Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 08/12/2014 – Amy Alkon

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Amy Alkon

Recorded 07-20-2014 – Release Date 08-12-2014

Production Number #1374

Show Page

Adam is opening the show to a clever intro courtesy of Lynch and Dawson, Adam is explaining the vacation shorter schedule at the top of Episode 2 from the 20th.

BB plays Alison’s guitar shredding drop as today’s #TopDrop and Adam is giving out the plugs for his book signing and now Alison is explaining she was listening to “Rush“ earlier and praises her own mouth guitar noises after a killer one liner.

Adam is now comparing and contrasting Alison’s drop against her drop, pretending that they don’t sound the same, great improv bit.


BB talks about judging the world air guitar championships at The Viper Room after Adam asks what band is the best air guitar band, Adam brings up his “towel blotting the face” mime work for his air guitar, Adam is bringing up air drumming and how Rush might be the best for that.

Adam is asking BB about the judging process and how it worked, he mocks the panel of judges and BB is now listing off the people on stage with him.

Adam is doing a legal zoom live read and jokes with Dawson for pronouncing enter instead of “Henter” and Dawson is nicely in the mix.


Just Me or Everyone?

The hit segment from Alison Rosen’s show now finally makes its ACS debut, does she get a % if it becomes a new ACS institution? I predict the next lawsuit right now…

Alison explains the origin of the game and her unfounded fear of her apartment burning down.


1st JMOE Commercials with talking foods, like M&M’s and now they’re all weighing in and Adam is bringing up Mexican butcher shops and the characters they make out of the animals they are going to slaughter.

Adam brings up the ling mucus and Alison brings up Adam’s long hated “toe noids” from the foot fungus commercial and they’re all commenting on the old Parkay commercials, Adam is mocking the Carvel “Fudgie the Whale” ads.

Adam is sharing the missing lobster story from Arnie Morton’s steakhouse and the prank pulled on the waitress who started to crack after Daniel Kellison was fucking with her, great anecdote that’s rarely told.


2nd JMOE ferret Owners, “They’re in the weasel family and so are the owners” – Adam

Adam is bringing up when it’s ok to own one and jokes about a ferret named “Janky” now Adam is blaming “Beastmaster” for bringing ferrets into the common parlance.

Adam is mocking the homoerotic fantasy of the movie and the evil leather henchmen, Adam jokes about everyone on staff being hooked up to the tumescence monitors while watching the footage.

Adam has a scenario of a ferret owner he accepts and jokes about them being the only pet that rides you, they’re all not commenting on the gay dudes from the castle.


Dawson is an expert in the movie too, Adam and he are bonding over the flick and BB has never seen it apparently.


3rd JMOE Q tips in ears, Alison is giving her take and Adam is bringing up the army surplus plane white virbrator as brought up in the future on the 2nd San Diego ACS #1391.

Adam is bringing up the time Jimmy tried to float that Q-Tip bit on Ellen and she was less than receptive.


4th JMOE from BB, he uses the finger nail clipper to pull earwax out, Adam uses the hook thing for toe cheese removal.

Alison is sharing how she can’t predict the bounty of her ears and the wax inside.

Adam jokes about “Beastmaster” some more and the tiger they painted black instead of using a panther to BB’s disbelief.


Q and Ace

1st Caller Scott, he wants to know about Adam borrowing Kevin Kimmel’s Mini Cooper while he was at college, Adam has a funny comment about his 8500 cars and explains it to Scott.

Adam has another JMOE and jokes about the race cars he can’t take on the streets and how he would use a grey mini cooper for a daily driver in place of a Ferrari regardless of how tempting it is.

They’re now planning a clip from “Beatmaster” and Adam has a hilarious Rob Halford joke that he tops with an even funnier “Village People” joke.



2nd Caller Matt, he wants to know how to take off his own home brewing and set up a craft beer company, Adam is sharing the pain of switching from craft beer to miller light and how you should drink shitty beer 1st.

Adam and BB are offering up some very practical advice and Adam is explaining how you need a distributor for local use, BB thought it was only for crossing state lines.

Adam is doing a live read for Tommy John Wear.

Adam is empathic and sharing how he had Matt Fondiler order more of their shirts after they gave him 4 for free.


Adam is now going to break.


They’re back from break with Amy Alkon talking about her book and she’s sharing how a story was stolen from her, Adam said the right thing “rambler” and Mike August corrected him.

Adam is trying to express how he was right but told misinformation, Alison looked up the wrong car a “Metropolitan” and she’s explaining how hard the rambler was to get around in.

Amy is sharing her experience getting her powder pink car stolen and how she was told that it would be chopped up in Mexico, Adam is asking her about the guy who stole it and was driving it around L.A.


She’s explaining the notion she had about the police trying to solve the crime committed against her and now Adam is confirming her realization about cops and how much work they actually do.

Adam is now ranting against the cops and Amy’s sharing what she learned about the cops in L.A. and Adam says that the cop’s policy is “don’t get involved” telling citizens to avoid becoming vigilantes.

Adam cites the Pasadena laptop case.


Adam is further ranting about pussy cops and chicken shit tickets, she’s sharing all the details of the recovery and now Adam is playing her a song about the Nash Rambler, they’re listening and Amy loves it.

Adam is shocked that Amy didn’t know of this song and Adam is amazed people don’t know there is a song about their car, Adam says that song could’ve cracked the top 25.

Alison is asking Amy about the science part of her column and she’s explaining how she does it, Adam has a great polar bear analogy about human psychology and the non-unique nature of human beings.


Amy has a great callback to “Beastmaster” and Alison brings up how buying a home turns you into more of an asshole and the evolutionary basis for people being so offended by someone intruding on their space, she explains how a picture of eyes can motivate better behavior.

Adam is joking about big prying eyes on the curtain in the window, she’s saying put it on your mailbox.

Adam is sharing his Dixie flag and gun rack on a pickup truck theory on preventing people from committing a home invasion and Amy brings up the theory of Elmore Leonard about how dumb criminals are.


Amy is telling them about solving all of her own criminal infringements from others, Adam is bringing up the obligation on people to do their jobs, now you have to hassle people to do the job they signed up to do.

Adam brings up the lack of competition and how it breeds apathy and anger among those who work for us.

Adam finds out how high that song about the car ranked and jokes about telling John Hiatt about all of the shitty songs that have outranked him on the charts over the years.


Adam and BB are doing a live read for Draft Kings and joking about the term “Bush League.”

Adam is giving out the plugs and wrapping up the show.

BB closes the show with Dawson saying the names of the ferrets from the “Beastmaster” and Dawson does his thing closing it out.