Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 11/18/2013 – Dana Gould, Live from Borderline Bar and Grill

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Dana Gould, Live from Borderline Bar and Grill

Recorded 11-15-2013 – Release Date 11-18-2013

Production Number #1209

Show Page

Adam is opening the show with Dana Gould live on stage making his 21st appearance on the podcast, Adam is regaling them with some tails of fecal defiance as first told in Adam and Drew #96.

Dana inspired this by touching on the concept of fat in one’s diet effecting the bouncy of bowel movements, BB has an incredibly loud drop and apology, weird!

Alison is quizzing Adam on the details of his fecal dilemma and Dana is pitching his daughter as a guest and is citing a video of one of her legendary turds.

 

Alison is now having Dana recount how the video came into existence via her older sister’s IPad, Adam is now joking about German fetish stereotypes and Dana has a nice closer, poo tube.

Adam is now polling the audience for a show of anuses regarding swirling turd logs that are too heavy to pick a lane and leave a spherical skid across the bowl.

Adam is now riffing about female adoption from China with Dana and BB, Dana has a great old west postal service descriptor and now they’re referencing “Air Force One”, the 1997 movie with Harrison Ford.

 

Dana is now explaining how China has developed their cultural attitudes in light of their one child rule and fears of aging without care.

Dana is joking about the Vegas to Beijing hooker Chunnel to protect the earth from nuclear devastation from frustrated Chinese men who live sans pussy access.

Adam and Dana are joking about Adam’s “homemade” kids and now Adam is telling the crowd that they’re not too far away from the facility where he had to provide his sample, Alison has two killer one liners in response.

 

Adam is now getting into the ability of men to pound one out while on the go and in perilous scenarios, he’s going super in depth on his “sample” providing procedure and joking about old semen as why they wouldn’t let him whip up a sample at home.

Dana is now commenting on how the show’s topics have only progressed by a small margin from the opening poop talk, Adam is now joking about his pro race car driver and masturbator status as reasons why he shouldn’t have had to do his business at the fertility clinic.

Adam is now joking about the cast of characters one encounters at the facility along with the porn basket provided featuring many of the dead starlets of the 1980s.

 

Adam is getting to the huge shag carpeting that used to be abundant in these facilities that leave open gaps for one to be acutely aware of what’s outside the door.

Adam is joking about the waiting game he played trying to assume how long the normal person takes and Alison is quizzing him on why he was so eager to reach the normal zone.

Dana has a great “Tallman” reference and hilarious one liner from the POV of the character, gold!

 

Dana is now quizzing Adam on his twins and their psychic abilities, he’s referencing a guy he knows with twins and a spooky anecdote he was told about them.

Dana has a great one liner when Adam tosses out a rhetorical question, Adam is now sharing his own 2nd hand anecdote of spooky activities.

Adam is bringing up his hypocrisy regarding ghost sightings and the place of origin of the person sharing their ghost story, his New Orleans vs. Van Nuys riff.

 

Dana is now riffing about the premise of “Casper: The Friendly Ghost” and now Adam is digging into it with him and asking why a dead kid has to be the center of the plot.

Dana is getting to “Boo Berry” now and mocking the Count Chockula for not being a brother, a long way to go.

Adam is now mocking the mental illness associated with cereal mascots, they’re all riffing on the various icons and their nuttiness, Adam is joking about the Trix rabbit backhanding a kid.

 

Adam is joking about his own ability to remember trivial details from his childhood similar to Dana yet can’t remember what a noun is, hilarious schoolhouse rock joking and Adam doesn’t mention the guys actually guested on Loveline in 1996 and performed live in studio.

Dana is now saying he could never recite the alphabet backwards even sober and Adam is joking about a DUI wristband for this scenario.

They’re all now joking about how to avoid a DUI in the face of roadside backwards alphabet recital sobriety tests.

 

Adam is now bringing up his daughter and her new box of junk to sell for her girl scouts/brownie troop, Alison is trying to help Adam figure out which she’s enrolled in.

Adam has a hilarious dwarf tax return in response to the notion of miniature envelopes and BB has a solid “it’s lowercase” joke about a mini USPS.

Adam is joking about his kids and people around the house digging into Natalia’s cashew stash, he’s referencing “Blow” and “Permanent Midnight” with Dana, comedy gold!

 

Adam is now bringing up “The Floaters” the new classic bit as first discovered here in Illinois in a rented SUV, with Adam, Mike Lynch, Mike August, Dune and Myself.

Adam is now having the late great Huell Howser try out for the band via his chosen medium Dana Gould.

Dana is getting a preview of the song and some clips of “Bung Lao Su” and “Eddie” to truly “get” the premise of the bit before Huell tries out for the band.

 

Dana is incorrectly assuming this is his first appearance as Huell after his death but he actually did get an appearance in earlier in the year, possibly two as Dana has been on 3 times now in 2013.

Huell is now trying out for the band, great “sexy talk” about chicks with dicks and photographs of him and his mom.

Adam is now coaching him through it, this is pretty great!

 

Adam is now setting up a try out for “Tighten Up” by Archie Bell and The Drells.

Huell is now busting it out despite protesting and expressing a desire to try out for The Doors that Adam’s producer character quickly shot down.

Adam is now joking with Dana who’s doing a B-52’s riff, he’s in character as Fred Schneider trying out for “Tighten Up”, this is great!

 

Dana and Alison are having some fun over the “8 inches” the show topic has seemed to hover around and Dana brought us right back to.

 

Alison’s News

Her top story is on Alec Baldwin’s latest scuffle with a paparazzi douche, Alison is now quoting what Alec is accused of calling the man.

Adam and Dana have some great comedy over the word usage, Alison is now commenting on Alec’s defense of the comment and Dana is connecting it to movies censored for TV.

Adam is now bringing up “Smokey and the Bandit” and how he first observed the dubbing technique instead of bleeping, Dana is now bringing up and old Dave Coulier job replacing lines for clean TV edits of Eddie Murphy movies.

 

Alison is now reading how Alec is threatening to sue TMZ if they go ahead with the story of him using a gay slur, Alison has a great new drop for BB.

Adam is now joking along with her quote, focus on the cocksucking.

Adam is bringing up Alec’s propensity for cock verbiage and how one must leave behind the 17 year old version of themselves as they age into later manhood and how Alec doesn’t give that up, Adam explains it’s also why people might like Alec.

 

Adam is now explaining that this will now happen with gay, he’s on a “wee all pee in the sink right?” tangent, he’s explaining that gay can no longer be equated with negativity in any way, painting one’s self into a gay corner.

Adam is telling a story of being in Sun Valley for poly high school, he’s mocking their ripped parrot mascot and how “the fighting” being added to certain animals doesn’t work.

Adam has a great Cheetos analogy and Dana is getting to cougar mascots, Alison has a nice attempt at a follow up.

 

Adam is getting to the story from Sun Valley “Suck my Cock!” as yelled by a chick arguing for the softball field, Huell just made a cameo and Adam has a hilarious incredulous response to his claim of where he’s returning.

Adam is explaining why he feels bad for Alec and how people have created an industry out of harassing him and eliciting the reaction they want to then try to shame him.

 

2nd Story is on Toronto Mayor Rob Ford losing some of his powers

Adam is now joking about the mayor’s crack use and Dana is now getting to his defense of his activities and his delivery in the footage.

Adam and Dana are going super in depth on this, really entertaining!

 

Adam is now joking about how refreshing a large pink man addicted to crack in politics is for everyone, Alison notes the pink comment and agrees.

Dana is now saying that if Chris Matthews was the Hulk he would turn into Rob Ford, Adam wants to know what that would sound like and Dana refuses but then jumps in Chris and is going off on pilgrims and their love of buckles.

Alison is asking Adam if he smoked crack once and Adam says yes but he’s now using the possible Whitney Houston defense of it being pure cocaine, Dana has a hilarious reaction to Adam’s reasoning for why he could do it before work.

 

Adam is not mentioning the buddy as he has in the past, someone guesses Ralph and Adam is quick to point out it was well before ever meeting him.

Adam is now telling the story in full without mentioning names, he’s not yet referenced the bizarre pipe they were utilizing.

There it is, Adam is telling them about the fuel pipe fashioned into a crack pipe, Adam and Dana are joking about crack smokers making pipes out of anything, pumpkins, yarmulkes’ soaked in buttermilk etc.

 

This is a wonderful telling, nice work Alison.

She’s asking him about his day at work and Dana is getting a follow up in, Adam described 4 minutes of good feelings then misery.

Adam is now sharing the story of the time he dry walled over all the outlets when went to work stoned, Dana has a great reaction and Adam just referenced “Bad Ronald”, comedy gold!

Dana in studio for a “Bad Ronald” Commentary for Basic Cable Commentaries!

 

Adam has a great crack before work instead of weed “The More You Know”.

 

3rd Story is on a new NBC sitcom billed as “Golden Girls for Men” and she’s describing the premise.

Adam, Dana and Alison are all now commenting on the premise, hilarious Dinner roll comedy from Ace.

 

4th Story is on the new rumor about the faked death of Andy Kaufman

Adam is now saying there is only one successful faked death and its “Eddie and The Cruisers”.

Dana is now citing the two probable faked deaths, both seem likely and Adam is now asking for the entire Kardashian clan to fake their deaths.

Adam is forgetting about the Classic Loveline with Tracy Lords where he learned about the guy from “Manic Street Preachers” and his disappearance.

 

Alison is now reading the details of the actress who was hired and who orchestrated the hoax.

Adam is now giving his take to guys like Chris Farley who died like 10 guys died as opposed to people who slip away.

Great death of Chris Farley back and forth between Adam and Dana.

 

5th Story is on John Oliver leaving the Daily Show to host his own HBO series.

Adam is now bringing up the federal mandate for Oliver Platt to be in every movie for a 7 year run, he’s citing Lake Placid and the ShowTime series “Huff”.

Adam is now asking what happened to the guy and why his career is not as prominent as it once was, Alison is introducing Adam to “The Big C” and wrapping the news.

 

Adam is now doing a live read, at the behest of the crowd of course.

Adam is now plugging Dana’s new chart topping comedy CD and his own Mangria.

Adam is plugging Alison’s excellent show and even mentions Dave Anthony this week’s guest, at least Adam didn’t praise him to be nice as he usually does, that would have been extra humiliating for Adam and us listeners after everything Dave has publicly said about Adam over the past 5 years.

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