Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 10/10/2017 – Christopher Titus
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Christopher Titus
Recorded 10-09-2017 – Release Date 10-10-2017
Production Number #2176
Adam opens the show to a “Happy Indigenous Peoples Day” intro, Adam thanks the fans for all of the support as they head into the 9th year of the podcast.
BB has a great “It’s Not!” drop and then Adam saying “You cannot begrudge from the Be-grave” as today’s #TopDrop after Adam welcomes both BB and Gina to the show.
Adam is making a point about practice and jokes about holding his tongue regarding Sonny’s flag football game, Adam describes his less than impressive outing.
Adam jokes about the movie ‘Cruising’ and brown flags, various gay hookup codes/accoutrements.
Adam is now talking about how all of the various plays were affected by the time wasted waiting for the football to descend from the heavens.
Adam talked to Lynette about it and then went over and spoke to the coach at her behest regarding the snapping that was delaying their plays and altering the game.
Adam talks about his history with snapping footballs, he explains what a shotgun snap is and Gina asks about “under center” snaps which Adam honestly thanks BB for describing.
Adam says that the only thing they did well when he played Highschool ball was the snapping, Adam says he told the coach he needs to devote a day to just learning how to long snap and practice to prevent this from happening during the games.
Adam talks about trying out with Steve from ‘The Adam Carolla Project’ and being offered a job long snapping as he was still that good, even years removed from practice and competitive playing.
Adam is now having them play a snap from a recent NFL game as he describes how it messes up the timing and changes the game, Adam wants to know why they don’t have snapping mastered even at the highest professional level.
Adam asks why they don’t take the players aside and practice just snapping technique.
BB shares his theory about this being a backup player, Gary is on mic and says it appears to be their starting center player as he reviewed the footage of the Green Bay game Adam had him get clips from.
“occasionally bang Pam Anderson” – Adam
Audible.com – Millions of Audible members, A-List, Dawson is on “a list… do not resuscitate” Edition
BB is now bringing up a possible “ultimate tool tune” that he heard while on the way to Chris Morgan’s house on Saturday night.
They’re now playing the song “High on You” by Survivor and providing live commentary over it. Adam clarifies the real rules for determining what is a “Tool Tune” and how you would not want to be caught dead being witnessed by a black person listening to said song, that’s the simplest way to determine what kind of song you’re dealing with.
Adam remarks he can always tell when Dawson likes a song, Dawson admits to both front and back selling this track while working in radio.
Adam has this song as a Top 5 Tool Tune and asks everyone to weigh in, BB further describes what a tool tune is, trying to reaffirm its “his and his brothers” invention.
Gina weighs in and Adam says this song is good if you just fell in love with a chick with big hair, bad if you just got divorced.
Adam is now asking Dawson to sell this song, Max FM like Jack FM but they lean gay, he further riffs about gay radio events and rolls in The Outfield’s “I Don’t Wanna Lose Your Love” and describes how there is no room for a post on that song.
SimpliSafe – No wires, no mess, no drilling standard Edition
Adam plugs some upcoming live dates, Nashville and Minneapolis.
What Can’t Adam Complain About?
1st WACA – “Duder” thinks Adam cannot complain about beer, Adam is talking about travelling with people like Mike August who like Corona beer, he jokes about Mike doing the “so no Corona then?” 2nd lap with the bartender and then jokes about him doing a 3rd lap with the question which results in a ‘Candyman’ scenario where a huge black man comes out and kills him, hilarious!
Adam is bothered by people taking a Corona over a more artisan choice, Adam loves on tap beer and wants it made clearer when beer is in the bottle or on tap, he then mocks the animals who take 1-2 draws off a beer and then abandon it.
Adam and BB both emphatically tell people to “finish their beer” and Adam brings up the guy holding his beer while giving the middle finger to the mass shooter in Las Vegas.
Adam is happy about going to Sonny’s football game, he brought some IPA’s along with him to take the edge off, he gave on to Lynette who was unsure if they could consume it at the game, Adam argued that there are too many drink choices that people wouldn’t be able to tell.
Adam is riffing about “consequence and impunity” as he suggests people drink while driving, hilarious objections from BB.
2nd WACA Will, he doesn’t think Adam can complain about having the house to himself to jerkoff.
Adam jokes about the “just because” phone call, Gina is now doing the improv scene, with Adam asking about her plans, trying to estimate his time for jizzing and watching porn.
Hilarious “toot on the horn” back and forth.
Adam goes back to Will, Adam is now trying to find a way to complain about it, he brings up ‘Modern Man’ and the time spent wasted perusing for pornography on the internet.
Adam says the best thing your wife could do is claim she would be bursting through the door in 14min, to save you from wasting time.
Adam is now talking about fantasy football and internet porn and the collective time wasted by modern man on both activities, Adam recalls the jack off time “lockout” rule of the thumb he came up with.
Adam is recalling ACS #1364 with Guest – Pete Holmes, Recorded 07-09-2014 – Release Date 07-10-2014 which is very impressive he even recalls this discussion as it was from over 3 years ago.
Adam is hoping that Dawson is eventually brought up on charges and jokes about Dawson’s counter offer instead of prison time, hilarious!
3rd WACA Jeff, he says Adam can’t complain about stay at home dads who do literally everything, Jeff brags a bunch and Adam says he’s guessing that Jeff’s wife appreciates this stuff somewhere between 0% and -0% which Jeff confirms as he picks his daughter up from the school bus.
Adam is talking about the luxury of having someone who is handy to solve problems immediately, how people can’t and won’t appreciate it for more than 10 seconds, you get taken for granted which BB says is the cornerstone of any relationship.
Adam is saying having the handy person live on site is the best possible scenario, he talks about Lynette having a flat tire and the convenience of having someone fix it while she records a podcast only to return a fixed car.
Adam says he gets something out of doing this stuff, but 90% of it is demo and hard work.
Adam jokes about him and Jeff both being millionaire comedians, Adam says you can’t compare him to a guy who makes 40k per year, you got to compare him to Gilbert Gottfried.
Adam is now setting up a clip from a recent Take a Knee with Van Jones.
Adam is now talking about walking Phil earlier in the day, observing the poker face that men sport while running, he says women grimace while running.
BB has a “ladies be grimacing” and Adam is talking about wiring and asks why men appear stoic and Gina jokes about the mammary related dangers of her running.
Gina thinks women are sporting a shitty facial expression to keep people away from them and men from bothering them, Adam jokes about tossing one of the women passing him a “looking good M’Lady” and he thinks women have more expression, even at the gym.
BB thinks guys zone out on the run, while women are thinking about things.
Adam asks if people are unconsciously trying to convey an idea or attitude, BB plays the Jane Goodall drop and Gina talks about trying to avoid resting bitch face when encountering fans of the show.
Blue Apron – The All-Star Recipe line up Edition
They head to break
Dave says they like to use the framework of sports to tackle life, Adam jokes about how little they discuss sports on this show.
They both talk about Cam Newton and Adam has an Earnest Bigot style reply about black men not being fit to be quarterbacks.
Dave compliments Cam’s apology and Adam makes a point about Cam’s upbringing and his unpaid parking tickets, stolen computer story etc. while making a larger point about how we’re holding people to standards completely foreign to their upbringing and history.
Dave is making a larger point about the avalanche of outrage aimed at Cam in comparison to the outrageous shit we let other people slide with in society.
Adam is now talking about social justice warriors and their inability to fairly estimate offenses, they would give the Vegas mass shooter a 10 out of 10 for worst humans, Cam would get an 8.
Dave is now asking for some more “Over/Under” and he suggest Led Zeppelin, he brings up the song ‘Cashmere’ and Adam talks about the symphonic nature of the song, he cites other bands that used a symphonic sound for their 70’s rock hits.
Adam likes ‘Cashmere’ but he has a problem as P. Diddy (Puff Daddy at the time) sampled it for the ‘Godzilla’ soundtrack in 1998.
Adam jokes about designing logos and sampling other logos, saying he would sample the Coca Cola logo for his own new logo.
They are now listening to the song, Adam is arguing against the people who claim to like the song, that’s from a faraway land and another era.
Bet DSI – Use your sports knowledge, awkwardly inserted Edition
Dave comes back to close out the Good Sports segment.
They return to the show with a listener voicemail about a guy who unfriended someone for saying his best friend was his wife.
Christopher Titus is now joining the show for his 9th appearance, he was a LoveLine legend who guested many times during the 2000 – 2005 era, some of my all-time favorite episodes!
They’re now discussing ‘Special Unit’ and how it was kyboshed by a barista back in 2005 during the testing period, they talk about Bryan Cranston directing the original pilot.
Adam is talking about the new golden era of TV and how it all can be attributed to smart executives cutting checks and letting creators do their thing.
Christopher name drops some executives who work that way, citing Doug Herzog and a few others.
Christopher is talking about taking inspiration from Adam and worshipping him, Adam talks about the only difference between him and Adam is that Adam has been driving Japanese cars while Titus is still going strong with the American Muscle. Adam brings up the Corvette he recently drove.
Adam is back to ‘Special Unit’ which Titus first promoted on LoveLine over 12 years ago and filmed around the same time.
Adam talks about Titus using the studio to film the movie and how inspired and impressed he is that he got it made and kept with it.
Christopher says it was the best time he ever had and he shares how easy the disabled actors were to work with, Adam shares how he was lamenting that everything on IMDb is ranked at 7.3 and how unreliable it is for measuring quality.
Christopher talks about Peter Farrelly getting involved in the movie, he explains how he saw the pilot and asked to see the theatrical script, as they often feature actors with different accessibility needs in their movies.
Titus shares how Peter gave him page 1 rewrite script notes, leading to many revisions and abandoned plot threads, Titus says he’s not used to kindness and was trying to see what he was angling for, turns out he feels they didn’t get it right with ‘The Ringer’ and this movie was chance to help someone create a better comedy with a mostly disabled cast.
Adam is sharing his “all your favorite ingredients in a kettle but it still tastes like shit” logic and he asks Titus about the shooting schedule.
Titus recommends hiring a young stuntman as went the loyalty route and used an older guy who ended up wrecking the car, he also recommends hiring young camera people and describes how close the camera guy was to the car as it passed his head.
Adam says he was watching and joked about them “bending the axel” in the movie, he shares how the script supervisor told him to use the car wreck as a plot in the movie, Titus thanks Adam for watching it and talks about the comedic school shooting in the movie.
True Car – upfront pricing, maybe get that Dodge that’s got a little limp Edition
1st Story is on Mike Pence’s protest of the NFL players at the most recent ‘Colts’ game, Gina has some quotes and a clip from a player saying this was a planned PR move, Adam mocks the notion of “systemic oppression” existing in the United States in 2017.
Adam says pro football is the exact opposite of systematic oppression, the system wants success, there is no room for charity hires nor trying to stack the teams with lesser talented white players.
Adam agrees with Titus about this being a ploy from the Vice President, Adam says it’s officially on and now a Hatfield and the McCoy’s and BB calls it a “small dick” move.
BB screams “big to small” and Adam says the whole knee protest is based on a lie, Adam tells Titus that there is no difference according to the statistics of cops shooting people.
It seems that way due to the narrative in media, but the stats don’t show any such bias.
Adam is now asking for the footage of the bad long snap from this weekend’s game, he asks them to watch the low and slow ball, there is no spin on it.
Adam wants the players to treat it as a teaching day and learn from the mistakes.
2nd Story is on Miami Dolphins offensive line coach Chris Foerster snorting white powder on camera, Adam talks about people deciding to tell the boss off while drunk at a Christmas party, it’s part of that person that wants out revealing itself.
Titus has his hand up as he recalls the story of the time he told off the Fox network executive in a production meeting about his show which resulted in its eventual cancellation.
Christopher says Trump is doing the exact self-destruction move Adam is describing, “you don’t have to film yourself doing coke” – Adam
Christopher thinks Chris Foerster was trying to get laid, Adam jokes about how funny it will be when he tries to say it’s not coke and now Adam and BB are arguing for a beaked up offensive line coach.
BB has a killer “deer antler spray” one liner after Adam jokes about bottling whatever Ray Lewis was on when he would get hyped pregame in the end zone.
Legal zoom – Never win about billable hours, not a law firm, fixed rates standard Edition
They are now watching Ray Lewis, Adam says he was actually mad at the field and BB says he also killed a dude, Adam clarifies he was present and might not have actually killed anyone.
Adam is now quoting Otis Sistrunk whom he calls the blackest and baldest man of his era, BB is playing some Isaac Hayes and Christopher is doing his “Willie Jell-O Johnson” character.
Adam is arguing that you cannot go blacker than Otis and now Isaac is arguing for himself as the blackest and baldest man of that era, hilarious back and forth.
3rd Story is on OJ Simpson’s quest for companionship after being released from prison, she quotes Dennis Hof saying he wanted to stop by The Bunny Ranch, a woman matching Nicole Brown’s description.
Gina shares how some of the women have threatened to quit if OJ is allowed to come do business, Adam has a killer joke about OJ having knives at dinner.
Adam says the door is always open for OJ doing porn, Adam is asking for the over/under on the check that would need to be cut for OJ to film a porn movie with a woman who resembled his ex-wife.
Adam has everyone right down their number and then make and argument for their own guess, Adam jokes about getting one of the Farleys (Farrelly) to punch up the script that Titus says he’s going to write.
They all now share their numbers, BB and Titus both went with a million and BB suggests the middle east would finance it.
Adam jokes about them having a scene where the condom doesn’t fit, better go get a magnum.
Gary shares his far too realistic take on things and then Adam has him indulge with the fantasy scenario and Dawson gives his guess on the number as well.
4th Story is the Tom Petty tribute during a Florida Gators game, Adam jokes about doing a tribute to a late comedian and just covering like 20min of George Carlin’s material.
Christopher talks about needing to take an 18 month break between shows at different clubs, Adam shares how much people love cover songs and how nobody has room for even repeated comedy let alone someone covering old material.
Gina has a clip of the stadium singing along to ‘Won’t Back Down’ and they wrap the news.
LifeLock – Equifax breach, your info is out there and thieves can buy it on the dark web Edition
Adam is giving out the closing plugs and shares how long ‘Special Unit’ has been brewing, recalling Titus bringing it over to his old house to screen the pilot.
They wrap the show to a “Hell Yeah” from a listener during the WCACA segment.