Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 12/05/2013 – Dave Dameshek and Steve Hofstetter

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Dave Dameshek and Steve Hofstetter

Recorded 12-04-2013 – Release Date 12-05-2013

Production Number #1218

Show Page

Adam is opening the show with Dave Dameshek making his triumphant return, the fans demanded it and he’s back, see guys nothing weird going on, he’s cool.

A very topical #TopDrop and BB has a nice joke about the two military themed twitter handles.

Adam is having a weird thing with his words and mouth, he’s giving out the plugs and BB wants to know the pile of shit Adam has sitting in front of him.

 

Adam is explaining it’s the cranberry chutney, he’s got a nice comment about his wife having to live with him full time.

He’s explaining all the extra effort she has to go in order to accommodate his simple yet seemingly impossible preferences and needs.

Adam is explaining how he told Lynette to absolutely use the catering company for the Thanksgiving service as they were just moving into the new house and unpacking as the holiday week rolled around.

 

Adam is now asking if you are required to deliver the items you claim to serve, he’s got a hilarious pimento loaf catfish club sandwich analogy.

Alison just dropped her own what if scenario, Dave’s got a priceless reaction and this will be a new drop.

Adam is now referencing his buddy Carl’s who would ordering his eggs basted and is riffing about how nobody knows what that means.

 

Dave is joking about Adam changing as a person in the months since Dave has guested, he’s mocking this very Adam riff that Adam is on.

Adam is explaining he made sure to make his own sauce for the holiday and he brought them forks, Alison says he brought 4 knives and he’s having them all taste this stuff.

Adam is saying this is not bad, it’s just not cranberry sauce.

 

Alison is describing her reaction to the “vaguely Indian” taste and possible discovery of a cranberry in it.

 

Adam is now bitching about his new show “To Catch a Contractor” and how it came to be, he’s getting to his greatest wish that everything will just go away, a vestige of his childhood prayers for school closure.

Adam has an amazing series of quotes about the stuff he prays to go away never vanishing and the stuff he wants never coming to be, brilliant!

Adam is now explaining his need to be in close proximity to his Glendale studio for his daily podcast recording, Adam is now reading the list of the homes they’ve tackled so far.

 

Adam is now lamenting the traffic and his commutes to these far off locations to tape the new reality show.

Adam is explaining that the next two houses are in Englewood, the gang are offering up some commentary on this and Dave is once again mocking Adam’s changing demeanor.

Adam is now waxing poetic on the idea of nothing existed until it’s invented and the short sighted nature of humans to not be able to perceive of probable change.

 

Adam is explaining how Jimmy conceived of Spike before it was ever thought up, it was considered absurd when he invited it with Adam in the Man Show writer’s room.

Dave and Adam are now breaking down cynicism and how it’s the cowardly angle in contrast to how bold innovation and invention can be.

Adam is now mocking the default morning radio take on how everything is “lame”, hilarious riff and impression of a lazy radio host.

 

Dave is now getting to the first person who ate an oyster, to poach and egg, BBQ?

He’s explaining how bold it is to come up with these concoctions, he’s got a caveat of BBQ being an accident and Alison has a great new egg related drop.

Adam is explaining how a lot of human food consumption comes from our history, he’s asking when taste was even brought into the equation and BB has a nice “sweating onions” one liner.

 

Adam is now doing a live read.

 

Dave Dameshek’s #1 Sports

Adam is now bringing up the recent field goal attempt from Monday night, they’re getting to his anger about the Goal Posts, and Dave was pretending to have never heard of this.

Dave is hinting at the lengths he traveled to the bowels of the NFL archive and the halls of the network, even citing running to Rich Eisen.

Dave is saying that if the ball goes directly over the goal post it is considered good, they’re now examining the double standard that still exists within that rule.

 

Adam is now asking for an image of a ball turret gunner, he’s trying to explain the things that drive him insane, he’s explaining how in the 1940’s we had this technology, fast-forward to 1963 and the NFL goal posts have two support poles.

Adam is asking why they had to evolve to a simple T shape.

 

They’re now playing the theme and officially launching into the segment.

Dave is adding an addendum about the guy who first figured out wine, he’s got a great riff about fermentation.

Adam is now giving his take “drunker than pig on beach blossoms” and how once again like the food innovations perhaps primitive man witnessed these animals getting drunk on natural fermented fruits.

 

Adam is now joking about trying to spot an animal that’s drunk, hilarious pig fucking an uglier pig riff.

Adam is saying he would have made it a top priority to somehow steal the drunkenness from the animals and put it in him, gold!

 

Dave is now getting to the new Kobe Bryant 50 million dollar deal, Dave objects and equates it to a Christy Brinkley in a house fire analogy.

Adam and BB have a “that’s so lame” callback, Adam is doing the “verbatim from Lynette” riff in reply to Dave.

Adam and Dave are going in depth with their takes on Kobe as a man and a player, Adam is giving his take on the NBA and how some players can slack on the court and what it inspires in those trying with their all.

Dave is now explaining how he gets shamed on the court by their buddy Kevin Hench for not passing him the ball in a game with no stakes, Dave has a nice call back to Adam’s “black” one liner from moments ago.

Alison is still stuck on Adam’s tiddlywinks reference up top and Adam is bringing up Dave’s triumphant history with Connect Four and his 4 consecutive wins in the championships.

 

Dave is really blowing hard and waxing poetic, mocking the premise of one celebrating their own achievements, this is solid!

Adam is explaining the Connect Four matches at the Man Show and how Dameshek was quickly destroyed losing 5 out of the first 7 games, Adam is really digging in.

Dave is now admitting all the guys who beat him in recreational four, not competition.

 

Dave is listing off the other celebrities that enjoy his “sport” and the attempts to lure him out of retirement.

Dave is taking it to the NFL and Adam is now mocking the idea of your writers emotionally invested in a connect four tournament on the 3rd floor, not writing scripts.

Dave wants to know Adam’s take on Mike Tomlin having his foot on the field, Adam is unsure of the story and Dave is filling him in on it.

 

Dave is now asking the gang about my hometown team The Seahawks and if they can take it all the way, Adam is now explaining you can’t ever count out Belichick and Tom Brady.

Adam is citing their recent 24-0 they were able to adjust to and then end up coming back to win.

Alison is now asking about sports terms, she’s saying that when she watched football it’s too fast for her to perceive the action and they’re all mocking her use of profanity.

 

Adam is now doing a live read with a great transition.

 

Creep of the Week

First up Dave has some words for the possum/opossum and Adam is now doing the “hold on are you sure you and Lynette didn’t talk earlier?”  Riff once again.

Dave is getting to the Thanksgiving holiday and how it brings people to the NFL who normally don’t even watch the sport.

Dave is going off on Jell-O and how it’s not something grown-ups are supposed to desire.

 

Adam is now lamenting the loss of the “Jell-O mold days” of the 1950’s, he’s referencing something he and Drew have discussed perhaps on the upcoming Adam and Drew Episode 102?

Adam is now bringing up the newly available wide variety of plastic reusable containers and he’s asking if a patent expired leading to the end of the Tupperware monopoly.

Adam is now mocking his grandma’s treatment of the Tupperware and his requirement to use crusty mayonnaise jars for transporting food from her home.

 

Dave is now going off on stuffing being relegated to only one day per year, he’s calling for 365 days of stuffing across the country.

Dave just referenced Adam’s appearance on Bill Simmons BS report podcast to mourn the death or Paul Walker, Dave was also on to mourn the remake of “Road House”.

For anyone who isn’t aware in 2010 Adam Carolla and Dave Dameshek recorded the definitive audio commentary for the film, their Basic Cable Commentary.

Many people have mocked/parodied/celebrated the insanity of that Basic Cable Classic of a movie but out of all of the 3rd party commentaries, theirs won an award, THE FUNNIEST!

 

Adam and Dave are now sharing their experience of meeting the late Patrick Swayze outside Amalfi, they’re sharing all of the details and really painting a picture.

Dave is now sharing a Tony Dorsett anecdote with the exact same reaction they were met with from Patrick.

Alison is now bringing up people not having appropriate reactions to things, she’s citing a recent live taping in Brea and how she recognized a band member she interviewed 10 years ago, she’s totally right.

 

Adam is now bringing up the infamous Jay Leno story, he doesn’t often share this one, he’s got all the details, how he first met him and was told to work out his comedy at “The Deli Smoker” and then smash cut to Adam on the Tonight Show.

Alison’s reaction is amazing, Dave is now sharing the story of the time a chunky hipster told him how he wasn’t as good as Howard Stern when he took over for KLSX, great variant of this classic story.

Adam is saying it’s wise to always have a fuck off chambered and he’s now doing a live read.

Adam is wrapping up with Dave and they have some fun with Steve’s last name.

 

Steve is now joining the how, he won the “Road Hard” competition and will also be featured in the film.

Steve is praising the opening “Definitely Not a Jew” and bringing up the strange Complisult Alison got on the last episode.

They’re all joking about rescuing, the concept of people saying that about their dogs and working it into the Jew riff.

 

Adam is now asking Steve how he was able to get involved with the Road Hard production and spreading the word about the Fund Anything campaign.

Adam is now bringing up how there are no longer any gatekeepers for him to fall at the mercy of, Steve and BB are weighing with some commentary too.

Steve is sharing how started with “College Humor” back in 2000 and had over 200k fb friends.

 

Alison is now asking him about owning 2 comedy clubs, though I think he said 3 earlier, Steve is telling Adam about the lack of money in the industry and why it’s important to put on a good show.

 

Q and Ace

1st Caller Brian is recently divorced after spending his youth with one woman, Adam is mocking his lack of game and says he has no sympathy for anyone who is single with a computer in these days.

Adam is explaining how its fine to not be good in bar settings and its fine to the excuse of few or no members of the opposite sex in your workplace, but the computer is the ultimate nullifier as it were.

Alison is now sharing her experience transitioning from drinking on dates to going without and what it felt like for her, she’s got some solid advice.

 

2nd Caller Jessie is starting a doctorate program and was inspired by Adam and Drew, he wants to know about Adam giving Drew a hard time for his love of academia.

Jessie is asking a pointed question assuming that Adam’s thoughts on college line up with Dennis Prager’s, he’s asking what education Adam is inferring if not that.

Adam is now explaining he wants basic skills to be enforced, reading, writing and arithmetic but most importantly interests with a strong work ethic.

 

Adam is now explaining his take on education and college, Adam is citing a conversation with Mike August about the bill for a college experience, he’s explaining how the same amount of money wouldn’t be given in credit for any other reason to someone at that age, wow solid logic.

Adam is now bringing up the girl who went to Mike August’s business school from China, attending online and Alison is offering her own take on why that’s hard to pull off.

Steve has a quick personal anecdote and Adam is giving his take on paying 50-100k a year for his kids to get a college degree, Adam is explaining his take is not education for the sake of education, but for discipline.

 

Adam is summing up his thoughts and Alison has a nice closer.

 

3rd Caller Bridget she wants to know if Adam had never met Lynette but still had everything in his current career who would Adam have Babydoll contact for him to bone.

This is based on Adam’s riffing on the celebrity creeps who use their agents to get them young starlets to ejaculate in/on.

Steve is praising Adam for his quick hilarious response, Adam is mocking Bridget’s delivery and the legal pot in Colorado.

 

Adam is clarifying his take on why he wants to bone Scarlett Johansson, Alison has a funny mean retort and Steve is trying to clarify.

Adam is now joking about the idea of his agent contacting a woman and somehow she automatically agrees.

 

4th Caller Chris Wants to know if Adam ever worries about the true yet shitty things that come up from time to time on the podcast and if people get angry with him about how much he does reveal.

Adam is explaining the reaction one has when they feel like someone is watching or listening, he’s got a great workout analogy to make his point.

Alison has a great metaphorical example of Adam’s point and is touching on the truth of “I just thought you should know” being I want to watch you cry.

 

Adam is explaining how he is aware of who tattles on him and Alison wants to know about things he’s been forbidden from bringing up on air, Adam is saying he will have things he tells people not to bring up on air.

Adam is saying there is an unwritten rule in the broadcast community where you can ask someone to please not bring something up and it won’t get brought up, he’s being respectful and citing the honor of Howard Stern.

Adam is now doing a live read.

 

Alison’s news

Her top story is on the release of the Newtown police tapes, she’s saying they won’t be playing them.

Alison is describing the reactions to the recordings and Adam is reiterating his desire not to consume this type of material.

Adam says 911 calls don’t need to be public record and might one day result in a celebrity death even, he’s citing the Demi Moore incident.

 

Adam is on an epic tangent about toxicology reports and when they are and aren’t appropriate to be public knowledge.

Adam has a great analogy about the delay on toxicology reports for celebrities, his “pick a lane” on the idea of us being forced to know this info but then having to wait a long time to find out.

Adam is saying it’s akin to the delayed/lost appetizer when you’re out to dinner that you no longer want and Alison has a killer Amy Winehouse one liner.

 

Adam is now saying he’s eaten thousands of unwanted slices of key lime pie over the years due to the last minute dessert ordered at the table, Alison is once again agreeing and they’re totally bonding over restaurant observations.

Adam is further riffing about the eagerness he approaches the previously unwanted dessert that someone else orders, Alison is joining him with a comment about the heavy spoons at restaurants.

 

Adam wants to know the percentage of people that announce no dessert for me and then don’t eat any when someone else does, Adam wants to meet that steely eyed motherfucker.

Alison wants to know Meringue or Key Lime? Adam is now joking about Meringue and its connection to nougat and balsam.

Adam is saying that nobody knows what these things are and they’re not sold individually, BB has a nice “Brittle” addition.

 

Adam had some Lemon Meringue pie over the weekend and it was perfect, he’s saying it’s the last thing that no chefs have fucked with, it’s the same everywhere.

Adam has a great “Chutnized” one liner.

 

2nd Story is on the Westboro Baptist Church picketing the funeral of Paul Walker

Alison is reading the tweets from the church, Alison is mocking their predictability and Steve wants to know if anyone has picketed one of their family member’s funerals.

Adam has a killer Vin Diesel and Paul Walker retort and he’s now mocking the pro wrestling tactics of the church.

 

Adam just mentioned how Shirley Phelps used to call into the KLSX version of the ACS and how she would sing with her daughters.

Steve is now adding some commentary and they’re bringing up the rainbow painted house news story from a few months back, Adam has a hilarious misconception premise to mock the church.

Steve has a great point about the church and its ferocity, Adam is now bringing up his trip to the L.A. auto show in 2001 the same year as “The Fast and The Furious”.

 

Adam is now trying to explain the premise of the movie before it was released, how it was perceived by Adam and the general public.

Adam is saying that it was a bad name at one point and Alison has a nice “2 fast” reply, Adam is making a point about names and preconceptions.

Alison is wrapping the news and now Adam is doing another live read, complete with funny Westboro riff.

 

BB has a perfectly timed callback drop to earlier in the show, Alison’s excellent “what if…” drop.

Alison and Adam have great reactions, Adam is giving out the plugs and wrapping up the show.

BB has yet another closing drop from A-Rose that cracks Mike Dawson’s shit up, gold!

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