Harland Williams and Rich Eisen


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Show Summary

At the top of the show, Adam takes a call from Rich Eisen. The guys talk about the recent touchdown debacle in the NFL, and what the refs should have done. Adam also shares his unique view of how play reviews should be handled in the future. Adam then gives updates on his Dad’s health, rants about a dirty water fountain he came across, and explains what it all means for society.

Next up, Adam welcomes Harland Williams back to the show. They talk about Harland’s MMA parties, and Adam tries to get him to do more bird noises. Harland then asks Adam about his recent appearances on Bill O’Reilly’s show, and the guys complain about the power of Hi-Def television. Adam also rants about the corrective helmet that the doctors wanted to Sonny to wear. As the show wraps up, Alison reads a news story about the morning after pill being available to students at certain public high schools.


Subscribe to The Harland Highway on iTunes, and visit the App store to get ‘Har Land’. For more, visit http://HarlandWilliams.com, or follow him on Twitter @HarlandWilliams.

And don’t forget to subscribe to The Rich Eisen Podcast on iTunes. You can get more information at http://RichEisen.NFL.com, or follow him on Twitter @RichEisen.

Superfan Sidebar

Click Here for Superfan Giovanni’s recap and commentary on today’s episode.
For more, go to AdamCarolla.com/Gio.

Show Credits

Producer: Mike Lynch
Producer: Mike Dawson
Audio/Voice Over/Post-Production: Mike Dawson
Newsgirl: Alison Rosen
Sound Effects: Bryan Bishop
Associate Producer: Gary Smith
Technical Director: Chris Laxamana
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Image Gallery

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  1. Silent Running
    Silent Running09-26-2012

    “Fox News Contributor”

    Hoo boy, some folks ’round these parts ain’t gonna like that.

    • jibbajabba

      Sarah Palin is also a “Fox News Contributor”. Not much of a distinction.

    • Bobby

      what does that say about them that they’d let affiliation with a center-right news outlet sway their opinion of somebody they’ve come to respect enough to listen to? That’s a mark of a weak minded group thinker IMHO.

      • david

        Center-right? lulz

      • Adam Fans Are Idiots
        Adam Fans Are Idiots09-27-2012

        Far off the map right you idiot.

        • Murph

          Exactly, because NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, and CNN are the exact “center,” which is why Fox is so far “right”? I love how left-wingers always seem to think that their views are the “center” and “mainstream.” I guess that’s why Fox News shows always DOMINATE in terms of total viewership…because they are so far outside of the “mainstream”….?

    • Hugh Gashol
      Hugh Gashol09-26-2012

      GET IT ON !

      • Hugh Gashol
        Hugh Gashol09-26-2012

        You”ve been hacked.

    • Why Why Why
      Why Why Why09-27-2012

      …..more offended by “Hoo Boy” .
      What language is that? Drunk Hick? or “Trailer Park Meth Addict”?

      • bubbles

        I believe it’s dialect of hack-comedian…

        His bit about angry birds in the park sounded like something he bought from Bill Dwyer, and that’s not a good thing.

        Should’ve just stuck with Eisen.

  2. urinal slash sink
    urinal slash sink09-26-2012

    What’s going on with your father almost died last month

    again update us old man Corolla randomly 2mins at the end of a show a six months from now? Right Old Man Carolla

    • UnBald Brian
      UnBald Brian09-26-2012

      He did. listen up you little puke!

    • R

      Uh, dude, this month he’s mentioned his dad’s situation at least five times, and that includes today’s podcast.

  3. David

    Oooff..I wonder if there’ll be bird sounds. Look, if the option is Harlan, just do the show without a guest.

    • David

      He was actually really funny today, and refused to bird. When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong.

    • Chuck

      Two of my favorite guests in one show–looking forward to listening to this one

  4. Mister Lister
    Mister Lister09-26-2012

    my mood improved 50fold when i saw who was going to be in my headphones this morning!

  5. jeff

    I once took a dump in a drinking fountain at the police station. I heard someone coming and had to pinch it off and it did get a bit messy in my shorts. TOTALLY WORTH IT

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle09-26-2012

      That was you?

  6. Chad

    Harland was so funny.. I laughed out loud while listening at work a few times.. when he started talking about face braces I lost it!

  7. Tony from DC
    Tony from DC09-26-2012

    Best drop of the month: Bryan plays the sax riff from Pulp Fiction when Adam suggests using the Gimp to decide NFL booth reviews

    • Col. Duke Lacrosse
      Col. Duke Lacrosse09-29-2012

      Hells yeah! I totally lost it at that part! XD

  8. Admiral Kent
    Admiral Kent09-26-2012

    One may posit that Gestalt principles of form perception are contributing to Adam’s bizarre physical appearance on O’Reilly (and in general): The Law of Closure describes our tendency to visually fill in pieces of objects or outlines that are not, in fact, complete (or are broken up). So when we view Adam’s pre-Bond Connery-like eyebrows under stark studio lighting conditions (or any other lighting condition, for that matter), our visual cortex tends to fill in the conspicuous gap above his nose, thus synoptically reforming the renowned Corolla unibrow…despite its surgical removal. The fact that Adam’s parents most likely refused to encourage the wearing of his own corrective helmet during adolescence doesn’t help his appearance either!

    • paddym

      cool story, bro

    • Mo

      You’re a douche.

      • Admiral Kent
        Admiral Kent09-27-2012

        Thank you.

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle09-26-2012

      Adam looks like Pink Floyd’s Mother.

  9. Admiral Kent
    Admiral Kent09-26-2012

    Also…Can we get Harland and Ray on the same episode?

    • Rayland

      I was thinking about that. They’re my two favorite guests, if you count Ray as being a guest, because they irritate Adam and his responses are very amusing.

      • Admiral Kent
        Admiral Kent09-27-2012

        I think Adam’s head would explode.

  10. Dick Face
    Dick Face09-26-2012

    Yay it’s Harland! you and long lost Andy Dick are my favorite Carolla guest.

  11. dave

    Dude, trust the doctors! I can see from the photo that your boy needed the helmet. One of my friends had a little girl that had to have one too – it works! It’s critical to do while their little skulls are still SOFT. You would still love your kid even if his head was bent like a freaking squash – trust the doctors. He was probably squished in the belly (having to share that small space with his sister).


    • Bill

      Eh, looks fine to me.

      Btw, adam’s rant on the uprights in football… so true. Did he even mention the Pats-Ravens game? Perfect case in pt. there.

  12. sloozen1

    I have come up with stopping ppl tagging everything in LA. Hire a crew of snippers who wear black at night and dress as homeless in the day. These snippers are armed with tranquilizer guns. These snippers armed also with cameras for legal purposes find graffittii fuckers, tape them and then put them to sleep with a flurry of darts. And what happens when they wake up?? They wake up without testicles. Oh they have small rubber balls where there balls are but no testicles.

    • Robert

      Snipper would have scissors. I think you mean snipers.

      • Zapoli

        Did you read the part about the balls?

        Snipe, snap, and snip … It’s the law.

      • Haggis


      • Murph


        I think he meant snipers, too, but snippers actually works!

  13. Justin

    Great show.

    You should have Mike Rowe on.

  14. Why Why Why
    Why Why Why09-26-2012

    Harland is always awesome on the show.

  15. paddym

    Harland is a terrible fucking guest. Is he that insecure that he has to step on every one of Adam’s funny lines? I don’t know whose cock he sucked to get famous. Please stop having him on.

    • J

      Agreed. Harland’s jokes were terrible. Every one of them fell flat. “How about leaving the jokes to Adam.”

    • Steve Hatchett
      Steve Hatchett09-26-2012


  16. Nate

    ACE, get the F*** OFF Fox Noise!

    Awesome show. ACE was on his game and Harland is always a joy.

    • Right Wing Nut
      Right Wing Nut09-27-2012

      Why, so he can go on the Communist News Network

  17. Robey

    As a person who is known to enjoy a dip of the cope from time to time, I have NEVER put a spent lipper in the drinking fountian. Just because I enjoy a cope does not mean that everyone else has to. What the hell is wrong with people!!!!!!!

    On the baseball field is the only place where you’re allowed to ditch your lipper on the field. Not the dugout floor, not the drinking fountain, not on the bench. Someone needs to be cained for dumping their spent cope in a hospital fountain. Ick!

  18. JessMan

    pavement-pounders represent!

  19. big jim
    big jim09-26-2012

    Jaysis, that water fountain is horrific! Even if homeless guys were using it to wash up, I’d expect it to be cleaner.

    Just goes to show my old motto of never going to the hospital leads to a healthy, happy life!

  20. bill

    I get the feeling that’s the last time Harland’s going to be on

  21. Jll M.
    Jll M.09-26-2012

    This grey background is terrible. It is hard to read the comments.

  22. Jll M.
    Jll M.09-26-2012

    And fuck all you guys that don’t like Harland. He is awesome.

  23. guy

    harland reminds me of a gay slingblade…..but gayer….

  24. LouE

    I miss Dr Spaz. He’s not been on lately.

  25. Mr Writing III
    Mr Writing III09-26-2012

    Guests like that make me think comedy isn’t really that tough.

    • R

      If you’re going to call yourself Mr Writing III, at least learn to get the fucking tense right!

  26. jpmoneypants

    I actually had to defend a mans looks last night when my wife told me “he (Adam) looks like a monster”. He does look terrible on Fox, but looked fine on the celebrity apprentice.

  27. mike

    Harland came out swinging .He had me laughing maniacally and he made alison squeal which I love …I think the headbraces are needed.The reason you never saw them growing up is because it’s new technology…you don’t want your kid to have a peanut head…

  28. mike

    They need to put birth control in trailer propane tanks,grape soda,and refried beans…..and in green tea to stop all those hollywood broads from crapping out kids like hotcakes with various hipster geeks….

  29. Gabriel

    Anyone who doesn’t like Harland has no soul.

    Harland had me laughing more than any of the other guests they’ve had on recently.

    • Biff

      Harland gets the flow of the show. And Adam ain’t that ugly. For a retarded Sampras.

  30. smeghed

    plz plz plz NFL
    hire the Aceman

  31. Jack Silver
    Jack Silver09-26-2012

    i cant hang w/ Harland’s way too immature humor.

  32. JD

    I needs a Larry Miller update!

  33. AndrewH

    Love the show! Would love to see the addition of an online Soundboard featuring all of the show’s famous sounds. Thanks again for an awesome way to cope with my 1 1/2 hr Commute to Atlanta.

  34. Ken

    Adam is complaining to a guy thats employed by the NFL!
    Rich is cool but he isnt going to rock the boat!

    The NFL has an element of being staged to me.
    Too many subjective rules and penalties
    Adam was on the something when he said the rules are different in the last 2 mins (ie NBA)

    I always found it odd that these historic last drives are always penalty free when flags were flying for three and a half quarters

  35. Rex Montana
    Rex Montana09-26-2012

    Fox News over saturates colors on their feed, so a white face and dark hair wearing a black suit with a white shirt against a purple background while sporting Muppet eyebrows looks funny, like a girdle infomercial.

    Other people have mentioned this, and I think they’re right.

  36. zeppo

    the irony is that adam’s kids DO need head braces. they have salamander eyes that Harland joked about

    • Ken1

      Kids change dramatically and are blessed/cursed with their parents and grandparents genes.

      Looking at the photo of Adam – his dad – his son and Ray, you can see the family resemblance. You can also see Lynette’s facial feature’s also.

      The kids will probably end up looking more like their Mother.

      Not cool to not acknowledge that we all go through “stages” that may look odd – but then work themselves out.

      My daughter had facial features like me (her Dad) until ten years of age – and then she transformed into her Mother / Grandmother’ s facial features when they were young.

      You really do not want “normal – adult looking” kids , because they usually look bizarre when they get older.

      Peace Out

  37. jorm_valadez

    It’s true, I’ve seen a couple of vids on youtube and Adam looks absolutely hideous. Btw, how come the cast won’t play in a new window? I’m using FF.

  38. 3rd Mijo
    3rd Mijo09-27-2012

    Funniest quote by Adam a couple “Harlands” ago: It must be nice to not make sense and still be funny. LOL

    BTW how tall is Harland anyway? He looks to be like 6’5″ judging from that picture, which is odd and alarming to me

  39. phil landers
    phil landers09-27-2012

    Yeah, l often chuckle the same time Alison does a laugh/squeal or muted snort. She knows the funny bits that’s for sure.

  40. SamuelJH

    Thank you Adam Carolla, Harland Williams, Rich Eisen, supporting cast and crew.

  41. Eric

    Harland is actually funny compared to a lot of guest.

  42. L Fisch
    L Fisch09-27-2012

    Yeah, I strongly disagree every time Adam starts going on with his eugenics stuff, but I’m not going to be dick about it. Take that, internet commenters.

  43. Grendel Jones
    Grendel Jones09-27-2012

    Well if nothing else Harland looks gooooooood.

    I too did a double take when Adam was on O’F. First the lofty title and second the warmed over corpse effect. All he needed was some stick-on neck bolts and voila! Illusion complete. O’Reilly is not a looker himself so the show is probably lit to make Mr O’ as flattering as possible and to hell with rest of you. Plus the camera angle is head-on for guests which flattens them out while Mr O’ gets a slight diagonal which gives him dimension. I guess thems the perks of being the host.

    Adam could use this lighting controversy to sell some of those LED bulbs he uses in the studio. He looks just fine in his studio under the LEDs.

  44. LOBO

    ALWAYS love when HW comes on, but this episode was particularly awesome. I kept rewinding it a few seconds going, “What did he say? I can’t BELIEVE he said that …” When he admitted to infesting his ManGrate with roaches, he follows it up with, “so I mailed it to Florida” in an effort to rescue the ad … OMG I picture Adam just completely losing his mind “off air” at everyone.

    LOVED the show. Thanks guys!


  45. Weak

    Oh no, not more Harland Williams. Why persist with such a terrible guest? Who’s next? More Bai Ling?

    Awful awful work by August.

  46. Yossarian

    Harland is an annoying moron who has NEVER been funny. I’m not even listening to this one. PLEASE, bring in Porcelain Punisher, Ray, a stranger off the sidewalk, or no one. Fucking hate HW!!

  47. John Blaizely
    John Blaizely09-29-2012

    Oh God, No….. Natalia has Adam’s nose.

    BTW He was looking especially ugly on O’Reilly. Really amping up the ugly old white guy factor with that visit.

    What did the Great Greg Giraldo say? “Adam looks like Pete Sampras’s retarded cousin”

    • bubbles

      technically it was “…like Pete Sampras with down syndrome”

  48. Luis

    Harland is already fugly. Whay would he want to make himself even fuglier with that face?

  49. Harry Seward
    Harry Seward09-29-2012

    Why no bird calls? Why?

  50. AguaMan

    Pull-ups @ 6 years old? Huh? I was toilet trained @ 2. Is this the standard today? I wonder if Harland wears pull-ups and a helmet?

    • JPat

      A doctor should tell Lynnette that it’s not normal for 6-year-olds to pee their bed & need to wear pull ups.

  51. Elle

    What about the EGREGIOUSLY bad call of PI on the Seahawks that gave the [fudge] Packers that TD?! OR the HORRIBLE call where baby-punching, cry-baby Aaron Rodgers CLEARLY did not have a first down?!! What about that?! OH NO! It’s Seattle so NO ONE brings up those awful calls!

    Adam, do you not know ANYONE whose glasses fit wrong? I do! No one is symmetrical, and a lot of people’s sunglasses fit oddly. I can’t figure out if it’s my eyebrows or ears that are uneven, but my sunglasses always look uneven on my face. We all grew up with misshapen heads, no big deal!!

  52. JPat

    How the F did Adam marry a woman with absolutely no common sense or work ethic?!

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