Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 11/10/2017 – Marlon Wayans
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Marlon Wayans
Recorded 11-09-2017 – Release Date 11-10-2017
Production Number #2200
Dawson has another ‘Toolbox Talk Up’ this time with some ‘Night Ranger’ before Adam opens the show to a solid “He took a tour of my house earlier today, still has a contact high” and Adam welcomes the gang to the show.
BB plays Gina’s ‘I’m proud to be a merkin” clip as today’s #TopDrop and Adam explains he wanted to get to the chorus of the ‘Night Ranger’ song.
Adam is now adding another thing to the list of names and titles that sound too similar/close.
Adam says “cheers and jeers” and BB weighs in with Gina also commenting on it, Adam asks them to tell him about a first-class ticket and some upcoming travel.
Adam is now making a point about the dilemma of paying for first class tickets for a flight that takes the same amount of time as the economy seat.
Adam is contrasting the $1600 vs. $184 cost for the seat on the upcoming flight to Florida for the cruise, they’re just booking this now? Less than a month out? My god …
Adam is using the first class perk of being able to board first and how that doesn’t necessarily encourage him, he’s got a hilarious donkey ride analogy to make his point.
Adam shares the 50/50 ratio for being offered a drink before the flight takes off, Adam says for 1600 he may sit down at a bar and order a bloody Mary and possibly get it about 50 minutes later.
Adam uses a sports bar with the same delay for his analogy to determine if this ticket is worth it.
Gina says if you don’t have an 85% chance for enjoying that experience, BB makes a point about the aircraft configuration and lie flat seating.
Adam is bringing up “comfort plus” which are all derivative of United’s “Economy Plus” seating, Adam says he just goes right the f through ‘em when boarding a flight.
Adam noticed that he did have the comfort plus extra legroom but August didn’t get his on the last trip as he had an obstructed seat, yet they still paid for it.
Adam shares how they got a $50 voucher instead of a refund when Matt Fondiler wrote to them, unaware if he was to write back they will refund the seat fee and give you a $50 voucher.
BB is sharing his reaction to the same experience and dealing with Delta.
Adam brings up how he lets people shoot movies in his house and he cites the ruined rug that the crew claimed they didn’t tear while filming a movie there.
Adam mocks their “split the cost of the rug” reply and BB makes a great point about one person not being able to know all of the comings and goings of all of the various crew members.
Matt has the email exchange with the airline, Adam asks how much of life is based on “I hope you have a massive stroke” and he brings up Ray and his request to come do some bits on the morning show.
Tommy John – Summer’s gone but the sweat is not going away, I got a little kiln going on down there Edition
Matt is now reading the Delta letter response, which is a pre-formatted reply letter sent by an offshore agent, which Gina correctly predicts.
BB suggests calling in, Gina says this could all be cleared up with a tweet.
Adam jokes with “window seat of negligence” and Dawson has the line Adam wanted from the Chorus of the song ‘When You Close Your Eyes’ and Adam clarifies he wants the chorus, not that specific line.
Dawson is now 0 for 2 and Gary is on the mic and he shares how using twitter would be better, Adam doesn’t like being that person for some reason.
Adam likes to think of himself as Rosa Parks of Comfort Plus customers and who would prefer to fix it the super inefficient and expensive slow way.
Adam says he’s wasted more of his money trying to get Matt to try and get $20 back from Delta, Adam is making a point about why he’s trying to get them to make things right, it’s the principal.
Adam is now getting some mixed-up information from Gary about “Cheers and Jeers” and ‘Tears for Fears” when he was simply trying to find the origin of the term “jeers.”
Gary is now getting the correct information as Adam scolds him about clearing these mistakes up as they keep happening while BB plays a ‘Tears for Fears’ music bed.
Adam is now trying to learn the origin of “cheers” and he tells him to go past that definition to cheer/cheers as a term.
Adam makes a point about the term “jeers” being invented 200 years after cheers and they move on.
SimpliSafe – All you have to do is get the simply safe system, Dawson has it at his new place Edition
BB brings up the origin of the band name ‘Tears for Fears’ which comes from Primal (Scream) Therapy and Gary is now playing a clip of Neil deGrasse Tyson and Dr. Hibbert from ‘The Simpsons’ which they all marvel at.
Adam makes a point about how he hears these things and presumes everyone has brought them up and Gina switches gears and shares how she got some summer squash in her take out order.
“not only does it have no flavor it receives no flavor” – Adam on summer squash
Adam explains squash is like a Scotchgarded seat or a car covered in a protective coating and he riffs about the bygone era of “punish the product” commercials.
Adam says Flex Seal Phil is keeping the flame alive and so is the ex-army Ranger guy with the super powerful flashlight infomercial.
Adam makes a point about being frozen in a block of ice with his flash light, he can’t fathom a scenario where the person isn’t killed while the flashlight is surviving next to their dead body.
Gary has the indestructible flashlight, the ‘Tac Light’ branded model with the “frozen in ice and survives boiling water” examples.
Adam jokes about being boiled alive in a brewery accident with BB chiming in.
Adam is now having them play the rest of the commercial, Adam says he’s not good enough for that flashlight and can’t fathom living another 10k hours where he’ll need to use a flashlight, let alone 100k hours.
Gary has the math on how many years of walking Phil would use up the bulb in the flashlight, Adam says someone should tell the inventor/spokesman that they’re intimidating regular folks.
Rotten or Fresh – The Rotten Tomatoes Game
Adam shares his reaction to Gina’s summer squash photo and his thought on whether or not he could make squash illegal if he was in charge or president.
Adam is now suggesting a squash poll and makes it clear, no mash or anything fancy, just sliced squash.
1st Movie ‘Requiem for a Dream’ (2000)
Gina and BB both loved it, Adam didn’t see it and they move on after making their guesses.
2nd Movie ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ (2000)
BB jokes about Adam taking the lead on this one, none of them are aware of the movie nor that actress Zoe McLellan was slapped during a fight scene with Jeremy Irons after she made a choreography mistake and hit him with a stick.
They all make their guesses and mock the genre and then they move on.
3rd Movie ‘Scary Movie’ (2000)
BB loves this movie and they all make their guesses, BB mentions this being Anna Farris’ debut film.
4th Movie ‘I’m Gonna Git You Sucka’ (1988)
Gina says this was a popular movie in her household growing up, BB says it’s not great and Adam recalls that his Groundlings castmate Eve Plumb had a small role in this movie.
They all make their guesses.
5th Movie ‘Above the Rim’ (1994)
BB hasn’t seen it, he has scene ‘He Got Game’ from 4 years later.
Adam is trying to recall if he heard good things about this movie.
Adam remarks on the large gap between the critics and the people.
Gina Grad takes the win, BB in 2nd and Adam takes 3rd place.
They head to break
Dave opens the segment with a new “Upon Further Review” from a listener, asking about hummus.
Adam says he likes hummus and explains how it speaks to America and its people, he goes to Al Qaeda and how middle eastern cuisine wasn’t on the menu prior to global Islamic terrorism, but in spite of the modern era of terrorism and the fear of Muslims our consumption of food from that land has gone up exponentially.
Adam says it means we’re progressive, we vote with our taste buds and are the greatest country on the planet.
Adam is now making a point using Irish terrorists and Irish cuisine, Dave agrees and chuckles his way through it.
Dave says America is at worst 2nd best at making food anywhere in the world, Dave thinks American pizza and Chinese food are superior to the food found in Italy and China.
Adam is talking about real hardcore “trapped on an island” style sushi, you’ll blow somebody for a little teriyaki, tempura and rice after a few courses of challenging yourself from a culinary standpoint.
Dave brings up Anthony Bourdain and his bragging about trying every kind of meat on earth, Adam brings up the use of squid ink in Pallela and Dave asks about Fugu the poisonous fish.
Adam transitions to shark cages and how bullshit they are. Adam jokes about calling Brock Lesnar gay from inside a shark cage, hilarious quotes about the cock tattoo on his chest and Adam impersonating an enraged Brock Lesnar trying to get to him.
Adam is now calling a Bengal tiger gay from inside a shark cage, or you know whatever makes them upset, killer closer!
They’re back from break with Adam’s buddy Oswaldo reading an actual Five Star listener review.
Marlon Wayans is making his 3rd appearance on the show, Marlon asks about Oswaldo and Adam explains he used to have to assemble buildings with that guy.
Marlon makes a great point about how he could learn Russian if he was exposed to it for 25 years like Ozzie has to English.
Marlon talks about not being able to understand black people’s speech sometimes, Adam says white people can’t say that even if it has nothing to do with race, just culture/accent.
Marlon says sometimes he can’t understand white people either, using big words and Adam tells him that’s loquacious and they all laugh.
BB says that’s a Wayans sibling which goes unnoticed and unremarked on.
Adam says Mike August will be doing the news during an upcoming ACS live show and he plugs Marlon’s stand up dates.
Adam asks about the Wayans family work ethic, Marlon cites Slavery and his father’s hard work to take care of all of them growing up.
Marlon is sharing how his father always stopped a business or started it as the wrong time, condoms pre-AIDS and Adam says Marlon’s dad selling condoms is like James Corden selling workout equipment.
Adam makes a point about the constant work required to maintain status and stay in the public eye, he cites Jimmy Kimmel and his work ethic and Marlon fully agrees.
Marlon is telling Adam about his love for Standup, movies and connecting with fans.
Marlon is constantly working, Adam brings up the movie ‘Naked’ and asks Marlon about his vitamin supplements and his current shake plan, he says he’s 45 and still looks 25.
Adam asks Marlon about the “ass hair” his face, he jokes it belongs to Lebron James.
Marlon is telling them about making the movie ‘Naked’ and how he’s a grower not a shower, Adam is trying to picture the meat that most resembles his flaccid penis.
Adam talks about the pressure on black men in the dick department, Adam and BB are talking about BB’s penis size and the pressure on him to film a movie in the nude.
Adam asks him about the cock sock used to hide his junk, they talk about outie belly buttons and what’s up with them, Marlon says all kids with them know how to fight and Adam brings up the cute model chicks with outie belly buttons.
Marlon tells them about his movies and ‘Rotten Tomatoes’ scores for them, he says he’s been nominated for multiple Razzies but never won, he’s the Susan Lucci of the Razzies.
Gary informs him that he won two Razzies for the film ‘Little Man’ (2006) and Marlon is now giving his great acceptance speech, hilarious!
Marlon mentions Loveline in the speech, gold!
Marlon says he first met Adam on Loveline, he was on the MTV show in the 1990’s.
Adam makes a point about being the old person in fantastic shape, risking everything by slipping in the shower.
Adam says you must constantly throw track out in front of you and keep chugging along to keep from risking losing it all.
Marlon has been working these past 27 years and finally feels like it’s all starting to click career wise, Adam is making a point about men and their identity pertaining to employment.
Marlon has a “do what you love” rule for life, he tells them about his son being blocked from Basketball due to his math grades and how he put the kibosh on that, he could end up being a great basketball player.
Adam has a funny reaction to that being the blackest thing he’s ever heard, Marlon adds to his advice that he gives his children.
Marlon talks about marijuana slowing people down and keeping them from achieving, he says smoke weed after you achieve something.
Adam asks about Marlon his kids and his whomever, Marlon has never been married.
Marlon says he waked up and send his kids motivational quotes via text, they pacify him and pretend to be into it, Adam is now bringing up the “dream, believe, achieve” sign someone sent him.
Adam uses the Take a Knee with the creator of ‘5 Hour Energy’ and the conversation pertaining to nuclear power.
Marlon says he cannot be depressed by his kid’s missteps in life, if his son smokes crack or his daughter strips he’ll support them.
Adam does a funny stripper DJ bit with Marlon chiming in and they move on.
LifeLock – Proprietary technology, detects a wide range of threats Edition
1st Story is on the reshoots and reediting of the new movie ‘All the Money in The World’ and Adam asks why we’re doing this, Gina says they’re afraid nobody will go see the movie.
Adam says no, it’s not that and says people pretend to care and he thinks in a situation like this, if you know Kevin Spacey will be punished and this movie won’t go straight to his ball sack, do people really care.
Adam is asking Marlon about the removal of statues and this movie, Marlon says just change the voice.
2nd Story Is on Louis C.K.’s alleged sexual harassment.
Adam says there is a small set of people that want other people to watch them beat off and then the rest of us, Adam is using a good defense in the NFL example to joke about how he yells “fire” when he jizzes.
Marlon suggests maybe Louis was trying to “end the party” and what was going on before this all happened, Adam says if the stories are consistent we know he must’ve actually done these things.
Gina says this is not a well-kept secret and Adam says he had hears some things over the years, Adam says good man, he’s like Kaepernick he hopes every QB gets injured.
Adam wants every other comic to be taken down so he can then be booked at giant venues.
3rd Story is on the allegations that Charlie Sheen raped Corey Haim while filming ‘Lucas’ and Gary has some of the details and Adam says “how much can you trust guys named Dominick?” after learning the name of Haim’s friend who claims this happened.
Marlon is making a point about assault and inappropriate behavior in front of children, Adam jokes about Bob Dole being the worst guy ever to try to pull a George Bush “cop a feel” move and remarks on a pencil ending up somewhere it doesn’t belong.
4th Story is on Terry Crews naming the man who assaulted him at a party, Adam shares his theory on this story and how this guy must’ve been drunk to touch Terry.
Marlon says this guy must’ve been drunk and high and wanting Terry to whoop his ass, it doesn’t make sense to him.
Adam says he got a bunch of shitty tweets about his comments and Marlon agrees, you just don’t touch Terry Crews like that.
Gina is now reading Terry’s original tweets about the incident and names the man who did this, Adam is sticking with his “super drunk” theory.
BB says the people on twitter calling Adam to question are off base and he says this doesn’t make sense and is so far removed from rational behavior it must have some missing detail.
Adam is now sharing the poster someone sent him with the ‘Dream, Believe, Achieve’ words written on it, he hung it up and uses it to motivate himself.
Marlon is asking Adam about buying a 4.8-million-dollar old car, Adam argues his points about all of the reasons a home is a superior purchase and jokes about showering in champagne juice.
Varidesk – Adam saw a desk in the wild, utilizing an inferior competitor and a Varidesk Edition
5th Story is on the plane that had to be rerouted due to a conflict about an affair onboard, Adam says we need to add cages to planes, like in ‘Con Air’ and Marlon says he was lucky that plane was heading to Qatar instead of Florida.
Gina shares the details about how the woman found the evidence about the affair, Adam says this is the worst way to wake up on a plane.
Adam asks if it’s ok to ask your seat mate to wake you when the drink cart comes through, Gina proactively wakes up fellow passengers when the food cart is near.
Adam says he doesn’t snore unless he sleeps on his back, he wants to know what he can do to not sleep while leaning back.
Marlon says he lays folded in a “C shape” and uses his own pillow, Gina wraps the news and the move on.
Geico – Slide over to the computer, spend a couple of minutes to see how much Geico can save you edition
Adam gives out the plugs and jokes about Mike August filling in for the news, Marlon steps in with his own live dates and they wrap the show.
BB closes it with the “I don’t know what that black guy is saying” drop from the opening of the interview with Marlon.