Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 08/02/2017 – Maz Jobrani
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Maz Jobrani
Recorded 07-31-2017 – Release Date 08-02-2017
Production Number #2130
Adam opens the show to a funny “not gentle but definitely a man” intro courtesy of Dawson and Lynch, BB has a solid “come on Adam this is what we do, just do this” #TopDrop of Adam’s personal pep talk.
Adam welcomes Gina and BB to the show and quickly gets into the series of racing titled ‘Trans Am’ that encompasses many models of cars and race types, not just Trans Am model cars.
Adam explains the upcoming race is going to be very technical due to the track, Gina asks him to explain the differences between Willow Springs and Sonoma, what makes one more technical.
Adam is explaining what a difference of 5 seconds per lap means for an overall race outcome, Adam is explaining how he’s also going to be driven and taught how to drive his Porsche, he’s excited to go race and shake these cars out.
Adam says the gearing and tires won’t be perfect for him to match or beat Newman’s time, so he’s not expecting much as he’s going to drive this vehicle cold, Adam says you must weigh your ego against the concrete wall.
Adam says the pressure to perform well and look like a hero has to be pitted against the real-world danger of driving the car too hard beyond your ability to control it.
BB asks if Adam is going to be flying on Leno’s private jet, Adam says he’s taking Southwest out there and flying back private.
Adam brings up how he wanted to book his flight from Burbank to Sonoma, there were no such flights, you have to fly from LAX, BB confirms it and explains he took that flight to Santa Rosa for a funeral.
Adam is building up to how he discovered he could get a nonstop from Burbank to Oakland, which is 7minute closer to the track than the Santa Rosa airport.
Adam is now recreating his back and forth with Matt Fondiler, Gary gets on mic to ask if Adam wants the numbers or if he’s building up to a point crescendo.
Adam is breaking down the math and the 10-mile difference, he even gets to the time saved by travelling via jet aircraft with Southwest vs. prop plane with an express carrier.
Adam credits his Crystal Brain for thinking up this solution and not settling on the flight he didn’t want to take from the airport he didn’t want to drive to and park at.
Gary confirms how much time Adam saved with all of his machinations and Adam tells them about being driven home by Jay Leno in a Fiat, after the first time he flew home with him on the private jet.
Adam says it was one of the first Fiat’s they delivered, which sounds like he’s implying the new revamped Fiat, BB thinks he means a classic car and makes a funny coal joke that might actually make 0 sense, Adam isn’t betraying it and they move on.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Jimmy, he’s proud of Adam and his style, telling him “you make a lot of sense man” and then he suggests Adam run for office, Adam jokes about having nude pictures on the internet and how it’s game on, nothing matters anymore.
You can practically hear BB laughing at Jimmy for slightly not tracking, Jimmy references his previous calls and how he usually likes to pick on Adam.
Adam is bringing up his speech to congress about the portion of society that won’t and can’t attend college.
Jimmy is further trying to compliment Adam, BB has a great “what are you talking about?” drop from Sonny, which could be him mocking Adam for his kids being destined to not attend or to mock Jimmy, BB snickers at the drop.
Jimmy wants to share a Paul Newman anecdote and gets a “great story” drop from BB, Jimmy asks about the track day, Gina says he did great as this is pre-taped, Jimmy gets confused and thinks he missed it and asks Adam what his track times were, which Adam couldn’t tell as he explained already, Adam clarifies he hasn’t actually raced the car on the track yet and they move on.
Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath – Season Two Edition
2nd Caller Wade, he’s a pilot and shares his love for ‘The Man Show’ stunt where Adam and Jimmy pretended to be drunk pilots at the airport.
Wade wants to know how drunk they were and how much of it was acting, Adam compares it to the episode with Snoop Dogg where they smoked weed and acted stoned.
Adam explains he had to record Loveline after the bit and had to race over at 09:45pm to make the show in Culver city.
Adam says both are true, they were drunk and they were acting as if they were even more drunk than they actually were.
BB shares his bone to pick with ‘What Would You Do?’ which borrowed the concept of the drunk pilots without referencing the first show to portray it.
Adam mocks the concept of the show and cites an angry Suge Knight type yelling at kids and BB brings up the ugly Americans in Europe, joking about beating them with a Baguette to escape the questions afterwards when it’s revealed to be a stunt for a TV show.
Adam and BB talk about Billy Bush and his far greater consequences for Trump’s “snatch” grabbing comments, BB corrects himself about a geography mistake form earlier and Adam asks if they need to take a break before bringing in Maz.
3rd Caller Andy, he’s a huge fan and tells Adam how proud he is of him and impressed he is with Adam’s appearance before Congress.
Andy cites the “Adults are the present” line and how he came up with it, Adam says he didn’t get to the 2nd part about adults being the present and the need for adults to act like adults now to ensure the children can have a future.
Geico – Everybody’s got the to do list, dry cleaning, address congress etc. Edition
4th Caller Michael wants to add to names to the list of actresses who would be disgusted to have sex with Adam, Adam jokes about nobody receiving oral better than him.
Michael mentions he’s digging ditches and suggests Jessica Chastain, Gina mentions her being vegan and Adam jokes about having a “weird meat ooze” and he explains the differences between sex and workout funk.
Michael now suggests Alice Eve, Adam says you can’t solely base this on aesthetics, sometimes English people can have better senses of humor regardless of their beauty.
Hilarious “Oxnard” riffing after Adam goofs up saying Oxford, BB now riffs with Michael about Alice Eve potentially being into him, hilarious!
Adam says he’s all ears for more suggestions and he explains the overall series of qualities a woman must possess to be among this elite group.
Adam is now trying to conjure the name Amy Adams and mixes her up with Julianne Moore, citing the movie ‘Boogie Nights’ which leads Gina to mention Heather Graham, Adam says it’s his fuck up for sending her on the wrong path.
BB conjures the name Amy Adams and Adam is saying her speech where she credited her child with teaching her a lot about courage and how she jumped up like 6-7 spots on the list with that speech.
Gina suggests Jada Pinkett Smith and Adam considers and urban list but then realizes she’s a bit crazy and might go for it, funny one liner from BB.
Gary now plays the clip of Amy Adams thanking her daughter and Adam jokes about violating her in the same room as her daughter, BB has a killer Tom Leykis laugh drop, possibly Fake Tom Leykis as performed by Brian Whitman.
Gary is on mic and they’re trying to come up with the best term to describe these women that would hate to have sex with Adam.
5th Caller Bryce, Bryce is not responding.
Adam has Gary bring Maz in after asking him to clarify if they are taking a break or not, they don’t have to so they’re just going to roll through.
6th Caller Matt, he was calling to leave a voicemail and is a little hoarse, he tells Adam he’s been listening since 1996 and he gushes over Adam’s “retro” show, Adam presses him to get him to clarify and he says it’s LoveLine and he thanks “that guy” who recompiles and recovers it, ha!
Matt is starting a new company and they intend to use SEO for a business strategy, BB explains what SEO is and Matt says he wants to use podcasts to connect to audiences.
Adam asks who they’re planning to interview, Matt explains the platform of the business is to get people connected to live coaches.
Adam jokingly asks if he was really intending to leave a voicemail with all of this information, Adam says he will let Matt do that and Matt thanks Adam for riffing on Jamie Raskin’s hair.
Maz Jobrani is returning to the show for his 3rd appearance, he previously guested on ACS #1499 from 2015 and ACS #2057 from April of this year.
Maz Jobrani is now joining them and Adam is riffing about Jamie Raskin and his “Jewfromb-over” before asking Maz about his hairline, asking if he must shave or chooses to shave.
Maz credits Michael Jordan for making the bald male look cool, he also credits Yul Brynner and BB emphatically agrees sharing an apocryphal anecdote about Yul Brynner choosing to rock a bald head despite never having male pattern baldness.
Adam is now going ethnic to escape the conversation centered around men of privilege, Adam brings up Otis Sistrunk and the famous footage of Otis with steam pouring off his head.
Adam is now trying to explain the afro pressure of the 1970’s and how the bald look wasn’t as accepted.
Adam is now joking about Chris Laxamana knowing when Otis played professional ball.
Adam is quoting a great line from Otis “it was a mother!” after a hard-fought NFL game.
Adam is now setting up a clip from Maz’s Netflix special, Maz is talking about Donald Trump and telling jokes about being “Muslim’ish” with some nice reactions from Adam as they watch it.
Adam plugs the special one more time and warns Maz that he has some questions about praying, he’s saying he was thinking about the various forms of prayer.
Adam says he might be down with praying if he could multitask while doing it, he couldn’t bow towards mecca and unroll a rug multiple times per day, he can’t get down with that level of prayer commitment.
Maz pitches a prayer app, Gina has an anecdote of witnessing prayer and Adam asks if he can use a yoga mat for praying if you’re Muslim.
Maz tells Adam about the arrows they have pointing towards mecca in the middle east, Adam asks him some follow up questions about travelling to the middle east.
Maz tells them about acts like Eddie Griffin touring the middle east and how he can’t imagine them performing a clean set.
Maz explains how he saw a billboard advertising Chris Tucker and how he couldn’t believe that his act would fly as sex, religion and politics are typically left out of comedy performed there.
Maz goes in depth on what he heard about Eddie Griffin’s set and how he kept it clean for the majority and the went blue to close it out, he explains how some of the audience are young men who wants vulgarity but the families present do not.
Adam is sharing his thoughts on comedy spreading to the middle east, he says comedy is a great yardstick to measure a culture and society.
You can judge where a society is at based on how they treat and appreciate comedy, Adam says you have to get to a certain place in society to appreciate, seek out and create comedy.
Adam says comedians are rock stars in our culture and Maz cites the Forbes list about the top earning comedians each year, Gina is well aware of it and knows Seinfeld took the top spot back for this year.
Maz brings up the White House Correspondents’ dinner and the ability to mock those in power and what that means about a country. Maz is telling them about Bassem Youssef who became huge in Egypt, akin to the Jon Stewart of Egypt and Adam has a killer “Patch Ansari” one liner.
Adam says he looks for indicators about where society is heading, he has always said how a culture treats their women is another great yardstick for the kinds of people you’re dealing with.
Adam uses his buddy Ray and his impressive physique and how everything was Ray’s way or the highway, due to his 80lbs of muscle that he had one everyone.
Adam says he lives with his wife and has 70lbs on her, he says we’re evolved and it’s a no-fault state so he doesn’t intimidate his wife into doing what he wants.
Adam says it’s less about hating women and more about getting what they want, they like getting what they want more than they care about other things.
Maz is now contributing and says some of the countries we presume do not have assertive women actually do, he cites the election in Iran in 2009 and the CNN footage of the women protesting.
Maz is in full agreement about understanding the value of women and their contributions to life and society, making a solid point about the Taliban and denying education to girls and how that eliminates half of a workforce and hobbles a society.
Onnit.com – Adam has an Alpha Brain and a shot of MCT Oil, Aubrey Marcus on TAK. Edition
They play a clip from TAK #135 with Onnit CEO Aubrey Marcus, it’s a clip where he doesn’t speak but Adam assures us he was nodding feverishly the whole time Adam was talking in the clip that was selected.
1st Story is on Anthony Scaramucci’s removal from his position, Gina has the breaking news and explains this episode was taped on July 31st, to account for the perceived delay in this report and the airing.
Everyone is now speculating on his current dating situation and BB suggests Anthony was a leaker himself, Gina has a funny quote from Barstool Sports about Anthony’s appearance.
Adam is objecting to it being leaking, Maz makes BB’s point and backs it up and Adam agrees than he is a leaker.
Gary is on mic and Gina quotes the text Anthony sent his wife after she gave birth to their child, Gina also quotes Anthony talking about himself and Donald, Adam breaks down the saying and speculates that fish guts might stink.
Adam is citing the old “hat swapping” joke about small towns with people holding multiple jobs.
2nd Story is on the deal to bring The Olympics back to Los Angeles, Adam says he was going to speculate on the horrible traffic and infrastructure crunch of the games but he realized that him and everyone he knows will be in Austin Texas by then.
Gary has a factoid about Los Angeles matching London with 3 Olympic Games.
3rd Story is on Adam’s testimony before congress and Gina has several clips from it, this is all gold!
Adam is now responding to his comments about diversity training and learning to be a good person from 0-18, instead of waiting until college.
Adam further talks about diversity training and sexual harassment seminars, he makes a great point about their ineffectiveness.
Adam is now bringing up the story they kept trotting out about the first black female president of the student body at a school in Florida.
Adam says that sometimes this stuff isn’t racist and it’s done by a drunken idiot, person of the same persuasion agitating and stirring shit up and of course actual racism and hatred.
Adam is now making a point about the majority of the university voting in a black woman and the overall breakdown of the ethnicities of the student, he says it’s still a good story and focusing on the 1-5 people responsible for this “noose around a banana” move is a mistake.
Maz is now weighing in about his kids and what he teaches them, Maz brings up integration and how college campuses are a great place to meet people from different races and backgrounds.
Maz says he thinks people should study abroad and get a wider perspective of life and how people are just trying to live their lives and get by everywhere on the planet.
Adam jokes about “Chick Klan” and how women aren’t presumed to be racists, he cites Sonny who loves black men and worships black male athletes, his heroes are all black guys.
Adam says that Sonny and all of his little lily-white friends are going to have a tough time being racists when they worship Lebron James.
SNHU – Skyrocketing tuitions at other schools & universities, Nate Adams’ wife paid off her loans Edition
Everyone talks about their student loan debt and Maz shares his scheme to see discounted movies to get his money’s worth out of his education.
Adam is talking about the insane interest rates charged by the IRS and how the government and hospitals will always fuck you.
Adam is saying the government would shut down a credit card that used the same practices as the IRS.
4th Story is on Brian Johnson’s crash at the Silverstone Classic, Adam jokes about him having a gear shifter up his ass and explains that vintage car racing is getting very popular.
Adam is breaking down the various classes of automobiles at these vintage race events, he says from the ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’ era all the way through the GTP cars of the late 1980’s.
Adam says the vintage cars are going up in price and the old crappy Japanese race cars that nobody wanted when he bought them are now rising in value faster than exotic European sports cars.
BB asks how many recognizable names would be in any given race, how many celebrities and BB brings up Patrick Dempsey, he races professionally and proclaimed that vintage racing was too dangerous for him to consider when Adam asked why he didn’t participate in it.
Adam says there will be professional drivers you may have heard of, driving in someone else’s car and he’s asking Gary to read the names from a list of a run group of cars.
Zip Recruiter – Standard Edition
Gina wraps the news and BB has a great drop of her saying “disgusted with Adam” with a great comedic delivery.
Adam is further asking Gary for the run group designation information, he keeps saying 4A.
Gary is on mic and they discuss it some more, BB thinks he spotted it and then they realize it’s still not what Adam is looking for.
Adam has a closing plug for Maz Jobrani’s new Netflix comedy special “Immigrant” and Gary gets on mic to read the run group info, Adam says he can go to this website and figure this out and he’s semi-retarded, implying Gary is now “full-Tard” two Full-Tards?
Adam closes the show to a great drop of himself saying that there are images of him having sex on the internet, so what!