Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 10/23/2017 – Brian Whitman
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Brian Whitman
Recorded 10-22-2017 – Release Date 10-23-2017
Production Number #2185
Adam opens the show to an epic “The Toolbox” intro from Dawson, much to the delight of a pre-show off mic Gina.
Dawson has a killer “Lynch has some time off” intro joke, BB plays some “Fake Tom Leykis” laughter as today’s #TopDrop.
Adam immediately asks about his very specific instructions for Gary to let the Boston song play longer after Dawson’s talk-up intro.
Adam immediately transitions to his recent quest for Sushi and how legit Sushi places leave you craving rice, avocado and cream cheese as they only serve the hardcore ingredients and everything is eel based.
Adam is bitching about nachos served with cheese sauce and what a fake out move that is, he is making a comparison to his favorite tempura shrimp roll, a lightweight but tasty roll.
Adam says the problem is they take the squirt bottle with the two liquids, one is a sugary brown glaze and the other is a mayo based sauce similar to thousand island.
Adam is asking for a system to be in place and takes it back to Gary, the conversation they had where Adam asked him to let the song play for 30sec, Dawson says Gary did tell him to let it play out.
Adam says he knows he did, he told him like Adam and Lynette told the Sushi guy last night, Adam mocks Lynette and her “light cravings” for ‘El Pollo Loco’ and how they tried to plan the sushi takeout order to time with Adam’s gym departure.
Adam asked for no sauce, he explains why he’s against the sauce and how he feels it goes against the very reason one would order sushi, to experience something not covered in “Pffft” liquid sugary jizz.
Adam says you got to watch out with the gym, he brings up the mirrors that are all over the place, that allow people to see you staring at them.
Adam says he’s the most couth guy in the room, he’s dripping with couth, BB has a killer Couther Vandross one liner and Adam tops it with Martin Couther King, Gina gets a solid one in too.
Adam is talking about yoga pants ass and how men don’t even have time to catch themselves while working out, BB tries another name and suggests Couther from ‘The Wire’ and they move on to the sauce pictures.
Adam is now having them look at his dinner, a ruined pile of sauce rice.
BB jumps in with “John Wilkes Couth” and Adam shares his “hey Ms. Horrible batting average on things I tell you” (Lynette) conversation about her requesting the sushi place not drench Adam’s food in crappy sauces.
Adam says nobody had a modality for not fucking up, you just picking up the phone and going “gotcha” doesn’t work, you need a modality for things to not go wrong.
Adam is saying this is the greatest couples’ dilemma, they have their sushi that’s been drenched in shit, do they eat it and not enjoy it, do they replace it.
Adam goes over the “are you sure” dance between him and his wife, he covers every possible element of the hypothetical sushi return scenario.
The gang are going over the concept of the “holding the goo” and discuss fast food which leads to Adam talking about McDonalds and their secret sauce and how every special order Big Mac without sauce had the sauce scraped off as you can’t get someone to break their process of using the caulking gun of sauce.
Gina teases that their guest Brian Whitman is a huge fan of checking his fast food before driving away, regardless of the reaction of the drivers behind him.
Adam expounds further and they move on.
Real Estate Wealth Expo – Sonny is stoked for the ‘Cobra’ seminar Edition
Adam is talking to Gina about Suze Orman, Gina is fascinated by her and Adam is now talking about financial awareness and how people aren’t taught about money.
Adam is now riffing a scenario with him explaining how important money is to an Alien, hilarious!
Adam named him Zoltar and is doing his own back and forth, trying to tell Zoltar about his parents and how they left him to die without preparation for the real world and handling money, Zoltan has an oddly Native American affect, Adam just mentioned native Americans.
Adam is giving an update on the last-minute change for the upcoming Bakersfield show, it’s now on Friday instead of Thursday.
Gary plays the new Rich Banks song, ‘Born to be Annoyed’ which features clips of Adam complaining about things.
Adam says Rainn Wilson tweeted him a link featuring Mayor Garcetti and Adam mocks the mayor and how everything he talks about weaves in diversity and homelessness.
Adam is now making a point about diversity, it’s just a thing and he cites Japan.
Adam is now riffing about the most diverse homeless population on earth, hilarious peanut butter cup one liner and order to clean up the freeway, bitch.
Garcetti is #1 in traffic and #1 in homeless diversity.
Adam is now mocking the mayor and impersonating him, he keeps saying diversity and repeating very obvious and basic ideas.
Adam is killing it, he’s hitting every point and that specific feeling of someone adding needless extra words and sentences to a speech, you can hear BB and Gina reacting for a moment of two, solid.
Adam is now screaming and says he wants some ideas and policies, not speeches filled with simple platitudes.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Tom, he wants to run some ideas for the NFL by Adam.
Tom suggests they use the kickers of each team competing in a “name that tune” style kick to see which team starts with the ball, to remove the coin toss element.
Adam thinks it’s a good idea and lists the various benefits of doing this, he brings up an MTV Rock and Jock event with Tony Siragusa and his role, they go over it for a few more minutes and wrap things up.
2nd Caller Rob, he compliments Adam and cites the republican argument for voting for Trump.
Rob tries to paint Adam as a republican, Adam says he’s not a pro Trump guy. Adam says he’s anti Hillary Clinton and gets to his feelings about jobs, and why someone out of work might have voted for him hoping for a way out of their endless cycle of poverty.
Adam says he’s for any discussion of making things more efficient, Adam wants job talk and doesn’t want politicians discussing feelings, Adam gets to the job of the government and how they shouldn’t care about feelings, that’s up to society and individuals.
Adam makes a point about rich people and how everyone who makes over 100k per year are trying to get a few extra bucks.
Adam says that BB is writing off his daughter’s bedroom as his home office, BB has either a real “oh no!” reaction or his acting skills are getting scarily good.
3rd Caller Mike, he wants to know if there is any chance Harvey Weinstein could make a comeback and get revenge on the people who have bashed him publicly.
Gina says who cares, she is serious and her tone shifts.
Adam is referencing a conversation with an unnamed individual who Gina probably correctly predicts was Mark Geragos.
“Show me Sean Young at 19 and I’ll show you a boner” – Adam
Adam is now talking about men and their desire to be with beautiful women, hot men can get women, but what if you’re not George Clooney and you’re in fact a troll, you need an angle.
Gina is in agreement and Adam is talking about men trading on power instead of banging other trolls, very interesting discussion.
4th Caller Ron, he dropped off the line but he wanted to ask BB about his time on ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’ and if he developed a tumor afterwards, they riff about the lights and pressure getting to him and Adam has a funny impression of the caller’s POV.
BB honestly talks about his tumor and how it has affected his speech, they move on.
LifeLock – Standard Live Read Edition
They head to break
Dave gives out the plugs and he brings up the “egg preparations” topic from last week, Adam says it’s akin to be asked to “F, Marry, Kill” one of ‘Charlie’s Angels.’
Dave correctly predicts Adam is describing him as the person who overreacts to you picking one to kill, as if it was your hypothetical scenario and they didn’t just ask you to rank them.
Dave asks Gary for a “Win, Place, Show” stinger, Gary is hesitant to even try based off the reaction from last week but does so anyway.
Dave chides him for not delivering a winner of a take and they move on.
Dave wants Adam to rank the primary colors, Adam says he likes blue and he’s come around on red, he likes red leather interiors on cars and mentions the white exterior/red exterior paint schemes and a vehicle he owns with a midnight blue exterior and red interior.
Adam brings up having a creative wiring and Dave is saying he’s not wired for manual labor, he couldn’t just scrape a floor clean, Dave says he’s not condescending and legitimately does not know how someone can work on an assembly line.
Dave brings up the machinery that assists people in not putting their limbs in dangerous machinery and how it resembled being a puppet, Adam has a killer N’Sync music video reference.
Adam says most people don’t know how to dig with a shovel for hours, people today don’t know anything about ditch digging.
Adam says he would dread it, he felt like he was going insane, surrounded by people without creative wiring, the repletion didn’t bug them like it bothered Adam.
Adam has an “all day, every day” point and they move back to the colors and wrap up the installment.
They’re back from break
Brian Whitman is making his 2nd appearance on the ACS, he was previously on ACS #1049 back in 2013 and was a regular on the KLSX ACS back in 2006 with his “Fake Tom Leykis” impression.
They return to the show with a great moment in local news, about a bagel with gold leaf.
Adam is ranting about the “1 Million” dollar items, where people put jewels into food or bras and then proclaim the items as valuable, Brian joins him and Adam plugs his radio show.
Adam talks about the rules of radio and brings up the old Conway and Steckler show, he says his program director would get pissed about him plugging Loveline on another station.
Brian joins him and shares his frustration with the backwards thinking, Adam talks about delayed broadcasts and the theory that people wouldn’t listen to day old Howard Stern.
Adam says people listen to it and don’t care, he cites people listening to 10-year-old Loveline episodes, he means 22-12yr old LL episodes.
Adam says the one thing that always pissed him off was related to 91x, Brian does a killer impression of the local station ID and Adam joins him and delivers a nice rendition of the Spanish language closer.
Brian is making a point about the radically untalented people in radio and does an impression of a program director weighing in on the pilot for ‘M*A*S*H’ just as Adam suggested, very funny.
Adam is now talking about taking a meeting with Discovery pitching a show to some executives.
It was suggested that the guys switch positions with the execs to enjoy the view, Adam was the only person to take them up on the offer which led to a funny scenario with Adam pretending to be an executive, critiquing their show idea, hilarious!
Adam is now telling them about his initial pitches for a show about home improvement and how he knew which way the wind was blowing back in 1995.
Adam says he was told that the MTV demographic were renters and therefore wouldn’t be interested in homes, Adam jokes about his ‘McHale’s Navy’ “how many viewers had a PT boat?” reply and he comments on how his dickhead comments in meetings might have affected his career.
Adam is now talking to Brian about his political theories and the segue to Dennis Prager, Brian busts out his impression of the man, hilarious!
Brian shares the fashion advice/life lesson Dennis Prager shared with him and now Brian is busting out his Trump and Melania impressions.
Blinds Galore – Thanksgiving, it’s coming up fast, let’s not worry about the ratty old blinds edition
1st Story is on the fake Melania stories/theory about the first lady having a body double.
Brian busts out the dueling impressions and Gina shares the details of the conspiracy theory.
Adam brings up the movie ‘Moon over Parador’ and cites the plot similarities to this conspiracy theory.
2nd Story is an update on Harvey Weinstein’s rehab stint.
Gina reports people are snitching on his bad behavior, saying he doesn’t seem to be there for the right reasons, often sleeps through group therapy and was once startled awake by his own smuggled in phone.
Gina has more of the details, Adam says it’s impossible for Harvey to nod off without everyone else being aware of it, Adam jokes about his CPAP machine.
Adam is now riffing with Brian who is in character as Woody Allen, Adam is trying to make a point about Woody and Roman having done horrible things who might not be horrible people unlike Harvey who was very difficult to deal with.
3rd Story is on agent Tyler Grasham and the accusations against him.
Gina has all of the details, Adam is now making a point about male sexuality and proclaims the reason the glory hole exists, because it’s a dude and another dude trying to figure out how much time should go by before they have sex.
Brian agrees and they riff some glory hole punctuality.
Gina brings up the allegations made by Corey Feldman and the abuse being inflicted on men and women.
They move on.
4th Story is on pole dancing joining the Olympic Games, Adam is for it but it does start a dangerous precedent and could lead to a slippery slope of curling 5-dollar bills towards vaginas on the ice.
Brian is now doing some Stripper DJ, hilarious!
Brian jokes about “observer status” and Adam says his problem with the pole is he doesn’t like watching fire eaters nor sword swallowers, he gets scared women are going to fall mid dance, he becomes nervous mom.
“sweetie!” – Adam
Gina says as someone who took pole dancing classes for two years, which she says was very fun. If she can do it the professionals can handle being inverted without risking injury, they’re fine.
Adam and Brian are now doing dueling stripper DJs, this is amazing!
Hilarious back and forth, Adam just named Brian’s DJ “Rod” and Adam’s DJ affirms his sexuality, he’s into chicks!
True Car – Apples to apples man, Chris got a used Prius, no more second thoughts Edition
Adam gives out the closing plugs and wraps up the show, he says you need Brian Whitman in your life and proclaims that he listens to the show every morning.
Brian closes it out and BB plays the drop of Adam saying “it’s noon, did I beat off today” from the discussion during the 2nd phone call, talking about young men without employment.