Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 04/11/2013 – John Holmberg, Live from ‘Stand Up Live!’ in Phoenix

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest – John Holmberg, Live from ‘Stand Up Live!’ in Phoenix

Recorded 04-06-2013 – Release Date 04-11-2013

Production Number #1054

 Show Page

Adam is opening the show with Alison, BB and local radio legend John Holmberg, Adam is peppering John with some questions about morning radio after a quick funny aside about his 545am start time.

Alison is weighing in and making a fine point, Adam has a great divorce analogy and is making a counter point about how you know you have a shitty job.

John just revealed he’s a huge fan of “Huell’s Jewels” and Adam has a funny riff about his family needing a shot of Huell, with some nice classic examples.


Adam is now actually asking John about his AM ritual and wake up time, he’s now observing the bump on John’s head after some nice baldness comedy/bonding with BB.

Adam is calling it the “Gurney bubble” like the famous racer and his custom GT40, John is now explaining how the bubble formed and how his hairline prevents insurance from covering its removal, Adam calls Gary Patrick Smith a genius, totally agree!

Adam is now explaining his self-surgery work in reply to Alison’s comment, he’s now going in depth on the anal carbuncle story and the complex process to illuminate the surgery area.

Adam is now revealing the rarely told fact that there are two anal carbuncle stories.


Adam is now telling the gang an anecdote about John Kimmel, Jimmy’s younger brother and his plan to run full speed down a hallway at the Mandalay Bay with his hands in his pockets.

Adam has some super kind words for the best people on the planet the Kimmel’s and is making an example about the differences between men and women based on this story.

Adam is wrapping up the story and John is jumping in to add to it, Adam just revealed that he’s been sharing his Mangria cup with John.


Alison is bringing up the drunken fans who were annoying the cast backstage after the recording with Dominic, Adam is referencing “the Salahis” and Alison actually is able to pull their name which Adam makes a funny note of.

Adam is citing the Always Better Closets wrong house installation and how he doesn’t mind being a douche to people who suck, he’s citing Dr. Drew’s nature and has a funny Hitler/Stalin as a fan riff.

Adam is now telling the infamous “Cobbs” story about the drunk woman who went insane, John is now sharing an anecdote about lying to a homeless guy about not having money and his Scottish friend’s hilarious reaction to the man.


Adam is now riffing on hobos and the evolution of the bindle stick to the modern day shopping cart train, Alison has a funny quip about homeless hoarding and Adam is now running with it.

Adam is on a funny tangent about cops stabbing bags with stilettos, he’s joking about nobody ever questioning how they know so much about cocaine in every 80’s movie that features that trope.

John is doing another impression of his Scotch buddy and bringing up a local homeless gentleman in a wheelchair.


Adam is now delivering an amazing quote on the state of dignity in today’s society and segueing to people in wheelchairs propelling them with their feet.

John has them now on a tangent about motorized carts in stores, Adam is making a prediction about what his kids can look forward too, the next evolution of grocery shopping, gold!

BB has a funny one liner about a fireman’s carry and Adam is on a great stroke cane riff.


Adam is now asking John about his dad and Alison has a funny comment about applause dictating her self-worth, Adam is now explaining how John’s dad makes him want to deliver a flying knee to his own dad’s groin.

John is explain his father’s unusual profession and Adam is making him reveal the nice benefits he got as the man’s son.

John just revealed his dad actually built the very building they are in now, Stand up Live. Adam is now asking John to bust out his impression he does of him.

Adam is doing a live read while taking a couple shots from “The Pebble” aka Rock Jr. in the audience, Adam and BB are now trying their first hit of “Fireball” and seem to love it after some initial protest.


Alison’s News

Adam is now interrupting to riff about the two large drunk guys in the audience and how he needs them to promise not to do the drunk guy “double clutch” handshake with the “dude seriously” reply.

Adam and Alison are now breaking down drunk behavior and she’s got a funny anecdote about a kindly friend who proved to be a crazy drunk.

Adam is calling for a curare “chill out” ring like some kind of good times “Green Lantern corps” and is now asking an adventurous dentist to undertake his idea for “bagging and tagging” patients to avoid the dread of a dentist appointment.

Adam is now on a nitrous/dentist riff, Alison and John are jumping in and sharing anecdotes.


Her top story is on “dog grog” a new nonalcoholic beer for dogs, Adam has a hilarious riff about every species enjoying beer and how it’s the universal drink we can all agree on.


2nd story is on a recent Powerball office pool that resulted in a winning ticket and some kindness among co-workers.

Alison wants to know if Adam would have done the same thing and cut the non-participant in on the winnings, he’s now on a rant about the government encouraging gambling while simultaneously claiming to be against it.

Adam is now on an epic anti-lottery riff, Alison and John are jumping in and now he’s transitioned to the local commercials, amazing quotes!


3rd story on a Pennsylvania woman who was charged with child endangerment after allowing her child to pump gas and he sprayed himself.

Adam is now explaining how kids don’t really pay off until they can fetch and go on runs for you, he’s citing his late night “Dean Martin-esque” visits with the kiddies before bed.

Adam is now on an epic rant/riff about lawyers ruining this country, he’s citing the old Subaru commercials with the “do not try this at home” graphic and the far tamer minivan commercials that also feature the same graphic.

Adam and Alison are now on an epic airplane tangent and Adam just invented “airline fantasy camp” in response to Alison’s idea, good stuff.


4th story is on is on the stats of Americans who text while driving, Adam has some funny ideas to augment/discourage this behavior, he’s asking for a “Show of Heil’s” with much plainer language this time.

He’s now inventing a “Prussian helmet spike” in place of airbag policy and another change up involving a mug of donkey sperm, fantastic classic drop work from BB!

Adam is doing a live read, and wrapping the show with some kind thank you’s across the board and most importantly to the “Genius” Gary Patrick Smith.