Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 08/27/2014 – Maria Menounos and Mark Malkoff
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Maria Menounos and Mark Malkoff
Recorded 08-26-2014 – Release Date 08-27-2014
Production Number #1398
Adam opens the show to a funny ‘True Blood’ finale intro, BB plays Alison’s ‘Boner Killer’ #TopDrop and Maria is sitting in with them from the top of the show, Adam is plugging an episode of her show about the new EDM’pire of people getting rich off techno music and sampling.
Maria is making her 5th appearance on the show. Maria misunderstand the “live show tonight” pre-taping plug from Adam, she remarks on them going to the improve tonight but nobody corrects her, cool.
Adam is teasing a filming experience anecdote for his show ‘Catch a Contractor’ which he once again refers to with the “to” in the title.
Maria is sharing the anecdotes of her discussions with the cast of ‘Game of Thrones’ and Maria is explaining how she got into the show.
BB has a lame Sharknado joke that Maria seems to appreciate.
Adam is now asking Maria about this EDM music and how the world gang rapes him for hating something, passion fruit being the other main example.
Adam demands to know what is up and Maria shares how some DJ’s are making 40 million per year and Adam is mocking the idea of mashups.
Alison is now weighing in asking Maria about the culture and she says she doesn’t know as she’s not a fan of the music.
“Why is a robot not jizzing on me” – Adam’s hypothetical daughter in the hypothetical EDM concert ruined future.
Adam is now back to techno music in inappropriate venues, Adam is quoting the waitress who said she would lose her voice from shouting over the EDM at her job.
Adam is now calling it ageism, hence the music being played to pretend everyone is down with the new dumb trends, Alison tells them about being called a MILF and Adam is on his feminist soapbox again and it’s glorious!
Ada is now asking why and when we decided that kids were in charge, Maria blames the late 80’s NKOTB phenomenon and Alison brings up mothers who try to dress like their daughters.
Maria is telling them about Paul Oakenfold being the first artist granted permission to play at the Great Wall of China, first western artist.
She also mentions interviewing him back in her ‘Channel 101’ days for news in classrooms.
Adam is further making points about music trends and bringing up mix cassettes and why they were great for long bus rides, Adam is now arguing in favor for techno in the club, he thinks it belongs there and has a place, wow, he’s being very cool and not “pops Carolla.”
Adam has a perfect logic rule for finding out what is or is not shitty music, Maria admits to playing it on occasion in her car and how she uses music for inspiration.
Adam is now further arguing his point and explaining the music he defaults to, classical and then jazz, then the songs he likes, he thinks EDM is part of an experience and needs to be in the right environment.
BB is now telling Adam that his example is bad, citing all of the remakes in film and television and BB is praising sampling and making new music out of old music, BB now concedes to Adam’s higher ultimate point, nice try BB!
Adam is back to Wiccan religion and has a killer one liner about not being sure about its tenants and how he shouldn’t be consulted on it as an expert.
Adam is now saying that EDM artists can’t play an instrument nor sing, that’s why he hates them, he could be pulling off their talentless scams.
“Anything I think I can do, I don’t like” – Adam
Adam is now giving an excellent anecdote about art and how he’s wired, BB agrees with his largest point of all!
Adam is now setting up his changeup in the filming schedule for “Catch a Contractor” and how it went from a “reveal day with a sting tacked onto it” to something at least slightly different I presume.
Adam is now going into detail about being caught in traffic when the contractor was en route, Adam was never told the order of filming and the contractor was on his way before Adam was there.
Adam had to repel over a neighbor’s yard and climb in and you can view the photo they all react to via the show page link above.
Adam is telling the nice man who helped him jump through the yard, Alison calls it the opening montage of an 80’s movie, and this is great.
Adam is doing a live read for Go To Meeting.
He works the Catch a contractor anecdote into it.
Adam is asking Maria how much acting she’s been doing lately, BB brings up her work in the first ‘Fantastic Four’ movie and he’s asking her if she wants to pursue it and she says she only gets offers from friends and how she doesn’t have time for auditions, she cites her single season of ‘One Tree Hill’ and cites her previous jobs and Alison asks her about morals clauses and contracts, clever girl.
Adam is asking Maria if she’s always had this motor for work or if it’s been speeding up lately, she’s now describing her eager beaver approach to life.
Adam is now back to the notion of a motor and how it is the driving force in all people who achieve in life, Maria lets her laugh rip in reaction to Sonny’s ring tone drop, wow…
Adam is saying that without a motor you are just farting in the wind, Maria is telling them about a Tony Robbins seminar and Adam is now asking what went on.
Maria tells them it was 6k people and Adam has a killer ‘Glee’ joke and Alison gets her to open up about it, Maria is now explaining how she became a millionaire by 22 and Adam is asking her how that happened.
Adam is now asking BB about his status at 22yrs old, BB is sharing his life at the time, and Alison is sharing her own fat Honda days of desperation in a band.
Adam is sharing his status at 23, not fat nor bald, hilarious “I still got pussy” brag in BB’s face.
Adam says that Tony should be at her (Maria’s) seminar.
“Bitch you walk on the coals” – Adam
Maria is now telling them about walking the coals, Adam is asking for the 3 big beats and she says its letting go of your story, she explains how culturally we’re taught to rub each others shoulders.
Maria has a great pair of hypothetical scenarios involving Alison, her reaction to the 2nd scenario is priceless.
Adam is sharing his advice to his employees and explaining how his wife thinks he’s a dick and doesn’t get his way of working and helping employees grow.
Adam is on a “where are the people in your life?” stopping you from getting yourself into trouble in all walks of life, he’s focusing on various work scenarios and the enablers who ask you about your boss screaming at you.
Maria is telling them about changing your state to change your mood, she’s back to the multiple breakthroughs she had over the 4 days, and some of them were 20hrs long, whoa!
Adam is now asking about her common law wife Kevin and if he made it to the conference, Adam is joking about him beating off to porn at home, she’s explaining how Kevin already had most of the advice down but could have benefited in some ways from attending.
Adam is now on a jag about learning from others and bettering your life through the tips and tricks those you meet who are successful at doing various tasks.
He cites his wife and leaving the front door unlocked, Adam is now asking Gary about the earthquake in Napa and they are reacting to it.
Adam is doing a live read for Life Lock
Alison chimes in for her part and kills it.
They’re now playing a clip of Adam from 2011 with Harland Williams from 2011 that I found and someone else I think took credit for, it happens…
There are now playing the clip from ACS #646 from 2011.
Adam is now commenting on his ability to predict things and see future problems and how nobody listens to him.
Adam is back to his “everyone should pay me to walk through their house and tell them what to do” story from the first time he told that to Lynette.
Adam is now sharing how someone would have died if earthquakes ever came in the day time at not at 3am on a Tuesday.
Maria is commenting on the human instinct to wait until disaster strikes before intervening, Adam is like the little boy who cried barrel.
Adam is now doing a live read for Kingsford
Adam is sharing some “jokes he wrote” are available on the website for Kingsford.
They’re now wrapping with Maria and heading to break.
They’re back from break
They play some Oswaldo name the movie to intro segment two and Adam demands his ‘Iron Man’ description.
Mark is now making his ACS debut and Adam is asking him about the Emmy wins for the shows he’s worked on, Adam brings up how he doesn’t go to the Emmy’s and views them as a fan instead of being alongside his peers and friends.
Adam is now explaining how the Man Show was written on the same level as something like ‘Mr. Show’ and holds up 10 best sketches for 10 best sketches, he’s right.
Mark is praising the “End women’s suffrage” farmer’s market in Hollywood prank, they’re now playing a clip of it.
“What part of Vietnam are you from? Do you know a guy named Jeff?” – Adam’s best line in the whole segment.
“What are you from Cameroon!?” – Adam’s 2nd best line.
Adam is talking about the 95 keys he’s been presented from mayors all across the United States, he says that one mayor only had a drawer, not even an office.
Alison is asking about the keys and how they work, how big they are.
Adam is doing a Draft Kings live read
1st Story Her top story is a ‘Germany Or Florida’ and Adam brings up Seth Meyers and his email out of the blue about the bit Adam now owns the trademark to (a fan secured it for him).
Mark has a nice “you are nice!” bit of reassurance for his reply to Seth and Alison wants to know the logic on doing bits and stopping doing them, Adam says he doesn’t know how anything works and says that buying jokes and Chris Rock having a team of writers who he gets his jokes from.
Alison now sets up the landlord sex swing GorF.
Adam says that too a much action on the sex swing is up there with killed a man with your bare hands in terms of positive/negative scenario.
Adam is now explaining a sex swing to Alison and calling for ‘The Man Show’ at the dildo factory he toured.
Adam has a killer “I’m going to kill more runaways” renters rights reasoning for his answer, everyone weighs in.
Alison’s reactions to the Dildo factory tour result in the “Ben Wa Balls” anecdote, nicely told!
2nd Story Is on some of the Emmy Awards given for ‘Breaking Bad’ and Adam weighs in with final seasons that often clean up at the awards shows.
Alison is now telling Adam how he needs to watch the show, he’s almost caving and they’re all praising Cranston, Mark wants to know if Adam saw him on Broadway, they missed each other like ships in the night.
Adam is sharing his “that was awesome, let’s do it one more time, let’s just do it one more time” form of bullshit that truly cracked Bryan up in between takes, Adam explains he wrote those jokes and Bryan is so strong he could deliver them like they were his.
Adam is sharing how you need to know when to move on while making someone else’s show, not while making your own independent movie and shares his relatively green partner Skip’s attention to meaningless detail about the filming for each day, like a kid asking the teacher for homework.
3rd Story Is an update on the diverted flight caused by ‘The Knee Defender’ aftermarket product, Alison is sharing her experience with this device and she’s sharing the details of what happened on the diverted plane.
Adam is now back to the idea of having to divert the plane, he’s bringing up the cockpit door retrofits, why do we have to land when people are having fits.
Adam wants to know why we have to divert all the time, both jack offs need to sit down and shut up.
Adam and BB are riffing about them almost wanting to divert like it’s a mandate, BB brings up super elaborate an unnecessary home remodeling.
Alison brings up the open sewer line on an episode of “Catch a Contractor” and Adam is now explaining the p-traps and mocks the health concern, he doesn’t care about black mold or any of that bullshit.
Adam is now sharing that scotch tape over the hole is a simple fix and he’s now connecting this to the gum spit on the black top in hot summers, Alison says things that are so easily preventable.
BB tries to change the topic back to Mark, Alison successfully does so and Mark shares how he accomplished his month of non-stop flying and his badge that allowed him access to the tarmac on AirTran, he’s sharing how he learned some toilet paper tricks and fun facts while on this adventure.
Mark references his Johnny Carson podcast, which is apparently unknowingly inspired by my show the first recap podcast of another man’s career.
Alison is now asking Mark about his email habits and how his 5 emails over 5 months wore someone down.
Adam is doing a live read for World of Tanks.
Adam mocks Mario and Donkey Kong, he praises blowing up Nazis in gaming.
4th Story is on an apology by the man who created the first pop up ad, explaining its original intent.
Adam is now defending the need for advertisements, the only reason content exists is to sell shit to recoup, Adam praises cars with 100k mile servicing and Alison asks about that concept.
Adam explains major servicing vs. oil changes at 10k miles because of the use of full synthetic oil and he tells her that she won’t need major work on her car until 100k miles.
Adam is asking BB about why he doesn’t care about the Emmy’s and he explains how he doesn’t watch good TV and why, Alison explains they were all working on this show while it was taping.
They’re now playing some clips of Jimmy Kimmel from the award show, he’s killing it, and this is gold!
Alison is now wrapping up the news.
Adam is doing a live read for Zip Recruiter.com
Adam gives out the plugs and wraps up the show.