Nick Santora


Listen to the Adam Carolla Podcast  


Show Summary

Adam opens the show thanking all the fans for helping us win the iTunes Facebook contest. He also talks about his kids chastising him for saying ‘stupid’, and rants about ridiculous kids’ books. Bald Bryan mentions that today is the three-year anniversary of his initial diagnosis, even though he was originally told he had less than a year. In the news, Connecticut is dropping the death penalty, and Adam goes on a long rant about when he thinks it should be implemented. The guys also chat about Molly Ringwald, and Adam’s dad’s house.

Nick Santora joins the podcast next, and he and Adam recall their initial meeting over breakfast. The guys talk about how they hate waste, and joke about doing a wife swap. Nick also talks about his journey from being a miserable lawyer to becoming a screenwriter. Next up, the gang plays a round of Made Up Movie.

In the rest of the news, the first story is about Jimmy Kimmel claiming that Adam made up the cupcake detail of his Tom Cruise story. Nick assures everyone that it’s true, and recalls an overly friendly exchange with Cruise later in the night. The guys also talk about a NY prep school not allowing students to reveal where they’re going to college, lest they make other students jealous. As the show wraps up, the guys discuss the most relaxing song ever, and Adam rants about smoke detectors.


Visit http://NickSantora.com, and follow him on Twitter @NickSantora.

Show Credits

Producer: Mike Lynch
Producer: Mike Dawson
Audio/Voice Over/Post-Production: Mike Dawson
Newsgirl: Alison Rosen
Sound Effects: Bryan Bishop
Associate Producer: Gary Smith
Technical Director: Chris Laxamana
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Image Gallery

  1. Togabot

    Why does Adam always get disrespected in the comedy world. Everyone was saying no one had a chance against Marc Maron in that Itunes poll which is ridiculous. Its like they dont even consider Adam.

    But who gives a shit I guess when you get double the votes of your competition. GET IT ON!

    • Jurgen

      Marc Maron is so self hating and miserable listening to him is like cutting your wrists in a bath of Teresa’s tears.

  2. Katie


    Great show! Can’t wait to see the live show on Saturday!

    BTW thank you so much for all my blog visitors! I’m going to be better about posting 😉


    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle04-27-2012

      What did Cinderella the dolphin where to the ball?
      Glass flippers!

      • Katie

        I lol’d at work. Thank you for that delightful oun

    • Chris

      LOL. I love the cartoons. Just dynamite. Keep up the great work!

    • Kain

      Love your art Kaite ;j

  3. Ernie

    Pretty soon Adam will be writing (or dictating) kid’s books.

  4. MG

    Katie, very funny stuff. Thanks!

  5. Tim

    I wonder what Adam thinks of children’s books? He never talks about it.

    • cg

      I’m so tired of these “Oh golly he’s repeating himself” comments.

      Try cranking out daily podcasts lasting 1.5 hours or more over a period of years without recycling. I came to the party late … about middle of last year … so even though I’m now hearing some repetition, I was initially glad for it. There’s a bedrock of experiences and beliefs that are (a) fucking hilarious, and (b) good for newcomers to hear so they understand the club.

      Repeating opinions, especially when you make it funnier or even a little different in its presentation each time, shows consistency (rare these days) and talent. If he were simply repeating the same joke day after day, this wouldn’t be the most successful podcast venture in history.

      In short, sheddep.

      • Piss

        Agreed, cg

      • rob

        well said. may my dog bite my nutsack if i complain about a free podcast

      • donewithidiots

        @cg, Agreed. I may not agree with everything Ace says, but QUITE a lot of it. These www critics are irritating. I’d bet that some of trumps peeps are hard at work with some of the criticisms.

      • Ryan II
        Ryan II04-28-2012

        “stupid people love repetition.”–Adam Carolla… “macaroni and cheese”

    • Zapoli

      OK, Mo Willems is not a failed novelist. Is being an aggressively ignorant lunatic part of Adam’s shtick now?

      • Dave

        Wholeheartedly agree. Mo Willems Knuffle Bunny series, which won a caldecott award, is one of the best children’s trilogies that I have read. The illustrations are creative and the story is touching, especially Knuffle Bunny Free. Mo’s pigeion series is also excellent. The Piggie and Gerald books are the best but do teach kids to read and are leaps and bounds better than the BOB books or that horrible dog, Biscuit. Viva Mo!

  6. david

    I miss Donny and Drew’s weed fights.

  7. Beerafide

    Sounds like the start of a Carolla, Kimmel fued.
    Get it on!

  8. Bobman

    Adam’s such an architecture lover -isn’t that house a cape, not an A-frame? An A-frame has basically the roof slope all the way down to the ground. A cape is… well, what his dad’s house was / is.

  9. anthony in Ireland
    anthony in Ireland04-27-2012

    please please bring back the week in rage for the podcast , hasnt been done since Dana Gould was in the studio. I don’t get to hear the one he does on radio over here in Ireland

  10. Matt Mitchell
    Matt Mitchell04-27-2012

    I love it when Adam hammers someone about not being a legit writer/author. This is the same dude who self admittedly can’t read and lays on the floor and tells someone else what he is thinking and gets paid. What the F am I doing doing wrong. Great stuff Ace man.

    • cg

      You’re talking about the self-deprecating humor from the best-selling author, correct?

  11. Ryan II
    Ryan II04-27-2012

    15 digits? About: an amputee, missing digit on a credit card form, phone number and a half?

    10 minutes ripping childrens books for being simple and not 30 seconds of description as to what this book is about. I’ll go and burn all of my kid’s books since they are below my reading level. Here you go 4 year old son, it’s called”The Charm School” by Nelson DeMille. It’s 800 pages of thrilling reading about Cold War Russia and a kidnapped American. When you finish it, you are going to NFL combines, you don’t need pee wee league, I’m 31 for fuck’s sake.

  12. StarryEyed

    Pictures with the Ace Broadcasting in the back look much cleaner and much nicer! Nice job.

  13. Connard

    Really? The originator of The Sopranos is in studio and all Ace wants to talk about is fucking smoke detectors? Hmmmmm. Ace prides himself on having a heightened sense of awareness, the way he conducts his interviews does not support this claim of hypervigilance.

    • cg

      If you want someone who sticks to a predictable script and asks loaded questions to trigger a lame joke or scripted response because the pre-interview told you to instead of having a conversation, there are other places for you to go. Carolla built this audience by refusing to stick to that format.

      Try “The View”.

  14. awildermode

    My first name is Manson. I fucking hate it!

  15. Sy

    Nick Santora was cool. He sounds like Seth MacFarlane.

  16. Lara

    Adam, when your kids are in Kindergarten/1st grade you will see that kids learn to read by having the words on the page match the pictures, and that repetition aids in this process. Oh, Alison just said that. HA! Adam, your blood pressure will thank you if you ever accept that some people know what they are doing, even if you don’t understand it. You know a lot of things…but the best way to educate kids is not one of them. You should trust some people…some of the time.

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle04-27-2012

      Adam doesn’t read.

    • JPat

      Yeah, what she said.

  17. JessMan

    love ya baldy b!

  18. Nick

    How the heck does Nick Santora know so much about minor league hockey in the praries of Canada?! Saskatoon Blades!

  19. JessMan

    gilbert gottfrieD, not godfree

  20. RoyalDryness

    Congrats to Bald Bryan on making it to his 3 year anniversary. I hope you have 3 more decades.

  21. Bo B
    Bo B04-27-2012

    Congrats Bryan! I’m glad your still with us buddy.

  22. Bo B
    Bo B04-27-2012

    Now, BB start dropping more of that fake Leykis laugh, I don’t know why, it cracks me up.

  23. Angel

    Thank you, Adam for re-telling the Tom Cruise story; it’s my favorite!

  24. Juicefactory3000

    No less than 100 different celebrities and/or their wives or husbands ‘write childrens’ books’ now. They call themselves ‘authors’ too. a local college girl made the front page having already published her first children’s book. At a recent art showing, not on, not two but three! Three self-satisfied ‘children’s book authors’ were in a room at the same time with the same airs of importance around each other. a recent high-school year book had no less than 20 students listing their career goals as ‘to write children’s book’. The world needs another 30,000 children’s books every 4 months? The time has come to start punching ‘children’s book authors’ square in the face. With contempt!

  25. CACAHD

    Bald Bryan, congratulations! (Where’s the drop of the whistle from the cardboard box?)

  26. moeman99

    No more made up movies please…it’s not funny.

  27. Anal Ripper
    Anal Ripper04-27-2012

    Thank you for this episode of children’s book talk hour with Adam Carolla.

  28. Mike P
    Mike P04-27-2012

    Mo Willems made Sheep in the Big City, he can draw all the crappy illustrated books he wants after that.

    Funny thing is the last time Adam was complaining about kids books he mentioned he should write a book called Dinosaur Train for Sonny combining his two childhood loves. That was pretty funny, but then at the grocery store I saw a children’s book literally titled “Dinosaur Train”.


    They must be raking it in.

  29. Lloyd

    Bryan! Awesome news buddy, it sure does not feel like 3 years. You sound so much better than you have in the past 2 years. Your wit and speed with the drops adds so much to the show.

    I also love you and Anderson on the film vault. Keep up the great work, we are so happy that you are alive!

  30. mnoswad1

    Beth Ringwald is definitely a bit of alright.


  31. levi sheppard
    levi sheppard04-27-2012

    People shit on Adam because he tells it like it is. People tend to dislike people that tell the truth, they are much more comfortable lying to themselves. I am going to write a children’s book about real stuff here’s
    the titles:

    1. Why you get bullied (message to kids: stop being a puss)
    2. The thing billy said to make him get beat up (message to kids: be prepared to shut up or back it up)
    3. Everyone dies it’s normal. (message to kids: explaining how death is normal)
    4. I’m not good at everything (message to kids: It’s ok not to be the winner of everything)

    etc this can go for ever. I can’t write worth shit but I can draw and anyone can write one of these.

  32. BEATnick

    cant believe its been so long, bryan. beat that cancer, brother!

  33. Jim

    Put a DOME on it bitch!!

  34. Craig

    It’s too bad they can’t fry that Anders Brevic. Just seeing that smug non-remorseful smirk on his face, you know he’s going take advantage of they’re pussy justice system. He’s going to publish from jail and encourage followers.

  35. donewithidiots

    Prison guards in california get paid DECENTLY due to the murderous gang infested environment they signed up to work in. The conditions in the lib dominated cali prisons aren’t as safe as the ones in more conservatively controlled states. Like Ace said, the Manson family is siring kids. Those prisons are horribly over crowded and in the shitty job market, many are basically forced to work in those places so they can feed their kids and live in decent areas so they don’t run into inmate families quite so much. Can’t begrudge a wage to those guys. They COULD cut corners with the food budget, since they do get top of the line meals. Or the endless appeals they enjoy. I agree, get rid of the real bad ones. Paroling those guys regularly is one thing that’s made your state so fucked up.

  36. Gabe

    Wasn’t Will Sasso on the day before?

  37. Norm Walker
    Norm Walker04-29-2012

    I think Adam should write a childrens book. He might have his next book deal. He could have the guy that did Rich Man Poor Man do the artwork.

  38. Zach

    This guy Nick Santora was a great guest. He made me laugh pretty hard and he is funnier than most of the “comedians” they have on the show. Definetely should have him back on

  39. Jeanette

    Congrats, Bald Bryan! You rock.

  40. security

    Fuck yeah Bryan! Congrats.

  41. JPat

    Psst. Adam. Children’s books aren’t supposed to hold the interest of or entertain adults. That’s why they’re called “children’s” books. They entertain children. Give this one up.

  42. JPat

    BB, so glad you didn’t die!!

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