14 Oct Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 10/14/2013 – Adam, Alison, and Bryan, Live from the Aladdin Theatre in Portland
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Adam, Alison, and Bryan, Live from the Aladdin Theatre in Portland
Recorded 10-11-2013 – Release Date 10-14-2013
Production Number #1184
Adam is opening the show to a very enthusiastic northwest crowd for the very first live ACS from Portland Oregon, in the Aladdin theater which was home to Adam’s first ever stand up show in Portland back in 2010, how appropriate.
Adam is mocking the savory mix snack served on board their outbound flight, Adam is mocking soy nuts and calling them the opposite of savory, he’s saying it’s akin to calling sand savory.
Adam is mocking the airline food and stating its leftover prison cafeteria ingredients, Adam is explaining how its food one would never eat on the ground if given a full slew of choices.
Adam is mocking Alison’s description of the spring that dispenses treats from a vending machine, comedy gold!
Adam is saying the vending machine would ask “are you sure” if one featured the savory mix and it was requested by a patron.
Adam is now riffing about the supremely salty pretzels in the mix, he’s saying people are punished for flying and those on death row get to mock people who eat savory mix as a last meal.
Adam is now calling for a patriot to take one for the team and to seize up in response to ingesting savory mix midflight, in order to get it banned from planes much like the peanut.
Adam is telling the gang about a sleeping Mike August who Adam tried to alert midflight with a knee slap in order to get his free beer, Alison’s reaction is pretty great.
Adam is now riffing about how he might acquire everyone else’s complimentary beer, BB is now in the mix and Adam is explaining the discomfort of flying on a regional jet.
Adam is now bringing up the looks of the various passengers and wants to know what society’s beef with old people is, he’s now breaking it down.
- We don’t like Dead People, hilarious riff about returning home to find a dead body.
- We Like new people, I.E. Babies
- The closer you get to dead, the more you remind people of death and the less they like you.
Adam is now joking with Alison about trying to fuck “the new people” and he’s got a killer tight fitting onesie joke.
He’s now further riffing on the “fuck window” people inhabit from 18-50(roughly).
Adam is now contrasting a beef with Suge Knight to that with an elderly person.
Adam is now asking how many audience members use maids and Alison is objecting to the lack of a response, BB keeps trying to say “housekeeper” and point out maid could be seen as derogatory, Alison and BB both utilize housekeepers.
Alison hates having someone in her house and Adam is saying that it works out big picture because she’s a bread winner, Adam is commenting on the real housewives of California who insist upon not working a day job and having hired help.
Adam is now bringing up his wristband for Coronado and how wristbands are now universal passes for all venues and events.
Adam is telling the gang about the wristband that he needed a time machine to utilize, Adam is explaining how the maid misplaced his material by the door, much like the time she unplugged his charging phone.
Adam is now bringing up the recent time his maid freaked out with an “AYYYYEEEE!” exaggerated startled scream upon him heading to the bathroom in his own house around noon.
Adam is now bringing up the feeling of pre-devouring food in your fridge upon driving to your home, Adam is telling the gang about fingrblasting his lasagna.
Adam is now riffing about how we’ve evolved back to duffle bag, we went from merchant marines with their duffle bag, to the super techno variety and now back to the basic duffle.
Adam is mocking people with 4 wheel luggage and how it offers the illusion of convenience, Adam is bringing up the greatest 21min of his life from a flight about 5yr ago.
Adam is describing a “Dieter” type wearing a black turtleneck with another neck on top of it, Adam is describing his brushed titanium luggage that Adam estimates was about 1500, he’s now mocking the people who insist upon everything in their orbit be the coolest technology made.
Adam is now riffing about custom suede chopstick covers as the hilarious out their example this type of behavior goes to.
Adam is back to Dieter and his aircraft seat luggage that was about a half inch too big to close the southwest overhead compartment.
Adam is breaking down this man’s effort to cram his luggage and how he loves the move the people pull trying to go long ways after repeated attempts to cram it the other direction.
Adam is back to the maid who put his travel bags and pillow away, he uses his own pillow in hotel rooms as it smells like him and solves the “ginormous and size of Texas” hotel pillow options.
Adam is explaining as a stomach sleeper he feels like he’s sleeping on a parking curb, Adam is now citing the time in Atlantic City he forgot his pillow or could have.
Adam has a brown pillow case, my brother! And Alison is chiming in observing on how his maid was undoing all of his travel moves.
Adam is describing his attempt to ask Lynette to change the way they keep house, to get rid of the hired help and he’s wondering if this is something they just do because they can afford it.
Alison is giving her experience stressing out all week until they leave, she’s bonding with Ace over the TV remote being hidden away in a drawer, and Adam appreciates the effort but finds it unnecessary.
Adam is now discussing his go to move searching for TV remotes and he’s now calling for monolithic sofas without crevices nor compartments to bury or disguise remotes and pocket contents.
Q and Ace
1st Question from Jeff, he wants to know if it’s ok to assault people who remind him “that he still has time” in response to finding out he doesn’t YET have kids.
Adam is bringing up his own observations on his parenting style in response to other people asking him how parenthood has shifted his priorities.
Adam is saying it’s only made him double down on beating off and racing vintage race cars, hilarious “I always pit, I always pit” reply from Adam to top his own joke.
Adam is joking about the only way he altered his mom’s life, “you want a ride where?”
Adam is asking Jeff and about his wife and has some realistic possible avenues where this could end up for them.
“It was business as usual at the Carolla house and that business is nothing” – Adam on his household post children.
Adam is now calling for a tax break for those who don’t have children, as refund for not using the school system and other public utilities aimed at families.
BB has a powerful summation that Adam really responds to and even fetches a smattering of applause.
Adam is now connecting the multiple inquiries about dessert at restaurants to the people who say these proclamations about rearing children, Adam has a great reply to the waitress and a killer follow up riff.
Alison is now bringing up people asking if you want food or refreshments and how it’s the only thing you seemingly aren’t allowed to turn down.
Adam is now mocking how dessert is the only meal you always regret as opposed to skipping it and not missing a thing.
Adam is now mocking the skinny bitch who orders “something for the table” Adam is now riffing a fork fight over tiramisu to eat the table sweets due to his competitive dessert nature.
Blah Blah Blog
1st Blog Choices are Joy Behar, Michael Moore and Barbara Streisand
Adam is mocking the government shutdown and explaining he loves the 13% shutdown that has been in effect, BB is mocking the word usage and Adam is trying to blame Dawson and the beer, Adam is now pitching “Dawson and The Beer” a sitcom with Dawson traveling cross country with a pet monkey.
If Michael Narren wasn’t so busy I would get him to drop anything and whip up an episode of this fictional and amazing series Adam just created in the hearts and minds of all of us.
2nd Blog Choices are Tyra Banks, Tim Gunn and Khloe Kardashian
3rd Blog Choices are Tom Green, Adrian Grenier and Raiin Wilson
Adam is mocking the tsunami of douche in the choices and the argument presented in the blog regarding climate change.
Alison is getting Adam to share his very reasonable thoughts on climate change, he’s now explaining his take on nuclear power plants and why they’re superior to coal.
Adam is bringing up Martin Sheen and his bulldozer chaining protest that in part halted production of the plants in the United States.
Adam is making some great points re: the body counts for Fukushima and 3 mile island disasters.
4th Blog Choices are Jackson Brown, Shakira and Mike Love
Adam is riffing about pulling a John Belushi guitar smash from “Animal House” on this person’s computer.
Adam is now mocking Mike’s constant advertisement of what band he’s in, BB is joining him for the riff and trying to throw Gary under the bus, Adam is now complisulting Gary and explaining how he got his MTV loveline windbreaker.
Adam couldn’t wear this windbreaker without first taking a sharpie to the loveline logo on the back.
Adam is skipping the tie breaker so they can jump to the news.
Alison’s News
Her top story is on Dario Franchitti heading back to Indianapolis to further recover, Adam is now joking about seguing from almost dying in an Indy car to head to Indy to seek treatment for the accident.
2nd story is on the abuse of the service animal laws and Americans with disabilities act
Adam is now giving his take on this rule and the idea of breaking rules to subvert the law, he’s citing medical weed cards and how they can be unscrupulous.
Adam is now riffing about dignity and how we don’t have a galactic dignity police force, he’s now riffing on guys making fake handicapped placards with their buddy at Kinkos.
Adam is now calling for increased shaming for people who abuse the rules like this.
Alison is now reading a quote from a woman Adam says “sounds hot” comedy gold!
Adam is now giving an anecdote of leaving “Happy Endings” during the middle of the last NFL season and how he came upon a car blocking traffic wedged into a left turn lane.
Alison is now reciting the two questions you are allowed to ask a person upon entering a business with a service animal.
Adam is bringing up the anxiety dog and how it’s something impossible to argue against, hilarious dog massage riff.
Adam is further describing the woman and her comatose state and his backpack being removed from his lap in contrast to her “furry backpack” and now Adam is saying it’s the same flight where the dogs scrapped in 1st class.
3rd story is on the more than half of the couples who don’t have sex on their wedding night, the number reason being intoxication.
Adam is now mocking the idea of “too drunk for a lady” in comparison to a man who can’t achieve an erection, hilarious “I’m gonna yak on your dork” comment from Ace.
Alison has an equal and hilarious follow up, Adam says he doesn’t remember and doesn’t think he had sex on his own wedding night.
Alison is now relieved that Adam is revealing this, she already feels like she doesn’t want to, Adam is saying that people are now tired of fucking by the time they get married in comparison to bygone eras of chastity.
“Well now you marry somebody you’ve lived with for 7 years and banged on the 1st date, what the fuck!?” – Adam on modern marriage.
4th Story is on a law in Michigan that states a pint has to be 16 ounces and you can’t underserve anyone who orders it.
Adam is now asking bartenders who pour too much of a head on his beer to take a hit of it and refresh the pour.
Adam is now complimenting the dude who proposes this bill in the state of Michigan, in lieu of all their other ongoing problems, hilarious one sided improv from Ace.
Alison has a thematic closer for the state they’re in and BB is complimenting the local beer he enjoyed pre-show.
Adam is now mocking BB and telling him to piss himself, he’s saying if you got a brain tumor you should take full advantage of it and blaming him for the show wrapping up early, he just sold him out to the audience, gold!
Adam is giving out some plugs and wrapping the show and something tells me more than a few of the fans in attendance will be sticking around for show no. 2.