20 May Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 05/16/2016 – Bryan Callen and Brendan Schaub
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Bryan Callen and Brendan Schaub
Recorded 05-15-2016 – Release Date 05-16-2016
Production Number #1822
Adam has a “tell the good folks about the good news” intro and BB has a killer #TopDrop from Bodhi Elfman, Adam is now going over their brunch where they discuss his need to get some sex on the side.
Adam is joking about “both agreed” coming from the woman in the relationship, he’s referencing how Bodhi could mingle with the actual college students while in junior college, Dawson is on mic confirming what Adam is saying.
Adam is using Lynette’s mug and he blames his late step grandfather Lotzi and his grandmother for them never allowing him to leave the house with an actual mug or branded Tupperware container.
Adam is now ranting about ceramic mugs and how to tell if one is microwave safe or not, Adam says he has many coffee mugs that are not really made to be drank from.
Adam says coffee mugs need to go straight or flare out, not inward where you have to tongue your coffee out of the rim.
Adam is sharing how he was left with limited mug options and he chose to go with Lynette’s super gay mug over the beehive mugs that BB thinks he might have inherited has some just like it.
Adam says he doesn’t know where 90% of his mugs came from, he does recognize the Ellen show branded one and Gary says he thinks he knows where the mugs came from, Gary says they got them from a guy who was doing coil pots next to Nick Offerman’s wood shop when they taped that epic ‘Ace On the House’ episode.
AOTH ‘We’ll Always Have Bunghole’
You can also watch the episode on YouTube. Nice memory pull from Gary!
Adam talks about their big tasting party for the new IPA and goes over his conversation with the brewer about their operation expanding and how they can dial in the water flavor to the beer mix to recreate the water of the Rocky Mountains or anywhere else.
Adam saw the wedge anchors for different vats, some had stainless steel and the other vats had some rusted out other metal ones.
Adam says the brewer told him he was the only person on earth to notice it and he was pissed about the contractor using the other metal instead of the stainless steel variant.
BB says he left a few minutes after Adam arrived and Adam says they ran dry of the IPA and the traffic was insane, Adam proclaimed to Mike August “when did Saturday become the worst traffic day in Los Angeles’ and Adam says he watched the latest documentary for the likely 2nd to last time before picture lock.
Gina apologizes for not showing up and says she went to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery to screen ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’ and she reveals it doesn’t hold up.
Adam says he never gets caught up in people missing his events, he’s fine with someone having something better to do or a prescient commitment.
Adam says he never doesn’t show up because he hates a person, he says it’s cool if Gina doesn’t show up and then delivers a killer joke at BB’s expense.
Adam is doing a Carbonite Live Read
“Continually” mispronunciation edition
BB has a new Rich Banks song based on Adam’s rants about Olvera Street and they all hear it for the first time, ‘Honky Avenue’ to the tune of ‘Electric Avenue’ and Adam says they need to rotate the Rich Banks song around and play them more often as Rich and Mike put so much work into each one and sometimes they just only get played once and forgotten.
Adam is talking about the junk being sold on Olvera Street, Adam is explaining they had the school open house on Thursday night and he says the job you want is fireman, you work 3 days per week and they often have a nice secondary career, hilarious riff about firemen committing arson.
Adam says always pick fireman over cop and you’ll get all the same benefits and none of the ire of the populace.
Adam says the teacher’s union was out front trying to get a raise for the employees and Adam jokes about them having a lot of balls to ask for a raise before a break.
Adam is now commenting on what being a teacher means for a person’s life, it’s a choice off the treadmill of life, he makes exceptions for some teachers but says most teachers aren’t heroes just like most firemen aren’t heroes either.
Adam shares how teachers really work, he says if they have to come in for an evening meetings then they’re knocking off at noon that day, they never work more than 8hrs per day.
Adam just doesn’t give a shit, the biggest part of life is how you are in the room, not education and he shares how he’s hired a lot of people based on how they are in the room.
Adam says he’s not that interested in his kids hitting a home run in this very first part of life that doesn’t really count towards your permanent record.
Adam would rather his kids be comfortable in their own skin and have that “it factor” and he compares his kids to a super young and bright Jimmy Kimmel.
BB asks how kids should develop the grit and self-discipline when they’re not getting it from schoolwork.
Gina says she was a terrible student and she loved the arts, she ignored the things that were out of her field of interest, no common core for Gina.
Adam is contrasting his kids projects vs. the other kids and how they looked like crap in comparison, at least they know the kids did these on their own, Adam says the other dad told him how he was burning reams of paper to perfect her display.
Adam says in Sonny’s classroom it was a lot of architectural drawings and Adam says some of them were pretty good, especially for 9yr olds and he shares what his son’s bizarre plan looked like.
Adam is recounting the bizarre drawing and how Sonny’s floorplan was missing from the wall, he didn’t care nor did Sonny.
Adam says he listened to Graham Parker with his son on the way home from the brewery, and Sonny announced that he loved every song.
Adam is doing a Life Lock Live Read with Gina
The Common thief is working smarter too edition
Q and Ace
1st Caller Jay, he moved into a house a few months ago and now have been left with huge holes by the contractors they hired to help stop a leak from the 2nd floor.
Adam is explaining how dangerous these leaks can be and Jay wants to know about blowing out the shower pan, Adam is describing what shower pans are and how old the technology is.
Adam is bringing up “Bitchathane” (Bituthene) alternatives to tar hot mopping for shower pans, he then riffs about it being a great name for a black woman.
Adam is now plugging his live dates and he once again teases the arrival of today’s guests as they enter the studio for their 3rd appearance as a duo.
They were first on ACS #1309 and then back again in December of last year for ACS #1725.
They’re plugging their live tour for The Fighter and the Kid their hit podcast, Bryan is kissing ass while explaining how they like to keep the audience laughing for their live shows and why they’re different than the podcast format.
Adam is asking them about the reoccurring bits then can do live since they don’t podcast the shows, Adam is mentioning some dates and they riff about doing shows on Tuesday nights.
Brendan is sharing how he performs standup at the top of the shows and he how feels about his performance.
Adam is bringing up the heavyweight division of the UFC and how all over the road it is, he riffs about the gloves and has a killer reference to driving gloves.
Brendan is explaining how the margin of error in the heavyweight divisions makes it a very scary experience.
Adam brings up Stipe Miocic and Brendan explains why he didn’t get the title shot sooner, funny mention of LeBron James that leads to a funny thought from Adam.
Bryan asks why there aren’t any young monster heavyweight fighters in the UFC.
Brendan makes a point about greatened money and why athletes will pick the NFL or the NBA, Adam is mentioning the Shaq and Magic ’30 For 30’ where there were 100 million dollar contracts being thrown around in the mid 1990’s.
Brendan says that LeBron signed a lifetime 1-Billion-dollar deal with Nike, he contrasts that to the UFC Reebok deal and Adam is sharing his thoughts about LeBron and how he promoted the tattoo industry for black men.
Adam is now offering up a theory that more black guys rock tattoos in professional sports than white guys or light skinned guys like Steph Curry.
Bryan asks Adam about tattoos and he shares his theory about it being a waste of time and money, Bryan shares is own uncertainty for a tattoo.
Brendan has a funny reply about tattoo artists not beating down the door for Bryan.
Bryan shares how his daughter is not as photogenic as his son and he will search for the right photo to present to people, Brendan is bragging about his giant newborn son.
Adam is now talking about headgear in boxing and the unintended circumstances of them much like helmets in the NFL and how it makes people more casual about getting punched, he says it’s like the modern era of crumple zones and airbags vs. the olden days of rusty metal dash boards waiting to puncture your sternum.
Bryan is now talking about his boxing training and getting hit, Brendan shares how his coaches recommended him train without the head gear to get his face used to hits so it would swell less.
Adam is now sharing his “moose semen” airbag theory for improving driving among Americans, Bryan theorizes they would pasteurize the semen and Adam now suggests a Prussian helmet instead of the jizz, how much safer would people drive.
Adam is doing a True Car Live Read
Drew wanted used cars, now he’s got them edition
Gina’s News
Gary has the Moose Semen idea as presented in Adam’s book ‘President Me’ and Gary reads it for the guests and the gang.
Bryan is agreeing with the idea and shares some research about driving without road signs, Adam says people take it as slight against the races that don’t drive well but there is a science behind it.
Adam says it’s like Greece kicking our asses in soccer, they were raised with the game, Adam is now sharing his first generation motorist theory.
Adam is explaining that people were driving here in this country since cars existed, he’s now asking for some photos from the open house at school and first gets some pics of his wife and kids from the flag football games.
Brendan is mocking Adam for his kid playing flag football and he shares his “being a pussy is a lifetime sentence” adage and Adam jokes about Bryan wrestling with his sexuality.
Bryan is quoting an article and he makes a point about limitations and Adam says it’s reality on reality’s terms, sports are the ultimate “proof” of where you stand.
Adam says Dr. Drew is staring through the glass and Adam is making another point about unintended consequences and he asks about the unintended consequences of protecting our kids from every possible danger and turning them into a gelatinous glops of pussy shit.
Adam is ranting up a storm and he makes a point about diving boards being outlawed as he explains how it must go down in modern construction, he gets to the Baja Shelf that’s replaced the diving board and how that’s all you need to know about society.
Brendan suggests a Spartan method of kicking kids out at children to make them into men.
Bryan is blowing hard about men in history who put their body on the line for glory and he says the juice is worth the squeeze, Brendan doesn’t’ trust any guys with smooth hands.
Adam tells Brendan to be prepared to orgasm after he looks at his fucked up knuckle and palm, he mentions holding focus pads and Bryan recalls him holding them for him.
Gina is now describing the photos of his kids open house projects, Adam is riffing about the project and the two possible ways you could read into it.
Brendan just has some disapproving whiff noises and Adam says Drew is vomiting into his own mouth seeing these from outside the studio.
Adam says these kids are all 9yrs old and he shows Brendan and Bryan his kids insane drawing, “dude no way!” – Brendan before he tells Adam that his son “drew hell” and Bryan is saying this is a side view of a digestive track.
Adam wants to contrast his son’s drawing against another kids drawing.
Adam is doing a Max Control Round Up Live Read
They’re looking at the other kids drawing and Brendan is complimenting it, saying the kid seems stable.
Adam has a killer description of his son’s drawing, BB says it looks like the kids were doing different assignments.
Adam jokes about a neighbor girl going missing and them coming looking for Sonny due to his “Body Blood House” and they move on to the news.
1st Story is on the latest Powerball winners; Gina has a clip of one of the winners explaining how she reacted to the news.
Adam says he would love to know how many fucking Jews take part in state sponsored gambling of lottery, Brendan brings up the stats of lottery winners ending up broke and Adam says it’s all of this “luck” talk.
Adam says he doesn’t think luck actually exists, he thinks random events happen, you can get hit by a trolley car tomorrow, these random events segregate non randomly.
“if you ain’t lucky… then what should I just kill myself” – Adam
Adam is mocking luck and the use of that term by people trying to get one over on the middle class, like politicians.
Adam asks why everyone needs to be rich, why should that be the goal for everyone to be super wealthy.
Bryan is now commenting on how society needs to reward people for success and he goes off on how it doesn’t do anyone a service to “even the playing field” for them.
Bryan talks about charity and how you can help others in a real way.
Gina wraps the news and Adam gives a PodcastOne Live Read.
Gina was on The Koy Pond Episode #17 and says it was a ton of fun, Adam plugs Jo’s show.
Adman is now plugging TFATK.com, the podcast and live dates.
BB closes the show to a “head trauma gives you character man, look at us, yeah look at us” drop of Adam and Brendan.