Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 05/15/2014 – Christopher Titus and Matt Atchity

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Christopher Titus and Matt Atchity

Recorded 05-14-2014 – Release Date 05-15-2014

Production Number #1326

Show Page

Adam is opening the show with Matt Atchity in studio, Adam is sharing the tales of his trek to NYC with Matt Fondiler, including an interaction with a waiter who unknowingly retread the “Just chillin’?” hospital security guard interaction.

He’s thanking the fans for all of the support and updating on the recent “I turned my friend/family etc. on to the podcast” comments he’s been getting with each live appearance.

Adam is telling the gang about Matt as his travel companion, filling in for Mike August, Adam is asking Matt about the trip, he’s talking about their romantic dinner at Del Frisco’s Steakhouse.

 

Adam is going in depth on the waiter who gave him a “hey man show, what are you up to” Adam says it’s akin to asking a fat lady when she’s due and BB has an additional one, mentioning events you’re going to but the other person isn’t invited.

Adam is bringing up the TMZ encounter he and Matt ran into at LAX, they’re saying that the camera guy followed them all the way to security, they don’t mention that they ran into Shidan Towfiq aka “Funky Soul patch” himself from Ace On The House.

Adam is getting to the regulations at the airport and how he doesn’t understand that they can get away with filming there, he’s also joking about the autograph seekers in places like Minnesota, saying that if they were just big fans they were playing it awfully close to the vest.

 

Adam is now calling for more regulations at the airport, he’s making some great points and BB has a freedom of the press counterpoint.

They’re now playing the laugh heavy TMZ recording.

Adam is mocking town car drivers, the “slowest motherfuckers on the planet” with Lady Gage blaring at 5am, Adam wanted some classical and the driver wanted to know if he meant “classic news” which isn’t really a thing.

 

Adam is now riffing the idea of classic news with Matt, BB and Alison.

Adam is saying that he would definitely listen to that station, oddly enough back on the KLSX Adam Carolla Show they almost did a “dated” episode that took place in the 1980’s, Adam does seem to like that concept.

Adam says they ended up listening to “angry piano” all the way to the airport, Adam compliment Matt and he’s sharing the difficulties in pulling off the August routine.

 

Matt shares that he asked August how he does it, Adam is now getting to the voter ID bit from “President Me” that everyone is bringing up during interviews.

Adam is pointing out all the places he was required to have ID and how ludicrous it is that it’s not required for voting.

Adam is getting to the positive reason for ID, why it helps people move upward in life.

 

Alison is asking why it’s coming up so much, wondering if it’s been politicized, Adam is sharing his “well hmmm, hhhhhuh” reaction to people asking if he believes his part about a recent paystub also required for voting.

Once again he has perfect logic.

Adam is now getting to the hotel check in process and how the woman behind the counter had already started checking in Matt, Adam asked if he could go first as he was tired and had a 7am call time for Stern.

 

Adam is explaining how Matt was smart and asked about the rooms, to make sure that Adam didn’t get stuck with the shitty small room.

Adam was in the “executive tower” which was about half the size of Matt’s standard room, Adam is mocking “The W” and explaining the difference between it and the Hilton chain.

Adam is getting to how he immediately called Matt and asked about his room size, funny “don’t beat off” comedy.

You should be able to see the pics of both rooms via the show page link above, Adam has a message to the cunt behind the counter at the Hilton.

 

Adam describes her as “Eastern bloc tough” and uses a classic image of a gymnast from Russia grunting against a balance beam to paint the picture, Adam is calling for a picture of Olga Korbut.

Adam has a killer description of Russian men and their vodka scent.

“Here’s a nice dollop of cuntitude to take with you to your small room” – Adam on the attitude upon checking into a hotel, Matt says he’s surprised about how Adam wasn’t kissing her ass, stating they have more power than you think.

Adam is now doing a live read for Draft Kings.

 

Adam is now telling Gary what images will do, that it’s not necessary to show him anything else.

Adam is now setting up the clip of DAG on ESPN talking about how his most popular bit his “Teddy Pendergrass” once again confirming what DAG once said about his most popular and creatively fulfilling comedic work has been on air with Adam Carolla since 1998.

They’re now playing the clip of DAG.

 

 

 

Rotten or Fresh – Bryan Cranston movies edition, Matt mixes up Adam’s request to tease the theme.

Adam is now doing a live read for Blue Apron.

 

1st Movie Contagion (2011), Adam is wanting to know if this is the Dustin Hoffman one and jokes about 1997 and the release of “Volcano” and “Dante’s Inferno.”

Matt is explaining the plot and cast to the gang.

They’re all shocked by the 84%

 

2nd Movie the Lincoln Lawyer (2011)

Adam doesn’t know the plot and Alison jokes about Matt using an author’s name to try to help Adam understand the concept.

 

3rd Movie John Carter (2012)

“Is that one of those movies where (some guy) he’s in the fucking future but he’s wearing his underpants and fighting with a slingshot?”

Adam is now mocking the concept of these movies, a dude in sandals fighting a Cyclops and Adam is now getting to the title.

Matt is doing a solid job trying to explain the original title and they’re all now weighing in.

 

4th Movie Total Recall (2012)

Adam says it’s ironic that Alison couldn’t recall the title almost immediately after hearing it.

 

5th Movie Argo (2012)

Adam says he would take “The Town” over Argo any day but thinks it’s a good movie, he just prefers former.

They’re wrapping up the game with “the universe correcting itself” – Adam

Adam is bringing up a shitty 1980’s movie he watched and saw an over 90% score on Rotten Tomatoes and was thrown for a loop.

 

Adam is forced to scrape his brain, he’s trying to recall what it was and says it could’ve been a Rob Lowe movie and clarifies his stance on the original “About Last Night” and he’s stumbling towards the movie.

Adam doesn’t know if it’s “Oxford Blues” and is still trying to pull the title.

 

Q and Ace

1st Caller Jason, he wants to know who Adam would want to face in a charity celebrity boxing match, Adam is emphatic “Kirk Douglas” and Matt takes about 1min to get the joke

Nice callback to Adam fucking Lee Marvin, nice pull A-Rose!

 

2nd Caller Mike he read an article with Hall and Oates going over their catalog and found out that “Maneater” was a metaphor for New York City.

Adam is telling him why it doesn’t matter, he’s got a great analogy for Hitler saying the Holocaust was a metaphor and he’s got an even funnier wide cock joke.

Adam is now telling them about flying home and using his “Walkman” or his “little itunesy thing” and Gary gets on mice to explain that it was an IPod Nano.

Adam is getting to the low battery alert and his standard gripe about the battery being used to warn him 30 times, he says there should be an easy switch to flick it and turn off the low battery alerts.

 

Adam is explaining that a guy came up to him after the show and told him how much he enjoyed “The Jayhawks” song used in Adam’s movie “The Hammer” and Adam says that they brought joy in the world and Hall and Oates brought the opposite.

BB is doing some great Fake Jack Silver while reminiscing about payola and cocaine sacks.

Adam is going over the movie titles that aired on Friday or Saturday, poor Gary.

 

Adam is now doing a live read for Dollar Shave Club.

They’re now playing “Blue” by The Jayhawks and Adam is reading how high it charted in each region.

 

3rd Caller Adam, wants Adam’s take on Jon Stewart’s most recent Daily show with a doctor who basically confirmed Adam’s theory on overuse of antibiotics and Purell.

Adam says he’s done, nobody fucking listens and he can’t make them do what’s right and smart, Adam has given up.

Adam says he was interviewed about his feelings on masculinity and femininity and how it’s based off nature and science, have a boy and a girl and see what fucking happens.

 

Adam says this is why he eats rejected cashews spit on tarmacs by pigeons, Adam is now bringing up crazy whitey and the tendencies towards allergies, and he’s contrasting that to his Hispanic coworkers who seem to have no food allergies.

Alison is now bringing up the original study on gluten allergies and she’s bring up Nocebo’s in contrast to Placebo’s.

Adam is now taking it back to the 19 day film shoot with a strange shiver noise, like a victim recalling a PTSD inducing scenario.

 

Adam is bringing up the French vanilla creamer used on set, the milk would run out every day and Adam actually threw out the French Vanilla flavored one into the trash.

Adam is killing it about Passion fruit jizzing into his tea and ruining his life, omg this is Ace Awards 2014 material, quick but gold!

Mike Altier is now on mic confirming everything Adam is saying and sharing his experiences on set.

 

Adam is now taking it to his house and how they’re never out of the mix that the person who buys the groceries likes but were out of milk.

Adam is now having Mike estimate how many people were on set, BB is explaining that they bring those artificial creamers because they don’t have to be refrigerated and Adam reminds him they have a plain version.

Adam is now bringing up the other problem they had every day, BB is asking if it was Adam terrorizing everyone on set, Adam has a great point about him needing coffee and if he can’t get one than nobody should.

 

Adam is now going off on the veggie burritos and vegetarian people like me, who fuck everyone else’s shit up.

Adam is ranting about the abundance of meat burritos, Adam has a great “that’s your choice douche” line about people with strict eating habits.

Adam is bringing up the makeup and hair chicks who were the only two vegetarians on set, Alison confirms that they were gluten free too.

 

Adam wants them to wear an orange windbreaker and jokes about branding them with a keloid scar, Adam says that 20 breakfast burritos on day 1 does not make a caterer stupid, on day 19, that makes you stupid.

Adam is now doing a live read for Go to Meeting.

They’re heading to break with a nice plug for the excellent episode of Alison Rosen is your New Best Friend with guest Matt Atchity.

 

They’re now back from break with a non-timely plug for the eBay auction for “President Me” and Adam reveals that he had to give the lawyer a couple hundred thousand dollars, he’s teasing a possible meeting with some high ranking official in Washington D.C.

Christopher Titus is now in studio pledging 2k toward the defense fund, he’s wisely stating that it’s bullshit and clearly a scam.

 

Adam is getting to the legal cash furnace he’s now fueling for this case and how August told him it will be 100k per month for the next several months.

Great Walkman callback, Christopher is now telling them about how proud he is of Adam for bitching about veggie burritos.

Adam is telling them about an interaction off air with Gary about the vending machine that’s been loaded wrong, Adam wants it to stay that way.

 

Adam reveals that Mike August met a vending machine dealer while on a flight and what that means for someone, if they have a job and are seated next to them on a plane.

BB says it all makes sense, Adam tells the “Tallyram” story to make a point about life.

 

Christopher is telling him that they’ll finally be filming “Special Unit” a decade in the making and a non-picked up Showtime pilot later, this is awesome, and Titus first talked about this on Loveline in 2005.

Christopher is complimenting Adam’s acting range and Adam is trying to explain how he would prefer to shoot in order, Titus is telling him about the actual job of the script supervisor and pre-production.

Christopher is using some great sarcasm and is lamenting not being hired for the movie, hilarious spit take/choke reaction from Titus.

 

“Listen Dana Gould was only in it twice” – Adam to Titus about not being asked to be in the movie, I agree Titus, I agree.

Adam is getting to the “emotional continuity” that one must be mindful of before shooting and Titus shares his technique.

Adam is asking him about his shoot and Adam is certain they’ll have to go back and pick up some shots, Titus is sharing how they’re doing the movie super independent and has a great one liner about not being able to paralyze a guy twice.

 

Titus is thanking Adam for showing him how to book theaters without using an agent or having to cut 10% to anyone else, Adam asks for a taste, some beak wetting.

Alison is now asking Titus about his live theater tour, he’s telling them about the most recent stop in Detroit, and Adam has a killer one liner about someone trying to sneak into Detroit, asking Titus incredulously.

Adam is now doing a live read for Nature Box.

 

Alison’s News

1st Story is on the Jay-Z and Solange Knowles elevator security footage.

Adam hasn’t heard of this, she’s filling them in and Titus is explaining “douchebag credits” in response to Adam mentioning the Alec Baldwin arrest.

Alison is having them play the video and Titus is now using his “black “voice to give voice to the video, Titus is praising his self-control.

Adam says it’s as uncomfortable a ride as the time he, Mike Lynch and Mike August were in the elevator with a 6’5 douchebag who called them pussies for not having dip, the Atlantic City elevator tale.

 

Adam has a great idea for what he would like to do to the people who say “its tough being in Beyoncé’s shadow isn’t it” predicting the media response without even being aware of the story.

Adam wants to give a pine tar broken glass forearm shiver to the people who say that and has some examples of actual shitty siblings.

Titus is now sharing a story of his father’s funeral and how his uncle confessed to a felony while giving a eulogy.

 

Titus is telling them about telling the story in Utah but not inviting his uncle, BB has a funny “Hello Christopher” ominous quip and nicely timed lighting strike drop.

Titus is sharing his wife’s reaction to his uncle’s appearance and demand to get him to clarify the story, Adam has a funny callback to his wife’s attraction to his uncle.

Alison is explaining how the hotel has promised to fire any employee discovered to have leaked the security footage, Adam says if you’re going to duke it out on public property it’s kind of on you.

 

 

 

2nd Story Is on Alec Baldwin’s arrest for riding his bicycle against the flow of traffic, Alison is explaining the nature of his two summons and his arrest.

Alison is quoting Alec’s awesome quote about his tax money, she’s now quoting his tweets, and this is gold!

Christopher Titus has a nice reaction to Alec’s words and behavior, Adam loves it and says he’s with him 1000% and sharing how he was just going off on the pussy LAPD on his recent media tour.

 

Adam is now getting to how you shouldn’t be scared of the cops if you pay their salary, only if you’re a criminal and he tells them to “suck their own cocks” because he doesn’t fucking care, this is wonderful!

Adam is explaining how quarterly taxes work and how much of a rub it is when cops don’t show up for a serious matter but then are Johnny on the spot for something as benign as bicycle riding.

Adam says fuck that, he says Alec should get a platinum card and he’s explaining the limits, no bank robbing or elderly raping but it does let you avoid being arrested for being a on a bicycle.

 

Adam says Alec is alive in the wrong time, he would have died in a duel at a much younger age and he’s waxing poetic on Alec’s old-school nature.

Christopher wants to know if it’s ok to be douchey because you have money, Adam says yes, then clarifies not because you have cash, because you pay a fortune in taxes.

Christopher is now sharing an anecdote of being pulled over, he says he used his phone to write down what was happening and the guy called him an asshole.

 

Adam agrees that Christopher’s story is horrible and he’s sharing his advice on being respectful, in order to bullshit and attempt to get out of a ticket of course.

Adam says guys on bicycles should get a pass anyway due to the need and interest we have in people commuting with green technologies.

Adam is now discussing how the government runs with Titus, Adam is comparing his taxes paid in vs. his mom’s and the time the drunk driver crashed into his house and the cops never showed up.

 

Titus is taking it back to his story, Adam has a killer riff about his wife and BB has an even funnier line about his uncle, holy shit BB!

Adam is giving out some plugs, he’s asking BB about his book on the NYT bestsellers list, he wants to know what place, he’s clarifying he’s not being a dick.

Christopher labels this a “competitive probing” as Adam says he needs to beat BB to keep his ego in check, funny stuff.

 

3rd Story Is on the draft of Michael Sam and the footage of him kissing his boyfriend.

Adam is giving his take on where he ended up, Titus is now giving his take and they both agree he ended up about where he should.

Titus has a questionable use of “ass tearing monster” that Alison has a great reaction to.

Adam is explaining that everyone he knew was cool with him getting drafted and almost proud of not having their panties in a bunch, Adam is sharing his take on Hilary Clinton and her odds for the presidency.

 

Adam is getting to how he believes we are in a new era where homophobia and racism won’t fly, he’s joking about the gay mafia and Christopher Titus brings Gavin Newsom into the mix.

Adam has a killer “Man Juice” explanation for the power of gay people in society and media.

“If you soul craves fire but you never set a fire I don’t care” – Adam on his racist/arsonist who never burns something analogy.

 

Alison wants to know about the reactions, she’s reading a quote from a tweet about the kiss.

Alison is now wrapping up the news and Adam is commenting on how gay Otis Sistrunk looked in the photo that Gary pulled up, Titus is now doing his black guy voice once again.

 

Adam is doing a live read for Stamp.com

Adam says Chris Titus and Christopher corrects him, this has been happening since the first 2min of Christopher’s first loveline on May 15th 2000, 14 years of name correcting yet Adam still loves him and he still guests on the show.

Titus is great, Adam is giving out the plugs and wrapping up the show with a funny “fuck Matt” line aimed at Atchity, just being silly about him not having live show dates when he quasi misspoke during the plugs.

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