Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 08/14/2013 – Jim Norton

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Jim Norton

Recorded 08-12-2013 – Release Date 08-14-2013

Production Number #1142

Show Page

Adam is opening the show with Jim Norton in studio for his 4th appearance on the podcast, Adam is explaining why he’s doing these intimate 1 on 1 shows instead of a best of week.

You can contribute to Road Hard for 5 more days, so get in while you can still get listed in the credits for eternity.

Adam is joking about the hours one keeps in comedy being akin to a serial killer and morning radio being similar to a GM factory job.


Adam is on his idea about scotch and brisket not being as enticing at 5:45am, Jim is telling Adam about his average hours, he’s saying he’s up by 5:35 and in a cab by 5:55 with his walk in right as the opening music plays.

This is not too dissimilar to Adam’s KLSX arrival policy, Adam is bringing up how the average job allows a little slack for punctuality vs. a morning radio show and its “weird pressure” for you to show up.

Jim is bringing up his role on the show, Adam is citing how people only remember batting average and why it can lead to you being perceived as more talented.


Jim is being super honest and explaining why his 3rd chair position on Opie and Anthony best suits him.

Adam is saying it’s the same reason he enjoys being a guest more than a host.

Adam is bringing up meeting Jim’s parents in Atlantic City while hanging out in Jay Leno’s dressing room, Adam flubs Jay Leno and mocks himself, good stuff.


Adam is bringing up how insanely different his two kids are and hinting at how maybe Jim’s parents aren’t to blame for his proclivities.

Adam is using his buddy Ray and now asking who anyone knows that fundamentally changed from their core, Jim is calling himself the same guy he was in 1985.

Adam is asking Jim what “wounds” him the easiest and he’s being super honest and describing how “confirming what he already knows” is the most painful.


Jim is telling Adam he’s been single for about two years while citing his ex who he’s now best friends with and may end up with in the future.

Adam is asking who isn’t going to get into fights, Jim agrees and Adam has a nice Sean Penn point coupled with another scenario to describe declining testosterone and how it changes men.

Adam is saying that there was no way anyone was going to get 20 years with a 25yr old Adam Carolla, he’s asking Jim if he’ll ever be ready to settle down.


Adam is citing the lifestyle of comedians he knows who are 40 without kids and spend their free time hanging out and getting high, Adam is calling it “Lord of the Flies” and the dream of people in high school.

Adam and Jim are now talking about the extended adolescence that seems to be more prevalent among comedians, Adam is connecting it to selfishness as well.

Jim is citing all the funny and cool people that comedy allows you to spend time with and how it almost encourages you to stay stagnant in that zone.


Adam is now citing all the male comedians who waited till they were much older to have children, Adam is asking if you took all the comedians and tallied up their total kids what the outcome would be.

Jim is bringing up Woody Allen and Adam has a killer one liner, Jim tops it with a Mackenzie Philips comment that Adam is now running with.

Adam is recreating the moment on Oprah where Mackenzie explained “Why Now?” Adam is bringing up his trip to Disneyland and their choice of set list.


Adam is bringing up the “He Can Move!” message society sends and accepts, he’s telling Jim if he has a son to teach his to move, it will change his life.

Adam is citing Michael Jackson and his moonwalk to explain how it need only be 4 steps coupled with an “I’m done showing off” fake out.

Jim agrees and they’re breaking it down, Adam is saying that women are more hardwired in this department unlike men, how dancing can overcome many other obstacles for women becoming attracted to a man.


Adam is joking about getting his son a ferret instead, and now they’re riffing about people who carry wildlife on them to get people pay them attention and give them human interaction.

Adam is now joking about the animal guy doubling down with rollerblades, Jim and Adam are citing personal experience and Adam is bringing up the use of the word “sensual”.

Jim is saying he has used it as a code word when requesting an adult massage, Adam is citing his acquaintances he knows who seek them out while on the road and how he could never go for it.


Adam seems to mainly be citing technique and has an issue with anyone trying to use their hand on him, Jim is now getting poetic describing his experience getting a full release massage.

Adam just invented a custom bracelet for massage clients to let the masseuse know they’re into hand jobs, Jim is telling Adam he likes the mystery and not knowing.

Adam wants to know if he’s famous among masseuses for being a comedian, Jim is mixed on the feeling of someone knowing him from the comedy world depending on what he did with the other person.


Jim drops the transsexual bomb and Adam threatens to get to that in a second, Adam using Snoop’s love of weed to make a point, he’s citing a buddy who asked him about his tipping practice.

Adam is explaining why it’s better for word to get out that you’re a bad tipper in lieu of the opposite, he’s using Frank Sinatra’s legacy of tipping to contrast it.

Adam likes Jim’s legacy of hand jobbery and Jim is now explaining how it can go wrong with people assuming he’ll mention them on the air or in his act.


Adam is now asking Jim about the transsexual experience, Jim is explaining how it’s all part of his range.

Adam is now asking Jim about it, Jim is telling him about “Switches” the apparent term in the weird sex realm.

Jim is now telling Adam about his recent travels down the road of cuckold porn and how it’s captured his imagination, he’s explaining it to Adam, but he’s not aware of Ruby the 2008 “Who the F Sells This S” Caller who was selling the porn and had a lengthy series of descriptors, fully introducing Adam to the concept.


Jim is telling Adam about his love of cuckold porn and how you can tell it’s truly an amateur production via popular music or Bob Costas vocal cues, Adam came up with “A Cuckold Tell” for viewers to instantly spot if they’re watching producer or amateur shit.

Jim is explaining why he’s turned on by the taboo of what’s in the cuckold videos, Adam’s reaction is priceless and now Jim is explaining why he likes to hear about his partners exes and be humiliated in the bedroom.

Adam wants to know if there is part of Jim that wants all of this in way to remove him from the intimacy of the relationship, Adam seems to be dead on and even Jim agrees it could play some role, intimacy at an arms distance.


Jim is explaining how he often will feel loving towards a prostitute and he’s declaring himself too far gone to be involved in an average sexual relationship.

Adam is asking Jim if he classifies his sexuality as bisexual and Jim is explaining the complex nature of his addiction and how it relates to his past substance abuse.

Jim is telling Adam about his urine fetish and Jim is explaining that the fact a woman didn’t ask before using his mouth as a toilet is what turns him on.


Adam is now riffing as Jim but if he took the opposite tact he took, Jim calls it brilliant and hilarious, this is Ace Awards 2013 material “Detached Retina of the Beholder” – This is gold!

Adam is complimenting Jim for his honesty and telling him why he’s such a breath of fresh air.

Adam is now asking Jim about his new Epix 1hr comedy special, he’s telling Adam why he couldn’t do a premier for the special due to his intense self-hatred.


1st Caller Scott, He’s telling Adam he employs his “batting average” technique with his friends in conversation, Adam is saying everyone just needs to pretend their Ryan Gosling in a movie, hilarious mocking of “Drive” once again.

Scott is asking Adam about his applied braking technique he employs while in traffic, Adam is explaining his efficiency obsession and how he often daydreams of urinals with water wheels to put kilowatts back on the meter.

Adam is going in depth on how it has nothing to do with finance, Jim wants to know if it’s a weird hoarding behavior, he’s citing his manager and his inability to use a car horn in comparison.


Adam is now breaking down how he views everything as units of energy and he’s describing the assembly line of labor he sees when he looks at prepared food.

Adam is explaining how car design triggers his love of efficiency, he’s describing to shave tenths of seconds off of lap times, Jim is mistaking that part for OCD when it’s more just how racing works.

Adam is citing his behavior around the house and how he always tried to get multiple things done at once, like turning off lights other have left on.


Jim is asking Adam to take a break for a while and see what happens, Adam has a killer one liner in reply, gold!


2nd Caller Steve, He’s excited for Road Hard and now Adam is telling Jim about the movie and funding campaign.

Steve is a daily listener and wants to know about Adam sharing possible hypocrisy by mentioning visiting the beach once and whale watching as a youth, which was a school field trip accessible by geography, Adam’s parents had nothing to do with it Steve!

Adam is explaining how things actually were despite Steve trying to steal Adam’s wind for shitty parents, Adam is talking about his occasional trips to the beach with Vince and how it doesn’t undermine anything he’s shared about his parents in the past.


Adam is citing his mom’s clinical depression in almost graphic detail, echoing my own Chris and her life.

Adam is now saying that many people have had it worse than him and he’ll never deny that, Steve is accepting Adams answer and now asking about Jim’s percentage of recognition with prostitutes.


3rd Caller Chris, he missed Adam’s last and show and is going to try to make the Adam and Drew reunion tour.

Adam and Jim are now mocking his trying, he’s now confirming he will be making it to visit with Adam at the show and the race.

Chris is into motorcycles and he’s telling Adam about his track bike and why he loves it because of its design.


“There’s nothing that’s better than a Fucking Sword” – Adam on design

Adam is now connecting that to the F-16, hilarious “it also carries letters” closer and now Jim is recommending Chess to Adam.

Adam is explaining why he never learned the game nor anything else smart people might be into.


Chris is a black male from the east coast and agrees with everything Adam has ever said about the state of black families in America.

Chris wants to know if Adam can foresee the divorce rate influencing other communities to end up with the same problems in the same numbers.

Adam is explaining his “exercise and diet” argument that goes hand in hand with his “intact families, focus on education” advice, perfect logic!


Jim is explaining why both of those pieces of advice trigger such extreme reactions form people because of the inherent personal work implied, Adam is adding to that and bringing up the sales stats of diet books and what that means about people’s resistance to hard work and discipline.

Adam is now riffing on the idea of a book being the cure all solution and he’s making a lot of sense describing how people trick themselves into avoiding the real solution.

Adam is now explaining that the government doesn’t really do anything that well and the more you try to bring them into your daily life, the worse things will be.


Jim agrees and is citing how the government in NYC couldn’t even handle OTB gambling and had to fold on that.

Jim is using perfect logic talking about answers and he’s explaining what kinds of answers people are aiming for and what it says about their psychology, whoa.

Adam is thanking Chris and now praising himself for his all-time record of not using “man” during his whole conversation with Chris.


Adam is explaining how he told Drew that “Fella” excuses many racial slurs, Jim seems to get the humor and they’re agreeing.

Adam is giving some plugs and explaining how if he doesn’t sell out the Wilbur Theater this year he’s going to blame Dr. Drew.

Adam is now wrapping the show.