23 Aug Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 08/19/2015 – Alonzo Bodden, Live from Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Alonzo Bodden, Live from Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank
Recorded 08-18-2015 – Release Date 08-19-2015
Production Number #1641
Adam has a prerecorded intro with some plugs and live read.
Adam talks about having a nice cry with the kids over the late Molly Girl.
Adam is opening the show live from Flappers with Alonzo making his 12th appearance on the show, you can hear his first appearance on ACS #14 and the rest via the official archive linked on the show page.
Adam has some rough mic issues, he has an inside ‘Geechy Guy’ reference, Alonzo is telling them about his experience at The Montreal Comedy Festival.
Adam has a funny Moroccan busboy line after making a Kelly Osbourne ‘esque comment in jest.
Alonzo is telling them about the various other comics, Adam is mocking the douchebag move of someone learning a few lines in German and then singing it, using Eddie Vedder as an example.
Adam asks if he’s cutting Alonzo off, Alonzo is riffing about speaking foreign languages.
Adam likes using a little bit of language back and forth with other people, both using a super shitty version of each other’s tongue.
Adam is saying it was the first time he’s ever called a Carolla Family Meeting to break the sad news to the kids regarding Molly.
Adam is explaining how he learned of the meetings from watching ‘The Brady Bunch’ and talks about trying to pull a dad move but being worried you might be called out by the kids or your wife.
Adam explains how Lynette used ‘The Rainbow Bridge’ (from Thor mythology?) to help the kids deal with the loss, Adam is now talking about how seeing his son lose it made it him start to cry and shares a new theory about men seeing other men cry and that being more effective in making them cry in reaction, possibly because it doesn’t happen as commonly.
Alonzo disagrees, he says he would mock BB if he was crying and Adam calls him a big black troll living under the rainbow bridge, hilarious.
Adam is now bringing up ‘Brian’s Song’ and Brian Piccolo, hilarious closing line.
Adam is back to the sad meeting and how Natalia wanted to cry but couldn’t then lost it like a banshee, his daughter freak out about the deception and his son was just sad about the loss.
Adam is talking about her reaction and how typical it was, he says she was like lawyering up, Adam told her they don’t have to tell them anything.
Adam says today it was like Molly was never born, Adam talks about how the ashes and paw print are probably not even his dogs.
Adam is talking about the high grade diabetic kibble he just bought for his dog, Adam is talking about her two beds and jokes about what dogs do with beds being like what we do with hats.
Adam says that you must adjust a hat someone else puts on you much like a dog does another lap before lying down.
Adam telling dogs to knock of the instinct related behaviors and BB asks when they’re getting a new dog, Adam jokes about telling the nanny she’s going to have to change her diet.
Adam says when a dog dies it’s pure, he describes how she was pure love and always happy and he makes a point about the greater complication of people dying and the baggage between humans and families.
Alonzo has a point about country dogs never being put down and Adam brings up Nate Adams and how his brother shot their dogs when they would get sick and how that seems to people from Los Angeles.
Adam is now back to Nate and describes the knapsack full of kittens left in the river, whoa
Adam is talking about old world Jews and their love for bizarre and seemingly inedible foodstuffs, Adam is talking about his grandfather discovering Wienerschnitzel, Adam says we’re so lazy now we just abbreviate names and won’t finish titles.
Adam is now playing a Wienerschnitzel commercial, hilarious Jared Fogle line and mockery for the “spread some wiener love” ad campaign.
Adam saw another commercial and thinks it must just be a California thing, he’s describing the things that bump him regarding barb wire on freeway signs and depressing bumper stickers.
Adam and Alonzo riff about the end human trafficking ones, hilarious riff as Adam plays the kidnapper returning to the docks to cancel their international human trafficking operations based on a bumper sticker he saw on the way there.
Adam is mocking the “First Five” campaign about the importance of your child’s earliest years of life, Adam has some funny lines and Alonzo has a nice follow up.
Adam is joking about the value of his white kids when it comes to human trafficking, Adam says his daughter brought up the tooth fairy and Easter bunny being fake.
Adam is now saying tooth fairies should be done for adults, he talks about his botched root canal and the pain of trying to pull the crown off.
Adam jokes about taking him behind a shed to shoot him, hilarious line mocking ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ and now Adam argues that asking him to stop human trafficking is a pretty tall order for the average citizen.
Adam mocks the lack of shame and blame when it comes to leaving infants at fire stations.
Adam is now riffing about vacuum tubes, hilarious angle on the invention of them vs. simply walking things in and out of the building.
Alonzo says this must have been the idea of an engineer and explains why.
Adam is now riffing about how he would fart in the tubes, “open with teeth urgent!” would be the label.
Adam says the only way the tubes makes sense is if they went into the vault.
Adam is now talking about the “no spitting on the floor” rule at a boxing gym he used to frequent.
Adam is now describing the way the guys would share water bottles and it was the era way before Purell, he references his oral reminders of said era (happies).
Gina’s News
1st Story is on a man who was dining with his service snake, Adam talks about the constant shedding he will not miss from his dog.
Adam has a funny riff about fat people shedding skin.
Alonzo is talking about the weird person walking with a snake around their neck, Adam has a funny unicorn and abalone examples for service animals, hilarious Shelly line.
Adam is joking about a snake dry humping your leg, Adam jokes about the reptile killing the owner eventually.
Adam talks about the snake you hand fed crickets to for 20yrs will suffocate and kill you for no reason because it’s a reptile, hilarious riffing about seeing other snakes.
Adam is talking about reptiles never giving you the satisfaction of watching them eat something, Adam is talking about snakes not eating mice.
“My pet snake ate my service dog, he’s grandfathered in” – Adam
2nd Story is on the first two female Army Rangers, Adam is talking about how he would jack off to death if forced to stay away for as long as they made it.
Hilarious jacking off with a drill instructor yelling at you.
Adam is commenting on the two women who aren’t as Alonzo puts it “as hot as the women who play them in the movie” and has a killer Natalie Imbruglia reference.
Adam is talking about these two 6 ½’s and how her huge achievement wouldn’t mean and the hotter 19yr old hostess from Chili’s is somehow more desirable, making a point about the sad nature of male attraction and wiring.
Adam is now dreaming of an America with the bar he just described with both women in attendance, Adam is commenting on how the women accomplishing the same standards as the men, so there is no Asterisk and no affirmative action, they’re just as good as their peers and better than those they surpassed who didn’t make the cut, impressive.
Alonzo is joking about grading Adam’s racism on a curve, his racism actually has affirmative action from Alonzo, very funny angle.
3rd Story is an update on Emile Hirsch and his “assault” on a Paramount Executive, Gina has the details of his sentencing.
Adam is now asking for the details about what he did, they’re riffing and Alonzo asks what his career prospects look like from here.
Adam says the defense is the booze and the altitude combination, he talks about Jimmy Kimmel yakking in an elevator when they were in Denver.
Alonzo talks about being in the movie ‘The Girl Next Door’ and jokes about what would have happened if Emile put him in a headlock.
Adam says he thinks women can fight indefinitely in front of a crowd, Adam asks if anyone would jump in and Alonzo brings up Oprah.
Adam is now asking Alonzo what he thinks hypothetically Oprah would pay to eat whatever she wants for the rest of her life while staying thin.
Adam is killing it and Alonzo keeps bringing up the meetings for all black people he attends, solid.
Adam is explaining the devil needs it to hurt more, hilarious Satan eating gravy over red velvet cake while she is offering up amounts.
Adam is now asking about the crescent shaped sofa show he did ‘Outnumbered’ and the who is having less sex hypothetical question about the Clintons vs. Oprah and Steadman.
Adam talks about the “what the fuck” look of repulsion he hasn’t experienced since his single days.
4th Story is on a guy putting an ear on his arm, Adam is telling them to learn the cup stacking trick and now explains that most people have 0 talent but anyone can learn cup stacking.
Adam is now doing a funny back and forth improv with Alonzo, solid.
Gina wraps the news.
Adam is doing a Live Read for Mazda
Adam has some pro tips for turn one at Laguna Seca, he’s giving some very in depth descriptions with a funny elbow closer.
Adam gives out the plugs and wraps up the show.