Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 11/01/2013 – Bryan Callen

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Bryan Callen

Recorded 10-31-2013 – Release Date 11-01-2013

Production Number #1198

Show Page

Adam is opening the show to a very personal intro mocking his mom’s Halloween alternatives and Adam is comparing the bewilderment of the kids leaving his mom’s door to the guys appearing on “To Catch a Predator”.

Adam has a nice use of “huck” and a tease for his plan to have “Eddie” Bryan Callen’s character used in the “Hangover” for a lost audition tape for “The Floaters”.

Adam is now doing an impromptu version with BB manning the “Elliot Gould” drops, nice correction from Adam to BB about the pronunciation of one of his fiction NFL players.

 

I am so glad to have played a role in this new bit, Adam, August, Lynch, Dune and Myself driving in Waukegan.

Adam is really going extended with this riff and trying to get Elliot to work into the song.

Over 4min of tryouts and Adam is now pitching an Isaac Hayes tryout, BB is now editing show content on the fly and saying “not today”, odds they ever do it if BB is taking the note?

 

They are now playing Jo Koy from last week, “Froat On” his lost audition tape for the band, the infamous “Wooster” clip.

Adam is now kind of pitching open try outs for “The Floaters” and getting into his Halloween plans with the kids.

Adam is now saying we’ve outsourced everything, physically to China and India for materials and emotionally in regards to the lost era of homemade costumes and time spend with the kids.

 

BB has a solid prime shipping one liner in response to Adam’s examples of the memories of the kids of this era, disconnected from their parents.

Alison agrees that it’s a bonding activity and Adam says that not everything that takes time is a waste of time, Bryan plays “The More You Know” drop.

Adam is telling BB about doing the pumpkin carving thing with Sonny and his scout troupe, Adam is saying his pumpkin came out looking like Eric Stoltz as “Rocky Dennis” from the movie “Mask” as if he had Downs’s syndrome and had been hit by a trolley car, comedy gold!

 

Adam is bringing up the other dads, Mr. Mike is his main example and he’s talking about them all stacked on the stage around the pumpkin event.

Mike was talking about the election and not about pumpkin carving.

Adam is going off on the annual “Pumpkin Chunking” contest, he’s bringing up the trebuchet models and the pneumatic variety, and he’s got a great rocket vs. driven propulsion analogy.

 

Alison has some nice input and is goofing with Adam about all this gourd talk, Adam is on his “nothing has more range than a gourd” riff.

Adam is now getting into it with BB on the size of things that can be thrown, Alison is back in the mix and now BB wants to know the ratio of gourds that are consumed vs. used for decoration and demolition each year.

Adam has a great Christmas tree and Turkey analogy to make sense of the gourd.

 

Tales from the Cheap

1st Caller Sara, her mom once made her a “Black Eyed Pea” using mascara and a t shirt.

Adam is quizzing her about her current place in the world and BB initiates a “Stripper DJ” bit and Adam is turning into Bill Simmons for some reason, comedy gold!

Adam is now quizzing her about her job at the movie theater, she’s lamenting her inability to munch on free corn and BB has an old college anecdote about a buddy (frat brother?) who brought them home free popcorn after work at his theater gig.

 

Adam is now going off on getting a job where you encounter happy people, setting yourself up to see the same person in very different circumstances.

He’s contrasting other jobs of the same pay grade that involve you seeing people on a bad day.

 

2nd Caller Elizabeth, she’s married into a very Carolla-esque family dynamic with a millionaire version of Chris Carolla.

Adam and BB have a nice reaction to her husband’s uncle misappropriating an inheritance on sex dolls and time machines, he was a “Coast to Coast” fan.

Adam and BB are on an epic time machine/rape riff, comedy gold.

 

Adam is now joking about sex doll sections at adult stores and she just revealed he had 10k dollar real dolls, Adam is now impersonating the uncle joking about him trying to get the dolls to “lez out”.

Elizabeth is saying they found the sex dolls in his home when they were cleaning it out after his demise.

Adam is getting into how everyone is nuts now, Adam is citing Dr. Drew’s wife and her fabulous new Carolla Digital show “Calling Out”.

 

Adam is joking about hoarding not existing in historical context, Alison is wise to jump in to bring up rationing and contrast it to modern hoarding.

Great Gremlin one liner from A-Rose.

Elisabeth is telling them more about the semi fused sex dolls and Adam is joking with BB about the secondary market for real dolls.

 

Alison has a “junk them for parts” joke, I think she’s unaware that such services do indeed exist. Do not google it!

Adam and Alison are further joking about the dolls and Alison has a great sexual maturity comment.

Elisabeth is further explaining the condition of the contents of the uncle’s house and how her mother in law refused to throw out any of his stuff and ended up using his skid marked underwear as polishing rag.

 

Alison has a great “stuck on skid marks” comment and Adam is saying how he uses all old socks as rags now, Adam is trying to figure out what is worse, cheap rich people or cheap poor people.

Adam is now saying this may be a psychiatric condition and not just simply someone being cheap, Adam is now reciting Drew’s excuses for his father’s penny pinching.

Adam is on a “knock it off” tangent and references the black girl that assaulted him after a game.

 

BB is now defending Drew’s late father with the same logic, Adam is now using his superior logic to crush people saying they just can’t modify their behavior.

Adam is using the people who cry racism angle to prove his own point, very clever judo style arguing.

Adam is mocking the cruddy old jars of his grandma’s home and Alison has some comments indicating she knows his gross used jar pain.

 

Adam has a great “both of you shut up” and is explaining where he’s coming from instead of BB deconstructing him.

Adam is calling Chris “Catfish” Maxipada and mocking his work with August as his fellow “food goalie”.

Adam is now bringing up the Michael Moore argument from last week’s “Real Time” and Alison has a killer one liner.

 

2nd Caller Megan, she’s also a huge fan like the previous caller Elisabeth.

She was forced to collect fallen fruit from the neighbor’s trees for the neighbor kids and was greatly embarrassed.

Adam is thinking people wouldn’t eat anything non-packaged given out on Halloween.

 

Adam is now getting into the jewels of the candy crown, full size Reese’s Peanut Butter cups, Adam is now going off on his distaste for Necco Wafers.

Alison is in the mix and Adam is saying he’s okay with the lemonheads and other pectin based candy as they’ve at least committed to a flavor.

 

3rd Caller Joey, he’s bringing up the peanut butter candies that nobody west of the Mississippi seem to know of.

Adam is bringing up squirrel nut zippers and Abba Zabba’s, Joey knows of the band and the latter candy from it being featured in “Half Baked”.

Joey’s parents would make them melt down the peanut candies and use them as peanut butter on their bread.

 

Adam is talking with Joey about his lost lunches from his school days, Adam hates these people who never ate during school

Alison agrees and BB is admitting to being one of these kids, BB’s dad found stacked up old lunches in his locker even.

BB is now saying he was possibly skipping meals as a fat person, Alison did the same thing and Adam totally understands this motivation.

 

Adam is making some fine points about self-esteem, eating and being overweight.

BB is being super honest and generating some great fodder, Adam is quizzing Alison about her lunches and she’s sharing about her early dieting.

Adam is calling his parents shitty lunch packers and saying he would eat the amount of about 3 kids.

 

Adam is bringing up his Jewish friends who would get full and not appreciate their abundance of food supplies, he’s also bringing up the people like the large woman in the snack shack he would befriend and get free baked goods from.

Adam is bringing up Ray and his crazy appetite along with his spitting policy’ he’s citing the fat burger/peed on Alex story from Ray’s past.

Adam is telling them about reminiscing with a visiting Alex and remembering the exact spot where the offense occurred.

 

Bryan Callen is now making his 4th appearance on the podcast, he’s also on one of the live Albums on ITunes.

Bryan is bringing up how when he was stuck in traffic he wasn’t worried about the show struggling for content without the guest.

Adam is bringing up how he always hated the guest on Loveline but loved talking with Dr. Drew.

 

Adam is asking Bryan what he’s been up to career wise, he’s working on another hour long special and sharing his frustration editing material.

Adam is bringing up the way jokes and women compare, when it comes to ratings.

“You gotta figure out which 6 you like” – Adam on picking a woman and a joke.

 

Adam is now setting up Bryan for his audition as “Eddie” for the band “The Floaters”.

Adam is now playing some of the song for Bryan to get a feel of it.

Adam is now playing some of “Jo Koy” doing his audition.

 

Adam is now playing his legendary producer/engineer character, one of his two best musical improv characters in the business.

He’s the best manager and engineer straight man possible.

Adam is now walking Eddie through the audition.

 

This is insane, Adam is not getting an audition instead just an insane riff.

“She Die!” – Eddie, great reactions from Alison.

This keeps going, this is wonderful!

 

Eddie is now making sexy talk with some light hitting and the sound of jizzing, Adam orders him not to make the sound, awesome!

They’re now taking 10 and letting the session musicians go, And Scene!

“Oh please what career” – Adam in reply to Bryan

 

Adam is now setting up a few more minutes of Jo Koy but it looks like its news time according to BB.

 

Alison’s News

Her top story is on the money that will be spent on animal Halloween costumes this year, she’s got a personal aside that nobody comments on.

Adam is now using this as exhibit A. for why we official have no problems and are better than other countries.

Adam is bringing up a dog “bubba” with a giant male lab head that Adam likes, the woman owner was telling Adam about how the dog thought he was human.

 

Adam has a great counter argument and a nice comment aimed at the woman from the dog.

Adam is explaining that he’s just going out as dad, Bryan is going as Friar Tuck and has to carry a giant wooden cross.

Adam wants to know how she’s hip to these characters, clearly it’s Robin Hood, the Disney version guys, the DISNEY VERSION!

 

Bryan is now asking Adam’s take on little girls being given terrible role models, he’s got some good points.

Adam is agreeing about fighting nature and instincts, Bryan has some further studies he’s citing.

Adam is once again bringing up women post 45 and citing how they can spin out, he’s mentioning Susan Pinsky again.

 

Adam is saying the women are done with what they need to do by age 40 and Alison is bringing up the hormonal changes.

Adam is bringing up a conversation with Matt Fondiler through the bathroom door, Adam is bringing up Matt’s dad and his career vs. his mom who is spinning out with no more people to take care of.

Bryan is bringing up Harland Williams and citing creativity, Alison has a great quote from “Keats” almost taking it off the tip of Bryan’s tongue, and he notices and compliments her genius brain.

 

They’re talking about marriages based on looks, there is some Bonaduce comedy and Adam is bringing up how his own daughter is already being lured in by the makeup and the perception of glamour.

Adam is now bringing up all the greatest women in each field and how a slightly more attractive Applebee’s hostess would take the attention of all the men over any of them and how tragic and real that is.

Bryan is bringing up how some people resist marrying “their type” and Alison has a knowing bit of commentary regarding connection and physicality.

 

Adam has a great fat chicks who know how to sew and hate Bruce Springsteen comment in regards to his own getting past his type.

Bryan is now telling them about his past and the crazy women that littered it as has been covered in depth on the Joe Rogan Experience many times.

Adam is now getting Bryan to bust out an audition for “The Floaters” as himself, wow!

 

2nd Story is now on the FAA allowing electronic devices on planes and the use of the devices on properly protected planes.

Adam is once again right.

Bryan wants to know how to improve jet travel in the modern era, Adam is sharing how he has said this many times.

Adam is bringing up the lack of progression in the commuting times of commercial jet travel.

 

Adam is explaining how the jets are the busses of the sky and there could be solutions for faster travel at higher costs.

Adam is bringing up the Concord and how he was told by guys who flew it that they would often have the engines stall and have to glide to jump start them.

Bryan actually flew on it and they’re getting into the nature of the sound barrier, Bryan is a little off on his math.

 

Bryan is walking them through the critical mass of sound molecules, which causes the sonic boom.

Alison is making a joke about sound traveling faster and Bryan is bringing up how they now have technology where they can focus audio at a specific person’s ear.

Adam is bringing up how when Chuck Yeager broke the record they didn’t know what would happen and Adam is bringing up a guy who took is plane into a dive just see what would happen.

 

Adam has a great Hilton Sisters analogy that Alison seems to appreciate and Bryan is bringing up the bygone responsibility of aristocracy.

Adam is bringing up the late Joe Kennedy Jr. who died in WWII, Adam is bringing up the plan to guide a plane full of explosives into a dam.

Adam is walking them through the timed TNT plan and how the aircraft blew up while trying to reach altitude.

Adam is further mentioning the death of Geoffrey De Havilland JR. in 1946.

 

Alison is wrapping the news, Adam is doing a live read and now Adam is getting Gary to clarify on the De Havilland crash in the sound barrier attempt but they still can’t figure out who it was.

Adam was right.

Adam is giving out the plugs for Bryan and wrapping the show.

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