16 Nov Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 11/12/2014 – Alan Tudyk, Jim Margolis, Dan Frank, and Dr. Drew
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Alan Tudyk, Jim Margolis, Dan Frank, and Dr. Drew
Recorded 11-11-2014 – Release Date 11-12-2014
Production Number #1452
Adam opens the show to some musical lyrics (?) courtesy of the Dawson and Lynch, BB plays the #TopDrop of “Liar” from a fan who had his colon cancer cut out this week.
BB jokes about him not tweeting since and being dead, Adam is telling them about the new toilet in the studio that he wanted to christen.
Adam explains that Matt Fondiler has not yet been on the new can, Adam has a giant sub sandwich and Homer Simpson analogy.
Adam says it’s not officially broken in until Matt Fondiler has shit it up, Adam noticed some pee pee dribble on the front of the toilet seat.
Adam is back to this “Pee Pee” and BB thanks him for using the technical terminology.
Adam Carolla Piss Detective is on the case, he’s explaining how there are two bathrooms, one featuring a urinal, Adam comments that most people usually ignore the bathroom gender requirements.
This is mostly due to where the old studio was located in the building, to use the Men’s room you would be closer to the studio door, more noise etc. So everyone started using the bathroom furthest away from the sliding glass door, not sure it helped that much.
Alison shares she would prefer people to use the bathroom intended for them and not cover her ladies room seat with their urine.
Adam is now singing the praises of home urinal ownership, much like McDonalds for your school lunch, Alison and BB both agree with the analogy.
Adam says he thought he shared the love of urinals with all males, he’s trying to figure out who tinkled on the seat, who left the “pee pee” and he’s now sharing his detective work and has a funny joke about looking for a super soft place to land if he was a 9/11 hijacker, like landing in an open field.
Adam announced to the flock/demanded to know who left the pee on the seat, Adam is figuring out it could’ve been a not so well endowed man who left some pee pee.
Alison is now chiming in with her thoughts of ownership over the ladies toilet, Adam jokes about owning her while she’s using it.
Adam now has Caelan Biehn on mic explaining his 70/30 average for using the urinal vs. toilet.
Alison has a killer “depends on how dirty your cock is” quote that demands to be made into a drop, Adam is now asking Dawson about his bathroom use, he’s noticeably not into it and says his peeing in a stall 8 years ago at KLSX has nothing to do with this.
Everyone is now figuring it might be Dr. Drew, Alison has a funny magical urine reply/probable new drop and Adam is explaining the dual nature of Drew.
Adam brings up Drew’s beyond the scope of human politeness actions compared to his thoughtless moves leaving stuff left a mess without regard for others.
Adam is saying Drew’s like a chick and Adam wants Caelan to still have some collateral punishment for being honest about his actions.
Gary is now addressing the honor in this, saying Caelan didn’t think this was a mistake, Adam is bringing up the entitlement generation factor and folding Caelan into that because of his age.
Adam is welcoming Dan Frank to the show for his first phoner, Adam is asking him about the current state of the V.A. and comments on seeing the piece on ’60 Minutes’.
Adam is now telling Dan and the family about his grandmother’s work with veterans and he shares the infamous “Rimjob question at the dinner table” story.
Adam is asking Dan about the biggest issues facing veterans returning to civilian life.
Dan is telling the gang about the unemployment statistics of returning soldiers and how we can better ease these people back into society.
Adam is asking Dan about his personal military history and they’re going in depth about his aircraft and work in the NAVY, Adam of course marvels at the taking off and landing on an aircraft carrier.
Adam is bringing up the win/win situation of Dan working with these vets and now Dan is telling them about the return on investment in finding employment for veterans.
Despite his passion Adam has to wrap up with Dan because Drew is on the other line ready to talk about “pee pee”, he closes it out telling Matt to dictate his wishes to get the full tail hooking experience.
Adam is now quizzing Drew about his piss habits in the studio, Drew says that Gary is now at the top of his shit-list, saying this was an overreach of authority when he’s quite busy with other producers.
Drew says he doesn’t have a clear memory and predicts he may have used everything today, Adam gets Drew to admit he does pee in toilets without raising the lid, he mentions his prostate removal and the challenge, Adam tells him to get a Rubik’s cube.
Drew quotes Jimmy Kimmel and something he loved on air, Alison tells Drew that all signs point to him, he accepts it, Adam jokes that he was initially trying to pin it on a black teen, but it was a little out of reach, holy shit!
Adam is now addressing the wishy washy “sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t” wild fluctuations in life, he doesn’t buy that people are as catch as catch can as they claim, Alison has a period/tampon in her vagina analogy.
Alison brings up her curiosity about Drew’s missing prostate, Adam is now further exploring it with her and he’s bringing up men’s excuses for poor hygiene and how they hide behind their “aim” which could be impossible.
Adam is now trying to do the math on the physics of a 100% perfect piss and why people choose to piss on the seat and then wipe it up, it’s still more work.
Adam hypothesizes that the people who leave the pee on the seat who say they clean up after themselves don’t actually do it, Adam is once again bringing up the KLSX incident form nearly a decade ago.
Alison is now asking about the toilet split, Dawson defends it as a piss channel.
Adam is now doing his live read for Smart Mouth
Adam is saying he now takes straight hits of the stuff, he doesn’t even mix it.
Gary is helping out and telling Adam about the mints they sent them in addition to the product.
Adam brings up the ‘Family Guy’ joke that referenced his name, Adam explains the plot of the episode and they play the clip.
Adam is bringing up the feeling of being made fun of in a complimentary way it doesn’t make him feel bad, it makes him feel good.
Adam is happy they brought him up as just a reference, Adam is breaking down his reaction and why it doesn’t have a sting to it.
Adam is now explaining that their mayor is Eric Garcetti and he apparently said something Adam has been saying for some time, he is explaining the plan for reduced usage of electricity.
Adam quotes Gary who asked off air how Adam can yell at guys who are agreeing with him, they play the clip of the mayor announcing the city’s plan.
Adam is now going off about traffic and how the mayor not addressing the traffic the same way is why he’s pissed, Adam has a killer one liner about their old mayor Villaretardo and the Chupacabra taking him away.
Adam, Alison and BB are now further going off on traffic and the reasons for why it might be looked at differently from electricity waste.
Adam cites the facts about how all men are destined to get prostate cancer at some point and weaves it into his “universally effects everyone” analogy.
Alison has a great one line merging of the human and centaur references.
Adam is telling BB about seeing Liam Neeson in the movie ‘Non-Stop’
Adam is doing a Lifelock ultimate live read with Alison.
Adam is now breaking down the plot of ‘Non-Stop’ and stopping at the cellphone screen that displayed “555” in place of a contact name or “unavailable” and explains various scenarios where they don’t have to address the fake number.
Adam is complaining about the fake 555 designation bumping him and reminding audiences they’re watching fiction.
BB has a great idea about using a real number as a viral marketing promo, its perfect logic and require 5min of internet use to setup, but nobody seems to do it.
Adam is now trying to get Gary to screen cap the scene, he’s throwing it to break.
They’re back from break with Alan and Jim making their ACS debuts, they come back to a clip of the rarely played ‘Great Moment in Local News’ intro.
Adam says Alan’s last name wrong and is asking about the pronunciation, Alan says he uses a “liquid u” when pronouncing his own last name.
Adam apologizes and brings up a guy who was using a single umlaut, Adam is plugging the show and gets a funny reply from Alan fake correcting him.
Adam is now trying to recall what birthed ‘Adult Swim’ into the current landscape, he thinks it was Family Guy, their reruns made it hugely popular but it was actually Mike Lazzo and his work in the early days of ‘The Cartoon Network’ that led to that block of programming.
Adam recalls doing ‘Space Ghost Coast to Coast”, he did the show with Dr. Drew and solo, Space Ghost was also on Loveline, Adam waxes poetic about the current landscape for television and web work, let alone improv comedy in comparison to when he was coming up.
BB brings up Adam and Alan’s shared credit in ‘Wreck it Ralph’ and is now marveling at Alan’s vocal imitation for the movie, he tells them it was their idea to do the voice of Ed Wynn.
Adam is now riffing with Alan about Ed vs. Phil Silvers, Adam has a funny young pussy joke that Alison follows up with a mention of Alan’s work in ‘Frozen’.
They’re now playing a clip of Ed Wynn, Adam is bringing up Hans Conried he’s recalling and joking about the man’s work, asking Gary to pull up an example.
They’re back to plugging their new show, explaining how it differs from something like ‘The Daily Show’ and Adam is asking about how easy it to now get good talent to participate in web content and smaller comedy cameos.
Jim is telling them about working with Bill Ray Cyrus, he showed up late overwhelmed with the amount of dialogue he needed to remember.
Adam asks how he ultimately did with the script, Adam is now playing a clip of Hans Conried and tells them about buying his old house, Adam says he was pissed with him for covering up the original paint of the house and references his love for Asian art.
Adam is now mocking people who love Asian things, he’s explaining how it ultimately ends up towards the insulting.
He’s further describing how Hans fucked up the original wood and design of his classic home and why everything was painted blank white.
Adam describes the kids of Hans who refused to come pick up his statue, he then told them his intent to bust it apart with a sledge hammer, they then over course replied immediately with outrage after months of ignoring the requests for them to come pick it up.
Adam describes and mocks the sculpture.
Alison’s News
Adam is now having Gary scroll through the IMDB page for Hans, they’re all commenting on the list of credits.
Adam says he found ‘Loveboat’ and now TiVos the show, he brings up how Ted McGinley was brought in towards the end of the show.
Adam is joking about how he shows up to mop on every TV show, Adam is describing the special episode he ended up watching, with a heavy sexual abuse theme.
Adam is now asking why a super bummer freaked out story and mocks the “all is well” ending, he understands we all must evolve our thinking and sympathies but finds this trite and bizarre.
Loveboat is not the place for these plotlines, Adam is commenting on how animated Alan was during his description, Adam apologizes to him oddly.
Adam is asking why they felt like they had to wedge afterschool special topics into the shows of previous generations, Adam wanted to escape to some comedy and ended up with Tracy Nelson being raped by her stepfather (on the show).
1st Story Alison is now explaining the full details on what happened to Joan Rivers and the “deficiencies” they need to address at the practice where she was put under.
Jim is asking about the vital signs and the role in Joan’s death.
Alison is now sharing the statement from Melissa Rivers attorneys, Adam is now joking about the idea of losing a parent “a little bit early” and how if it involves a payday, it’s not that awful.
Adam jokes about being in the courtroom for the eventual lawsuit, “struck down a mere 50 years after her prime” now Adam is explaining that you get older and realize that everyone’s kind of a fuck up.
Alison is sharing her discomfort with being put under and general anesthesia, she says to never get general outside of a hospital if you can avoid it.
Jim has a funny yelp one liner.
2nd Story Is on Churro Oreos, Adam is explaining the churro conversation he was having off air about the cream filled churros his son enjoys.
Adam is now going in depth on the artificial food choices presented to consumers and aimed at kids, everyone weighs in on Oreo cookies.
3rd Story is on the ‘Shy Bladder’ DirecTV commercial done by Rob Lowe, Alan wants to know why he’s doing an ad, and Alan brings up Adam’s earlier point about everyone doing every project possible.
Alan is protesting people accumulating wealth in the face of artistic integrity, Adam explains the A lister logic and why agents are dying for their clients to do these TV commercials.
Alan is riffing about this trend, brand awareness and other non-artistic business pursuits that have almost completely overtaken Hollywood, he brings up the Beyoncé DIRECTV ad, and BB is giving his take on the commercials.
They’re all now riffing about shy bladders, Adam tells them about ‘The Man Show’ wheel of destiny bit where he peed on a guy’s wallet, killer one liners explaining the reasoning behind it to Alan and Jim.
Adam is now ranting in favor of people suffering in quiet shame, instead of wiping their peanut allergy feces under everyone’s nose.
Adam is now saying if you remove peanuts from airplane, he wants an upgrade, fucking Jerky, the person who pays is the bitch who called into the southwest flight and got the peanuts removed.
Adam is now riffing about having his assistant blow peanuts up the urethras of these people, Alison is asking who is really offended by this and Adam tells the people behind the shy bladder association (?) to fuck off.
Adam is now listing the flow chart for pee and poop issues and how embarrassing they are, Adam is now in love with his “if you remove the peanuts you must add Jerky” rule.
Adam is now doing an E-Voice live read, I’m sure Alan loves this. Someone is breathing weirdly into the mic, like they’re rubbing their neck and exhaling out their nose at the same time.
4th Story Is on texting while driving, Alison is now explaining the statistics of a recent survey about dangers and texting.
Adam is saying the cars are all just going to have to get the technology where breaks are auto applied when you’re approaching stationary objects.
Adam is saying that most of the problems with texting are related to hitting other cars when traffic suddenly stops, that weird breathing is still going on.
Adam shares how his wife’s Audi did the breaking for him while he was en route to a show.
Alison wants to know if works well enough to rely on it all of the time, Adam is now bringing up saw stops and BB’s father in law’s former power tool shop.
Adam describes how a saw stop works and will only leave you with a nick on your finger, BB says that the CEO will come out and test it and demonstrate the safety.
Alison asks how the technology works, Alan asks if it breaks and he’s told it does but it’s not too expensive to fix.
Adam is now arguing against the very technology he was just praising for the false sense of security it can provide.
Adam is now telling Alan and Jim about the moose semen airbags idea he had to make people drive with more caution.
Adam is being vague about whether or not the moose Jizz bags save your life, he doesn’t want even just that tidbit to give people a hint of false security.
Adam is now riffing about seeing the guy by the side of the road covered in moose Jizz.
5th Story Is on a woman who was arrested for crystal meth possession while wearing a crystal meth themed shirt, Adam asks where you get that shirt and they’re all riffing on her appearance and arrest.
Alison wraps the news as Adam brings up Ginger Lynn, Adam is now asking about guys who are exclusively into dating porn stars and how weird it seems to him.
“But you’re banging and she’s got a belly button full of Jizz but you haven’t came yet, doesn’t that seem a little off-putting”- Adam on dating pornstars.
Adam is now riffing about Charlie Sheen smoking while he “makes love” and Alison is giving her take on his probable “sport fucking” Adam is now riffing about treating a vagina like a rental car, Alan is having hilarious off mic reactions.
Alison is bringing up Adam’s stripper girlfriend, Alan asks Adam some follow up questions about it, Adam is clarifying his gal was classy and he’s telling them about her club.
Adam is now saying that they played “classy songs” and he says that ‘Misty Green and Blue’ (Love to Love) by UFO and describes the type of strip dancing that took place there, not like today with the prolapsed vulva on display.
Jim is now suggesting they use prolapsed vulva as a stripper name if they ever do another bit set in a strip club on their show.
BB is now playing what sounds like a live version of the UFO song and Adam is doing some commentary mocking it, nice reactions across the board.
Adam says they’re now going to listen to this, Dawson has the superior studio version and Adam goes to a live read.
Adam is doing a Draft Kings live read, you can hear what sounds like Alan doing an exhale of disapproval into the mic.
Dawson is now playing the studio version and Adam mocks the probable 4 minute musical interlude at the beginning of the song.
Adam is now riffing with the guys about the song, Adam is doing the plugs over the song and brings up the Sheraton hotel deal, Adam is doing his ‘Some Go, Some Blow!’ announcer voice.
Adam is refusing to go anywhere until the song starts, Dawson gives them the actual title of the song ‘Love to Love’ and Adam wraps up the show after confirming everyone’s UFO cherry was popped (gross).
BB closes the show to a great drop of Alan busting out his impression from earlier.