Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 08/07/2014 – Bill Goldberg, Live from The American Comedy Co. in San Diego
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Bill Goldberg, Live from The American Comedy Co. in San Diego
Recorded 08-06-2014 – Release Date 08-07-2014
Production Number #1390
Adam is opening the show with Bill Goldberg live on stage, he mentions his trip to Beverly Hills to go record in the PodcastOne studios, rad!
Adam is talking about coming “backside” from L.A. and drove through a guy named Jeb’s house, Adam reached around and skipped using “the 5” and he’s now complimenting Temecula and their local Arco station Jerky.
Adam is bringing up the “In Loving Memory” decal on a car, Adam is breaking down the series of thoughts he has about the death, and it was a white kid’s name on the car, the first non-Hispanic name he’s seen on a car decal.
Adam has a hilarious description of August’s reaction and jokes about it raining Mexicans, the white dead kid must have been crushed by a falling Mexican.
Bill is telling them about his giant car garage and former giant car he sold to Jesse James after being challenged by a woman about it just being an overcompensation for his penis size, Adam and Bill joke about an “add a leaf” to penis size.
Adam is now joking about Bill’s Jewish gynecologist father, Adam is being sarcastic, Adam says there are two ways to make someone who is super into cars, pussy etc. either deprived of it all their life or immersed in it all their life.
Adam is joking about the Goyim living on dead ends and having dentists, the Jews lived in Cul-De-Sacs and have orthodontists.
BB is now joining them on stage after leaving Los Angeles at 3pm, Alison has a killer joke about the show taking a dive now that he’s there.
Adam is now sharing his theory on every kid needing braces and how it’s like “free brake inspections” and Bill is now sharing some details of his upbringing, he’s now telling them about wearing a clown outfit for Halloween and witnessing Jewel hock a loogie into the crowd in 1989.
Adam says that’s not the Jewel he knows, now they’re talking about oysters in response to Jewel’s gift to the crowd, Adam is now bringing up the idea of eating raw oysters, he doesn’t like them nor the “sliding down the throat” move with the tabasco.
Adam asks how do they know it’s delicious, he’s now riffing about ramming a hamburger down his throat and not being able to enjoy eating it.
Adam says people like them as they are served on shaved ice and Alison is bringing up the dry ice, BB says “pill ice” and now Adam is joking about lubing up mozzarella sticks and swallowing them, Alison has a killer “gag a little bit” one liner.
“Is there an emptier calorie than one you swallow” – Adam being ponderous about food.
Alison brings up the D.A.R.E. program and the animated clips that would teach people how to avoid drugs, people don’t push drugs on you, they keep them to themselves, but they do force oysters on you.
Alison has a killer sound mocking what it would be like to chew up an oyster.
Adam is now polling the audience about if they like oysters, he’s interacting with a dude who “do chew” and he’s joking about getting a little shot of oyster shit and piss from biting into them.
Adam has a great “grubs and a rotting Manatee” riff proclaiming them as “awesome” and now Adam is offering Bill to join him for the “What Can’t Adam Complain About” and jokes about him having flashbacks with the bell.
Now Adam is asking Bill about his time in wrestling, how he was able to come in for 4 years and make his nut then leave without having to endure the hardships of the road.
Adam now wants to talk about “Road Pussy” for lesser known NFL players vs. being a famous wrestler and now Bill is sharing how he was able to transition and what it was like.
Adam is now riffing about large guys needing security and how silly it seems, Goldberg is telling them about head-butting a guy through a chain-link fence and how awesome it felt.
Alison wants to know how the fence affected the head-butt move and he calls it “abrasive” and says it dropped the guy and he may have been bleeding, Adam has a killer “wheelchair and custom van” reply that Goldberg tops with a “Parking pass” one liner.
Adam is joking about head-butting, somehow the guy knows it’s coming wins, he’s now joking that the receiver should change gears mid head-butt and do a “Now I’m head-butting you move” as it seems the person who is more adamant gets less damage.
What Can’t Adam Complain About
1st Topic Free Parking, BB gets in a dig about his own experience and how that would have helped him show up on time, good point!
From “Oyster chugging” Bez, the oyster guy from the crowd, he’s explaining the origins of his name and Adam is now mocking names from the bible, he brings up Adam and Goldberg, hilarious!
Adam is mocking Bez, who he calls “Beelzebub” and his career of sales, Adam wants to know if the bible even has pictures and references “Ham” the son of Noah and calls it the coolest name in the bible, now he’s riffing about his lost black brother black forest Ham.
Adam is now lumping in Bible experts and Tech experts, they know 10% more than the average person and lord it over you like there are somehow above you, and he’s got a killer BJ joke in there too.
Adam is now getting to the topic.
Adam says al parking should be free because it’s on the streets we fucking pay for, Adam calls parking meters “rape sticks” and how the founding fathers would react to this concept.
Adam is killing it with a point about how they need to raise the cost of the parking meter or lower ticket prices, nowhere else does 10 cents cost you 60 bucks, hilarious riff.
Bill Goldberg is now telling them about his classic car and his wife working with Tom Berenger as a stuntwoman, she was thrown of a train onto another train, Adam is quizzing Bill about her forte in the stunt business.
Adam has a killer “Pro Touring” joke about people showing off their douchey powerful cars across the country.
Bill is now telling them about the “Hotrod Power Tour” and Alison is asking great follow up questions.
“Cars are kinda like chicks the cooler they are the harder they are to take camping” – Adam
Bill is explaining how these cars are made to run without overheating despite their innate tendencies from their specific builds.
Adam is now mocking Pahrump Nevada, citing the time he shot “Top Gear” in 2008 and how Heidi Fleiss chose it as her place to retire.
Bill is telling them about his relationship with Dale Earnhardt and his Son Dale Jr. and now they’re joking about Alison being a NASCAR expert.
Adam wraps up parking with Jedidiah.
2nd Topic Michael, Adam is joking about his seat proximity to the last guy who suggested a topic, he’s now riffing about nobody being named after a character in the Torah.
Bill is now riffing about being a Jewish defensive lineman in the NFL and Adam name drops a former Charger.
Michael wants Adam to complain about silence, Adam is now saying “watch this” and is saying you can’t go 8 seconds without talking on stage, he’s now offering 15 seconds of dead air.
15 seconds of silence after Goldberg’s funny quip, holy shit that was forever!
Adam says that Goldberg is taking a shit, Adam jokes about a “Brownberg” and now Alison is telling them about having to pee while driving to the venue today.
Alison says she’s started a new thing of moaning while she pees and his concerned about it, Adam is telling them about his “get off the sofa” grunt he’s began doing.
He’s also losing control of his farting and how he used to be able to use his well-trained sphincter that still has a new anus smell.
“I lost my assball” – Adam on his declining fart abilities.
Adam jokes that if Goldberg took a shit in that time he was gone he would have a medallion around his neck, gold!
Adam is saying he doesn’t like that aging speeds up as you get older, you start out slowly getting closer to the grave and now you’re on a full on sprint to the end of your life.
Adam is bringing up how far away vacations and breaks were in school when you were young, Bill just crop dusted the stage and told them, Adam caught a whiff and compliments the man.
“Till the 27 fucking days of Chanukah, you Jews have to hoard everything”- Adam after being told by Bill he didn’t have Christmas.
Adam says wouldn’t it be awesome if they flipped aging, it was super-fast when you were young and then smash cut to 80 and the weeks won’t end, everyone likes that.
Adam is explaining that it’s all relative.
“The first time you drive to San Francisco… and blow a dude…” – Adam joking mid driving to SFO analogy.
BB has a footnote about the Torah being cannibalized in the bible so technically they are, Adam wants the bible left out of it, and Alison has a great Tara joke.
1st Story Is on Craig Ferguson’s replacement for the Late Late Show on CBS.
Adam interrupts to tell everyone about stepping in gum outside the gas station and how he always wants to know what flavor it is after stepping in it.
Adam is sharing how he was compelled to smell the gum, Alison agrees and Bill wants to know what kind of fucking human beings they are, hilarious quip!
Adam says he walked over to a dirt patch to “dust it with flower” as Alison puts it.
Now Adam is bringing up driving a honeybee Porta-potty draining truck, Adam wants to use the reverse switch and Alison jokes about the truck hooking itself up to an even larger truck to empty it.
Adam is mocking people who leave their dog’s shit in a bag on the side of the trail, BB brings up Adam kicking his dog’s shit down a hill and is objecting to it.
Adam says shit rolls downhill, does it not? He also says it can only land on homeless people and they get what they deserve.
Adam is joking about reversing a honeybee truck into the sunroof of a gal that did him wrong, this classic riff.
Adam says he will only date women with convertibles, “if you ever cross me bitch” and he’s now joking about using a trowel to smooth out the topside and joking about using a pencil to carve his initials into the smoothed out shitcrete.
Adam is now riffing with his new potential girlfriend Alison and telling her to use a “hide a key” and making her promise and now he’s back to her sunroof, this is solid.
Adam is now riffing about an extra garage clicker for him to break into her car and tells her to eat her sauté and is now back to the dinner conversation.
Adam changed “fecal matter” to “People matter” and they’re doing another lap, Adam is quizzing her about car and its sunroof.
Now he’s riffing about it with Goldberg and jokes about him being a fucking weirdo, Alison has him clarify about shitting directly into someone’s sunroof and Adam is bringing up the “salvage” that would end up on the cars title.
Adam is now riffing about the disclosure process for the poop, this is wonderful!
Adam is now walking through the process of discovering your car like this, can you open the door?
Alison has a wise point about cabin air or fresh air vent settings and Adam brings up the car being stuck in park.
Adam is now back to the 1230am spot and how Letterman didn’t want Jon Stewart in that slot, he wanted a less likeable less famous guy.
Adam is bringing up Colbert replacing his show “Too Late” on Comedy Central, he’s sharing how the “main man” on set of “The Late Late Show” in 2004 said to him “that didn’t go too well did it?” the equivalent of “Bird Seed up the urethra” not blowing smoke up his ass.
Adam was guest hosting after the departure of Craig Kilborn in 2004
Adam is explaining how the 2nd night went smoother with Kathy Griffin and Adam is citing the Williams sister who guested on the show Venus or Serena.
Adam is explaining the Behymen to Goldberg and joking with BB about it.
2nd Story Is on the latest words added to the English dictionary, Adam is joking about “Selfie” and “Photobomb” being in the same sentence and he’s now bringing up Congress taking 5 weeks off, Adam says his vacation is “never” and is making points about how he turns long weekends into work.
Adam is bringing up a conversation he had with the porcelain punisher Matt Fondiler about having a full week off of the podcast, but he is doing “Catch a Contractor” while he’s off and then going to Laguna Seca.
Adam is joking about his photos from his non vacation, sitting at home working, Adam is joking about people returning from vacation, he says they shouldn’t bring it up to those who didn’t get a vacation.
Adam is explaining why he demands the ground pepper on his salad first, he’s paying, he’s going to die first, his wife is going to be on earth fucking his friends and driving his cars.
3rd Story is on the 60sec drive through being tested by McDonalds, she’s explaining how it works and questions the logic of their press release/goal for 60 seconds.
Adam is now mocking the one guy who is doing a lunch run and gets multiple bags for a whole crew, Adam says when you see two guys in line they are only getting food for them, there are never two dudes on a run.
Alison explains how they offer a free meal if you wait, Bill is telling Adam about his first job at McDonalds and Adam is sharing his own experiences and desire to eat the spoiled food.
Bill is sharing a gross “peed on the grill” move he pulled on some customers, Alison wants to know who he was getting back at.
Adam is now doing a live read for Tommy John Wear, he’s trying to work BB into the read and he mentions that they messed up his order, Adam is joking about his mini skirt undershirt.
Bill is joking about Adam using obscenities in his live reads, Adam is riffing and works Carl Sagan into it.
Alison is now wrapping up the news and Adam is giving out the plugs and wrapping the show.