Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 10/10/2013 – Nick Offerman, Live from Amalfi
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Nick Offerman, Live from Amalfi
Recorded 10-09-2013 – Release Date 10-10-2013
Production Number #1182
Nick is now returning to the ACS for his 2nd visit after an absence since April of 2010, he does have a couple “Ace on the House” visits in between, including a wonderful tour of his woodshop with Ray and Ace.
Adam is using Bryan’s new “silk” nickname and praising Nick’s book, he’s actually listening to the audiobook and getting Nick to breakdown the origins of the material and his one man live show.
Alison has an anecdote about overhearing Mike August talk about Adam having a digital book and Adam is now labeling him “born to confuse” and sharing his own anecdote after a series of hilarious quotes.
Adam is now riffing on “a gun to his balls” and is claiming that would really put him off in comparison to a barrel pointed at the head.
Adam is now explaining how “Cougarlife.com” was used to mask the booking for the “AhsleyMadison.com” CEO and Adam is calling the guy a delight despite the confusion.
Adam is now bringing up “Parks and Recreation” and how he saw the episode Nick wrote while on a plane, it was enumerated with many killer lines for Nick.
Nick is now sharing his journey from a small town outside of Chicago, Adam is now breaking out some rare defense of parents in the 70’s and citing how cars were so shitty at the time it was a dicey proposal to make lengthy drives.
Adam is busting out some great one liners about the sadness that surrounded his childhood in contrast to the bygone era Nick seemingly came from, he’s asking Nick how he’s enjoyed life in Los Angeles and Chicago in contrast to his small town.
Adam is now riffing about his trip to Nick’s woodshop and he’s trying to relate how Nick uses woodworking for metaphorical building of his soul, hilarious one liners about him trying to profit off his craft.
Nick used the term “soul dollars” and his giggle is starting to kill me, Adam is once again bringing up the bad sound from earlier in the show and Dawson is now explaining what he’s dealing with “under very difficult circumstances”.
Nick is now mocking Brian McKnight and the idea of him waxing poetic on the performing arts and the need for them in public school.
Nick is now breaking down all the ways the system has failed the people of today when it comes to tool knowledge and the ability to use ones hands for crafting.
Adam is telling the gang about Sonny’s role as a Ring Bearer for a wedding and Adam is joking about witnessing someone hear something for the first time “Ring Bear” was the misunderstanding much like I mixed up as a kid as well.
Adam is joking with Alison about Sonny’s chances at becoming a bear one day, a different kind of bear but one nonetheless.
Adam is telling the gang about missing an exit while driving to shoot the cover for his upcoming 3rd book, he was listening to Nick’s book and became distracted by his words.
Adam is now joking about where he did the shoot and the proximity between both of their woodshops.
Adam is sharing how he forgot to wear underpants and was now going to be rubbing his balls on the suit that will either be worn by another gent of returned to the Nordstrom’s.
Adam is explaining his comment regarding not caring about them seeing his junk but being concerned about a lawsuit, he’s now joking with BB and the gang about it.
Adam is now riffing about Ray originating the “turtle” move and BB is calling him the true founder of “Puppetry of the Penis” and Alison is describing the “wrist watch” move of wrapping ones dong around their wrist to impress a girlfriend.
Alison is now quizzing Adam about Ray’s ability to piss on people at parties and Adam is now joking about wounded war veterans and the idea of not feeling major injuries in heightened scenarios.
Adam and BB are riffing about body temp liquids and peeing, Nick just tripped over a buzzword and almost learned of “The Jacuzzi Water Gun”, BB is now singing the praises of “In a World” and asking him about the film.
Nick is asking about Mangria and then explaining why he can’t drink, Adam isn’t bothering to explain the origins and I assume will do so off air.
Nick is singing the praises of Lake Bell and Alison is now pausing things to let Adam explain the derivation of the substance.
Adam is now ordering Mike Lynch to write this down, he’s talking about the varieties of bottles the wine comes in, “the inny belly button of booze” and he’s got a “and other times it’s like you’re finger blasting mama Cass” to describing the great variety of the “notch” as BB calls it.
Nick is offering to doff an imaginary cap and Adam is wrapping up the origin story of “Mangria”.
Adam is now telling the gang about waking up to his daughter “peppermint patty” waking him up with a beating.
Alison is asking him about what was up, this is in response to BB loading the crazy Natalia “I’m home” scream into the news intro, and Adam is joking about how it’s now wearing thin.
BB has a funny crush one liner and Adam is mocking how she relates to men, Alison has a nice reassuring comment and is now quizzing Adam about how fast he gets into a bathrobe after getting home.
Adam is now stating he only gets in the robe for shadowboxing, Alison is asking him why and he’s explaining that the robe makes you feel like you’re a professional boxer.
Her Top story is on a charity paying military death benefits to families who’ve lost someone in war until the government is back up and running and can reimburse the charity and get their payment schedule back on track.
They’re now discussing the nature of these payouts and Adam is of two minds about it, he’s sharing the details of his buddy Dave, former Burbank Citizen of the year Dave who was discharged for beating a superior officer with a shoe.
Alison is telling the gang about her ex who was in the army and was better at sewing that she was, Adam wishes he went into some branch of the armed forces instead of fucking around cleaning carpets.
Adam is telling the gang about his son going off to cub scouts and how sweat it was to witness him break out the salute/pledge.
Adam is now sharing a classic MSB = Man Show Boy sketch, wear he went to help 30yr old women across the street and Adam is waxing poetic on witnessing the very moment a women considers her advancing age.
2nd Story is on the un-ticketed boy who flew from MSP to LAS on Delta Airlines.
Alison is now explaining the actual details of how he was able to board the airline without being detained, Alison is reading the quotes from the family regarding the child’s other exploits at age 9.
Adam is now sharing an anecdote with a killer “bag full of fajitas” one liner and he’s now back in the mix breaking down the story with A-Rose.
Adam is explaining how he threatened to run away and ended up sleeping in a car in the driveway, he’s using his sister’s actual running away and their lack of a search effort to explain why he saw that as less than realistic option.
3rd Story is on Scarlett Johansson being named sexiest woman alive once again, Adam is saying that a certain point it becomes about taste when you reach a certain level of attractiveness.
Adam is explaining how she ended up on his top 5 list for women who would not enjoy fucking him, Nick is singing the praises for his gorgeous wife Megan Mullally.
Adam is now riffing about Nick’s altar boy days and his family’s reaction to his book, Nick’s family made sure to read his book in the “galleys” form even, in stark contrast to Adam’s family.
Adam is now riffing about asswipe not being much of an insult, the insult would be someone who doesn’t clean their ass, and Alison has a bizarre in cab birth scenario that I do appreciate!
Adam is bringing up the part of writing a book that ends with a phone call with your editor and an attorney, BB is sharing that he’s scheduled for that very call tomorrow morning.
Adam is sharing the “are your parents litigious” question from the publisher’s attorney.
Adam is describing the Mexican standoff with is mom over his 2nd book much to the delight of Nick.
3rd Story is on the Nielsen Company unveiling their twitter technology for tracking ratings.
Adam is bringing up the party point shitters who would claim to be or know Nielsen box households when people are commenting on how rare it always seemed.
Adam is now explaining why the twitter measurement is an unfair system to judge, he’s citing Breaking Bad vs. Duck Dynasty to seal the logic of his point.
Alison is reading their own admission regarding twitter being unbalanced for this tracking and now Adam is addressing Miley Cyrus being on the highest rated TV episodes and asking about her talent level.
Adam is now riffing on Alan Thicke and Alison brings up “Thicke of the Night” it’s now lead them to mock people with names that include things like evening and others words that can be used in wordplay for titling TV programs.
Adam is bringing up the great moments in Carolla history, the DVD option for academy award movie screeners for his grandmother and his attempt to convince her to switch at no expense to her.
“She’s the Patton of Grandma’s of North Hollywood” – Adam on his late Grandmother Helen
Adam is telling the gang about the record albums the academy used to send out for the music considerations, he’s citing the German version of “chitty chitty bang bang” that becomes “Shitty Shitty”.
BB is telling Adam that it must be a reference to “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” and not what Adam says, of course.
Adam is asking Nick about working on the book and if other names of comedic authors were brought up and he’s going in-depth on the process of culling material beyond his live one man show.
Adam is now riffing on the term “Japanese Gazebo” and joking with Alison about it in reply to Nick telling them about his work with wood.
Jay Leno asked for Nick to build him a Canoe and is explaining why the 3 year lead time left him a bit miffed.
Adam is breaking down the complex use of wood and joints involved in forming the precise oars crafted by Nick Offerman.
Adam is now riffing on how you craft a dado joint with a table saw, he’s really painting the picture of hos dicey this work can be and Adam is sharing the story of the time he was working in the cabinet shop of Tom Johnson.
Adam was working building cabinets all night, Adam was using a router and Nick is helping him flesh out the danger he found himself in by misusing the tool.
Adam revealed he actually junked the tool after escaping with all of his digits intact.
5th Story is on an article trying to figure out the rules regarding spoilers in society.
Adam is now joking about Breaking Bad and east coast viewers getting advance viewings, he’s citing the ending spoiler he got for BB within an hour of it airing.
Adam is now bringing up the NFL scores being run on other games and how he doesn’t like that, he’s saying it’s viewer beware now and calling for personal responsibility.
Adam is citing his thoughts about “Gravity” and how he hasn’t addressed them on purpose as he knows many people still haven’t seen it yet.
Adam is now joking about Clooney’s “tooting” jetpack in the movie “Gravity” and they’re further riffing, Adam is adding terry cloth to the lack of materials in the future, among denim and non-aperture style doors.
Alison is wrapping the news, Adam is giving some plugs and wrapping the show.