26 Aug Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 08/26/2014 – Jo Koy
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Jo Koy
Recorded 08-25-2014 – Release Date 08-26-2014
Production Number #1397
Adam opens the shows to a funny update about the Napa earthquake not effecting the Mangria supplies, Adam is plugging a show for DAG.
BB plays a #TopDrop requested by Dan from yesterday’s episode, Adam shares he left him a note and jokes about destroying it in hilarious ways because Dan didn’t know of the racer with the similar name.
Adam is welcoming Jo to the show and complimenting his tan and riffing about the polar opposites of how a tan makes you look vs. the damage the sun does to your skin, a balance between enjoying praise and not wanting to die, Adam is now arguing for a Gray Race and BB takes it to the Third Reich.
Adam is giving out the plug for Jo’s website and Jo brings up the “Joy” controversy, Adam is bringing up the time he met Jennifer Love Hewitt and she told him to call her Love, while guesting on MTV Loveline.
Adam is telling the gang about his Emmy dinner with his agent and all of his more successful clients*
Adam has an anecdote about Babydoll ordering set menu in advance of the dinner, finally wising up and Adam describes a cameo from Jason Sudeikis who left on a high note.
*Except Cousin Sal
Adam is telling them about the golden cow head that Cousin Sal tried to buy off the wall to run up James Baby Doll Dixon’s credit card.
Adam is now arguing that the pre-set menu is never all it’s cracked up to be, half the shit you don’t like and BB is now arguing for food safaris and adventure.
Alison, Jo and Adam are all in agreement and BB brings up pink Himalayan salt and getting lectures from chefs. Alison brings up Carson Daley formerly dating Jennifer Love Hewitt and Adam has a killer “titty fucking” run.
Alison gets Adam to elaborate where he was sitting and give more details, he recounts them with some conversation between him and Bill Simmons, Adam praises the ladies in this group and how they all get along together which isn’t always the case when a. bunch of husband’s hang out with wives.
Adam is doing the Reverie Bed live read
Heavy on the bed vibrating riff, he’s telling them about his “Napscot” the mascot for sleeping he’s found in his dog Molly who also loves the vibrating bed, so much so that “all kinds of fluids are pouring out of her” and he wraps up the read explaining the zero g position.
Hooray For Baldywood
BB saw the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot, Jo also saw the movie and BB is breaking down the cast.
Jo is sharing his reaction to the movie and his son’s enthusiasm, BB hated it and Adam is mocking the “tubular” comedy from the ‘Valley Girl’ era.
BB proclaims this Megan Fox’s worst movie and now they’re listing of Whoopi Goldberg’s worst shitty movies, Adam is now bringing up movies where they have footage of things that never happen in the movie, Adam cites ‘Burglar’ and Gary gets on mic to share how the recent ‘Rise of the Planet Of the Apes’ had a blown up bridge on the poster that wasn’t in the movie.
BB is bringing up the bad guy stunt casting of William Fichtner and Alison spots Bobcat Goldthwait on the poster of ‘Burglar’ and Adam is now riffing about how insane the poster is showing her riding a cop bike up a golden gate bridge cable.
BB spots this poster as a lookalike to the ‘A View to a Kill’ poster from around the same era.
Adam is bringing up how he thinks you must pay landmark fees to showcase certain landmark in films.
BB is now recommending ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ and Adam says that he saw the movie because “he’s a friend to Bobcat” and now Jo is proclaiming himself a bad jerking off guy and says he’s ruined his laptop with jizz.
Adam jokes about him needing a flap bar to open it, Alison is now bringing up how he should have a dedicated porn laptop and Jo is sharing an anecdote of traveling with an iPad freshly after pounding on out, Alison has two killer one liners in reply to Jo.
Jo is now saying that Alison is making him feel like a creep and brings up hotel TV remote controls.
“So if you’ve ever handled a remote in a hotel you’ve handled a thousand salesmen’s jizz” – Adam
Adam is bringing up the porn he looked up on a laptop and how some guys from architectural digest were doing a photo shoot at his house and then brought up Adam’s browser history and Adam was tempted to ripping the computer out of his hands.
Adam is talking about porn anxiety in this digital age, all the guys agree they experience it and Jo shares his policy on laptop privacy and how he maintains respect for his friends by not witnessing the porn they’re into.
Adam is further breaking down the scene, BB reveals he was hesitant to let his fiancé and now wife Christy use his old laptop for this very reason, BB is now sharing an anecdote of an ex-girlfriend’s dad’s search history he witnessed.
Adam is bringing up the dummy diary advice he gave for young girls to keep them from busting themselves for their questionable teenage activities.
“Besides ladling jizz…” – Adam on his two laptops for every man idea.
Adam is bringing up the ‘Rest Assured’ bit from ‘The Man Show’ and now they’re watching it and we’re getting live reactions.
Adam tells them about how he wrote this bit, how the goats were owned by Bean from the KROQ flagship morning show and are probably dead now, he points out his favorite joke too.
Adam is doing a live read for Legal Zoom
Jo wants to know what’s going on with the patent troll situation and Adam is explaining he can’t share the details about what happened but he is bothered by the connotation that he somehow settled.
Adam says “we made it safe to do a podcast” and BB has him stop talking about it and Adam is begging for help to get back to zero, explain there is no extra money to give to the EFF and Adam is trying to explain where to contribute to help him break even.
Made Up Movie
1st Movie from Shelby, she thought of ‘Racing Minds’ and Adam is now riffing a fake “true story” of an all-black pit crew in the 1960’s working the race track.
Jo is now riffing some lines as one of the characters in the movie, Adam brings up how the football program collapsed and Jo mixes up the plot, great reaction form Alison as Jo realizes his mistake.
Adam is killing this made up movie, Jo ruins it with a Cadillac winning NASCAR and Alison sides with, Adam reports that Taye Diggs has dropped out and now is asking for some punch up guys to fix the script that Jo has ruined.
2nd Movie from Frank, he says hello to everyone including “Joy” or Joy Luck as Adam calls him now and he pitches “High Heat” and BB is taking the reins and riffs a pitcher who discovers pot is a performance enhancing drug and Adam adds the World Series in China addition to the plot.
This is pretty solid.
Adam is bringing up ‘Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins’ and Joel Grey as an elderly Asian man, he brings Mike August’s resemblance to both Fred Ward and K.D. Lang.
3rd Movie Cormack, he’s sharing an anecdote of his grandma catching him beating off to ‘Basic Instinct’ and Jo mixes up that movie with ‘Fatal Attraction’ and Adam is now mocking Cormack’s logic and he’s hard to listen to like sitting next to a microwave.
Adam is bringing up how he will use snowshoes to make tons of noise while walking down the hall to alert a 13 year old Sonny.
Cormack picks “The Golden Pillow” and now Alison is riffing a Sci-Fi movie and Adam is trying to get the casting of “the keeper of the sleep” and Alison picks Matthew McConaughey.
BB and Jo are now in the mix and Adam is trying to desern the time and setting, he says it feels more like a ‘Willow’ style fantasy movie, Alison places it in present time in any town USA.
Jo is once again fucking things up and it’s hilarious, Adam’s sarcastic multiple levels of intonation in his replies make it even funnier.
Adam folds up on this one.
4th Movie Jason picks ‘Island Breeze’ and BB mocks Jo instantly, Jo is taking the reins and riffing an island community that needs a tourist season but can’t beat out the tsunami weather.
Adam is now adding tsunami to “Richman/Poorman” and describes a conversation with Bill Simmons about tsunami plans for high-end real estate in Malibu.
Adam wraps this one up and blames Jo for nothing matching Adam’s 1st entry, Jo is continuing to argue for the car from the earlier movie.
Adam is doing a live read for Draft Kings
They’re heading to break.
They’re back from break.
Adam is responding to the intro about “What Not to Watch” sharing an anecdote about speaking with Pete Berg on the day he was going on a battleship to research his film adaptation of the board game.
Gary is on mic explaining how they paid homage to the board game in the film version of ‘Battleship’ and Jo is now riffing a scene with Adam in response to what Gary said.
This is pretty great.
Adam is responding to Ty Burrell winning an Emmy and now Alison is asking Jo about how his fridge is setup and he has a killer reply.
Adam and BB are busting Alison’s balls and Jo is now arguing for Alison and his inferior late 90’s style, Adam is joking about freezer related stories in the news.
Alison’s News
Alison brings up the tweets she received from people defending her model of fridge and freezer.
1st Story is on the American Society of Pediatrics asking for the school districts to start all middle school at 8:30am or later.
Adam is on one hand begging for them to have been offering this during his youth and also sharing how important operating on a lack of sleep is important to successful career.
Adam is now working this into adults who can’t rally and how a lack of sleep is going to be painful, Alison brings up a workout schedule and what that even to your sleep schedule.
Adam is now responding to Alison’s stats and he wants to know why people are spending half of their lives unconscious dreaming of winning the super bowl or this Rosie O’Donnell beach nightmare Adam just described.
Adam is now giving examples of his mind numbing schedule and how it’s nonstop work and people needing shit from him.
Alison asks Adam about the night before and he’s now waxing poetic on the Sword of Damocles of an early wake up, Adam has a great if humans were cell phones and acted this way analogy.
Adam is telling them about watching ‘Perfect Strangers’ reruns back to back after taping ‘Dawson’s creek’ and ‘Loveline’ in the same day.
Adam is talking about his quick turnarounds and how his 3am broadcasts to the east coast for ‘The Howard Stern Show’ and how his brain would turn to mush.
Adam says it’s the sober version of 4 days of crank in a row, Adam is now giving some more Emmy updates, Adam says he hasn’t signed off on Louis C.K. as the arbiter of all things comedy, he’s complimenting the man’s show and commenting on the hipster exaltation of the man.
Adam is basically referencing the HBO ‘What’s Funny’ special with him and other comedians.
Adam is now polling the cast about their takes on ‘Louie’ and Adam is comparing it to the best seasons of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ to see how it stand up against it.
Alison agrees with Adam about ‘Louie’ and the deep pathos and non-comedic plotlines throughout its run, she then nominate Todd Barry as the other possible new arbiter of comedy, I’d say Adam over all of them but he would never entertain such a title and immediately dismiss it.
2nd Story Is on Olivia Wilde using breast milk for her “Ice Bucket Challenge” and they play the video of her dousing herself with breast milk, much like the substance dousing Jo Koy’s laptop.
Adam is now recalling the time he did ‘Real Time with Bill Maher’ the only time he has done the show, Adam was a featured guest and compliments how smart she came off, Adam bought into her and her persona and calls her a substantial person.
Adam is now responding to how he thinks Prince won’t respond to this challenge, it’s not friendly to his style and Alison brings a person who did the challenge to their dog.
Adam is doing a Blue Apron live read.
Adam is bragging about his Nanny cooking all of these dishes and how awesome they come out, looking just like the image included.
BB is now in the mix and they’re doing a truly great an enthusiastic read.
Adam is now riffing about “P. Frost” as they take it back to the fridge debate and the mockery of Alison for being poorer than them, Jo is in the mix and doing some voices.
Adam reads another update and is giving his take on Jim Parsons and his Emmy win, Adam is now commenting on people who essentially play themselves and Jo calls Adam out for doing that very thing.
3rd Story Is on a dancer in the live show rehearsals for Nicki Minaj who was bit by a Boa constrictor named Rocky, a 13 year vet of the business.
Adam is now riffing a snake bite challenge over ice buckets, he wants celebrities attacked by snakes.
Adam wants to know why snakes are used in seductive dances and how men don’t think of the snake licking their balls, hilarious reactions from Alison.
Adam is now blaming Nastassja Kinski for the snake wear trend, Jo doesn’t know her and Adam is calling for the poster of her with the snake, Adam also cites the Bible and BB says that’s the actually answer.
Adam is commenting on his lack of awareness of Nicky Minaj and how he doesn’t know her work.
Adam is now commenting on the poster of Nastassja Kinski and Alison is surprised it’s working for the guys, Adam is now asking if Nicky Minaj is hot or not and predicts fucking her would be like something between a piñata and a rodeo clown.
Adam and Jo are now theorizing on your cock must have a plan for Nicki Minaj, Cameron Diaz doesn’t require such a plan, Adam is telling Alison what the plan entails.
Avoid positions, don’t get over your cock skis, Alison is now chiming in with some funny one liners.
Adam is sharing his dream cock and Alison has a funny smaller hands hypothetical and Adam is now riffing a Jim Parsons and Nicky Minaj public fling just to freak everyone out.
Adam is riffing about Lil’ Wayne also on his ‘no fly list’ sexually and Alison wraps the news through her giggles.
Adam is doing a live read for World of Tanks.
Adam is giving out the plugs and wrapping up the show.