by the John and Ken Show. You might recognize those names as the two broadcasters who were suspended recently for distasteful comments about Whitney Houston. Not the best place to go for reliable information.

  50. Arnie

    The dog comments were horrific. You should be ashamed of yourself. I’m done.

  51. Mike


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