11 Jun Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 06/10/2015 – Dave Dameshek and Brian Offenther
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Dave Dameshek and Brian Offenther
Recorded 06-09-2015 – Release Date 06-10-2015
Production Number #1591
Adam is opening the show to a funny Bob Marley intro and he goes on a reggae rant right off the bat, mocking the repetitive lyrics of ‘Jammin’ and Adam mocks the comeback the song had, he presumed bob’s son did a variant version.
BB has two Ambien the night before and feels groggy, Adam is now launching into his take on the drug and jokes about things not actually expiring, he says BB should give him all of his expired drugs, he’ll activate it with a shot of booze.
Adam is talking about the Ambien he took that led to some phantom eating, he shares how he sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night ready to go.
BB is sharing how his monthly infusions work and why he took the Ambien, Adam says he had the unfortunate experience of sitting in the studio last night complaining about his proximity to free food and inability to eat it.
Adam took an Ambien or sleeping pill last night, he explains his wife is at Disneyland and shares how he was taking care of Molly while Lynette was gone, and Adam went to bed at 1115 to get some sleep.
Molly woke Adam up with the “paw” at about 3am, Adam jokes about Molly walking to Anaheim to see Lynette at the Disneyland Hotel.
Adam shares how he found himself pounding two the cupcakes, the first one was to just get sustenance and the 2nd one was due to the shame he felt from the first Sprinkles cupcake.
Adam explains how he didn’t feel good about doing this and rarely has this happen, he punished himself by going to bed without even rinsing his mouth out.
Dawson is now playing a new mashup of ‘Dream Weaver’ and the particularly explicit “pack” Mel Gibson rant.
Adam says nothing has more range than an intimate relationship, he compares his relationship with his dog, his kids and a hypothetical boss vs intimate relationships that go from asshole licking to wishing death on someone and threatening to hire someone to kill you.
Gina says she can’t see BB raising his voice or shouting in a relationship and Gina asks if BB is passive aggressive in refusing to not tell at his wife.
Adam is now doing a Castrol Live Read
Adam says the people he argues with need “intelligence molecules”
Q and Ace
1st Caller Chris, he wants to know if Adam has ever been caught masturbating, Adam is now saying that buying your wife an all-electric car is not the best idea for trying to beat off in peace.
Adam says that the electric cars didn’t exist when he was first laying out the tenants of Spunk Shui, Adam is suggesting the Tesla ring the home phone when the car is approaching to return to your residence.
Gina says that you hear when everyone’s coming where she lives and cites the blasting music, Adam says it’s been a long time since he’s been caught.
Adam is now making up a scenario from last night to please Chris, Adam says that now buying the wife a diesel hummer is part of the Spunk Shui.
Brian Offenther is now joining them making his ACS debut
Adam is asking him about his experience as the first DJ allowed to spin records in North Korea, he explains he lives in China and insisted upon getting a gig over there as payment for an event he worked previously in China.
Adam is now asking him about his experience there, he refutes Gina’s ideas and comments on the fake businesses and services that are said to be put on display for tourists and foreigners, part of the propaganda to cover up the reality of life in North Korea.
Brian is essentially saying it’s not as bad as you think, Gina might be more aware about reality over there even if half of her questions and comments from the previous episode he’s referencing sounded like stuff she saw in ‘The Interview’.
Adam is now asking him a series of questions and asks if life there is all they know, he says he’s not defending North Korea and Gina asks about the homeless people, he says he didn’t see any.
Brian is telling them about drinking in North Korea with some strangers he met.
Adam is asking him about the DJ’ing event and Brian defends his work, Adam jokes about playing them ‘Abracadabra’ by Steve Miller to make everyone kill themselves.
Brian describes all of North Korea as being trapped in the plot of ‘Footloose’ and Adam is now asking him about live in Shanghai.
Adam has him give out his plugs and wraps up the call.
Adam is doing a Life Lock Ultimate plus Live Read
2nd Caller Matt he’s calling for BB, he brings up a comment from a caller form about a month ago, the caller said “Adam Play Football!?” and wants to recreate it.
BB appreciates the reminder but explains that typically a magical drop gets saved because it cracks Adam up.
3rd Caller Gustavo, he’s no longer attracted to the woman he’s seeing and Adam is saying that guys are so into sex they can have sex with women they’re not attracted to and Gustavo reveals she’s his first.
BB shares the story of his own early relationship, Adam is now saying that “not feeling it” can’t be argued away nor criticized.
Gina shares how she feels about breakups and Adam is waxing poetic on “rites of passage” and says that he would prefer both of his kids suffer heartbreaks with their early loves and how important that is for building characters, the “gravity in life” that makes us become who we end up turning into.
Gina shares a personal anecdote and Adam talks about his stepmom and Ray shoving his shit in his ear.
4th Caller Jeff, he’s just finished Adam’s 4 1/2th book ‘Daddy Stop Talking’ and praises it, Jeff is telling them about going to use the urinal at his office where it was pretty clear someone had rubbed one out in the urinal.
Jeff says they found calcified Jizz on the urinal, Adam is joking about taking a sip off his tapioca and now Adam is commenting on the risky business of someone jacking off while pissing.
Adam is now making some notes to further revise his Spunk Shui and he’s telling Jeff to steer clear of this situation, Gina has some ideas but thinks HR might object.
Adam is now talking about giving blood and how looking away can make the pain far less, he says the emotional part removed from the process removes the pain.
Adam is doing a Draft Kings Live Read
They’re now heading to break
Dave Dameshek is now making his long awaited return to the ACS, this seems to be his 55th appearance on the show, they play a nice “Definitely Not a Jew” to welcome back the former KLSX cohost from 2006.
Dave remarks on meeting Gina for the first time despite them working together at a radio station 9 years ago.
He congratulates Bald and comments on his first pitch at a Padres game.
Adam is asking Gina about her hours at KLSX and she shares how they would “get high” around the show, Dave uses the term “burning tree” and tattles on Sam Phillips a former coworker.
Gina is now explaining how it was awkward to smoke weed around the same building she might run into her dad.
BB is doing some Fake Jack Silver and Adam now feels badly for Dave Dameshek and how Jack wanted him out from the word go, how they can now see it from afar.
Dave is now explaining how humans are able to get past the bizarre things in their life, Dave talks about the first days of college and it sounds terrifying.
Adam is saying that Jack claimed to do some audience testing and Dave is now updating him about the ham handed execution of the test.
They talk about Jack Silver having to work in sports radio and having no interest, he got his.
Dave is now lamenting being bumped from yesterday’s show for ‘Eddie Spaghetti” yesterday’s guest Sam, Adam admits the guest cracked him up.
Gary gets on mic to explain he offered him the spot of June 8th two weeks ago and he just got back to him the day before, the date was already booked.
Adam is now joking about how great ravioli is and how even the coworker of that previous caller Jeff could beat off into a ravioli and he’d enjoy it.
Adam says that anything can be in the ravioli and be good, Dave laments the inability got the Tortellini to match its ability to make any filing tasty.
Adam is now explaining how ravioli is always coming up a little short, even the smaller ones.
They talk about people stealing them from your order, Gina suggests a bowl of ravioli for the table, Dave is running with it and now they’re talking about the post show breakfasts at IHop where Dave would order off the menu using coded signals.
Dawson is now on mic and giving his observations, Adam is joking about being the best receiver of oral sex, Gina asks for specifics and he says it’s like Jordan’s game, can you really break down his skill into just simple stats.
Dave is now coming up with the #1 pasta after their intense gnocchi chat, he ranks it #3, Spaghetti #4 and #5 Linguini, Adam is done with angel hair.
Gina brings up bowtie pasta and they riff about it, Dave shares his hesitation at making a “dervish” joke after learning the meaning.
Dave is showering Adam with compliments and quickly wants him to rank his movies from #1 – #3 and he says that people like ‘The Hammer’ better than ‘Road Hard’ and he says that distance only helps.
Adam is now breaking down the documentary element and getting to the sports movie genre of ‘The Hammer’ and how ‘Road Hard’ trying to be a full comedy film causes it to be judged harsher.
Adam says everyone can pick apart a comedy, Adam says the people would say #1 The Hammer, #2 Road Hard and the Documentary is in its own category.
Dave wants to know if ‘The Hammer’ would rank Adam’s all-time top 50 movies, he’s unwilling to say that and cites its limitations.
BB is now asking Adam to rank his projects post ‘Crank Yankers’, Adam brings up the bizarre case of ‘The Adam Carolla Project’ and Adam shares how he goes off what people say.
Adam is explaining he will never even make the ballot for Emmy nominee for best host, Adam is now breaking down why he actually should be considered and how what he does is so rare.
Dave asks when Adam is going to join Max Kellerman and become a boxing commentator, Adam is sharing his reaction to ’50 Feet from Stardom’ and BB is emphatic about his love for that doc.
Adam is now breaking down his take on ‘American Sniper’ vs. ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ and shares Lynette’s reaction to both to prove his point.
Adam and BB are now arguing over the films, Adam is bringing up the people’s score vs. the top critics on Rotten Tomatoes, and Adam is saying he’s in tune with the people.
Adam is sharing his reaction the movie ‘Citizen Four’ and they all agree it was a snooze fest, Gina is now asking Adam about ‘Winning’ and Adam tells her it’s limited hope for future attention due to being rejected from festivals and cable sales deals.
Dave is ringing up Paul Newman’s body of work and breaks down his last roles with BB, he can’t conjure up the title ‘Nobody’s Fool’.
Adam is doing a Legal Zoom live read
Dave comes up with title and BB wants more pasta rankings.
Gina’s News
1st Story is on a 26yr old NYC man who was pulled over by officers who proclaimed his Christmas tree air freshener was obstructing his windshield.
Gina is playing the video of the young man being arrested, Gina is now having them play the clip.
Adam is talking about cops reacting to the camera, he says it’s going to take a generation or two of cops before they’ll be aware of the modern way phones work.
Gina has them listen closely as the officers plot to make up reasons to arrest the young man who is going to sue the city.
Adam is now talking about how cops should be able to back down to other cops, in an ideal world, they can risk looking weak. Adam takes it back to reggae music with an excellent mob mentality metaphor.
Dave is now sharing how some people think they can push back and challenge cops because of the cellphone and the ability to record officers.
Gina is now describing the insane footage from the pool party in Texas, she didn’t want to get to this story today but they’re now playing the video.
Adam is saying he’s moving to Canada, Gina has the latest update on the officer on her phone, he’s resigned since the video was released.
Adam is now referencing a “dervish” and explains that many young black males might not know that being told to lay on your stomach and go limp most likely won’t be met with you taking a boot to your face and it might be wrong, but for this moment in time do not resist.
Gina is sharing how this former officer is laying into some young black kids, Adam is sharing how cops are assholes and they like to put a knee into the small of someone’s back.
Dave has a point about how these cops aren’t now looking out after these recent news stories, Gina suggests the shoulder roll was an impromptu show off move because he knew he was on camera.
Adam and Dave are now riffing about movie shootout clichés between cops and criminals, Adam is saying cops can’t hit anything and never seem to wound anyone, Dave brings up the “shoot through the partner” move.
Adam brings up the bygone era of shooting a chandelier onto people.
2nd Story is on another lawsuit against Caitlyn Jenner for the accident she was involved in earlier in the year, Adam is now riffing about Caitlyn getting an insurance break and joking about him meeting with Flo the Progressive insurance character in the commercials they run.
Adam is now talking about the danger of people driving 8000lbs vehicles with lift kits and terrible stopping distance, Adam says it’s now illegal to fly a kite on a beach.
Adam says his enjoyment as a spectator watching other people’s kids fly kites, dogs run into the water and arrant titties on display at other people’s bonfires.
Adam is now getting to the danger of the large vehicles, Dave asks if Caitlyn would be sent to a men’s or women’s prison, Adam says he would tell them to bring it up with Bruce Jenner because that’s not me.
Adam is killing it as Caitlyn and jokes about not being able to ride a Skidoo (Seadoo) with his new vagina, he means the same vagina he’s always had.
Dave is now asking about Caitlyn’s progress in his transition, Adam was under the impression she already had the genital surgery and now Dave is quoting the interview Adam clearly didn’t watch, at least not in full.
Dave is sharing Caitlyn’s veracious appetite for vagina, they’re all missing that she could be doing the common transition of wanting to be involved with women, that doesn’t necessitate a penis.
Adam is saying he didn’t know the wiener was being kept, Adam is having everyone explains things to him, Gina and Gary are giving their take.
Adam is somehow baffled about this and Gina shares that Caitlyn Jenner still has her penis, Adam is trying to figure out the thought process at play.
Gina is now explaining the year long wait that most people take while transitioning, Adam jokes that’s just the surgeon not wanting to do the surgery.
Adam has a killer riff as Giuseppe his ancestor from the old country who demands the wiener be cut off or inverted as it were.
Adam has a killer Jodi Foster analogy and says some very kind things about her while making some fine points about the duality he embraces with his thinking that’s at play.
Gina is now challenging Adam and being very kind and humane, Adam is going back and forth with Gina and explains why the genitalia is on everyone’s mind.
Adam and Dawson were the only two people who thought Caitlyn was sans penis, Adam is saying he’s not part of the new world order where he’s going to call people the gender they identify as vs. bathroom usage.
Adam says he will call people what=every they prefer and respect their wishes, he really just is concerned about bathrooms.
Gina references ‘Orange is the New Black’ and Dawson gets back on mic to figure this shit out with Adam, Adam is now singing the praises of his late grandfather Lotzi.
Adam is now sharing the “water soluble lube” remembrance his grandmother had with him about his late grandpa, she had to go to the lube and turn the beautiful moment they had into that.
Adam is now doing a Squarespace Live Read
Adam and Gina have done a couple rounds of the “my children/my child” dramatic narcissist parents and he hits it once again, Adam is now asking about the surgery, is it impending? Off the table?
Adam is back to how people assume that the genital surgery is part of the transition, Dave says that he thinks Caitlyn will never get rid of it, Dawson says the big winner is Ryan Seacrest.
Gina is now sharing how this is important to her and Adam brings up the woman she just killed on the highway, Dave is all for it and brings up the individual narcissism in people who support equality.
Gina brings up the narcissism of the people who are not cool with this, Adam is the ultimate, he doesn’t give a shit what she wants and she doesn’t give a shit what Adam wants.
Gina wraps the news
Adam does a #LOTJ live read.
Dave remarks on Rich Hall in London and thinks that’s going to be a cool show, he asks Gina about her education and she reveals she of course is a college graduate.
Adam closes out the show to a funny drop of him talking about the duality of extremes in intimate relationships from earlier in the show.