Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 04/15/2014 – Schmoes Know and Ray Oldhafer

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Schmoes Know and Ray Oldhafer

Recorded 04-13-2014 – Release Date 04-15-2014

Production Number #1303

Show Page

Adam is opening the 2nd of 3 recordings done on Sunday with a quick explanation of this schedule due to Road Hard and how it will be effecting the show.

BB has an Oswaldo #TopDrop and now Adam is discussing the man’s epic lunch runs with Ray who’s in studio, Ray confirms he no longer hires Ozzie due to the same BS he pulled with Adam.

Adam is getting an update on BB’s early copy of his book going for over 2k towards the legal defense fund, Adam says they’ll have the guy who won call in.

 

Adam just told them about the 85k bill he just got from the legal team, Alison wants to know if it’s itemized, Ray says it would make him move to Mexico.

“I’m alone in a huge fight with life” – Adam on the headaches of being him.

Adam says the fans are the only saving grace of it all, the dedicated fan base who has raised over 350k for his legal defense.

 

Adam says that summer movie season is getting earlier and earlier each year, he compares it to check in and check out for hotels, Adam is sharing an anecdote of arriving for check in at 135pm.

They’re all bonding over their love for a toilet seat seal that used to be done at all hotels, now is something you only find at specific high roller locations.

Adam is now doing a live read.

 

Just the Tip

Adam is sharing an anecdote of walking in on the light left on his hall closet with nobody home, Adam is now getting to his time spent in therapy talking about people in his life who refuse to perform simple tasks.

Adam is discussing it with Alison, who also is bemused that it’s a fate accompli that the person in question will and can’t ever augment their behavior.

Adam is sharing the advice of “why don’t you hire…” to get someone to perform these tasks for his family, Adam asks why can’t the adults he pays for act like adults and flip a fucking light switch.

 

Ray says some families could feed another 1-2 families off their food waste, Adam is telling him about eating the rotten burrito, hilarious YOLO one liner from BB.

Adam says he picked the meat out of the burrito as the tortilla has turned to paste.

Ray is giving his tip, he’s bringing up painting and has a great back and forth with BB.

 

Adam is bringing up the commercial tropes showcasing women doing all the painting and the men in their lives looking on curelessly.

Ray is sharing his painting tip to eliminate mess, Adam actually likes it and now they’re discussing Jung Hi Lee, the Buddhist girl who was in love with Adam in Jr. High.

Adam is discussing the prayer alter and hinting at the two “Fruit Flies in the locker” stories, Adam is now joking about the Jewish faith and sporting a yarmulke for their religious events and ceremonies.

 

Adam says it’s questionable that another faith wants people who aren’t of their faith to dress in their regalia, Adam is now joking about wearing it and having it fall off, hilarious Bowery Boys one liner.

Ray is now asking Adam about the first time he wore a Yarmulke, he says at their friend Alex father’s funeral, Adam and Ray are no bonding over their love of Chocolate chip rolls.

Adam says he still stays in touch with Alex and they even comment on his dog they loved, Adam and Ray are describing his family’s house.

 

Adam is telling the story of the time he farted up the family room right next to Alex’s napping mom on the couch in front of him, killer story.

Ray is telling them about his 5 stepper fart that happened with no witnesses to appreciate it, Adam is going in depth asking him how it happened, and Ray says he was even looking around for wild life or anything to appreciate his greatness.

Ray is sharing an anecdote of an ex showing him her kata, she farted and pooped on her own ankle mid Kiai.

 

Adam now wants a 7hr movie of footage showing guys doing Katas and farting in the midst of it, Adam is now following up asking Ray about the piece of shit that came out of her, brown!

 

Adam is now doing a live read for Stamps.com

Adam is plugging “Ray’s podcast” Ace on the House, Ray says it’s their podcast, he then plugs the guest hosted episode with their buddy Chris coming up this week.

 

They’re back from break with the Schmoes making their return to the podcast, the guys are talking a mile a minute about the summer movie season.

Adam is telling them about talking to Bryan Cranston and his “make a movie about a giant lizard” reply when Adam was trying to schedule the fund anything video for Road Hard.

Mark and Kristian are telling Adam about the plot of Godzilla and they saw that other monsters might be making appearances as well, Mark wants King Kong vs. Godzilla.

 

Adam is now calling for his infamous Cris Carter and GodZuki Doppelganger theory, he’s having Gary pull up the right pictures which you can see via the show page link above or this fan made version here on Doppspot.

Adam is now breaking down GodZuki powers and the rest of his cast of monsters, Adam is mocking the use of a turtle and moth, and only a ladybug could be lamer.

Adam is asking about the cookie cutter programming for this season, Adam wants to know if a Neighbor themed movies has ever worked out, Kristian is praising the guys involved with the project and now BB is jumping in to give “Grumpy Old Men” a mention for being the lone good example.

 

They’re now discussing “A Million Ways To Die In The West” the new project from Seth Macfarlane, They’re praising Family guy and the character of death but Mark seems to use the past tense when saying he loved the character, instead of loves, it’s ongoing for 13-14 years now.

Now they’re talking about Transformers 4, The Schmoes want to know if BB loves all 3 of them, he’s tacitly approving of the 2nd installment.

Mark is going off on the shaky camera techniques and BB is bringing up the chrome bad guys who all look the same.

 

Adam is now ranting about the Megan Fox scene, where she opens the hood in part 1, Alison is stunned that everyone on staff has seen these movies, Adam saw it back in 2007 for the KLSX ACS.

Adam says that Shia was good in the movie, Adam is ranting about High Rise vs. cross flow Webbers, he’s saying this cunt known nothing, Adam is arguing about these movies being so lazy they let shit like this slip.

Adam is explaining how the dialogue was used in the wrong place, Adam breaks it down from script stage to the actual filming and request for the car to be used in the movie.

 

Kristian is making a point about Michael Bay’s filmmaking technique vs. Martin Scorsese’s, Adam is having Gary show them pictures of the high rise manifold, he’s telling Charles to get in there and help them find the right one.

Alison and Adam are now doing a live read.

 

Adam is getting to the new Spider-man 2 movie, he’s joking about Sony pulling the virgin/anal sex move with the franchise.

Kristian is giving his take on the new franchise, Mark says he’s not excited about it either.

 

BB brought up James Gunn and his new movie, Adam refer to him “as our James Gunn” who I actually first got booked on the Adam Carolla Show, but nobody ever seems to remember that.

Adam is walking them through the picture of the engine they’re observing, Adam is asking for a nice shot of a “High Rise” and he praises Alison’s very valid question.

The Schmoes break out some Japanese accents and Adam mocks them with the racial bigotry drop.

 

Alison’s News

Adam is now getting an update on the monsters in the Godzilla/Kaiju cannon, he’s learning that the turtle was Gamera.

 

1st Story Is a side by side comparison of the most beautiful woman, using celebrity body parts, Men’s choices vs. women’s and Adam has a killer “Martha Stewart’s Clit” one liner.

Alison is arguing against the lack of curves used in both examples, Adam is responding to update the gang on the latest “high rise” double pumper.

Alison and Kristian are arguing over the curves in the picture of the two bodies, Mark reveals that he’s been “studying” Emma Watson for years, creepy…

 

Adam is giving his chicks and gay guy’s preference for rail thin skinny women, Adam agrees with Alison and says that guys want Scarlett Johansson and girls think we want a skinny teenage boy.

Adam is sharing the “are you in” questions he would get with Kim Kardashian, he doesn’t have enough junk for her trunk, and Adam says it’s like a fat guy driving a full size car.

Adam is breaking down the actual math of a small donged dude trying to penetrate Kim K., Alison has a great use of “The Brothers” and BB has a great incredulous reaction.

 

Adam says he would give it the “Jr. College” try and now Mark is chiming in with him and BB has a lame missing brain joke.

 

2nd Story Is an update on Jerry Lewis’s comments on female comedians, Adam agrees with the condescension used in the reply, he’s saying it’s not really him backtracking.

Adam is now bringing up “The Day the Clown Cried” and the Schmoes aren’t that aware of it, BB knows a lot more and is filling them in.

Adam says you can always tell the talent level when someone decides to make their own movie, it’s the best barometer to determine if someone is a hack.

 

Adam is doing a live read with a hilarious Megan Fox callback, he’s giving out the plugs and wrapping up the show.

 

 

 

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