Greg Fitzsimmons


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Show Summary

At the top of the show, Adam praises the delicious Mangria and talks about a couple of local police brutality stories. Greg Fitzsimmons is also in studio, and chats with Adam about his upcoming one-hour comedy special. The guys then discuss a story from Forbes about the benefit of private contractors for airport screenings, and Adam rants about how many of the world’s issues would be settled by having less children. Later the guys give away an iPad to the tweeter with the worst co-worker.

Alison begins the news by discussing the teacher’s strike in Chicago and all the students who are currently out of class. Adam gives some updates on his dad, and also talks about a disagreement he had with a hot nurse. Next up, the guys talk about a dispute over gay marriage in the NFL, and the show wraps up with a discussion about old school racism and celebrity bra sizes.


Visit http://FitzDog.com and get your tickets to see the taping of Greg’s One Hour Special in Tarrytown, New York. Don’t forget to use the promo code FITZDOG to get a discount.

Also be sure to subscribe on iTunes to FitzDog Radio.


Police Brutality 1

Police Brutality 2

Superfan Sidebar

Click Here for Superfan Giovanni’s recap and commentary on today’s episode.
For more, go to AdamCarolla.com/Gio.

Show Credits

Producer: Mike Lynch
Producer: Mike Dawson
Audio/Voice Over/Post-Production: Mike Dawson
Newsgirl: Alison Rosen
Sound Effects: Bryan Bishop
Associate Producer: Gary Smith
Technical Director: Chris Laxamana
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Image Gallery

  1. Tim

    GET IT ON!

    • Rick

      Great show, love the Fitzdog.

      Adam, you need a pop filter for your mic. Puh..puh…pu pu pu …puh pupupupuh PUH!!!

  2. Justin O
    Justin O09-10-2012

    Does anyone know if the song used to introduce Ray’s home impRovement segment is a based on another song?

    also, I noticed The Hammer was at 75% on Rotten Tomatoes. Doesn’t that make it “certified fresh”?

    Thanks for the great show Adam, Alison, and Bryan. Get it on!

    • david

      As far as we know, it’s an original song written by one of Ray’s pals. It’s not really the song for Ray’s segment, it’s the themesong for the Ace on the House podcast (which is excellent, better than the ACP, you should try it.) If it’s based on another song, I don’t think anyone’s made a connection yet.

      • Justin

        Thanks, David. I appreciate your knowledge. I am a long time listener to the ACP but haven’t listened to Ace on the House. I will definitely check it out. Thanks again for answering my question.

    • Charles

      I think ray’s friend wrote an recorded that song for the show.

  3. Justin O
    Justin O09-10-2012

    Hello all. Is there anyone that knows if the song played to introduce Ray’s home impRovement segment is a based on another song?

    also, I noticed The Hammer was at 75% on Rotten Tomatoes. Doesn’t that make it “certified fresh”?

    Thanks for the great show Adam, Alison, and Bryan. Get it on!

    • Frenchroast

      Let’s get The Hammer on Netflix too!

    • Scott

      It needs 40 critic reviews and 75% to be certified fresh.

  4. Fitzdog

    FINALLY . . . Someone that’s not in the usual cycle of rotating guests. Can’t wait to listen.
    PS: Please have Bill Burr on again!

    • Fitzfan

      Fitzfan approves Fitzdog’s approval of Fitzdog on the show and seconds to have more Bill Burr.

    • Lyman DYKE
      Lyman DYKE09-11-2012

      If you close your eyes Fitz and Sheck are sound almost like the same guy

      • UnBald Brian
        UnBald Brian09-11-2012

        Fitz is so much more tolerable than Shek. Way more funny too.

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle09-11-2012

      Greg Fitzsimmons is the poor man’s Bill Burr.

  5. zero1media

    Get it on! Fitz-dog is finally back on the show. He really should be a regular; maybe replace unfunny, uninteresting David Wild?

    • Cameron


    • Novak

      Confession: I always skip through the David Wild/Adam Carolla here’s our awesome songs part! NOT INTERESTED! Love the show though! 🙂

    • Col. Duke Lacrosse
      Col. Duke Lacrosse09-22-2012

      Hell yeah! Though I don’t like this Fitz dude so much, it would be WAY better listening to his difference of opinion from Adam than that boring-ass david wild and his shitty music!

  6. Melzok

    Very good show today.

  7. Jason

    Please, what is the status of Jim? You gotta update us daily on this Adam, I was tearing up listening on the road the other day.

  8. chris

    IV nutrition would only be used for super short term or if something is wrong with the GI system.

    More complications result cause of IV compared to using and NG tube plus the NG tube keeps the digestive system active so when the tubes are actually removed the GI system will still be working properly.

    When removing the intubation there is a decent chance that he will have to be placed back on the breathing machine (ie need to intubated him again) so they have to wait until the swelling goes down.

    But then again the longer you stated on breathing machines the harder it is to get off of them and breathe normally.

  9. Juicefestival300

    Can’t wait to find out what radical anti-religious anti-conservative left-wing hate he will spew this time. Usually finds a way to get in some anti-catholic bashing too.
    Question: To the 50 or so stand-up comedians and comic actors etc who denounced Roman Catholicism, married left-wing liberal Jewish girls and become liberal atheists… is that paying off for you?
    I mean are you really getting that big movie yet or when does that pay off or how?

    • Gregers

      In the “tampering, disabling, or destroying” category… once we have anti-religious, we don’t need anti-catholic.

    • Mark

      Are you talking about Carolla or Fitz?

    • Late Night North
      Late Night North09-11-2012

      Definitely anti-catholic bigotry is acceptable as is a hate on for the white working class in his leftist playbook. It’s also pretty rich coming from such a white guy in an overly protected lily-white entertainment industry. Wonder how many times he’s given up a headline gig to an asian , hispanic or hindu comic? Really feeling the cognitive-dissonance here.

      • Juicefestival300

        What adds more to the dissonance is that Fitz (like Burr and others) will spend half the time viciously denouncing roman catholicism, going off how they outgrew it and how stupid religion is etc etc.. but when convenient want to call themselves Roman Catholic. Or identify themselves as good ole working class Irish RCs.
        Well, no, you are an enemy of that now guys. You denounced, defiled and oppose it. Call yourselves Hollywood ‘agnostic jews’ or whatever you really are. You aren’t one of us anymore. You shlt on us and badmouth us.

    • Joel

      Nice call. Someone tell Fitz to take that left-wing, hate-the-rich, “why do you need so much wealth” bullshit and cram it up his ass. Dude gets to spout off and he doesn’t know shit about wealth creation or how an economy works. No way in hell I’m going to see his show.

  10. Kolak

    About a month ago, Alison closed by saying “Zip it, why don’t ya?” I thought that was comical in an Edward G Robinson sort of way,from an era before the C-word was in vogue. That gets my vote for the benign sign-off.

  11. drb123

    I used to not like Greg Fitzsimmons as a guest, but the last few appearances have turned me around. I like guest who can have a lively debate on politics and won’t just let Adam steamroll them. Alison and Bryan seem to sit on their hands during most of his political rant, so it’s great that someone he respects will call him out on his opinions and be entertaining about it

  12. Silent Running
    Silent Running09-11-2012

    Greg Fitzsimmons unwittingly reveals the logical conclusion to his hard-leftism: America, and ultimately the world, is just a vast corporation, with one subject/employee interchangeable with all others. Adam the Erstwhile Libertarian agrees.

    I doubt either would enjoy a future where the border is open to anyone willing to undersell their children for a job. Have a look at some of the countries where wages are low. They’re filled with people climbing over each other to come here.

  13. biglip

    Nice boob review. Kate and sofi win in my book

  14. Peter

    FitzDog, 49-50% of all Americans don’t pay any federal taxes. Saying that the average undocumented worker pays more in % than the average 1 percenter pays in % is shockingly stupid.

    • Silent Running
      Silent Running09-11-2012

      The medical costs alone put illegals on the Expense side of the ledger. Socially, establishing little enclaves where no one needs to learn English is profoundly divisive. Eventually they become colonies.

      I’ve known several guys just like Greg. He’s a fanatic, a true-believer, and he’d sooner give up his life than the hatred that drives him.

      • Late Night North
        Late Night North09-11-2012

        Truer words have not been spoken. Hurah!

  15. MC White
    MC White09-11-2012

    Thanks for the eye candy this morning Aceman. Tig ‘ol bitties, really get my motor running!

  16. kopema

    I haven’t listened to the podcast yet. But I like the heck out of that image gallery!

  17. cheflarz

    Fitz Dog is a DOUCHE BAG!

    • Brother P-Touch
      Brother P-Touch09-11-2012

      Someone remind me – when did people stop adding “dog” to their name and calling that their nickname? 1992? 1993?

      • MC White
        MC White09-12-2012

        So “Fitz Dog” is now a “douche dog?”

  18. Ninja

    “This has been a beautiful tribute for 9/11” – Alison.

    Utterly hilarious–I was seriously thinking the same thing….

  19. Adam

    Fitz was talking like a super high super liberal. yuck.

    • Phineas

      Always has, always will.

  20. Uncle Jerry
    Uncle Jerry09-11-2012

    Fitzdog.. the ultimate wanabe tough guy. I hope we get to hear the story about how he stoped a rape in college again. I have only heard that one 8 times.

  21. Admiral Kent
    Admiral Kent09-11-2012

    “When in doubt I go to the right.” Well…no shit.

  22. Pulseczar

    The Raiders need a long snapper. It’s time for Ace to try out again.

  23. JP

    Japanese people don’t “love turnips”, the phrase “nips” comes from their word for Japan, “Nippon”.

    • Crash

      It was a joke, dumbass.

      • MC White
        MC White09-12-2012

        Hmm, sounds like another misunderstood “Jesus goughed the elderly” joke again…

  24. Nature Boy Ric Flair
    Nature Boy Ric Flair09-11-2012

    Who is the chick coming out of the water?

    • Jon Putnam
      Jon Putnam09-11-2012

      Kate Upton. I feel a Hubba-Hubba could be in order.

      • Nature Boy Ric Flair
        Nature Boy Ric Flair09-13-2012


  25. chris

    The follow up to the oil companies making 6 cents (of profit) a gallon would be what do other industries make?

    How many cents of profit does McDonalds make for selling $3 worth of food?

    Or what about a pair of Nike’s


    • Brother P-Touch
      Brother P-Touch09-11-2012

      It’s a false equivalency. Assuming that the oil companies do make such razor thin margins on a gallon of gas (it should be noted that the number Prager is quoting comes directly from Exxon), comparing it to the taxes on a gallon of gas levied by the state depends on the premise that states make a profit on gas. Every cent of gas tax goes towards local, state and federal transportation and roads projects. Now, if the governor of CA made 40 million dollars a year like the average oil company CEO, then this would be a fabulously accurate comparison. But since he doesn’t, it’s a sad case of misdirection.

      • chris

        clearly the state does not make 66 cents a gallon. They have to pay for road, repairs, ect. Everyone with a brain understands that.

        Also the 40 million the oil company CEO makes is not relevant cause that is an expense so it would not be included in the 6 cent figure (this figure only counts for profits).

        My only question is what is an average % profit for a general product.

        • Brother P-Touch
          Brother P-Touch09-11-2012

          I was definitely talking about a separate point, but you are right – that should have read 4M and I was talking mainly about bonuses and other post-expense compensation that is tied to profits. And my main contention was with Mr Prager’s attempt to compare non-similar circumstances. But I digress….

          McDonald’s corporate profit margin is 19%. Nike’s corporate profit margin is 8.5%. Exxon’s profit margin is 12.5% but that’s across the entire corporation (not just refined gas).

        • Delta Fu
          Delta Fu09-19-2012

          This statement simply isn’t true: “Every cent of gas tax goes towards local, state and federal transportation and roads projects.” In California the government diverts most of the fuel taxes they collect to non-road, non-transportation projects. We’ve had several ballot initiatives passed by the people to force our government to ONLY spend fuel tax money on transportation and every time an initiative passes the government finds a “work around” to keep diverting fuel tax dollars to other programs.

  26. david

    Greg is such a good foil for Adam… he’s a liberal version, happy to be outspoken , tending towards realism.

  27. JessMan

    get TIT on

  28. LymonDike

    Is it me or does Fitz, Sheck, and Bill Burr
    All sound like the same guy??

    It reminds me of that family guy skit where they had Ray Ramano, Harold Ramis and Kermit the Frog arguing and sounding the same.

  29. MPG

    The 9/11 conspiracy morons have annoyed me since almost a few days after 9/11/01, actually.

    Uuuuhhhh…. So how exactly does one rig explosives in two of the world’s largest buildings without being spotted?
    Uuuuhhhh….. So crews of demolitions experts somehow surreptitiously planted bombs in the towers as they avoided the architecture crew and construction crews that were assembling them? “IIIIIIII’lll just put this here.” Also, during that entire 4 decade stretch no one who did routine repairs and upkeep in the buildings ever spotted massive explosives?

    (swear to god I’ve heard this when they’re flustered) “YOU WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT. THIS GUY WORKS FOR THE GOVERNMENT!”

    The morons have stamped out any sane, legitimate questions that people might have had about the event through their sheer lunacy. They have also dishonored the innocent people who died during that day.

    • Steve

      Whatever you do do NOT Google: Global Guardian, Vigilant Guardian, or Northern Vigilance. For god’s sakes!

    • RoyalDryness

      The problem with arguing with just about any conspiracy theory is that any evidence that disproves it is dismissed as just part of the conspiracy. It’s the same with the Obama birthers, when the certificate comes out it’s a fake, when independent analysis proves it’s authenticity well they are just on the take. And on and on. No matter the evidence there is always the argument that it is planted evidence.

  30. Jose

    Seeing Fitz and the Aceman together reminds me of the movie they’re both in, Division 3: Football’s Finest. Seriously funny movie. Check it out if you haven’t yet. Streaming free on Netflix.

  31. Mark

    Fitzdog bringing it today. If Adam and Greg teamed up and did a show every day it would blow away anything on the internet, radio or satellite.

  32. Steve Hatchett
    Steve Hatchett09-11-2012

    Pete Malloy and Jim Reed we miss you.

  33. snooch

    “Cops and criminals need to be told there is something called a video camera, and they are almost everywhere.” – Ace

  34. RGrant

    Great show as always, listen almost ever day. I’m a structural engineer, I design buildings and all sorts of other structures out of many different types of materials. I walked into the office on 9/11 after the first plane had already hit. The conference room TV was on and we watched the replay and then the second plane strike. I knew right away that if the fires were not put out there would be a high potential for collapse. When those planes hit the building they were shredded as if being shot into a giant cheese grader. Much of the fuel was vaporized instantly and everything in those offices was on fire. Steel does not have to reach its melting point to fail. Sustained high temperatures will weaken the steel enough so that it loses capacity and can no longer support the loads it was designed for. That is exactly what we all saw, the heated steel failed and the mass of those upper floors came down like a giant hammer, pancaking both buildings. Once the mass of the upper floors started moving the kinetic energy they had was huge. Some people will never be convinced that what I say is true, they have other agendas and the truth doesn’t fit those agendas.

    • Yog-Sothoth

      I’ve heard a lot of stories on both ends about this topic, but unlike all of them, you sound like you know exactly what you are talking about. You say you are a structural engineer which is literally an expert on this exact subject, and the science makes sense, so I’ll be taking your word for it. Most of the conspiracy theories are just ideas and possibilities, rarely can any of it be proven, but when people debunk the theories, they do the exact same thing. They are no experts in any related field, but they still think they know best, and I don’t give a shit what they have to say.
      People like YOU, RGrant, you are the people I will listen to in these matters, people who know exactly what they are talking about and have the science and experience to back it up. Everyone else on either side, as long as they are not an expert, they can shut the fuck up.

  35. Brett

    Does ACE know that if his parents practiced his “cumming on the tits” because they are poor there would be no ACE. Also ACE’s whole policy and philosophy can basically boiled down to “rich is right, rich is smart, rich is wise”. He bases this all on his parents and their friends. His rant about poor people need to stop having kids is Not funny and so played. Even the Rich Bank’s song can’t breath life into this ‘shut up old man Carolla” rant.

    Dance Monkey!

    • chris

      Clearly people should only have enough children that they can financially and emotionally support.

      BUT that does not mean rich and smart should be default have all the kids.

      Do you really think a person that works 80 hours a week is gonna be the best parent out there? Who cares if they make over 1 mil and year and are really smart they are still not gonna be their enough for the kid.

      But then again a poor family having six kids is also uncalled for. If you are that poor it is pretty clear you can not afford (money wise) 6 kids. Even if someone is working a minimum wage job they should be able to have kids (ie 1 or 2) but it is irresponsible to have 6.

      • Pedro

        The rich won’t necessarily be incredible parents, but at least they will have the means to care for the children. Also, a lot of people got rich by not having kids and focusing on work, so that is kind of taken care of. The pregnant lady at Wal-Mart dragging 3 kids around as well as (hopefully) a beater-wearing husband is the one who should not be having more kids. This isn’t even a race thing either, it happens in the projects and the trailer park.
        Maybe we need a panel that gives permits to have kids. You should have to prove that you have a stable environment and two parents before getting pregnant. You don’t even need to be loaded, just smart and stable enough.

      • Elle

        You are right, plus if the kids of rich parents don’t become rich, then they’re just perpetuating the cycle.

  36. bb

    great show, greg fitzsimmons is always good and knows how to be a part of the show without coming off annoying.

  37. ClubSlice

    Greg was awesome! Agreed- he should be in a regular rotation if he has nothing better to do than to listen to Adam complain, guess celebrity cup sizes, be pressured to drink Mangrias and break his 20+ years of sobriety…

  38. Chuck

    Been a while since we heard from Creepy McCreeperson

  39. john

    i fucking love Sniglets!®

  40. David

    Love Fitzsimmons … like Adam’s Ted Baxter impression … Alison you’re cute when angry …

  41. DFGRulz

    Wood burns at 660 degrees F. Iron melts at 2800 degrees F.
    Therefore smelting iron with a wood fire is impossible. The Iron Age was a hoax.

    • jo ke
      jo ke09-11-2012

      Your missing a key ingredient its called a Bellow it delivers pressurized air to combustion to increase heat output.
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bellows The Iron age is Fact . It could be argued that it even spawned its own science called Archaeology.

  42. ShatnerHead

    You make some good points about the conspiracy theories.

    But what about the WTC building that was NOT hit by a plane that was demolished immediately and smoothly by our own people… it didn’t take 6 months to wire up and destroy that building. I think it was Building 7.

    Would like to hear your thoughts on that building and the circumstances involving it’s demolition.

  43. hood

    So sorry to hear about your Dad Adam. Hope he makes a full recovery.

  44. Aaron

    Can’t believe Fitz is so misguided on income taxes. His supposition that the rich pay a lower income tax rate than the very poor is ludicrous. It’s public info from the IRS, look it up.

    • Josh

      He does the same thing all Libs do…they compare the income tax rate to capital gains tax rate which is BS.

  45. Internet Troll
    Internet Troll09-11-2012

    Great episode. When Adam turns on his critical thinking his mind is a great lens, when he doesn’t the lens crack is visible for miles. His cop theory was super insightful. His economic theories not so much.

    But the guessing game really made me miss the Minka drops from Loveline.

    • Dustin

      Seems wierd that when you agree with him he’s right, and yet when you disagree he is wrong.. odd?

  46. jabez

    Cops don’t care about skin color, Ace? Really? REALLY?
    C’mon, man. For a man who touts the virtue of common sense – give your fucking head a shake. Jesus.

  47. matt

    love Fitzsimmons- he should be more of a regular. more fitz, less damesheck

  48. setlasmon

    Adam, I have a few gay friends more than a few of whom enjoy NFL football for the same reasons you do.

    I know you’re not the most left-leaning cat, but come the fuck on. Don’t lower yourself further to the level of people who listen to those drivetime DJs you constantly make fun of. (rooster noise)

  49. UnBald Brian
    UnBald Brian09-11-2012

    Politics aside. Ace and Fttz are both awesome. Ftz should definitely replace Sheks appearances.

  50. SamuelJH

    Thank you.

  51. Shakey Jake
    Shakey Jake09-11-2012

    d00d, i want to hear fitz and ace both on the mic at the strip club. they did it for like 2 seconds. i want to hear more.

  52. jj

    Love the Fitzdog. That was a funny interaction regarding the Mangria. Greg is hysterical.

  53. Matt

    About time someone brought up the idea of percentages to Adam! Biggest flaw in his argument.

  54. Internet Troll
    Internet Troll09-11-2012

    Quick update I misread Exxon’s Q-10 net income they actually earned an average of 4 billion a month for the six months ended June 2012, they report in millions, not thousands. That’s right they complain while earning billions a month. Exxon should get on and teach Adam a thing or two about how to complain.

  55. Justin

    I do want to be present when Fitzsimmons says his first funny remark. It’s gonna be a big day. I’ve waited this long … I just have to be there.

  56. Ringtone Please...
    Ringtone Please...09-11-2012

    Thanks for the new ringtone. When will the “Noooo!” ringtone be ready?

  57. JT

    JUST caught Adam on Dr. Drew’s LifeChangers…and the “wise one” said, “If it doesn’t make you $$, or it doesn’t make you happy, you probably shouldn’t do it.”

    …then he said, “Hey, I need to get paid, or i need to get Laid!” ;D

  58. Doug

    Damn, Adam: yes you are literally a millionaire and thus you pay a higher percentage of your taxes than someone who makes $20k a year. The U.S. has a PROGRESSIVE TAX system: those with higher incomes are taxed at a lower rate than lower earners. A regressive tax system taxes the poorer at a higher rate than richer individuals. The U.S. populace has been fine with this system for many decades until around 2001 when GW Bush decided to implement his regressive tax break. That was the “smoking section” moment (as you’ve used as an illustrative point). Now, many people (such as yourself) feel that you should be paying the same percentage of your income as the guy who makes $20k a year. But you’re also going to need to convince the states who charge income and sales taxes if you want more money back. For instance, sales tax is a progressive tax: the theory behind it assuming that someone who can spend hundreds of thousands of dollars for a luxury automobile can also afford to pay more tax for his/her consumption — in essence, a tax on how large a consumer you are. (This is why food that is not prepared is not taxed — an even playing surface there.) So, next time you buy a Lambo, Jag or other big ticket item, rant at the salesperson that you’ve already paid too much. Maybe the irony will hit you then…

  59. D

    Here’s a nice lil wrap up why one should question the official story of 9/11


  60. Roger

    Laughed all day at the exchange where Fitz asked if dad Carolla had a feeding tube inserted, and Adam said, no, he jams sloppy Joes up his ass to feed him. Great line, Aceman!!

  61. Fred

    Fitzdog is awesome. I love it when the guest gets under Adam’s skin a little bit.

    Keep up the good work, everybody!

  62. Chad

    Fiz is just as hard to listen too as shek. They always make me have to turn off the show

  63. LouE

    Trivia Q: What did Adam call Greg when he mispronounced his name with his peer pressure drinking spiel?

    • DefNottaJew

      He called him “Fitzgerald”

  64. Mike

    Fitz and Shek are great regulars. Book them more if you have nobody coming in.

    David Wild is pretentious and dull. Who cares who he’s met. The extent of his musical knowledge ends in 1989 anyway.

  65. Felon

    Love Fitzies video.. Liquid Failure..

    Have you looked at your career lately

    that’s real failure..

  66. Yog-Sothoth

    Adam isn’t REALLY too dumb to know how math works, right? This is some elaborate prank right? I refuse to believe he is dumb enough to think that the base number someone pays in taxes is more important than the percentage, I’d much rather believe this is just extreme greed on his behalf now that he is rich.
    Not only were tax cuts on the wealthy one of the main causes of the recession, off-shore tax dodging is pretty much the main cause of the global economic crisis. The numbers show that if all the money wealthy people hid off shore was taxed, Greece and several other bankrupt countries would be fine. All the people hiding their money in the Caymans and other places think the exact same way Adam does, all that matters is the base number, as long as it’s pretty high the percentage doesn’t matter. Well to anyone who knows how fucking math works, the percentage clearly FUCKING DOES MATTER!
    Stop complaining about taxes and go buy yourself another Ferrari, you are NOT struggling, you wouldn’t even be struggling if you paid 90% in taxes so you have no damn right to ever complain. Having 50 million left after taxes instead of 60 million is NOT a punishment. If the base number is all that matters to you, why do you focus all your attention on the small number, the amount you pay, rather than the much larger number, the amount you have left over?
    And you wonder why we don’t respect rich people any more? THIS IS WHY!! They don’t appreciate what they have, even if they had more money than they can spend in a thousand lifetimes, it’s not good enough, they still obsess over every potentially missed dime. They caused a world-wide economic crisis by dodging taxes and hoarding as much money as possible, and yet you still complain about how your taxes are too high while the rest of us are struggling.
    Here’s a riddle for you: What’s the difference between people like Warren Buffet and Bill Gates, who are rich but think their taxes should be higher and that they are lucky to have been able to become so rich and donate most of their money to various charities, and people like Adam, who constantly complains about how high his taxes are and takes it as a personal offense if he is not praised for how great he is to have earned everything he has?
    The answer: One of those people is a raging narcissist, and the others aren’t.

    • xiv

      You should listen better to Adam. He’s been clear that he sees nothing wrong with a progressive tax system, but the “fair share” argument is bullshit. If one guy pays $600 in taxes, and another guy pays $3million in taxes, the first guy has no logical right to demand that the second guy “pay his fair share.” Should the rich guy pay more? Maybe, maybe not–it’s a fair discussion. But to say that the rich guy isn’t paying his fair share is intellectually dishonest.

    • Riggz

      Yes, Adam thinks everyone is as dumb and lazy as his immediate family. Sorry Adam, many hard working, educated people are stuggling to make ends meet. Adam is nothing more than a self entitled, uneducated “lottery winner”. Luck, shmoozing, and being in the right place at the right time are the reason Adam is successfull. Rich people should pay about 65% tax rate… real rich people (not Adam) should not be allowed to evade paying taxes. So shut up bitch and make us laugh for a change!

  67. DryDrunk

    Fitzdawg! 21 years sobriety and your angry, resentful ass NEEDS A MEETING stat!

  68. Higgs

    Fitz is a “coat holder”. What that means where I come from is that he loves to talk like a tough guy with an anger problem, but whenever shit goes down, Fitz is the guys left holding the coats while his buddies are trying clean up the mess he caused by talking shit some other guys.

    Much like his tough guy nonsense, his liberal pablum is just some senseless, stoner ethos he came up with to try to ingratiate him with the liberal people he relies on to get work. The “percentage” argument is complete garbage and the idea that rich people already make too much is just scary. This is the kind of stuff that feels good to shout out to a roomful of stoned college kids at “The Chuckle Hut’, but has absolutely no basis in reality.

    The only thing that drives me crazy is how Adam just gives in, and goes along, even though he knows Fitz is FOS. Oh well, just trying to maintain relations I guess.

  69. Dustin

    If you dont like Fitz or Shek… I’m calling bullshit. Adam Carolla has virtually the same sense of humor as both of them.

    Are you serious? Please stop listening. Nobody cares about your negative comments.

    • DefNottaJew

      Thank you, Dustin. They’re both funny and we aren’t paying a goddamn dime for the show so shut the eff up and enjoy!!!!

  70. Thiago

    Where the fuck is the CUM ON THE TITS t-shirt for me to buy??? Let`s take this campaign seriously!

  71. Robey

    Well, I suppose that I can see why Verlander is less dominant this season: holy upton(s)!

  72. Lindsay

    Bald Bryan saying ‘That’s all it takes?’ in the beginning is hands down the funniest thing I’ve heard all week! I am still laughing at it half an hour later.

  73. slowtimer

    you should give links to all the news stories and references you talk about

  74. Elle

    1st video: ok, I’m not saying what the cops did was right, but who doesn’t know that you’re NOT supposed to get out of your car & approach a cop when pulled over?! I’d assume ESPECIALLY in Cali. You’re not supposed to approach cops ever nor do anything they don’t tell you to do.

    2nd video: I don’t know the story/circumstances behind what that kid did, but did they really need like 20 cops on the scene? Talk about excessive force, seriously!?!! The wall of cops alone pushing the onlookers back was like 10 wide. wth?

    Tracheotomy – it’s BOTH:
    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Among the oldest described surgical procedures, tracheotomy (also referred to as tracheostomy) consists of making an incision on the anterior aspect of the neck and opening a direct airway through an incision in the trachea. The resulting stoma can serve independently as an airway or as a site for a tracheostomy tube to be inserted; this tube allows a person to breathe without the use of his or her nose or mouth. Both surgical and percutaneous techniques are widely used in current surgical practice.

    Ok I researched it:
    “Ronald Weekley, Jr. was being detained because he was allegedly skateboarding on the wrong side of the street.”
    Ok seriously? They have nothing better to do than arrest someone for that? REALLY?! Let him put himself at risk if he wants!
    “Michelle Jordan, was being investigated for talking on her cell phone while driving. Covered with bruises and abrasions, she too was arrested for resisting arrest.”
    I mean C’MON! Was NO ONE else speeding or driving eratically? Was she doing anything besides talking on her phone to be pulled over for? Run a red light? SOMETHING? ANYTHING??!!
    “The existence of a video depicting a third violent incident at the hands of the LAPD was revealed on August 30. Made by an LAPD in-car camera, the video recording itself has yet to be released. According to witnesses and a belated statement issued by LAPD Deputy Chief Bob Green, 35-year old Alecia Thomas left her 3-year-old and 12-year-old children at the LAPD’s Southeast Division station during the early morning hours of July 22. She told the children to go inside and tell the police that she was addicted to drugs, destitute and no longer able to care for them. Later that day, five LAPD officers tracked Thomas down at her home and placed her under arrest for child endangerment.”
    If anything Thomas was doing the exact opposite of endangering her children by taking them to the police station.

  75. Rucker

    I argued and made a fool of myself against my mother (retired nurse) about Tracheotomy vs. Tracheostomy. I laughed my ass off during that section.

  76. Bill

    Why does Adam alway single out the blacks for having kids they can’t take care of. Wouldn’t that have applied to Adams white parents in the 1960s? And if so, whose podcast would I be enjoying every day?

    • xiv

      He singles out the black community because it’s more of a problem in the black community than others in this country. There are a disproportionate number of black kids without a present father, and nobody seems to want to address the problem effectively–certainly not Al and Jesse. There’s no reason why people shouldn’t know this–it’s fart-joked about in every Wayans movie. The trend certainly isn’t a myth.

      • Hogan's Hero
        Hogan's Hero09-13-2012

        That is total bullshit. White people are the ones on welfare and in poverty, millions more than blacks, because there are millions more white people than black. I work in this area, and it is such a misconception made by idiots that black people account for all the poor people/people on welfare. NOT TRUE, its mostly white

        • xiv

          72% of Americans are white, and according to the official Department of Health and Human Services website, they account for 38.8% of all welfare recipients. 12% of Americans are black, and they account for 39.8% of all welfare recipients. You are factually incorrect. Do your homework.

    • "O-Dog"

      Well, Paul F. Tompkins is very funny. I can’t vouch for his parentage, though.

  77. Jack

    Remind me when Greg Fitz is on the air again so I can avoid it and delete the show. Jesus Christ, that whiny voice is like a cheese grater to my ears.

  78. weezbag

    I love how Adam takes it for granted that blacks, by the mere event of being black and therefore subject to their genetically coded willfulness, will kick off when pulled over by police officers. Like, black people don’t have brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers and aunts and uncles who are able to impart the ‘chill the fuck out because these cops are assholes’ wisdom after years and years of driving while black. Yeah, your shit is the new, revolutionary shit. Untried, untested, and completely unheard of.

    Seriously, Adam. You need more black friends.

    Myopic and completely disheartening.

    • xiv

      ACE has never said nor implied that blacks have any genetic coding that leads to their “kicking off” when pulled over by police officers. He has only pointed out trends, and he isn’t making them up. Poor, misguided, uninformed post by you, weezbag.

  79. Dane

    Here’s Allison’s alternative tagline:

    That’s the news…I’m Allison…Mrs. Rosen if you’re nasty.

    • MC White
      MC White09-12-2012

      ….Miss Rosen, if you’re nasty! (I love it!)

  80. matt s
    matt s09-12-2012

    this one was a real treat. what a big difference it makes when adam has another funny person to talk to. i mean someone that’s the opposite of wild and dameshek.

  81. Riggz

    Carolla spent his entire career bad mouthing his, “idiot father” saying he’s a lame, uninspired pussy who was absent from Adam’s life… now we are supposed to feel sorry for Adam? People die everyday, who cares?

    • xiv

      I care. I guess you’re just way tougher than most other people.

  82. Macaroni and Cheese
    Macaroni and Cheese09-13-2012

    Great “Who?!” drop by Bald when Adam was talking about the knitted owl covers for the bodily fluid bags.

  83. Mikey

    That sounds boring as hell but go ahead!!

  84. Bob Buttface
    Bob Buttface09-14-2012

    I agree with Adam about having less children, but he is completely wrong about private prisons. Even crazy Libertarian Penn thinks private prisons are a bad idea.

  85. James @ Victoria
    James @ Victoria09-14-2012

    That was hilarious!!

  86. Doug

    Adam accidentally calling Greg “Fitzgerald” made my day. Hilarious!

  87. SParker

    Uuugh….. I’ve decided Fitz has too much. He should pay more in taxes. How dare he say somebody who works hard makes tons of money has “too much” and that person does not need it.

  88. Robert R
    Robert R09-20-2012

    Ace, your new sponsor is an MLM scam. It’s a front for Herbalife distribution. BBB rating is meaningless. Great show, I love Fitzsimmons

  89. howard

    This is the guy sober like twenty years? It was a great show but that was messed up how Adam was messing with the guy offering him the booze. People who are not alcoholics don’t understand the disease of alcoholism. How it lies to a person and tries to make them drink even after years of being abstinent. They don’t stop drinking because they can’t but accept that once they put any booze in their body it awakens the cravings and just that one drink send them back into being powerless over alcohol. I would have drank. I had three years really sober and all it took was my brain to get me to pick up. I didn’t need anyone egging me on. That’s cool that guy didn’t drink. I bet he had to go to an AA meeting after and bad mouthed Adam the whole time for doing that to him. lol.

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