Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 12/19/2013 – Deaf Frat Guy and Lina Esco, Live from the American Comedy Co. in San Diego
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Deaf Frat Guy and Lina Esco, Live from the American Comedy Co. in San Diego
Recorded 12-18-2013 – Release Date 12-19-2013
Production Number #1229
Adam is opening the 2nd of two live shows from San Diego, the 1st will air when they return from break in January, ACS #1228.
BB has a non-credited #TopDrop and weird “we don’t do that here” to Adam who’s curious about the changeup, BB then explains it’s due to the lack of internet and he doesn’t bother to check the hashtag before he leaves home.
Adam is telling the gang about attending his kid’s holiday pageant earlier this morning, he’s describing a mother with an overhead position for her camera filming the proceedings.
Adam is sharing how he snapped the pic and joking about what Lynette thought, his son’s disinterest in the production and how it contrasts to his enthusiasm for more typical “boy” activities.
Adam is sharing the buck slip he takes notes on during these events, BB has a funny quip about the other parents misunderstanding what he’s doing.
Adam has some more funny comments about the events, and his kids differing enthusiasm levels.
All Balls or J.V.
Mistletoe tattoo above the butt crack
Dead dad in Chimneys/The Scene from Gremlins
Fake Christmas Trees
Adam is now riffing about the decorated rubber tree used as a Christmas tree, the photo is viewable via the show page link above.
Adam is riffing about the hassle of getting a Christmas tree, how it’s a waste of time, money and resources but it’s worth it, that’s the point.
Adam is sharing how Jimmy Kimmel prefers the fake tree, Alison wants to know why and BB is stepping in to advocate for it, Adam has a great reply for Alison who admits to having a fake tree.
Adam has an even better one liner reply for Alison, comedy gold!
Adam says that Natalia already broke an ornament/bulb and he’s question the logic of hanging super delicate glass objects on precarious branches.
Lynette told Adam about the ornament and said she didn’t want to Molly to step in it, Adam wants to know what about him and has great Norm from “Cheers” one liner about Molly’s visits to the vet.
Dudes who go Apeshit with decorations on their houses
Adam is riffing about these people shaming their neighbors who don’t participate, BB is in the mix and they’re discussing large plastic Santa statues used in Christmas decorations.
Adam is getting to the owl statues that are supposed to prevent seagulls from shitting in places, Adam is saying if he was a seagull after time he would start doing some “test shitting” to figure out if the owl was real or not.
Alison wants to know if they have a designated test shitter or if anyone can attempt, Adam is saying that if that’s the way birds work then Christmas must confuse them with Santa statues on rooftops.
Adam and DFG are riffing about birds of prey and the leather helmets on them, hilarious scarf and bomber jacket closer from Ace.
Q and Ace
1st Question from Daryl, he wants to know the best way to avoid his stripper sister in law over the holidays.
Adam and BB say that could pay off in multiple ways, Adam has some areola asymmetry insults he could use.
DFG is trying to get a joke in and Adam is having him repeat it, this is great, Adam is riffing about combatting a drunk sloppy person by getting drunker and sloppier.
DFG is offering up his cocaine Christmas counter offer, a true white Christmas.
Adam says coke is the wrong drug and is riffing with DFG. Adam is now riffing about the occasions that are best for certain substances, DFG is adding to is nicely.
Adam is explaining the concept of an “Elf on a Shelf” and how it’s used to influence kids into behaving.
Adam is saying that you need to influence your kids to be humans for 2 weeks out of the year and using a nice cannibal Natalia example.
Adam is now riffing about Jesus/god watching everyone 24/7 worldwide and has an amazing reality show example, he’s explaining that Santa works because we only use him during the Christmas Holiday.
DFG is sharing his theory on Santa and his myth being so unlikely but the Jagermeister always vanishes over his fireplace.
Adam and DFG are having a great back and forth.
Great Chimneys, Chimleys, Chimblys back and forth between Ace and DFG, comedy gold!
2nd Question from Summer, she wants to know if Adam’s kids still believe in Santa, BB adds to it, how much longer will they?
Adam is on a great riff about using Santa to influence Sonny into give up chasing the dragon and cum on his girlfriend’s tits, hilarious follow up from Alison.
Adam has a great “random lesbian child” one liner while giving a nice Tonka truck analogy.
Adam is now asking everyone to dig, he’s saying that childhood transitions from Santa not bringing you shit to dad taking your shit away, he’s asking about that 14 month window of limbo in between each stage.
Adam is explaining the zero gravity “nothing means anything” world his kids inhabit, he’s using Natalia’s recent ice skate outfit purchase.
Adam is joking about the leotard being purchased at the Caesars gift shop, Adam is joking about her not finding the humor in the question.
Adam is now saying that the most expensive place to buy anything you need is at the place you use it, ice skates at an ice rink, Alison says condoms at whorehouses and BB has a nice ATM strip club example.
DFG has a bowling shoes reply that also holds up.
DFG is telling Adam to use Chris Cringle to scare his kids when they get uppity about the holidays, DFG is breaking down Santa and his alias, Adam has a Sean Combs/P. Diddy analogy and Alison sums it up nicely with a rap name reply.
Alison and Adam have a jinx moment “Santa P. Clause” while joking about Santa in the SAG union.
Adam is now asking the gang one final “All Balls or J.V.”
Beating off on Christmas Eve
Adam is now asking him about the timing and DFG is riffing about the contrast of holiday family celebrations transitioning to dark personal time, Adam has hilarious mini candy cane joke.
Adam is bringing up some questionable camping activities and DFG is freaking out, gold!
“Never Beat off in a graveyard” – DFG with a “The More You Know” PSA. Too late for the 2013 Ace Awards, Can’t be considered for the 2014 now either.
Adam is riffing about retrograde ejaculation and has a reverse jizz bubble reply, gold.
Alison has a “smells like jizz” quote that is ripe for a drop, Alison wants to know the application of the retrograde while camping in particular.
DFG is riffing about doing this and mocking Adam’s quote from Dr. Drew, DFG is emotional telling Adam how “J.V.” this is.
Adam is now clarifying that this retrograde move is back ball/taint not anus related, Adam says he’s never tried it and is mocking the idea of becoming attached to a particular load of semen.
Adam doesn’t like the idea that he even has semen in him now and wants a semen shop vac, Alison has a nice “company you keep” reply and recommends they teach retrograde ejaculation in the Boy Scouts of America.
DFG is bringing up a movie from the 1980’s, a serial killer movie and Adam says “Silent Night Deadly Night” and DFG has an immediate fuck you chambered for whomever said “silent”, DFG is going off and they’re now wrapping up.
Lina Esco is now joining the ACS for her debut visit, she’s telling them about her documentary, that she now corrects Adam on, telling him that it’s a feature film.
Adam has a killer “It’s about time” joke, Adam is asking her about her background and she’s being super vague and DFG is trying to get her to elaborate, helping her out.
Adam is asking her why modeling sucked, Adam says that’s why it’s called modeling, and it doesn’t involve your thoughts and opinions being heard.
Adam is trying to help her shape her “journey” to keep an audience interested, Adam is asking her how “Free the Nipple” came about.
Adam is summing it up, she’s saying it’s a double standard and leads to a conversation about violence vs. nudity in media.
DFG is now busting out his pythons, Adam is bringing up his least favorite double standard, the man boobs on “Biggest Loser” and he’s got a crying Indian/leaking nipple joke that nobody gives enough of a reaction to.
Adam is sharing his full “pixelated ass crack vs. lactating dude” “Biggest Loser” vs. “Survivor” theory.
Lina agrees and Adam is asking if it’s more of the European model for nudity in media, DFG is now saying he’s totally against shaved bush and wants the old-school look.
Adam has a funny “fucking a turkey at whole foods” reply to DFG example, Adam says you have to hit a new whole foods every time and can’t return for sloppy seconds to the same store.
Adam is asking DFG about “boning a pumpkin” and Adam is now getting back to Lina’s journey and she’s sharing how people walked away from her in response to this movie and the central theme.
Adam is asking where she’s been topless in public, she’s telling him about the occupy Wall Street protests and DFG is jumping in with a great “Poochie’s Uncle” anecdote from the occupy protests.
DFG is sharing a health update on Poochie’s Uncle and his injured testicles, hilarious delivery from DFG and they’re now discussing the torsion aspect of the injury.
Lina is explaining how they’re being targeted with an “NC-17” and she’s seemingly unaware of the MPAA’s bias against independent filmmakers and Adam is sharing his own example of an R rating for “The Hammer”.
Adam is mocking the “violence” used to explain the R rating for his film, he’s saying that the MPAA actually communicated that the two fucks were the breaking point.
Lina is now trying to imply that Adam has some sort of connections, he’s point out that obviously not enough as they didn’t get the PG rating.
Lina wants to “start a conversation” and says that censoring women means you have to censor violence and uses retarded as a derogatory term, weird.
DFG has a funny men are from mars reply to take it away from the serious political agenda territory, he’s jumping back in and getting to the power that women truly hold and Lina compliments DFG for his pro feminism reply.
Lina is now saying she won’t get topless despite the promotional claims that she would, she’s insisting on Alison also going topless is the requirement.
This is very odd, I think she promised to go topless and is now refusing and instead telling people to see her movie, weird.
Chris Maxipada is now going topless and DFG is reacting, Alison spotted a winger and so did Adam.
Adam is explaining that nobody wants to see him topless, DFG is mocking his prodigious nipples.
Alison is sharing her horrible school like feeling of if she would just do something that makes her uncomfortable we could all have fun, I totally get what she’s saying and Adam is supporting her.
Alison is sharing an anecdote of hopping fences to get to a party, Adam is saying that he hopped one for the first time in a long time, he hopped the fence at his kid’s schools.
Adam is saying that schools have become like maximum security prisons and sharing the telltale sign of abundant parking means that you are far away from where you’re supposed to be.
Her top story is on a 17yr old high school senior who was suspended for a year after hugging a teacher who rebuffed him, Alison is now describing the video and the resulting hubbub about the attempted hug.
Adam is standing up because he’s getting pissed off, he’s ranting about “personal space” and the use of “I feel threatened” he says fuck you to these pussies and has a nice freeway “tap” analogy.
Adam is ranting about former molestation victims who haven’t sought therapy making the whole world their victimizer recreating their past traumas.
Adam says that if someone does something to you that you don’t want them to do, move on, you don’t have to call the cops, you can walk away.
Alison has the report that the boys lips touched her neck, Adam says who gives a fuck he got shit thrown at him and he doesn’t care about hollow shells of humans and how they feel, who gives a fuck how you feel you’re broken – Adam
Alison has a point about bogus sexual harassment claims diminishing the abilities of people who actually suffer through such things, Adam has a nice “good Ol’ fashioned” sexual harassment riff.
Adam has a point about sexual harassment seminars resulting in increased litigation not less, Adam has an ugly guy at work analogy, saying yes he is beating off while thinking about you and you can’t stop him, gold!
Great tiny apartment and hotplate comedy between Adam and BB.
2nd Story is on an article that advises how much to tip around the holidays.
Adam is asking about the mailman and doesn’t know how to leave a bottle of scotch on the curb intended for him, he’s riffing about hiring an owl to protect it.
BB has a great owl shaped flask idea, Adam wants to tape the mailman and garbage man but doesn’t want to have to pace out front with a bottle of booze, Great one liner from BB from the POV of someone witnessing him.
Adam is joking about garbage cans becoming so fucked up they become “part of the garbage” and are taken away by the garbage man.
Adam is joking about things that took way too long, garbage cans with wheels attached to them and he’s lamenting the days of dragging steel cans across a driveway.
Adam would have rather heard and ice skate across a chalkboard and the sound of someone punching a baby, wow he’s on fire!
Adam is now bringing up the methods used to keep shopping carts on premises, he’s contrasting the modern computer controlled variety vs. the electrical conduit strapped to the cart, preventing one from exiting through the door.
DFG is pitching a line of high-end shopping carts, Adam is exploring the idea and how bedazzling a cart is just the beginning, custom rims and fur trim liners.
Adam is now doing a live read and DFG is joining him at the end, gold!
Alison has some of the info from the tipping story, 10-20 for your barista and Alison wants to know if anyone sees the same barista and they know their name, only one person in the audience can relate to this.
Adam is asking the person about these details, Adam says you gotta tip the shit outta that person then.
DFG is sharing his own variant on this, post defecating.
Alison wants to know what one is supposed to do regarding etiquette and using the restroom with your coffee in hand at the Starbucks.
Adam is pitching the next “feature film” for Lina, he’s telling her no this next one will be her 1st documentary.
Adam is explaining his bowel schedule theory and his difficulty dealing with his own asshole when it’s off schedule, he’s citing his TV show filming that’s thrown him off.
Adam is ordering his asshole to “shit now” and is wrapping up this crazy riff, he’s really on fire tonight.
DFG has some funny thoughts about carrying toilet paper in his car for roadside emergency pooping, he’s pitching Adam on a fake beard and BB loves how elaborate it’s getting.
Adam is asking what the gang will do to alter their own bowel schedule, BB forgoes the coffee and DFG is joking about seeing dude exit the lavatory on a flight.
Alison and Lina both say their assholes are up for everything, drop city!
Alison says her asshole is up for adventure and BB even shouts to get that drop, gold!
Adam is now using “Bewitched” and “Knight Rider” to compare Alison and her asshole alter ego, Charles in Charge, Snoopy and Family Matters all get referenced to.
3rd Story is on a guy who won a Howard Stern contest centered on getting his grandpa laid by a prostitute in conjunction with the movie “Bad Grandpa”.
Alison is reporting that the grandpa choked and died on steak before cashing in his prostitute gift card and his grandson used it instead.
Adam is now referencing the old man porn, he wants to know what’s sadder the parents of the young girl in the video of the grandkid of the old guy who’s fucking on camera at age 72.
DFG has a Mike F. anecdote, Adam is now joking about the grim reaper intervening and taking that grandpa off the earth to prevent him from dying mid coitus.
“He dies almost doing what he loved” – Adam, he’s now saying that eating steak before sex with a prostitute would be better than dying alone in a hospital bed or rolling your car.
Alison is explaining that the anticipation before an exciting date was always the best part, she’s now wrapping the news and Adam is doing a live read for Draft Kings with BB chiming a bit as per usual.
Adam is giving an ice plug for the new DFG Christmas album and joking about his website, he’s plugging Lina’s movie and calling it a very worthy cause.
Adam is wrapping up the show with a nice Mahalo and DFG shouting some nonsense, Dawson is closing out the final live show of 2013 from the American Comedy co. in San Diego California