Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 11/12/2013 – Bill Callahan and Robert Patrick Lewis

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Bill Callahan and Robert Patrick Lewis

Recorded 11-11-2013 – Release Date 11-12-2013

Production Number #1204

Show Page

Adam is opening the show with a nice intro, getting some shitty song lyrics wedged “in his bean man” and BB has some classic A-Rose from the episode with Dave Hill from last year for his #TopDrop.

Gary mixed up Adam’s plugs for his dates and now Adam is comparing him to a doctor who misdiagnoses someone and how he’s going through the reactions someone has upon learning they’re dying and then not dying, the relief has led to Adam only wanting to “squeeze the flunky” out of him.

Adam is setting up the “Air Force One” event with Kevin Costner, funny joke about the 1997 film and BB steps in with some legitimate praise for the movie in addition to Adam’s.

 

Adam is saying he thinks he’ll get Costner on the ACS and will explain how “Waterworld” is also underrated.

Alison observes that Adam’s WWW. Delivery is akin to her guitar shredding noise.

Adam is asking BB about the various Mcconaughey films confusing him and teasing the review for “Dallas Buyers Club”.

 

Gary has an update on the app and Adam has a funny question for him in light of his booking mix-up.

 

Q and Ace

Adam is setting up the July 2002 call with Kendall where a boy wanted advice to ask a girl out that led to a hilarious improv with Adam, almost as funny as the kid who Adam told to put his balls on the phone that one time.

BB is wrongly saying this was before his time, but he started screening the phone calls in May of 2002 and possibly even screened Kendall’s phone call, BB is now saying he doesn’t remember it but implying this happened often, nope.

Adam is now calling for Gary to “Hit Giovanni Somehow” this is the part where I came in.

 

Superfan’s Side of the Story: I was contacted while on a date in Bakersfield by Producer Gary with Adam’s exact quote about the loveline call in question.

I had thought my phone was in the car but the email alert had gone off without catching my attention, I checked the phone 10min or so after Gary sent the email, an unusually long delay for me.

I then frantically began searching for the call, without my laptop and archive at hand I had to use the internet and my old notes and uploads, I was then able to direct Gary to the file on the archive of Adam’s work I left at the studio.

 

I wish I was able to get it faster, on an early Adam and Drew show I was able to get a clip sent from my phone while in a snow storm in less than 10-15min.

 

Adam is now setting up the premise of the call and explaining how the kid is probably in rehab or a registered sex offender by now.

 

1st caller Holden is 16 and has a crush, he wants to know how to get the courage to ask a girl out.

Adam has a funny joke about using old English to come onto a woman.

Adam is now getting to the notion of thinking of asking someone out as brave or scary, why all the courage?

 

Adam says women are probably flattered even if they don’t want to go out with the guy, Alison seems to agree.

Adam has an old car analogy about people leaving offers to buy your car not being offensive but flattering, hilarious ‘fuck the shit out of my car” comment.

Alison is bringing up James Gunn, my internet chum who I first got booked on the ACS in 2009 after learning of his Adam and Loveline fandom.

 

Alison has a sensible take and Adam shuts up Holden in order to let her finish, Holden is now potted back up and Adam is telling him to stop thinking in terms of scary.

BB has a perfectly timed A-Rose drop and Adam is telling Holden to step outside of his little body, another perfectly timed A-Rose drop from BB, nice!

2nd Caller Brad, Adam is launching into a live read and Brad totally changes its course with a quick comment.

Adam and BB are mocking the idea of this being a read while Adam does a read and crinkles paper, Alison is in the mix too, gold!

Brad wants to share a story after complimenting the gang, he was working a wedding as the videographer and witnessed the bride and groom get a parking ticket while fully decked out and with all the wedding junk on their car.

 

Adam is sharing his own experience with parking enforcement and their unreasonable attitudes, he’s citing the Man Show filming with the interrupted woman heading for the parking meter.

Adam is now waxing poetic on a stress free life where parking enforcement is as lousy at their job as every other faction of government.

Adam is now mocking the idea of a wedding videographer and the great expense to hire one, saying you could just give one of the guests or a kid a video camera and have them shoot it.

 

Adam is saying the only time you watch a wedding video is to see someone who has died or in a super grim pre-suicide and post-divorce scenario.

Adam is now revealing the utter revulsion he experienced when he first learned that his dad Jim was a virgin before meeting his mother Kris and was “intoxicated by the sex”, much like this Superfan learned about his own “Chris and Jim” parents, yuck!

Brad is telling Adam that he’s right, he makes a lot of money for something people don’t really use, wow!

 

Adam is now trying to figure out the over under on watching the wedding video once vs. daughters wearing their mother’s gowns, which actually happens more of both unlikely scenarios.

Adam has a quick mention of Jimmy Kimmel paying Big Tad to jump into the pool nude at his wedding.

 

Robert Patrick Lewis is calling in from deep in the heart of Afghanistan for his 2nd ACS appearance, Adam is asking him about his current staffing and the previous work he did as a special operations medic.

Adam is quizzing him about the helicopters used in service and he’s got a freaky anecdote along with some practical info.

Adam is quizzing him about his various medals, focusing on the Purple Heart.

Adam and BB have a funny riff about “dental rape” and Adam mocks BB’s “yes and” work.

Adam has a great made up impromptu Toby Keith song, comedy gold!

 

Adam is now riffing about surgeons refusing to remove bullets and other things from bodies, he’s plugins Robert’s book and just found he got paid for the recording.

Dawson is plugging the book and saying hi to Robert.

Adam is now riffing about the lack of “comfort women” in the Middle Eastern theaters of war in comparison to the Euro and Asian battlefields of yore, Adam is now saying goodbye to Robert.

 

Adam is now joking about sending the Kardashian gals on a sex mission for the USO, servicing all the soldiers as they lack any other desirable nor discernable artistic talent, he’s now throwing some of the “Real Housewives” into the mix.

Some more Toby Keith comedy and Alison is still in the mix too, this was a great phoner, connection wise and content too.

 

3rd Caller Joel, he’s getting some light mockery from Adam about his NFL team and wishes for Payton Manning to lose one of his knees during a game.

Joel just told Adam he named his fence after Adam and now he wants to know what kind of wood and materials, Joel is telling Adam he told him to use the dog-eared redwood and still laughs about it.

Adam is joking about the idea of a being a fence, hilarious graffiti and owl shit comedy.

 

Adam is now sharing his tales of woe about growing up surrounded by pools without his own.

Joel is currently enrolled in Jr. College and is trying to pursue a career in radio, he’s not learned much so far and wants Adam’s advice.

Adam is sharing his own take on attending Jr. College and the 13 semester wait to get on air at the school, Adam is saying one of the last things he did before meeting Kimmel was a drive over to Pasadena City College trying to find the college radio station.

 

Alison recommends getting into Podcasting, Adam is asking for an update about the Loveline call and Gary is informing him this is as the point I got back to him with confirmation the call exists and I know what it is based on Adam’s limited description.

 

Hooray for Baldywood

BB saw Dallas Buyers Club, he’s giving the info on the production and participants along with the plot.

There is a great mix up involving Mexico, medication and contracting AIDS.

Adam and Alison have some great points about the data regarding infections and just when exactly homosexual activity comes into the mix despite the protests from the infected.

 

BB is praising Mathew McConaughey for his epic run of work as of late, totally making up for his early 00’s romantic comedy run.

Adam is now sharing his DeNiro theory on dumb guys who can perform well on screen, Adam is citing his 1999 “U-571” Loveline interview with Matthew and his kind of doofus affect.

Adam is now suggesting Jimmy Hendrix was probably a dullard and asking why we can’t also have actors who aren’t that bright just like every other type of artist.

 

The Super Savanty – Alison, BB is now suggesting Matthew has a chance to be nominated for both Best Actor and Supporting Actor at this year’s Academy Awards.

BB is now asking if Jared Leto is or is not a douchebag, he was actually on Loveline in 2005 two months after BB was fired for his unofficial employee blog containing details he wasn’t supposed to share(total bullshit reasoning).

Adam liked Jared and he was fairly pleasant despite his history, much like John Mayer in 2004.

 

BB gives it an A- and Alison makes notes of the minus, he’s very prone to always pointing out a flaw and never giving a perfect A.

BB explains his reasoning and Adam is now launching into a live read.

Adam is asking for an update on the Classic Loveline call, Gary is dealing with a miscommunication with the staff regarding the edit of the call as I was unable to edit down for them but did give them exact time stamps.

 

They’re now returning from break to some of Bill’s music, Bill is joining them in studio for his ACS debut.

Adam is quizzing him about his residency and what life is like in Texas, Adam wants to know if it’s a requirement of his genre to reside there like Indy car drivers in Indianapolis.

Bill is saying he is completely ignorant of those pressures and likes to do things for him, he’s got a great “podcast capital of the world” comment that BB runs with.

 

Adam has a solid port-o-potty riff about his status and what it brings to a location, Adam is now getting into the Austin scene and the explosion in popularity.

Bill has been there for about 10 years and has seen the real estate and population blossom exponentially in the past decade.

Adam is now riffing about the “Cool pilgrimage/CoolGrimage” to Austin and Adam is teasing his interviewing process to ensure people are cool enough to live in Austin, their cool credentials.

 

Bill doesn’t have a website and Alison along with Adam have a great reaction to his lack of an internet presence.

Bill is directing them to his record label and Adam has a funny a twitter handle joke for him.

Adam is quizzing him about his touring and now he’s got word the clip from the July 2002 call is ready for air.

 

Adam has a great callback to the land in Austin purchase from a decade ago, Gary has the details and now they’re playing it.

Everyone’s reactions are priceless, BB attempts a strained “that’s not you” incredulous delivery joke in response to Adam’s character work.

Alison’s reactions are the best and this is the source of the “I love a man in his 50’s with bad skin” description of Tommy Lee Jones from Ace.

 

Adam’s own commentary on his work is quite nice and he closes it out with a quick thank you to me after BB’s interruption mocking Adam’s work on the improv.

Alison has some good points about how the call brought her back to her teenage years on the home phone.

 

Alison’s News

She’s got a mention about Bill’s novel, actually a novelette that’s about the same as a novella.

Alison is quizzing him about the premise, fake letters to a different person and he’s got a funny reply about the page count, nice joke.

 

Her top story is on the new Sunday Amazon package delivery and she had the same reaction I did to this story.

Adam is now reacting to this news and giving his take on the nonstop consumer cycle, he’s saying it’s not making people happier and Bill has a knowing chuckle.

Adam is sharing the diminished joy in receiving packages and his own 0-31yrs of age without receiving anything in a box, despite one example from a childhood pal’s crash helmet.

 

Adam is now suggesting a “box of the month” club relating to his earlier live read for a “dollar shave club” for every product you use for life.

Adam is still riffing on his box of the month club and Alison is helping him flesh out the business plan.

“For the man who needs nothing” – Adam Carolla, comedy gold!

 

She’s further explaining how this new delivery option will be a boost the failing USPS and provide new revenue.

Adam doesn’t know if he needs to see the mailman on a Sunday, hilarious reenactment with BB.

Alison wants to know what is appropriate dog walking attire, she can’t quite get to outdoor PJ’s and Adam suggest adding a robe makes it ok.

 

They’re now talking about old lady names that won’t ever make a comeback.

 

2nd Story is on a condemned child killer who wants to donate his organs to his remaining family.

Alison is reading the details and asking everyone’s take.

Adam has a funny riff about donation and the death penalty being applied, Adam is now giving his take on organ donation and the lack of PSA’s about it.

 

Adam is now citing the weird conversations about why people aren’t comfy donating their parts posthumously and he’s breaking down the logic of not being an organ donor.

Adam wants to know why there is not a big push for this cause and has a “get out of one ticket” theory he was riffing on for his next book.

Adam has a “we’ll knock 5 off” rule for DUI Breathalyzer tests and arguing against people who don’t like incentivized for people signing up.

 

Adam is now riffing about the eyes of a murderer and Alison has a funny reply.

Adam is now suggesting we harvest everyone put to death, part it out like a car.

Alison has info on the drugs used to kill him and how they won’t harm the organs unlike the drugs of past executions in the state.

 

Alison wants to know if Adam would want to know about the origin of his parts, he’s got a great “Gay Eye” style riff about why he would only want to know if they were a good person.

Adam has another comment mocking “The Change Up” for the 2nd time in as many weeks.

 

3rd Story is on the death of Blockbuster

Alison is sharing the details of the fifty stores that will remain open as they are franchise locations.

Adam is joking about this as karma for them not having a porn section in their stores.

 

Adam is pitching a new book akin to his other idea for the black proms of Dade county in the 1980’s, he’s now suggesting a coffee table book of the strange impromptu porn sections of all these local video stores working with severely limited space.

Alison and BB both have some childhood memories of these sections and Adam is now mocking the posture one must take upon walking into the porn section.

Adam is sharing the legendary “Spank Me, Fuck Me” story from Classic Loveline, his attempt to get a specific porn title and the misunderstanding on the phone.

 

Adam thinks he never got to see it but adds a caveat that maybe Ron brought him a copy or sent him one after hearing the story, which I think is accurate.

This was from a 1998 Loveline appearance by Ron and “Serenity” his co-star, this was discussed on Classic Loveline a few times, in 1998 with Kathy Griffin, 2002 and 2005.

 

4th Story is on NBC winning the rights to broadcast the first commercial space flight of his upcoming service.

Adam has a funny joke about Alison’s comment about being so close, he’s now getting into the “X Prize” and why it’s such a smart idea to spurn innovation and invention.

Gary is proving the history of the X prize and Adam is now asking about the period of time spent in zero G, he’s dreaming of the vomit comet and not whatever this is.

 

Alison is wrapping the news, Adam is doing a live read with superfast Dawson legalese.

BB is playing the new spank me, F me drop from Adam, and Adam is giving out the plugs and wrapping the show.

BB closes the show with Adam’s made up Toby Keith song dedicated to the masturbating troops in the Middle East.

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