Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 11/25/2013 – David Alan Grier, Live from Hooters in Downtown L.A.
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – David Alan Grier, Live from Hooters in Downtown L.A.
Recorded 11-24-2013 – Release Date 11-25-2013
Production Number #1214
Dawson has a nice topical intro for Ace and he’s joined on “stage?” by Alison, BB and DAG making his 19th appearance on the show.
This is the first of the “Hooters” live shows, it will be interesting to see if these continue, Adam is now joking about August scheduling this opposite several other large traffic events in the area.
Adam is now giving some plugs for DAG and his possible mid-season replacement show, he’s now singing about his plans to make a trip to the Ferrari dealership, claiming he’s going to get Recaro seats for his Tahoe.
Adam is now asking Dag to cover the Paramount parking lot guard story about his custom rimless SUV and the pressure on a black man to add heavy/shitty wheels to their car that hinder performance.
Dag is now citing an experience selling a car to a man that he had decked out with rims for 3500$ back in the day.
Adam is now getting to Dag succumbing to the pressure and working Alison and her own community’s pressure to buy rims.
Adam and Dag are now commenting on the black audience members up front, Adam is mocking Dag’s wardrobe and he comes back with some seriousness.
Alison is asking Dag about how he pees in his current attire and Adam has a funny joke.
Adam is explaining that the one stereotype about black people would make up for all of the historical injustice if he was black.
Dag is now throwing out some 2nd hand facts from the Stern show about a survey on penis size.
Adam is now plugging Mangria via the audience members and DAG enjoying it, Dag mocks the stuff as he drinks more.
Adam is now mocking his version of the “you didn’t order it” low carb diet where he gets the healthy option and picks off his kid’s plates.
Dag is now jumping in to mock Adam for talking too much on his own show, pretending to thank him so he could stare at the Bronco’s game.
Adam is now mocking Dag for staring at his phone while he visits in studio and they have a funny back and forth about Blackberry devices, Dag’s offended about the implication he would sport one in 2013.
Adam is sharing the “you have a huge mouth in two ways” comment from Sonny and his newfound love of Scorpions and their “two homes”.
Adam is working Dag into the mix asking about his daughter, Dag says he has scorpions and black widow spiders in his yard, he’s now listing all the wildlife he’s spotted in his yard.
Dag is sharing how a night watchmen spotted a puma in Dag’s yard.
Adam has a hilarious veterinarian joke to explain Molly’s missing ear and a walk he took her for with the twins after being warned about a mountain lion by Lynette.
Adam has a hilarious “so what” response to what he would do if he saw a mountain lion, he’s wondering what he could possibly do.
Dag is now sharing his homeowner’s association meeting to discuss their mountain lion problem.
Alison is now sharing her 3rd attempt at an ok one liner about a hypothetical mountain lion stare down.
Alison is sharing the story of her pet duck that was eaten by a coyote and Adam has a funny duck kibble joke about her dad getting rid of the pet.
Adam is now saying he doesn’t need to hear from people about how “this was their land before it was ours” from the super blowhards who excuse their presence.
Dag has a nice callback to his year that grinds things to a halt, Adam pauses, possibly to take a sip.
Adam has a great “not this particular coyote” defensive argument for the people who blowhard to him.
Adam is now sharing his secret joy when she hears about someone’s little dog being eaten by coyotes and has a nice falcon scenario in an attempt to get some people to agree with his premise.
Dag is sharing his take on the “false hope” of the signs offering rewards for lost pets, Dag is initiating an improv scene of said phone call alerting the pet owners after Adam suggest it.
Adam is now calling back his classic “Wayans brothers” joke to mock Dag, David is now mocking Adam in return while giggling about it.
Dag is “and scene’ing” Adam who was going for another angle, Dag is mocking that halfhearted improv he initiated.
Dag wants to know what happened to football players with the recent controversy involving NFL players and hurt feelings, Adam and Dag are now joking about old timey football mocking serious head injuries with cute terms.
Adam is asking Dag about his current relationship status, he’s hinting at banging 22yr olds as Adam puts it, Alison is now asking Dag straight up and he’s refusing to comment.
Dag makes note that Adam went from 22-25, but he actually went 23-22-25.
Adam is now sharing his experience from last night with Lynette, Adam had killed his bottle of wine and noticed her TV remote was broken earlier in the day and decided to take the batteries out of her remote in an effort to preserve it for her morning viewing.
Adam is now sharing the “why do you always have to” reaction from Lynette and he’s now asking how many guys have experienced this kind of reaction.
Adam is saying women need to focus on the more important angle of these scenarios, Adam is offering up some defense for Lynette and how it must have appeared to her.
Dag is now picking on Adam’s nightly bottle of wine and they’re staging Adam’s impromptu intervention, this is gold!
Adam is offering his take on how uncomfortable that Saturday must be, Dag is working BB into the mix and he addresses Dag’s favorite guy at these interventions, the unprepared “why you doing this?” guy.
Dag is sharing the upside of rehab, the increased libido and Adam is sharing his take on the West Hollywood CA meetings and how they are prime for picking up a partner.
Adam is now explaining how sex plays into these meetings, hilarious quotes from Adam.
BB has a question about a Saturday night intervention and the best case scenario after it wraps, do the people all go hang out and drink?
Dag has a funny improv of two guys getting high off a joint after it wraps.
Adam is now suggesting a funny scenario and Dag is giving his take on seeing an episode of intervention where the subject went upstairs and got loaded before they began.
Dag is sharing how his .com is being squatted on and Adam is explaining how he was once too but was able to secure it back, he’s advising Dag to talk to the right people about it and has some funny white privilege comedy.
Alison’s News – Fake Teresa Edition
Alison is telling them about the hoot club she wants to join and how it’s her first visit to a “Hooters” restaurant.
Dag is admitting it’s his as well, he’s explaining why he prefers “the whole shit” and wants to “see a tampon string” from his stripper.
Alison wants to know if he actually has seen that, he’s citing the stripper who was lactating and now Adam is getting to the legendary 17x stab victim that was dancing for Dag in Vegas back in the Classic Loveline days while they were filming “Crank Yankers”.
Adam is now quoting his legendary comment telling Dag and Jimmy they must see “Siegfried and Roy” using his analogy about the people who made fun of their peers for seeing Elvis in 1976.
Dag is giving his take on the show and Adam is trying to explain his POV.
Alison wants to know if Adam feels vindicated now, he does indeed and has a funny explanation as to why and is now joking about the premise of a “heart of hearts” a smaller heart sliver of heart in your heart.
Adam is now sharing how they did have to go to “Olympic Gardens” to scrub some of the gay off and Dag is commenting on the hard titties stabbing him after the story of the one really bad occasion.
Adam is now joking about the idea of multiple stabbings or one event with lots of stabbings, Dag is mocking the scent of stripper titties, cologne, beer and Armenian sweat.
Her top Story is on the US agreement with Iran, she’s getting in depth on the deal and how it came to be.
She’s reading the details of the deal and the uranium enrichment requirements along with them being required to dilute the stockpiles.
Dag is now jumping into the throw the news off track, citing how it’s not appropriate to share this story at a Hooters and Alison has a key point about the people listening.
Adam is now combatting the people who comment on how the US is allowed to have nukes and shouldn’t police other countries from obtaining them.
Dag is now ordering Adam to spin this topic into a comedic scenario, Dag is jumping in to “next story” him and Adam is sharing the Iran Barkley factoid about him being half-brothers with Marvin Haggler.
Adam and Dag are now commenting on Sugar Ray Leonard and Dag is giving his take on the “No Mas” fight.
Adam is now getting to the guy mocking Freddie Roach during the behind the scenes EPK material, Adam was riffing on how he thinks maybe they cook these HBO 24/7 coverage by having each camp show up and leave late for practice, to encourage these encounters.
Adam and Dag are outraged about the guy mocking Freddie’s condition and then kicking him like a coward.
“Guy who cannot brush his own teeth, who brushes his teeth by holding his army steady and jumping up and down” – Adam mocking the guy who mocked Freddie and his medical condition, Adam wants to know why people aren’t making a bigger deal out of this incident in contrast to other possibly lesser news headlines.
Alison is now asking Dag about his sports related tweeting and he’s sharing an anecdote about Alonzo Mourning’s forehead vein.
2nd Story is on the various surveys designed to find the average size of men’s penises throughout the last century.
Dag is sharing a theory on women knowing better than anyone, Dag has a “some of us don’t” comment that I think Adam misinterprets and then defends for the wrong reason.
Adam and Dag are briefly touching the topic of guys hired to fluff women in pornography, Alison and Adam have a funny back and forth about this hypothetical job for Ace.
Alison is now sharing the facts behind the surveys and Alison seems delighted to say “a little smaller” in an unusual tone.
Adam has a theory on the biggest discrepancy, women and their weight on their Driver’s License vs. Men who report on their own penis size for surveys, Alison is a little hot on the mic trying to get in a joke about how she would never be found if her DMV stats were used to in APB to find her.
Dag wants to know if they’re doing a study on vaginal canal size as a measure of fairness and Alison has a quick no, she wants to know if men can really notice a difference and Dag is now getting to his own joke about measuring pussy.
Adam is now jumping in to share his “center of the anus to just past the tip” measurement technique for one to measure themselves, Dag is riffing his own even more lengthy set of instructions to get a proper number.
Alison is now listing the variety of measurement styles that are done and is asking Adam about stretching his junk.
Adam is once again referencing “The Man Show” bit where he and Jimmy were learning about the few procedures to surgically increase penis size.
Dag is sharing his own secondhand anecdote about Indian traditions of penile stretching, Adam is joking about cock weights and has a hilarious riff about drowning in his own pool.
Alison is now asking Adam for the science behind the weight system, they’re all joking about this but Arnold Schwarzenegger actually told Conan O’Brien he did this on a late 90’s episode of Late Night and suggest Conan adopt the technique.
Adam is now sharing a new theory “The More You have to Eat the Less You Fuck with Yourself” in reply to Dag talking about the body modifications of other cultures.
Adam has some amazing series of quotes and brilliant logic, Dag is sharing the cultural signifier of these modifications and Alison is asking the guys about the earlobes of people look like without the gauges in their ears after they’ve stretched their lobes out.
Alison has a killer bike messenger joke and Adam is now riffing about what the sight of those lobes does to him.
Dag is now asking Alison about anybody stuff on guys from her past that freaks her out, she just revealed that it was on a guy’s penis, Dag is giving her a hard time and she’s explaining herself.
Adam is now telling the story of the time he slept with a model who told him about her herpes after their encounter, Alison and Dag have telling and hilarious reactions.
Dag is carrying on as if Adam is admitting to herpes, forgetting about his 2000 wart exam on Classic Loveline where the aforementioned acetic acid.
Adam has a hilarious balls deep one liner and he’s getting into his reckless choices of youth, Dag is now giving a medium cum variant of his “making love” bit.
Adam is now bringing up his two tony nominations and the super stereotypical scenario that happened when he was in NYC and saw David performing in Race, the David Mamet play.
Adam is now going long form on the story, the single ticket, and the secret club for after show drinks with the Broadway elite, all of it.
Adam is getting to his backstage united colors of Kerry Washington and a Blue Man, Kerry is a big fan and Adam had forgotten about her approaching him, Dag has a nice callback to Adam’s Wayans brothers joke.
Adam is now at the actual performance and getting Dag to give a taste of it despite his hesitation.
Adam is getting to the hefty bill for everyone’s drinks at the secret speakeasy and name dropping his theater date John.
Adam is now on a Fran Tarkington riff, asking if he lost 4 super bowls and Adam is calling Dag the Fran of musical theater and Alison has a more appropriate Susan Lucci reference.
Adam is now doing a live read with BB the first place contender in the current Draft Kings competition, Adam’s right he’s going to win it all, how in the hell does he have this luck?
Adam is now interrupting the live read to react to the Denver game.
Dag is now teasing a taste of Teddy Pendergrass auditioning for “The Floaters”, Dag is claiming he hit up Mike August to be on the show recording on Halloween but never heard back.
That show was recorded with Bryan Callen who did the 2nd “The Floaters” Audition, had Dag been on that episode Teddy would have got 2nd crack at the audition.
Dag is now explaining why he can’t slap box titties to this tune, but he’s now doing it after Adam insists, this is comedy gold!
“Suck your big toe…chew on it like a potato chip baby” – Teddy
Adam is now in character as his producer/engineer character and Dag is jumping back in as Teddy, titty knots, skeet all on that titty meat etc. This is amazing!
Adam is interrupting and they’re on a great roll, Adam is now just trying to cool Teddy off sans music.
Adam is having BB play some of the original song to give Dag a better idea of what this riff is and how he should approach it, Adam is lecturing Dag on the lack of titty meat in the original song.
Adam is telling Teddy to make it clean, he’s doing a “don’t look at me, bitch don’t look at me” and Adam is walking him through the approach to the song.
“And then I would spank that puss till it’s black and blue, I would fuck the shit outta you…actual dookie…you would not float on….” – Dag as Teddy killing it!
Adam is now joking with Dag about the riff and Dag is mocking a lady up front who looks perplexed, Adam is now wrapping up the shows and giving out the plugs for Dag and his food blog, I actually have a parody food blog inspired by his.
Dawson is doing the read and it’s a wrap, Teddy finally tried out for “The Floaters” and the wait was totally worth it.
I can’t wait for an in studio session version!