Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 10/01/2013 – Tom Barnard, Live from The Minneapolis Varsity Theater

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Tom Barnard, Live from The Minneapolis Varsity Theater

Recorded 09-27-2013 – Release Date 10-01-2013

Production Number #1175

Show Page

Adam is opening the show with another great use of the new classic drop from the Aceman, a quasi-insulting/funny off the cuff taint intro for Alison and a nice intro for Tom making his ACS debut.

Adam is picking Tom’s brain about his 29 years in morning radio and is quizzing him on the various reactions he receives when people find out about his schedule, BB and Alison are chiming in with some solid assists.

BB just made sure to point out that Adam left morning radio when the station collapsed, Adam has some funny comedy about adding lovely while describing anyone’s wife as nobody will disagree with the comment.


Q and Ace

“I care that little about my product” – Adam Carolla

1st Question from Tricia, Adam misses her name and remarks on how it’s not a widely used name in modern times, Alison agrees.

Her husband is obsessed with the ACS and Adam’s podcast network, she wants to know what she can do to remedy his constant talk about Adam


Adam is now taking it to his daughter and her scabies, Adam is remarking on the good/bad reasons for “treating bedding”, the rich man/poor man of the bedroom.

Adam is telling Tom about Mike August and his role with the network and the live shows, kidding as usual and overlooking all of the business stuff he does behind the scenes, even at venues.

Adam is now riffing about Bud Grant and getting it back to Natalia’s scabies and how the podcast is ear scabies for her husband.


2nd Question from Justin, he wants to know if he’s doomed with a minivan for his family or can afford to get something sportier and Adam has a sense memory bit of logic to help Justin get his cool car.

Adam is now riffing about beating off in the minivan with dual headrest screens, Alison and BB are in the mix and Adam is now asking Tom about his mode of transportation, but almost spooks him by addressing him.

Adam has a nice variant on “Jinx you owe me a coke”.


3rd Question from David asking about Adam’s plan for his retirement should he ever stop working.

Adam is predicting years of vintage racing, possible whoring and Alison is now quizzing him about it.

Adam is telling the gang about the contrast of Dr. Drew going out to Amherst to witness his daughter trying out for the soccer team and how he’ll never become that guy.


Adam is now explaining the good news of never having to retire from professional complaining and he’s bringing Tom into the mix, he can relate but is a bit muted in his reply.

Adam is sharing the “when daddy stops complaining” response he always has chambered, several nice callbacks in the riff too.

Alison is sharing Adam’s personal hell of fans swarming him with photos of things that piss him off.


Adam’s joke about reading his daughters brail scabies and how he’s not that well versed in brail but does read some at the ATM.


4th Question from Chad, he wants to know if Adam has ever had a very strong opinion and done a complete 180.

Adam is trying to recall his Loveline days of complaining, he’s bringing up the shift in his opinion of Jay Mohr based on his 2001 and 2004 Loveline episodes.

Adam is bringing up his 2001 episode where he yelled at them after he was doing material most the show, a classic episode indeed!


Adam is also citing his minimizing of Drew’s canary in the coal mine style predictions about HPV and cancer, very bold of Adam to admit.

Alison is asking Adam about his take on threesomes and if that’s evolved since Loveline, she was and is an avid listener of Classic Loveline, she’s awesome!

Adam is now brining up dream logic and lucid dreaming, he’s bringing Tom into the mix and Adam is saying he wishes someone would have tapped him on the shoulder at 23 and told him the fate of his current relationship and recommended anal and threesomes, the ghost of poontang future as it were.

Tom is telling the gang how he met his wife and BB has Adam doing an impromptu stripper DJ bit.

Adam is now mocking Lynette’s under the covers moaning about the ceiling fan being too cold when she’s asleep and Adam moves the covers, classic bit!


Adam is now impersonating the noise a ceiling fan makes when it tries to get started, hilarious impression.

Adam is mocking her forehead temperature complaints and has a hilarious white noise joke.

Adam is bringing up how will steer and honk for the driver when he’s the passenger, he tried to do both the very next day after this episode while I was driving him around Chicago.


Adam is mocking his dad’s air breaking attempts when Adam is doing the driving and he’s the passenger, Adam is now bringing up the other thing he does that drives him insane, he’s describing trying to get his dad to follow him in another car.

Adam is now riffing with BB and Alison about people giving directions after he wraps up his riff about the two mode people follow in, either getting lost or drafting behind your car.


Alison’s News

Her top story is on sell by dates causing people to throw out millions of pounds of non-expired food each year.

Adam is now telling the gang about his sniffing of milk, his rule regarding cereal vs. coffee use.

Adam is now bringing up his efforts to prevent melting plastic over his toaster oven, he’s sharing how he erupted about the lid being melted and asked if he needed to put two screws above the toaster oven.


Adam is now riffing about takeout containers, the metal Italian food ones and the Chinese containers with the metal handles.

Adam is trying to bring Tom back into the mix, this is becoming hilarious with him just playing handball against the Tom drapes.

Adam can’t even get him to admit to eating meals, and BB is mocking him with drops.

Adam is now riffing about consuming bad wine and has a great pussy inclusion that Alison pledges to modify into a tattoo.

Adam is joking about drinking spoiled wine and the sure sign it’s gone bad when the bottle saver almost auto ejects.


Adam is killing it with the “Tom?” replies and he’s now going off on gluten, and saying that trying to tell him it tastes better than the gluten full version won’t work.


2nd Story is on a haunted House in Pennsylvania doing a naked and scared challenge

Alison is sharing her recent attempt with Daniel to use the open air instead of air conditioning after a costly electric bill and how it lasted about two hours tops.

Adam is now saying the only reason to go to a haunted house is to hear a chick fart, he’s bringing up the time he went on a date with Phyllis to see “Halloween” and she farted.


Adam’s now mocking the names of Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees.

Adam’s killing it with the descriptions of their modus operandi, Adam is bringing up how it was the greatest moment of his life due to her embarrassment.

Alison is sharing own story of an accidental toot while shopping for dorm supplies upon entering college.


Adam is now riffing about the boner on the guy pretending to be a ghoul at the Pennsylvania haunted house, Adam is calling that prison shower room scary.


3rd Story is on a guy who noticed a man with a concealed weapon at a bank in Connecticut

Alison is now reciting the details of the story, including how he was arrested.

Adam is bringing up the time he spotted the air marshal on his flight and the time he was pulled over after getting his BMW M3 out of the shop, Adam was testing the car and saw his “LAPD” baseball cap he was wearing by chance.


Adam is now explaining how you too can use this to get out of a ticket and he’s dispelling the rumor of not being able to rip up a ticket.

He’s now explaining police bias and how it can really benefit or hurt you, Alison wants to know if he as cop friends and he doesn’t really need them as he has cop fans!


4th Story is about Sex offenders in Orange California

Adam is now mocking the extra cop talk and wants to know if they also bring that home with them and bust it out with the wife and the kids, the cops in the audience are taking it well.

Adam’s pissed and on his number the cities rant, the one that lets people know of a cities actual quality beyond misleading names.


Adam is now asking for neighborhoods to be numbered and ranting about the kids being bussed into his hood, this is so Meta and hilarious, you could extrapolate this to some of his other political ideas.

Adam is now asking if this goes on here and Alison is mocking BB’s attempts at pronouncing the names of various cities in Minnesota.

Adam has a killer response to Alison’s question about how he handles trick or treat’ers.


Alison want to know if Adam is compelled to sit on abandoned roadside couches much like she is, she’s commenting on how she sees decent looking furniture abandoned and is almost compelled to check it out before becoming concerned of what happened to it.

Adam is blaming IKEA and citing how people used to not go through furniture or skillets, unlike today where people replace stuff all the time and throw stuff out when they move.

Adam and Alison are connecting it to their parents and their hand me down furniture they still possess.


Adam is explaining that he bought a 1200$ leather sofa, BB is now calling Adam on leasing a couch, but he actually just bought it on credit.

Adam is bringing up how the shitty mindset of a bad family leads one to not being able to buy themselves a sofa, even when they can afford it, I’m nearly 30 and have never bought nor owned one, he’s so right and so is Alison as well.


Alison is now finishing the sex offender story after Dawson’s Hentertaining legalese on that last live read.


Adam is now ranting about consent and the sex offender registry, he’s calling for actual offenders to be focused on and is now riffing with Alison about a pouting penis lawn sign, comedy gold!


5th Story is on a British Safari Park

Adam is explaining why he’s not going to ever do one of these, he feels underwhelmed by the sight of a giraffe before ever witnessing one in person.

Alison’s story is people wearing animal print and how it can be dangerous for the park, Alison wants to know how dumb the animals are and Adam has a funny New Jersey one liner.

Alison is bringing up how limping wakes up the wild cats who naturally stalk the injured.


Adam is now asking how can humans be so fucking dumb, let alone animals, Alison is wrapping the news.


Adam is doing the final live read with some great assistance from BB, hilarious read!

Adam is thanking Tom and plugging his show, he’s giving out the plugs and wrapping their last show from Minneapolis for 2013.