19 Sep Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 09/19/2016 – Akbar Gbaja-Biamila
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Akbar Gbaja-Biamila
Recorded 09-16-2016 – Release Date 09-19-2016
Production Number #1904
Adam opens the show to a funny intro from Dawson and Lynch mocking Adam saying he threw out his back trying to pronounce Akbar’s name and he briefly reflects on his NFL career along with BB.
BB has a #TopDrop from the end of ACS #1903 where Adam observed that he doesn’t talk enough while mocking himself for talking too much.
Adam is now talking about the dentist tapping on a cavity, aware it’s going to be painful, his staff is the same way and he talks about the jumbo sized Nestle Hazelnut Flavored Coffee mate, Adam says the guys in the shop drink it and he thinks they got the giant container to enrage him.
Adam is now reading the first two ingredients, water, vegetable oil and he says it’s never a good sign when they have “and/or” used in the ingredients, Adam is reading off the rest of the chemicals and he says the bad side is it’s bad for you and it’s super fattening.
Adam jokes about making Jewish people pay for ovens to burn people, Gina brings up Nestle Quick Chocolate Milk and how it was advertised that you didn’t need to refrigerate it.
Adam says Jimmy is getting ready to host the Emmy Awards and he comments on the heavy schedule he has yet how he had time to make sure Adam got his invite to the after party, he is commenting on the email timing and how he didn’t reply to him until nearly midnight.
Adam makes note of Jimmy’s quick reply and he transitions to Heidi Klum and her “vacuous pile of nothing” which gets nominated for an Emmy every year, he thinks her and her cohost Tim Gunn and thinks their annual nominations are chick and gay guy affirmative action in Hollywood.
Adam asks if he should kill himself in advance as he further laments Jeff Probst never being nominated, they all weigh in and Adam says he knows who is crushing it as a host and who is not.
Adam asks what world are we living in and he lists all of Heidi’s crutches in her job duties vs. someone like Probst who has been cranking away on ‘Survivor’ for 53 years.
Adam asks Gary to pull a clip and he mentions Tom Bergeron hosting ‘Dancing with The Stars’ and Adam promises to tell them about the post Emmy party he’s going to attend/will have attended by the time this airs.
Adam brings up ‘American Ninja Warrior’ and Gina says she’s been a big fan of the show for a few seasons now, saying she got in early on the show…
Blue Apron
700k packages of nutmeg lying around edition
Gary has a clip of Heidi from her show ‘Project Runway’ and Adam rolls back some of his comments with his tongue in his cheek, slightly mocking Heidi for not blowing it as much but also mocking Gary for his clip choice as per usual.
The move on to the calls.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Steve, he’s asking about the pending government regulations for new companies like Uber and Lyft, Adam stops Steve and Adam comments on how hard we lecture society about buzzed and drunk driving, why discourage ride sharing services in a world where this is a real issue.
Adam is now asking for stats on DUI fatalities and arrests before and after ride sharing came to prominence, Gary has a new study that shows Uber has not connection nor effect to DUI fatality stats.
BB says it seems incorrect and implausible, Adam is now going off on government and says he trusts Uber and Lyft, that’s between him and the private company, he doesn’t want the government acting as a middle man with regulations.
Steve brings up the thinking that the government is losing money from lost revenue from DUI arrests and other traffic/driving infractions. Adam acknowledges that grim possibility and they move on.
Adam is now reading the nominees for best reality host/presenter for the Emmy Awards.
Gina sings the praises of ‘Ru Paul’s Drag Race’ and explains the premise of the show and gets Adam on a funny BJ tangent after mentioning lip-synching, Adam comments on the Reality Series nominees and they go back to the calls.
2nd Caller Elvira, she thinks her name is Elveera, but it’s spelled like Elvira and therefor pronounced like Elvira according to Adam.
BB jokes about it being a last minute choice for his baby and Adam asks her about spending her entire life correcting people, she explains her parents are Ukrainian and Adam says it’s time coach up her parents and use the American English pronunciation of the name they chose.
Elvira is coming out next Friday to see them live and she emailed Mike August asking him about some possible food options, he didn’t give her a definitive selection and she mentions deviled eggs.
Adam is now riffing about being out of the stuff that the person making the “run” likes, you’re never out of that, but you are out of whatever Adam wants.
Adam is saying that Mike August doesn’t like deviled eggs and he’s always eating with or Lynette and the kids and nobody else like the deviled eggs, he has to make a difficult choice to either all 6 that come in a serving or try and smuggle some home.
Adam brings up beets and sings the praises for them, Gina has never tried deviled eggs and Adam shares a story of Mike August forgetting to order some deviled eggs and forgetting to stop by and pick Adam up before heading to the BBQ joint to get dinner.
Elvira is telling them about her recipes for the various items she intends to bring, Adam is telling her to blow a bouncer to get the food backstage waiting for them.
Gina tells them about trying cabbage rolls while on the road with the gang.
Onnit
Tom just texted Adam to tell him he’s out, no can do with the Warrior bar, he needs oil and water in his coffee edition
Adam tells them about being stuck at the shop and trying to use another jump rope the other day, it was too light and he had to give it away, the Onnit Rope is superior to all other competitors in the jump rope marketplace.
Gary has some photos of the owner/proprietor taking photos of Adam enjoying the food from the restaurant Gina brought up, Adam says the waitress looked like she had done some exotic modeling and Gary says it was a missed opportunity if she didn’t.
3rd Caller Jeremy, he’s riffing and mocks the last caller and gets a Bobo Boy noise from Chris after he asks for a rollcall of the various dudes who work on the show.
Jeremy now asks Adam a blowjob multiple choice, further mocking Elvira and Adam asks Jeremy what he produces at the factory job he works at and seems to loathe.
Jeremy is telling them about working in the windshield adhesive industry and Adam asks him about replacing his windshield, he wants to use some clear tinting film to brace the glass.
Adam is already lying about his chipped windshield, telling them he’s going to use the open trailer to explain the damage and claim he cannot get a new windshield installed out there to get an exception.
4th Caller Allen, he’s 34 and has 3 kids, he’s got a good job and he says any other gig he takes would be a lateral move at best, he explains his union benefits make him comfy but he’s scared of staring at the same computer screens for the next 30+ years.
Adam says the unintentional consequences of a union gig is the artificially inflated wage and vacation time that hobbles you and forces you to shackle yourself to a life you didn’t necessarily want nor set out for.
This ringing very true it’s akin to Adam’s take on rent controlled housing and how it limits people and forces them to stay in a smaller pond of life instead of branching out to sea and owning a home at some point before they croak.
Allen is unsure how he’s going to handle things if he makes a move and Adam says if you want to work 9-5 in life you can do that, you can maintain that but if you want more from life you need to work nights and weekends, work nonstop to create what you hope for.
Adam says create a baseline and die at the base, you’ll be ok.
Adam says he has kids, Allen is talking to a guy with kids and the idea he would even play the kid card is insane in light of the sheer amount of people who have been born in the history of earth.
Adam has a Camry vs. kid comparison and Gary has a photo of Adam’s windshield damage.
Blinds Galore
Adam and Phil’s bachelor week of fun edition
Adan has a killer Matt Fondiler is pathetic with man stuff riff, this time joking about Matt thinking a sawhorse was cruel and unusual and the crescendo with even Matt installed his own blinds.
They head to break after talking about Akbar’s name for a few moments.
They’re back from break with Akbar Gbaja-Biamila and they have a solid listener voicemail praising Gina’s role on the show.
Akbar is now correcting Adam’s pronunciation and he further coaches him, Adam now emulates Akbar’s father’s dialect and pronunciation as demonstrated by Akbar.
Adam and Akbar have a killer high school football riff, joking around about the neighborhoods and clichés, fun ribbing!
Adam is now coming up with some of the names of the skill position players that were bussed in to play for his high school team.
Adam plugs both of Akbar’s shows, ‘American Ninja Warrior’ and ‘NFL Fantasy Live’ and BB says he’s a huge fan of the latter show.
Adam is now listing off some more of Akbar’s accomplishments and jokes with him about reading them from the bio provided by his staff.
Adam is asking Akbar about Christian Okoye and if he was an inspiration for the NFL and American Football, Adam says no amount of “protein intake” can compete with solid genetics.
Akbar doesn’t eat deviled eggs and he tells them about various Nigerian delicacies, he tells them about some native vegetables and Adam shares is love for plantains.
Adam says he will never get over with his stepdad that he hates yams but loves sweet potatoes, Akbar agrees with Adam’s stepdad and BB puzzles Akbar with a drop of himself, awesome!
Akbar credits twins to consumption of yams during pregnancy, BB has a killer one liner and Adam is asking him about this book he read that mentioned yams being a possible link to multiple embryos.
Adam asks Akbar about the Emmy nomination and he shares his desire to rock a modern “ruffle” and bring it back, he goes over his suit and Adam asks for any predictions he might have.
Akbar jokes with Adam about his time on ‘Dancing with The Stars’ and he says they should have separate ranks for ex-athletes and guys like Adam, ala the Golden Glove system he took part in.
Akbar is now talking about the various contestants who compete on ‘American Ninja Warrior’ and he cites a guy with one leg who makes it quite far into the competition, Adam is further giving himself excuses about not winning ‘DWTS’ and Adam is now talking to Akbar about the show and how big it’s grown over the years.
Adam says he feels like the show has arrived and is now a big deal, Adam is now asking Akbar to thank the producers and to casually walk past Jimmy and says something to the effect of “Hey man, I haven’t seen you since that cuckolding shoot we did with Molly last week” if/when he wins.
Akbar asks if he’ll still be working on the show if he does this, hilarious comedy from Adam who has not yet told Akbar what cuckolding is.
Adam is now talking about his lack of grip strength and he explains the meaning of his last name, promising to come save Adam.
Akbar has a “bucket of rice” arm training suggestion and Adam jokes about the groups of Asians gather around the buckets when you go out of town for a few days, hilarious!
Legal Zoom
Billable hours lamentation edition
Gina’s News
Adam reads Akbar’s face and realizes that he must have looked up cuckolding, he has a killer “that’s bad” reaction and an even funnier follow up reply, killer delivery!
1st Story is on Trump’s speech at a water treatment plant to mostly black attendees that was interrupted.
Gina sets up a clip and Akbar is lost trying to follow it, he reacts to Trump dancing at the black church and Adam has a funny one liner.
They’re all now reacting to the footage, Akbar asks Adam if he’s ever been to a black church, he’s never been to any church but would prefer a black church.
Adam brings up the Steve Harvey-esque suits worn by many of the pastors in black churches and Akbar tells them about his various churches that he attends, Adam asks him about the Sunday mass, he says listens to Joel Osteen on Sirius and he finds him inspiring.
Adam asks what’s good about him after Gina comments that’s he’s widely enjoyed by even non-religious listeners, Akbar says he’s motivational and tells great stories.
2nd Story is on Colin Powell’s leaked emails pertaining to Hillary Clinton.
The gang react to the emails and now Adam is using football to make a point about accountability, he says successful people vs. unsuccessful people is internalizing vs. externalizing blame and learning from mistakes.
Akbar likes Adam’s logic and football specificity, Adam asks how you can correct a behavior that’s not your fault, Akbar tells them about how he struggled for the first year hosting ‘American Ninja Warrior’ and was given a hard time with the teleprompter and getting his diction perfect, somehow better producers in the 2nd season helped him relax yet he still took lessons from the year one difficulties.
Adam is now telling them about his shop assistant Rob who listed one of his cars for sale, Adam noticed the picture that he was using, telling him to wet down the ground, clean up the car and take a photo of it by itself.
Rob corrected the photo and then made the exact same mistake when he listed his own personal car for sale, he then said EBay wouldn’t let him take it down but Adam had already told him not to use it before he posted it, so who is really to blame and where can the lesson be learned.
Switching gears Akbar brings up his desire to get a Tesla, Adam tells him about his wife’s Tesla and suggests if he goes along with this cuckold thing… not for him, but the Kimmel Cuckold prank on Live TV during the Emmy’s. He would get him a discounted monthly lease on one but Akbar wants a free car for the prank.
Adam jokes about Akbar giving his daughter an eating disorder and he’s now telling Adam to fix the wall as he critiques the picture that Adam decided to go with.
Adam says there is a place where you must stop adjusting pictures of Lamborghinis you’re selling; Gina wraps the news with a drop of Akbar pronouncing his last name.
Life Lock
Women lose purses more than men lose wallets; Gina has no excuses for it Edition
Adam is now plugging some live dates and Adam, gives out the plugs for Akbar and they wrap up the show with BB having some fun with Akbar drops.
Solid Ep!