14 May Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 05/07/2015 – Brad Williams and Kira Soltanovich, Live at The Irvine Improv
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Brad Williams and Kira Soltanovich, Live at The Irvine Improv
Recorded 05-06-2015 – Release Date 05-07-2015
Production Number #1570
Dawson has an intro themes around Kira’s last name, she’s back for her 3rd appearance she was previously on during the “Newsgirl try outs” for ACS #1505 and ACS #1506.
Brad Williams is back for what must be closing in on his 20th appearance by now, they’re joking about Dolph Lundgren after Adam misidentifies the “Noooo!” drop from Brad Williams.
Adam jokes about how he would react to BB sucking cock all night with a random dude vs. with Dolph, Adam teases a video of BB’s neighbor.
Adam is telling them about going to Riverside for ‘Catch a Contractor’ and explains the “everything is relative” element of his life, using poor people with flat screen TV’s to make his point.
Adam is bringing up his family who are always asleep and comfy while he’s waking up and getting ready for a long day.
Adam is now pitching the idea of a “Sleep Buddy” and fleshes out the idea, he doesn’t want it all the time but just during his rough patches of hard work and long hours.
Adam is now describing the sleep buddy who is tasked with waking up alongside him and his bitching about his life and shitty day ahead of him will then make Adam feel better about his schedule.
Adam is now suggesting Danny DeVito, then Pauly Walnuts from ‘The Sopranos’ and even mentions Ralph Kramden, Kira clarifies the open robe element.
Brad is telling them about his buddy’s pit bull that attacked him and started dragging him away.
Adam is now giving advice to people who have “douchey dogs” and asking why it’s so important for people that you break bread with their dog.
Adam has a killer Daryl Gates reference while talking about bullet proof screen doors and other protective housing additions.
Adam is back to his time working construction and dealing with dogs on job sites.
Kira is telling them about a friend who had a dog that would “pap smear” the various girls who came over to her house, she’ s riffing about inappropriate it was.
Adam asks if you want the strange guy in your house making friends with your dog, someone from the crowd says yes and Adam explains the possible dangers of a stranger befriending your dog then exploiting that relationship to come back and rob you.
Adam is asking Kira about her pregnancy, very funny riffing between them.
Brad is now joking about cage fighting her baby when it’s born, Adam gets a dig in for the Pacquiáo fight.
Adam is joking about the fertility campaign he led with his wife, asking Kira about her experience and she jokes it was just the tip, she’s on fire.
Adam is asking BB if he’s going to go the Adam route and now Adam is asking BB about storing his Jizz and how it’s only 400$ a year to store it.
BB has a solid cartoon reference.
Q and Ace
1st Vanessa of Azusa, she has what she calls a “step-dog” and comments on her white boyfriend, they’re all riffing about him not being really white and the ethnic makeup of the citizens in Azusa.
Adam is riffing about memorials on the back of automobiles, Gina has a killer one liner.
Adam is back to the problem of Vanessa, it’s her uncle that’s freeloading with the dog in a trailer on her property.
Adam is now offering to come bring his Dooley truck over and attach his trailer and drive him away, hilarious line from Adam about fucking him.
Adam is now asking about his living situation, they’re all mocking the idea of him moving into a trailer after breaking up with his girlfriend.
They all turn on Vanessa after learning he’s not bothering her in anyway, Adam says you’ve really assimilated when you’ve learned to hate your own family, hilarious!
Adam is telling black folk to stop loving their mothers and move on and get successful like all the white guys he knows who hate their mothers.
2nd Josette from Wales, she couldn’t think of a question and now BB reads her fake question, asking about Adam’s favorite childhood memory, he cites all of the times he did things with other people’s families over the years.
Adam jokes about trying to eliminate any happy memories of his childhood, Brad sets him up for his stories about playing high school football.
Adam is telling the story of Bauer and how he did a roll block and took two guys out to protect him for a touchdown, he says his dad was at the game and was sitting on his folding beach chair, his dad got up and tried to celebrate with him, Adam gave him the high hat and pissed him off, interesting.
3rd David, Adam jokes about his question telling him where the closest AA meeting is, they get to his actual question and are about to move on before he returns to the mic, Adam now feels high when they hear him speak. They move on.
Blah Blah Blog
1st Blog Yoko Ono, Iggy Pop or Keith Richards
Brad mocks the audience member lady who continues to yell out and how she’s trying to ruin the show like Yoko ruined The Beatles.
Adam is riffing about Iggy finally discovering shirts in 80s.
Adam is now riffing about Iggy showing up shirtless to funerals, funny one side’s reenactment of Iggy’s pal trying to strongly hint about recommended nipple covering attire.
Adam is now asking if they could just give Yoko to Wales, like how we rent pandas from China, put her in a no talent zoo and he wants to take her back to Japan and let her go free, he’s comparing her arrival in the states to Pearl Harbor.
Adam is now back to the Panda topic, he’s telling them about how he saw a 60 minutes on the pandas we import from China, he’s now suggesting we bootleg pandas and tell China to fuck off as they pirate all of our content and goods without repercussions.
Kira has a killer “knock off” one liner that Brad even stops the show to marvel at, Adam jokes that she rehearsed it backstage.
Adam has a funny Jeff and Sally the American pandas example, Adam is now riffing about pandas not being into fucking and how every other species can’t be stopped from fucking.
Adam is now joking about horse fucking and Brad rolls with it, Adam is sharing his panda cums on the tits bit about what he would do as a panda in captivity, to really piss off the scientists observing them.
Adam says we love Pandas as they sit like humans do, Kira is telling them about her experience at the San Diego Zoo and how she was disciplined for anthropomorphizing the animals.
Kira quotes her “12 inch tongue” example she would use while giving tours.
Adam is telling people who work with animals that we don’t eat people, so you should want us to relate to animals that way if you truly care about protecting them.
Adam explains his son’s favorite exhibit is the reptile area, Adam is now riffing about the reptiles blending in with their backgrounds, and hilarious tree snake hand fed crickets by a lesbian one liner.
Kira is riffing with Adam excellently, Brad has a funny “different kind of snake” line and they’re further riffing about jacking off in the reptile house.
BB takes it back to the game, the answer was Yoko.
2nd Blog Mia Farrow, Candy Spelling or Bethenny Frankel
Adam ask if the author might eat a bullet so he doesn’t have to waste his time with this bullshit, Kira is crushing it!
Everyone is weighing in, Gina and BB agree on Mia Farrow and Dawson almost reads the answer before Kira weighs in.
Adam celebrates with his win, Adam tells Dawson to just call him a winner and they move on, funny.
Adam is telling them about a Honda civic with a bejeweled license plate frame, Adam is mocking the idea of someone attempting to impress people with these license plate frames.
Adam wants to know what else that is expressing besides that you’re ready to go after a few wine coolers, Kira jokes with him.
BB is now playing them a recording of his neighbors blaring Ranchero music, Kira excuses it for the holiday and Adam is now asking why is it that the shitter the music the more people are compelled to share with the world.
Adam cites R.E.M. and John Hiatt, Brad references Coltrane in a funny way.
Adam is doing a Draft Kings Live Read
Gina’s News
1st Story is on the investigation into the “Deflate Gate Scandal” and now BB is riffing with Ace about it, Adam says we just need a functional MRI machine used for clearing these things up.
Adam says everyone who makes over 2.5 million per year they must get in one of these machines and endure scrutiny, he cites Hilary Clinton and several other examples.
Adam is now turning it into an annual special hosted by Tom Bergeron, including Dr. Drew and Adam says that Tom must have known about it and explains he must like the feel of the ball when it’s slightly deflated.
2nd Story is on a North Carolina cop who is suing suing Starbucks over a faulty cup of coffee that led to Crohn’s disease and Adam riffs about it.
Gina has the details and quotes that “his wife lost her intimate partner” and now Brad is sharing his angle for possibly suing Starbucks because of what he jokes is discrimination regarding his height.
Adam has a great “how are the napkins moving on their own” comment that leads to an even funnier twist, Brad is dropping some solid one liners and tells them about having to wear a flag while in snow covered NYC.
Adam and the gang riff about Special Forces not having Chron’s disease.
3rd Story is a Germany or Florida about a woman who had sex with a minor and she gives them all of the details, Adam has a funny riff about the bestiality and Gina is in the mix explaining various scenarios to Adam.
They all weigh in and Gina confirms it’s of course Florida, Adam is now riffing new lyrics to the tune of ‘I’m Proud to Be an American’ thanks to Kira, gold!
They lyrics are hilarious.
4th Story Gina asks who saw ‘The Price Is Right’ on a specific day, Adam jokes that wasn’t part of the news story it was a test to find the deadbeats in the audience, hilarious.
Adam is now talking about how he used to see daytime T.V. when he was younger and it was all built around learning a new profession or going back to school compared to today where it’s nothing but ads for lawyers.
Adam brought up the Dootson School of Trucking and the “Debbie Dootson” commercial again, this came up last on ACS #1146 – Adam Perry Lang.
Gina brings up the Vaginal mesh class action lawsuit commercial and another for Mesothelioma, that air during the day, which leads to the great Vaginal Mesh riff of 2015, some of the funniest and most obscene one liners and innuendo, everyone gets in on it, Ace Awards 20156 material.
Gina gets to the story which is about a winner on the game show who cannot use her prize, a hot tub.
Adam is riffing about the tub with the door and hiring a guy to give him hard time when he tries to get in to his tub.
Kira is bringing up the Indian faith healer and Brad seems to know of him, funny Hadouken reference.
Adam is now offering up a possible solution for this the next time a contestant in a wheelchair is playing the game.
5th Story is on the Texas High school with the alarming Chlamydia outbreak.
They’re all looking at the tub and Adam jokes that if he lived with Brad he would use the tub to punish him, this is so funny.
Brad jokes about his dad putting him up on a shelf as a child, the original elf on a shelf.
Adam does a live read for Smart Mouth.
6th Story is a list on the most beautiful races, Adam jokes about the Kardashian’s being too much for him and how they would chew him up.
Gina tells them it’s based on a destination dating website, Brad jokes about being turned on by marches related to the Armenian Holocaust.
Brad tells them about never going Ireland and pots of gold, Adam is now proposing a less than fair split and calls it a “Dwarf Split” like it’s something that exists, very funny.
7th Story A Baltimore cite official has been fired for watching an obscene amount of porn while on duty, Adam says if this was a white cop he wants to head to Baltimore and riot because this is discrimination.
Adam says this is “White Keyboard Crime” and coins a new term for Urban Dictionary.
Kira is riffing about the amount of time and format of pornography the guy was using, Adam is now joking about uniting the races in the room.
“No Matter what color our skin is we all bleed red and we all Jizz white” – Adam’s tool to heal the racial diversion and jokes about “Take back the computer” and mocks his lack of sleep and only delivering a 6 on the last one.
Adam asks how they found out and riffs about a desk chair stuck to the official’s ass and they further riff about this, Adam references Quiznos.
8th Story is on the student whose being held in North Korea after intentionally traveling there to make a political statement.
Adam is riffing about who would want to go there and Adam says he didn’t know that in the 2000’s we’d all still be such pieces of shit, having sex with dogs etc.
Adam has a funny “his last name was Tang” closer.
Adam is doing an Arctic Ease live read and there is a weird background noise going on, bizarre feedback type noise.
Kira is giving out her plugs, Adam gives out the plugs for Lynette and CarollaDrinks.com.
Adam and BB have a nice closer and they wrap up the show.