Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 10/17/2013 – Luke Burbank, Live from the Neptune Theatre in Seattle

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Luke Burbank, Live from the Neptune Theatre in Seattle

Recorded 10-12-2013 – Release Date 10-17-2013

Production Number #1187

Show Page

Adam is welcoming longtime Seattle Carolla booster and former radio host, now successful podcaster Luke Burbank for his ACS podcast debut.

Adam is bringing up how their former program director would marvel at the KLSX ACS being number #1 in Seattle, BB is now jumping in to correct Adam, shocking!

Luke is telling Adam about a time he called into the morning radio show on KLSX, Luke is busting out his Adam impression and sharing the details of the call where Adam mistook his phrasing.


Adam is now citing his inability to wake up and be ready for comedy at 6am, I’s blame Luke for trying to prepare too much, my best calls were as off the cuff as possible.

Adam is now sharing his reaction to the kitchen table when he’s wake up for his 6am shifts, hilarious one liners from Ace.

Luke is bringing up morning golfer professionals and Adam is agreeing with him saying he hates those guys who get most of their work done before everyone else has lunch.


Adam has a disturbing and killer pie fucking reply to Luke’s time analogy, Luke is now telling the gang about Adam on Loveline and how he used to schedule his shitty busy work in order to listen.

Luke just cited the “Buzz” 100.7 Talk Radio schedule, they would play Loveline “mono” (Yuck!) and repeat the 1st hour at midnight, and so it was a 3hr block 5 nights a week.

Luke is sharing his lifelong goal to guest on loveline and has a funny comment about Adam’s celebrity descending enough to share a stage with him, Adam has a superior dig about Bean not being willing to leave his house to do the show.


Adam is now sharing the “are you as big of a dick in real life/BEAT IT!” story, BB is calling him a dick but as we learned on the most recent Adam and Drew show he refuses to let Mangria touch his delicate palate, wow!

Adam is now citing the last time he saw Luke was while taping Luke’s podcast in person in Seattle, He was in my hometown of Kirkland on May 21st and 22nd for 6 back to back shows after doing the same in SFO and another city.

A former staff member ran the board and laptop for the first 3 shows then I was tasked with running everything for night 2, it was the best and most successful thing I’ve ever done and there is only one recording of the roughest and least fun show, the first one(sigh!)


Laughs used to be a “Godfather’s Pizza” when I was a child/teen and lived in the area so it made for an interesting location to modify into a comedy club.

Adam is still trying to pull the name of the club, the audience is filling in him.

Adam is now mixing up the details of the location, I was the only one to tell him of its former pizza days, and Luke is now taking the attention away from the story and explaining his relationship to Bean to get closer to the Aceman.


Alison is now sharing a funny anecdote about misunderstanding hearing them discuss the trip to Bean’s house on May 22nd 2010, Adam was driving with Luke instead of hanging out with me and getting some local “Acropolis” Grinders in Kirkland.

Adam is now mocking the condescendingly sing songy replies women often reply with.

Luke is now sharing his experience growing up on “The Lighthouse Ranch” a hippy Christian commune, Luke is now sharing Suzie Burbank’s testimony.


Adam is now sharing the story of his mom’s pot plant when he was in 6th grade.

Luke is now name dropping some old buddies who had pothead moms, he’s launching into a short story.

Luke is telling Adam about hanging out at Green Lake and their illusion of the safety “Duck Island” provided in the center of the lake.


Adam is on a killer “Gentle Ben” riff and working “Flipper” into the mix, mocking the television of a bygone era, Luke is now finishing up the story.

Luke is now sharing his lengthy “Uber” car ride from here in IL, where he was told about the conspiracy theory regarding the death of “Osama Bin Laden”.

Adam is now explaining he has indeed had this same experience, when Ed Asner guested on episode #110 of the ACS from 2010, Adam has a killer sphinx one liner and BB is stepping in to mock him, seemingly not getting the intentional comedy.


Luke is now mocking women who buy into astrology and Adam is now presenting a scenario where Luke’s logic doesn’t work, Adam is sharing his own hypothetical reaction.

Alison is now stepping in to ask her own question, she’s asking why Mike August is filming the gang as they approach the stage, Adam is explaining he’s trying capture the exuberance of the crowd.


1st Question from Janelle, it’s her birthday and she wants to know if she can get Aceman’s blessing to celebrate it.

Adam is now bringing up his trek to Vancouver for his recent live show, he’s citing the extreme drunkenness of the crowds and fans, hilarious comedy mocking Russia.

Adam is now joking about curling with Janelle and somehow magically conjures that she’s a lesbian, she’s confirming it and having some fun, good times!


Adam is now sharing how to properly ride a buzz and his own attempts to get Dr. Drew to admit that he’s vomited from drinking.

Alison is now explaining that she can also vomit with a well-placed finger much like Adam, she’s’ dispelling Luke’s assumptions as to why she’s more equipped at it.

Adam is now mocking Luke for a reference that predates his “Eve Plumb” reference mocked earlier.


Adam has a great terrible diarrhea/Chuck Liddell metaphor to mock Luke’s logic and sharing an old Man Show bit/invention, the counter spinning bed for when you’re drunk.

Adam is now sharing the experience of waking up to Molly about to vomit in bed, he’s citing how dog’s give you a very short window to intervene.

Adam is now sharing his idea from Classic Loveline for a mattress with a hole in it, for nighttime erections and urination, BB is once again mocking his boss’s ideas.


Luke is now seguing to the show “Shark Tank” that BB just brought up and Adam is mocking some of the inventors who appear on the show and how sometimes their example given for the need of the product is a bridge too far.

Adam is now sharing his invention of a car seat gutter, the sister idea to the mattress.

Adam is now going off on inaccurate digital mileage estimates for modern car gas gauges, he’s calling for an emergency Mega Man style “E Tank” with a specific set amount of distance attributed to it.


Adam and Luke are bonding over impoverished gas purchases, Adam is citing his 21 cent gas purchase for his old motorcycle in the 99 cents a gallon days.

Adam is now mocking all the food that contains liquids and goo, like stuffed crust or juice filled gum.

BB is now playing a super long intro for “Weed Walking”.


Weed Walking

Mike Dawson in Portland quizzing an incredibly high gentleman from the city.

1st Question “What Is the Capital of Washington State?”


2nd Question “Spell Paraphernalia?”


3rd Question “Which number president was Jefferson?”

Hilarious rope to hold slaves down to have sex with them one liner from Adam, that simultaneously mocks the founding fathers, racism and the hemp activism movement.


4th Question “if Phish’s guitarist does a 21min solo, the drummer does a 16min solo and the Bass Player does a 3min solo, how long are the combined solo’s.


5th Question “When Did Hawaii Become a State?”

Adam and Alison are now asking the jumping off point for the question and Luke is setting the record straight.


Alison’s News

She’s sharing an anecdote of seeing Adam in the am at the hotel and he had mistaken slices of fish for “Pancake Shards” his made up breakfast treat.

Alison is trying to get him to explain how he picked it up without realizing it, Adam has a great “anything that comes from the sea should be clearly labeled” comment that tops “Alison’s earlier fish one reply that needs to be a drop.


Her Top Story is on the most dangerous states, she’s asking the gang what they would guess before reading the list.

Adam is now riffing on New Mexico having to impress actual Mexico with its own crime statistics.

Alison is now giving her take on New Mexico, Adam is working bolo ties into the mix and Luke has a killer “that’s where your mom goes after she divorces your dad”.


Adam is really digging in now and explaining that bolo ties either mean supreme badass or total pussy, “There’s a lot of range in fighting a dude with a bolo tie”.

Alison is bringing up earrings on dudes and Adam is now bringing up how it’s always had a dual polar opposite meaning.

Luke has a great “Dick’s Drive In” reference for all the local fans, Luke got the wrong ear pierced and assumed he was coming out, at the time he had already gotten “a female pregnant” – weird brag.


Adam is now explaining the need of gay signifiers like earrings and bandannas, a hilarious and true bit of comedy revolving around men dictating sexuality, a classic riff.

Adam is making a great kids deciding what’s for breakfast analogy.

Adam is now sharing his idea on sending a dude armed with a hidden camera into random honky-tonks in Alaska asking about a warrant.


Luke now has a childhood rhyme about the lice spread from some Alaskan locals, he’s got an even grosser brag than the earlier one.

“Who loves fishing and hates their kids?” Adam on how Alaska and Florida get new male citizens.

Adam wants to know what’s up with the newfound “Moonshine” popularity when you can just go to the liquor store.


Luke thinks it’s all fake, Adam’s actually had some from Johnny Knoxville and Adam says “when it comes to the woods, more harm than good at this point”.

“No Goods Ever came from the Woods” – Self-satisfied sniffing Adam.

Alison just whipped up a great new rhyme that tops Luke’s even, quick wit.


2nd Story is on the Breaking Bad auction held a day after the finale.

She’s now citing all the winning bids for various props, including the inscribed copy of “Leaves of Grass”.

Adam is now once again bringing up the drive to the airport with Cranston in 2009 and how the show was supposed to be filmed in California.


3rd Story is on an elderly man busted with hundreds of lbs. of cocaine.

Adam is citing how much he loves it when people do things unexpected for their advanced age.

Luke jokes there probably aren’t any doctors in Adam’s audience, kind of an ignorant comment as I personally know many, and I would bet my entire 86$ net worth that there were at least 2 in that audience, I know for a fact a dentist was!


Adam is now commenting on the hair that keeps growing as you age, ear and nose hair after some great old guy eyebrow comedy.

Adam is now saying that if he could get his own head off of himself he could do a great job, Adam is now joking about blowing himself and cutting his own hair, including flossing too!

Adam is now bringing up the two reactions all women have

  1. Seeing a baby, Alison is now telling him it’s totally true “No more crimping vaginas” and seeing a puppy, he’s citing how men immediately start asking the facts.
  2. Seeing a zit, Adam is now riffing about the dating app, where he connects women who like to pop zits with guys who desperately need assistance, a bidding/auction element too.

Adam is calling that true chick porn, he’s saying women would spend far more time watching that than actual porn. Great Bundle of Snakes one liner from Ace.


BB is now mocking Adam, again. Alison is saying she agrees with Ace over BB with some minor caveats.

Adam is now riffing about setting the zit popping mood and Alison needs some kind of eruption insurance, if it’s been tampered with or the seal cracked before she gets to town, she’s gonna need her money back.


Luke has a killer Blink 182 reference as Adam riffs about the blue gloves which seem to be used more and now Alison is bringing up Adam’s “Bundle of Snakes” one liner.

Adam is now bringing up the zits he misses most, the inner ear one that pops and you can hear it, he’s got a great forgotten luggage analogy for approaching a zit as an adult.

Adam is bringing up the huge thigh zit that he works with the needle nose pliers, getting medieval on his fucking thigh, comedy gold!


He’s now joking about going at clogged follicles on your ball sack and how it’s also no holds barred battleground for zits

Nice “Bundleofsnakes.com” callback during the legal zoom live read and a perfect “Henter” from Dawson.


Adam is now explaining how he would not only have advertising on the website but also a subscription model and he’s now ordering on more story before he wraps the show to

Alison wants to know how Adam thought a woman might react to his tattered ball bag and he’s sharing some “Sack Science” about using reverse luck psychology to attract women.


4th Story is on NFL wide Receiver Brandon Marshall wearing green cleats instead of pink as mandated by the NFL.

Adam loves this story and is saying that this breast cancer thing is out of control, he’s citing the abundance of funds and attention the cause gets and how it’s snowballed much like the marathon running events have devolved.

Adam has a point about breast cancer only effecting half the population and Alison is trying to jump in to share that men can get breast cancer too, though it’s exceedingly rare, not a point shit, she allowed Adam to clarify his educated point, nice work A-Rose!


“Everyone who thinks I’m a huge douche, fuck you!” – Adam in reply to people who don’t like his logic, he’s saying that there isn’t an unlimited pool of time and cash to cover all causes equally.

This is sound logic that echoes Dr. Drew and Bruce, I think they would agree.

Adam has a great closing line and now Alison is wrapping the news.


Adam is doing another live read, BB is jumping in and Adam delivers a killer intentional lame joke, he’s now riffing on “you can use that” with a “You can keep that” gifting turd analogy.

BB has a little ass kissing for the Seattle football fans and Dawson is once again doing his part, he missed the “henter”.

Adam is now plugging Luke’s podcast, a local hit with its own Superfan Christy.


Adam is wrapping the show with a very enthusiastic Mahalo!

This was my favorite of the 4 Northwest Live Shows.