Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 06/03/2014 – Jeff Dunham

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Jeff Dunham

Recorded 06-02-2014 – Release Date 06-03-2014

Production Number #1338

Show Page

Adam is opening the show with a standard intro and BB has a great “Meow Box” #TopDrop and now Adam is bringing up Jeff Dunham’s success and how it used to mystify him when he saw his DVD’s ranking higher than “The Hammer” on Amazon sales charts in 2008 and 2009.

Adam is bringing up Jeff’s helicopter enthusiasm and how they practice engine failure and counter rotation to stay sharp.

Alison is wondering if he brings anyone with him and now Adam is joking about how people react to homemade baked goods vs. homemade helicopters.

 

Adam is joking about Sonny vomiting, yakking, during the prime of Adam’s late night wine session.

Adam says they need a squeegee, there was tonnage, mopping will come one day, god willing, for now they must scoop chunks.

Adam is sharing his theory on how anything else that comes out of a person is A. not as bad as vomit B. their problem, vomit is the worst thing a person can do/emit and you must clean it for them.

 

Adam has a great shit in entry hall counter point and Alison has a funny Kevin Nealon wine glass callback.

Adam would like to watch a never ending reel of people trying to clean up their own vomit, Adam is bringing up full gravy boats and Alison wants to know about gravy boats coming out of your butt, is it worse, the same?

They’re all going in depth on shitting and vomiting, Adam says that the person who does the yacking is not cleaning up his own vomit 20% of the time.

 

Adam declares it the grossest one can produce that someone else must clean, they joke about what Sonny ate and Adam tells him he’s been juicing veggies.

Adam is now doing a live read for Boxed.com

 

Alison is telling them about taping an episode of @Midnight, she shares the various familiar faces she’s ran into at the taping.

Adam says he will eventually do the show and says it’s not happened because of the prep required that Adam doesn’t have time for, Alison is hesitant to spoil the illusion of the show.

Adam is making it safe place to be honest and sharing this is how all shows work except for the Adam Carolla Show, the anomaly.

 

Adam is now bringing up an exchange he had with Matt Fondiler today, he was greeted by hazelnut coffee mate, Adam is using angry quiet voice and building.

Adam is asking how Matt knows so much, Alison has a killer “tap it” joke and says that Matt then threw everyone under the bus trying to frame them for enjoying this bullshit.

Adam is letting Matt on air to give his take, he says they’ve been buying it for “years and years” and Adam says you’re not cushioning the blow telling him he’s thousands of dollars into this shit, and some things are legacy and need to be aborted, just like former staff.

 

Adam is killing it and going off, Alison is in the mix and Matt is joking about not having the quiet dignity to move the coffee mate to the back of the fridge.

Alison says Hazelnut is the worse of them, Gary argues the French Vanilla is the least altering of the flavored creamers.

Adam now has a hilarious pistol to the head homeless guy scenario for Gary where he must choose a creamer, Gary is killing it on mic.

 

Alison wants to know if Adam has a problem with flavored water, Adam says that’s basically “punch” and he prefers Perrier with lemon and flat water with lemon.

Adam says get distilled water for drinking if you want to enjoy it, he says its water at its purist.

“I feel like Wesley Snipes giving money to the Klan” – Adam on paying for flavored coffee creamer.

 

Adam is doing a live read for Pet Flow, he’s bringing up a scene he had with Molly and the “tough Paw” needed to get her to eat without her chicken breast topper.

Adam is going in depth on the difficulty to get and keep pet food on hand.

 

Q and Ace

1st Caller Jamie, she’s got some praise and a plug for Adam’s book “President Me” and he is offering autographed copies of NTBM for 10$.

She’s seeing her peer’s kids all over Facebook “graduating” from preschool and Kindergarten, Adam is now going off on tutors being shoved up coozes in response to the concept of “pre-k” education.

Adam wants to know what the kids are learning at that age, Ada tries to use Dawson to make a point and then switches to someone else, gold!

 

Adam is getting to the “socialized” excuse for Pre-K and the demands put upon parents at these places, Adam says if your kids doesn’t know or won’t remember you’re there, then it doesn’t fucking matter.

Adam is now sharing his list of rules for his kids 1. Don’t remember it at 16, don’t need to be there. 2. Hot blonde teacher from Florida affair with son, if they beat off to it, then it’s not a crime. 3.?

Adam is sharing how his grades worked and says that you should attend 2-3 graduations at most, the 6th grade not mattering much.

 

Adam is now joking about 14 year old girls being thrown into the same student body as Ray who was 18, he’s being quite graphic about the “not great plan” that was for those girls.

Alison is asking about boys only or girl’s only schools, she’s giving her mom’s intent to look into it and BB is sharing his firsthand experience.

Adam is agreeing when the opposite sex is present people kick the shit out of each other more, hormones and he’s delivering a great argument for equality.

Adam is now calling for orange jumpsuits for all, it’ll prepare them for the school to prison pipeline, and Alison is trying to remember the name of the crush that Natalia had a couple years back. Great joke mocking Bryan, Adam agrees with himself.

 

2nd Caller Ryan, he’s got two cars and one is similar to Adam’s Dooley truck, he wants to sell it before it hits 100k miles or invest into it and drive it into the ground.

Adam is now making a point about math and using Pizzas to make his point, 10.03 vs 9.99, he’s trying to break down the logic of pricing and how dumb humans work.

Adam is using the 100k barrier of as the “10 dollars” of the pizza pricing, Ryan tells him about the car more and Adam tells him to get rid of it when he finds out it’s not diesel.

 

Adam is now doing a live read for ManCrates.com

Adam thanks Vending 1 for setting them up with a vending machine, Adam explains how they got the free machine and says they have to unplug it over the weekend.

Adam has a great Mike August free gynecology joke, comedy gold!

 

3rd Caller Matt, he’s a huge fan and references “Fruit in the middle” and now Adam is explaining it and sharing the details of the argument with Jimmy Kimmel and Dag’s theme song.

Adam would love a never-ending loop of these types of first world arguments.

Matt says he’s never seen Adam on “First Take” and “Sports Nation”, Adam says he’s done the show a few times and now Adam is citing a favorite tweet about the “Pedoph-Isle” episode of Bill’s podcast where Adam had to use Bill’s portable phone from his driveway in 2007.

Adam was already podcasting The Adam Carolla Show in 2006 and already has that file on his personal copy of his archive that I keep, I’m his archivist.

 

Adam is bringing up their upcoming live show slate, he’s going in depth on the shows in Phoenix.

Adam is now bringing up a green room dilemma and the “couple more minutes” from the new breed of dude who can’t control his drunk mean girlfriend.

Alison is further trying to explain what feelings you have when people are in the green room space when you’re trying to get your head together and how you want to speak freely.

Adam is wrapping up the explanation about the green room and how people think he’s an asshole but he doesn’t care and they’re going to break and playing the DAG “Fruit in the Middle” song from Classic Loveline.

 

They’re back from break with Jeff Dunham making his ACE Debut, Adam is citing his almost 1 billion views on YouTube.

Adam is bringing up the Amazon DVD rankings and joking with Jeff about the “book mobile” and he’s telling them about the ventriloquism book he kept from the Library in his hometown, he even did the math and gave them an 8k dollar late fee.

Adam is now bringing up ticket sales in Los Angeles vs. on the road in Seattle, and he’s asking Jeff about his best cities on the road.

 

Jeff’s wife is now awkwardly entering the studio to help him with his info, she informs him that Tacoma Washington is his best city and he doesn’t know the worst.

Jeff is sharing his French twist on Achmed his character that he used on Malaysian radio to get around their strict rules.

Adam wants to know how long these oppressive governments think they can last with the internet in existence, Adam has a killer joke about them censoring artists and being proud of it.

 

Adam is bringing up Jeff’s Carcast episode and having him explain the auto rotation to the audience, the lay people who don’t get laid.

Jeff is going in depth on his passion for helicopters and how he trains to avoid disaster.

If you would like to hear Jeff’s Carcast episode, Jeff Dunham and The Batmobile.

 

Adam is giving his take on the auto rotation and why he’s so amazed by it, Jeff is further explaining how it benefits pilots to be prepared.

Jeff is now sharing the statistic on pilot error that causes most air disasters.

“You’re just like that black guy from Magnum P.I.” – Adam on black guys on TV going by their initials, from 1978-1991 and how it was quietly racist.

Adam is doing a Draft Kings Live read.

 

Alison’s News

1st Story Is on V Stiviano and the new video that has surfaced featuring her saying very racist things about black people, Adam is now giving his take on how this must be cemented in black people’s heads, that everyone is talking shit about them and racist.

Adam is saying this nullifies his point about racism and how these examples only shit on his take, Adam has a killer callback to Magnum P.I.

They’re now playing the clip.

Adam is asking about her ethnicity and has a great “half cunt” joke.

 

Jeff is now sharing an anecdote about trying to reverse the racist comedy and use jokes about white people.

Adam calls back T.C. again.

Adam is glad that people are now turning on her too, Alison is telling her about the attack she suffered by two white men while in NYC.

Adam is now using dogs on airplanes to make a point, Alison is asking Adam about doubting the veracity of this claim.

 

Adam is now taking it to the logical extreme and using Breathalyzer tests to make his point, he’s saying that if she was beaten by two white men she would have her face all over the media.

Alison is now asking the pertinent questions and Adam is joking about white men and their possible motivations to attack V.

Adam has a great Jeff Gillooly joke and BB is now playing Jeff for this riff, gold!

Adam says if he doesn’t see a picture he doesn’t buy this, BB has a Rihanna one liner that elicits a reacting from Alison and Adam.

 

2nd Story FAA is now considering flying drones for film production, Jeff says he’s been flying them for 30 years and he’s explaining how a GoPro and a remote control helicopter can get you a 15k helicopter shot.

Adam is telling Jeff about getting one done for this new movie Road Hard.

Jeff is now sharing the dangers of this approval, due to nonprofessionals operating it.

Jeff is sharing the real world danger for jet engines, he’s touching on Adam’s riff about the “rating” for engines and jet impellers.

 

Jeff is now telling them about a frozen turkey old wives tale, Adam has a talked about this before but he had the facts straight.

Alison explains that drones have been used for filming already and BB wants to know why beer makers have used them.

Adam is now asking Jeff about flying radio controlled copters vs. real ones, Adam is telling them about his turbine jet he had ONCE, the lost jet from 2000 where he had to recover it from someone’s yard.

 

3rd Story Is on a mysterious millionaire who is hiding cash across various cities, Alison is explaining the details.

Adam is sharing his view on luck and how he would assume he would never find it and wouldn’t waste time looking.

Adam is bringing up how people try to use his position in life to prove that he is lucky, Adam is explaining why he wouldn’t try.

 

Gary has details on a nearby location and what happened via time lapse photo, Adam is now saying that people have never postured about not caring about money more and spent all their free time money crazed trying to get more, same goes for food and being fat.

Adam is now getting to how someone could shut down a city with these types of events, he’s got a great Leona Helmsley “Anna’s a bad girl” analogy.

Adam is now joking about Chris Laxamana and getting him to run in place and rub his nipples before attending the Quayle Lodge and how that would make Adam a huge dickhead.

Adam says it would be great if for once this was a rich guy we all knew.

 

Adam is now doing a live read for Life Lock.

 

4th Story Is on a woman taping up fliers around town with pot attached, the wee fairy and Adam is joking about her being over 400lbs.

Alison is sharing her name and Adam brings up Charles Grodin once again, Adam jokes that Doug Benson tells her to reel it in on the weed.

Alison is now wrapping the news after a quick Stripper DJ bit.

 

Adam is now doing a live read for Prosper.com the peer to peer lending service.

Adam is giving out the plugs for his book and BB’s as well, he’s plugging Jeff Dunham’s work and upcoming shows.

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