Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 07/14/2014 – Steve Byrne

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 07/14/2014 – Steve Byrne

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Steve Byrne

Recorded 07-13-2014 – Release Date 07-14-2014

Production Number #1366

Show Page

Adam is opening the show with an impassioned thank you and BB has a #TopDrop from ACS #1364 with Pete Holmes.

BB teases his “Hooray for Baldywood” for Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Adam is telling them about spending his day in Hacienda Heights and he mentions that Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas was from there.

Alison is telling them about going to a therapist in Hacienda Heights, Adam says it’s like saying “I went to Bakersfield to go to a deli” and has another solid example too.

 

Alison explains how she ended up there, Adam is now riffing on the “little indicators” of life, and you don’t need to see every room of someone’s house, just look in their car.

Adam is using hickory farms and cider samples at Trader Joes to make his point, he’s now telling them about spending time in Kirkland Washington in 2010 for the 6 back to back live shows.

Adam is riffing about the cross walk flags and what that says about my hometown.

 

“Kirkland Washington, this is a nice place to retire” – Adam, Alison adds “you’re white” and interrupts his quote about my hometown, he seems to like it though.

Adam is now joking about 300lbs limits on the cherry lifts and cherry cranes used for city vehicles.

Adam is now joking about the stretch of wall adoption program he saw, Adam is joking about trying to explain this to the Los Angelinos of the 1950’s.

 

Adam says he saw the adopt a wall sign in Wilmington and jokes about how depressing that sign is, the notion of every square inch needing to be adopted to be cleaned of graffiti every day.

Adam is saying this gets fed to us in little bite size morsels, but it’s a bad sign of a much more insidious problem.

BB is sharing an anecdote from driving with his wife Christie, Adam is telling them about the new freeway construction that gets new graffiti with every foot added.

 

Adam is telling them about one of the obese contractors who showed up with such band breath they had to tell him to chew some gum, they’re all riffing about man side titties and BB connects it to the kid from “A Christmas Story” and now Adam is riffing about this guy showing up to meet a new client looking like this.

Adam has a funny whine and a ‘I want to kill myself, I want to work in cruise ship” reply about the man’s sob story and the reality of the situation.

BB is asking Adam about the new chick being used for the contractor sting’s now that Alison Bedell’s cover is blown.

 

Adam is telling them about having to tell the new chick to “go get some lunch” after she was talking his ear off during his meal.

Adam comments on the wasted calories, the ones you don’t remember and Alison slightly misunderstands him, it’s his old “eating pie while talking to his mom on the phone” example.

Adam says he didn’t do the math on needing to replace Alison Bedell, he’s saying that the contractors don’t often communicate with each other, Alison has a funny message board comment.

 

Adam is commenting on how he’s watching “Catfish” again and doesn’t watch much TV, BB mocks him for sticking to the good stuff, but BB doesn’t watch TV either and seemed to like the movie.

Adam is joking about “We were supposed to hook up but her grandmother got ill” excuse people use about not meeting up and how they go right back to their charade.

Adam says that all of us view that and comment on it, telling the people to “wake up” and Adam says in our own lives we have our own version of “Wake Up” and gives some examples.

 

Adam is also using “Oh Come on” and now Alison is bringing up her dating history and Adam is bringing up the person still in community college and BB brings up his gym membership.

They’re now riffing on the business model of gyms.

BB says sunk and Adam prefers the more modern kaput.

 

Adam is now getting to his “What she’s fat” reaction on Catfish, he’s trying to pose the question and BB has a bizarre opposite hypothetical that doesn’t quite work.

Adam is now using Farrah Fawcett as the avatar and her being replaced by Jacklyn Smith, Adam says that pretty close to 100% of guys would stay with it, as long as it was an attractive other, just not a fat chick.

Adam is quoting how Catfish always works out, Adam says even if they send a photo of a 9 that if a 6 or 7 walked out the guys would be cool with it.

Alison wants to know why fat is so odious, she’s making some great points and raising great questions, Adam says it’s nothing health based, he’s got a chain-smoking chick with a coke habit example.

 

Adam is getting to the peer pressure angle, he’s now citing genes and the genetic component of seeking a mate, Adam is now connecting this to the cars men drive.

Funny climb in and out and custom van one liners and gross ironic pervy guy laughter from Ace.

Adam has a funny “she’s a little chunkster” line about people’s reaction upon meeting a person’s spouse or partner.

 

Adam is using the look of Paul Giamatti and BB reads Adam’s mind by saying composer, Adam is bringing up how many other factors play into men dating women.

Adam is taking it back to his hypothetical, Alison says she agrees and BB does too, quoting the Millionaire Matchmaker.

Adam is doing a Legal Zoom live read.

 

Q and Ace, Ada has a strange sigh

1st Caller Anna, she’s wondering what kind of advice they could gleam from Adam about a long lasting relationship.

Adam is giving his square footage and two TiVo’s example and a new twist “waiting on the other person to fix your life” bit of advice, saying that many marriages go south as people expect the other person to make them feel the way they want to feel about themselves.

Alison has a wise “Each person is responsible for their own happiness” reply, “unless you’re marring an old weirdo” – Adam commenting her youth.

 

Adam is now using BB and Christie’s zest for life to make a point about them being out doing their thing in the world, they don’t need each-other to be whole people.

Adam says guys aren’t nearly as emotionally sophisticated or complicated as women make them out to be, Men don’t want women to be better, we just want the refrigerator door shut, we’re not coding our desires.

Adam is saying men want what they say, we’re not saying hey stupid, or ugly, we’re just trying to get you to modify behavior for a simple straight forward solution.

 

“My mayonnaise bills are through the roof” – BB, Adam is now waxing poetic on organized sports leading men to a different mentality about instructions.

BB has a funny passive aggressive football coach riff, great quotes, killer!

Adam has some very specific examples and says that every conversation doesn’t need to turn into a debate, BB says he would like to get more advice on ways to do things.

 

Adam is now sharing the needs of women when it comes to being emotionally available, he’s got some real world examples.

Alison has a hilarious reaction and now BB is piping in some virtual Adam, Adam is commenting on Lynette’s new business and sales, Adam is joking about having to run his Terminator programming to engage her.

Alison cites Adam’s “don’t leave the Rueben in the back seat” example and now Adam is riffing to the Terminator theme, joking about a conversation with his wife.

 

Adam is commenting on how being in a world of shit can be alleviated by diving into your partners for a moment, Adam is using his life and talking to Lynette about her work as an escape from his reality of lawsuits and nonsense.

Adam is telling them about his new follow up show “Adam Carolla is catching a nap” for his Reverie live read, thanks to an assist from BB.

Adam is really going in depth on this bed and how great it is, it’s truly changed his life and he’s connecting it back to their caller Anna and her impending nuptials.

 

Hooray for Baldywood

BB saw “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes” (2014) and Adam is asking BB about the original version of this done during the first series of Planet of the Apes.

Adam is saying that “Cloverfield” is a movie that’s completely gone, it no longer exists, and Adam has never seen it on Bu-Ray and never on cable.

BB cites the private screening they went to in 2008 and Alison mentions the director’s name Matt Reeves.

 

BB says is going off on the plot, 8 years after the last movie, set in 2018.

Adam jokes about his kids being able to get their leaners permit before we’re all decimated by Apes, Adam is joking about 2006 being so different than now.

BB is commenting on how great Kerri Russel looks, Adam says he decided there were too many apes and they were too small, regarding the last movie.

 

Adam is joking about posters for Dawn and the destroyed golden gate bridge and what a movie trope it is, he’s joking about it being a hate crime and even romantic comedies now featuring the bridge blowing up.

BB says he doesn’t understand the love of these movies and he’s saying it’s very boring, too much plot and he’s joking about solitary tear drops even on the Apes.

Adam calls back the bridge being blown out and his now asking who writes a screenplay and thinks about destroying the golden gate, how could that be done again, Adam is bringing up the Tacoma narrows bridge and saying they should destroy that.

 

BB is now commenting on the box office, Adam is now asking if there is a weird cosmic balance for movies like “Days of Thunder” being successful despite being crappy, Adam is bringing up the horrific crash on the track in the end of the movie.

Adam says that gets people killed, yellow flags come out when there is an accident, and he’s bringing up the movie’s hypocrisy in following the rules and laws of racing.

Adam is bringing up the flag guy rolling up the flag and pointing it at you as go by, Alison calls it a weirdly aggrieve yet impotent move.

 

Adam is saying that this is payback, like Tom Cruise not having a hit in “Edge of Tomorrow” is his cosmic payback, a force in the universe balancing the scales.

BB is bringing up the career of Jim Carrey and the movie “I Love You Philip Morris” his point isn’t that clear, Adam says he saw the scene where they blew up the bridge during a vigorous gay act.

Adam is now taking it to break.

 

They’re back from break.

Steve Byrne is making his 3rd appearance on the show, Adam is asking him about “13 or Bust” and the idea of breaking the record of 13 sets in one night.

Steve is telling them about how he beat Dave Attell’s record of 12, Adam has a funny “Catch” riff about the NYC comedy club scene.

Steve is doing a great job breaking down an entire subculture of standup comedy.

 

Steve is now comparing Los Angeles to NYC and how it would be impossible to replicate the NYC scene on the west coast.

Adam has a great jazz metaphor for how people seek out comedy in NYC vs. L.A. after Steve was arguing about performing in front of industry.

Adam says you often find more dedicated “fans” as opposed to in NYC where people go out for “jazz” aka comedy, not really aware of the performer or the type.

 

Alison is now telling them an anecdote about a house concert, she’s explaining her confusion and then enjoyment of the evening.

Hilarious “Squirrel Nut Zippers” reference and follow up riff from Ace.

Adam is asking Steve about his work on Sullivan and Sons, the TBS show he does.

 

Steve mentions they had a racer on the show and wants to know if Math is connected to car racing, Adam is riffing about him letting us have our NASCAR.

Adam is now trying to explain Apex and turning radius to the gang and Steve, the art of straightening out a turn.

Adam is now riffing a list of cars for people who don’t like cars, the Honda CRV is the #1 car for people who live in Los Angeles and don’t want to own a car but must own a car.

 

Adam is now riffing about the Chevy Celebrity and Malibu with Steve, sharing his theory on the overcompensation of car names, Alison has a funny Acura joke.

Adam is sharing his obsession with the Daihatsu Charade and how he thinks it was a translation problem.

They find out that Daihatsu is Japanese despite Steve thinking it was Korean like Adam, Adam has a hilarious you were born with that knowledge reply to Steve calling back the Apex topic.

 

Alison’s News

Adam is doing a Go To Meeting Live Read, Steve is asking her about having a theme song and what it must be like, she’s telling him about her other theme song too, Adam is joking about her bogarting the themes.

Steve referencing Sherman Helmsley.

 

1st Story Is on Germany winning the World Cup, she’s referencing “Goatse” the internet meme and saying that Mario Götze who plays for Germany reminds her of it because of his last name.

Adam jokes about not knowing what it was, Adam also is saying he’s so glad he didn’t give a shit about this game, Steve calls back Alison’s explicating description.

Adam is mocking the “he’s the best in the world” descriptions for players used by the announcers and how if they are playing 0 for 36 perhaps they’re not the best in the world.

 

Steve brings up orange slices and Alison now want’s everyone’s take on them and orange as a fruit, they’re all discussing the game of soccer.

Alison is bringing up the scourge of cottage cheese making your teeth seem yellow in comparison, Alison is trying to explain the concept and how some white sting cheese she spotted in the mirror made her thinks of this, she’s now calling for only blue foods.

Adam is bringing up the pressure to get your teeth whitened when the people around you have their teeth whitened.

 

Adam is telling them about watching “Welcome Back Kotter” over the weekend, Steve says he doesn’t think it was on TBS, it probably was.

Adam is commenting on the character of “Epstein” and how at a certain point he went to visit Vinnie Barbarino in the hospital, they were only sophomores in the show.

BB has a crazy reaction to that reveal, Adam is now mocking it and joking about this being 22 jump street.

 

Adam is joking about Barbarino’s one bandana from the front pocket being an as yet unknown gay code, Adam is joking about short guys not wearing them as it makes them look smaller.

Alison references Punky Brewster.

Steve has a great reference to “Enter the Dragon” and the character of Washington, gold!

Welcome back Kotter took place in the 10th grade, Adam went nuts.

 

Alison is telling them about the book “Our Bodies Ourselves” and how the hair in the book turned her off to the whole idea of sexuality and puberty.

Adam is back to the show, he’s breaking down the ethnicities of the characters and says it seems like a lot to digest.

Steve found porn via the woods, Alison is telling them about the “shit with curling irons “she saw that some creep left in a gazebo, Steve’s reactions are priceless.

 

Adam says it was just back in the 1970’s when everyone was an adult, he’s not citing the song “Chevy Van” and joking about the idea of men being creepy in that era, all around.

Alison is now realizing that the things she saw may have been vibrators or dildos not curling irons, Adam thinks she might be right, wow!

Adam is commenting on Epstein’s actual age.

 

2nd Story Is on Disney’s live version of “Peter Pan” and the new version of Grease coming on its heels, Adam wants to know why they always have to get a chick to play Peter Pan.

Adam has a hilarious nutsack and cock reasoning for why they never cast men and she’s telling them about Christopher Walken being cast as Captain Hook.

Adam is joking about these live shows being the best chance for an actor to yell freak out and pull a soy bomb meltdown.

Adam and Steve are joking about Mike Meyer’s reaction to Kanye West and his “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” stunt.

 

3rd Story Is on the death of the final living Ramone, Adam is joking about the looks of that era and Alison is filling them in on how Tommy was the last living member.

Adam says this much like the first time a child star does her first porn or rehab stint makes him feel old, Adam is using the death of MJ and Steve is in agreement, they both use it as mile markers for their lives.

Steve is telling them about his obsession with the show “The Two Corey’s” and Adam jokes about the surviving members of the Elephant Man’s family buying Michael Jackson’s bones.

 

Adam is killing it in character as the grandson of the Elephant Man, this is gold, Ace Awards 2014 material, laugh out loud funny!

Alison and Steve are joking about the elephant man having a jacked non deformed body.

Alison brings up the series on the 90’s on the Discovery Channel, she’s telling them how Rob Lowe is the narrator and an on camera interview and has to throw to himself.

 

Adam is bringing up the posters of the 2014’s vs. the posters of the 1980’s and he’s got a killer “choices” comment.

Adam says that we’ve always been into money but the 1980’s and 90’s was all about cash, we were honest.

Adam references “Quicksilver” and Alison didn’t know it existed, Adam says it’s the most 80’s movie that ever existed and now he’s breaking it down for her.

 

Steve has a killer description for “The Secret to My Success” and Adam is joking about people announcing “never again” and how it was a concept that only existed in 1980’s movies, in reality nobody does that.

Adam is bringing up Jamie Gertz and her role in the movie, Adam is telling them about his loft apartment.

Alison can’t believe she has a giant gaping Goatse in her 1980’s movie repertoire, Adam is telling them about Swayze’s work in “Steel Dawn” and how the chicks look in the movie.

 

Adam wants pictures of the super 1980’s hair from that movie, Adam calls back the hair curlers from earlier, gold!

Adam is now riffing about someone on set trying to straighten out the hair and the minds of their coworkers.

Steve is bringing up Road House, unaware that Adam has done a full length commentary on the film, he has riffed the movie into the ground, and no more funny can be mined.

 

Adam is now doing a plug for Aaron Foster after Alison wraps up the news, Adam is now working Gary into the live read and brings up how Gary had the man’s artwork years ago.

Gary is now on mic explains how he got it.

Adam is mocking the plot of Steel Dawn and the idea of setting a film after WWIII and how it will cause the end of denim.

 

Adam says that after World War III we would have an abundance of guns, not an absence.

Adam is doing a great riff mocking the movie and the clichéd concepts, Steve brings up the new Planet of the Apes.

Adam is assigning Alison the movie “Quicksilver” as homework and he’s breaking down the dueling ballet among the two.

 

Steve is bringing up “The Cutting Edge” and saying it’s very 1980’s but it’s from 1992, I think Alison almost stepped in to correct him but then just let it pass for sake of the show.

Adam is having them put in the bicycle ballet scene on YouTube, as they’re trying to wrap up, the closing theme has been piped down.

“You couldn’t say fuck the Jews on there” – Adam on the fake graffiti of 1980’s movies, the equivalent of “Kim + Steve” and they’re now watching the montage ballet sequence.

 

They’re now watching it and Adam is breaking it down beat by beat, Adam says it’s like when you see birds mating and mocks the “Berlin knock off song” and now Adam is riffing about the 1980’s headband and leg warmers look, gold!

Adam is killing this, everyone is jumping in and they’re destroying this scene, they need to do a basic Cable Commentary ASAP!

Adam is now wrapping up the show and giving out the plugs for Steve.