11 Apr Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 04/10/2015 – Candace Smith and Deaf Frat Guy
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Candace Smith and Deaf Frat Guy
Recorded 04-09-2015 – Release Date 04-10-2015
Production Number #1550
Adam opens the show with a ‘Tijuana Pussy Posse’ intro from Dawson and Lynch, Adam thanks the fans for supporting the show and works ‘Amazon Prime’ into it again.
BB plays the “Neat!” clip from ‘Crank Yankers’ and Adam welcomes DFG to the show, Adam shares his inability to find clips of himself on The Man Show and Crank Yankers to show the kids.
Adam says he doesn’t have the box sets, Adam has all of the content including his entire run on ‘Buzz Light-year of Star Command’ and all the runs of his shows, they’re on his digital archive at the shop and could easily be added to his home system as I’ve begged for many times.
Adam is now asking to nominate Los Angeles at the dumbest city in the union, he talks about the thick weeds littering the sides of the freeways and how Arizona makes their desert aesthetic look nice, they embrace their natural foliage and terrain.
Adam is lamenting how L.A. wastes water with sprinklers going in the rain, Adam says they should get fake lawns for everyone.
Adam is commenting on how difficult it is to keep grass alive and keep sprinkler heads aligned.
Adam is commenting on how it ends up rotting the side of your house and letting the grass die as they go off at 4am when you can’t see them.
Adam wants to know why this is not discussed, BB says that’s what his brother does for a living.
DFG is suggesting doing donuts on lawns.
Gina is sharing some concerns she saw people had about bacteria collecting on fake turf, Adam is going on about his turf and how much everyone in the family loves it.
Adam talks about guys in the NFL playing on a shittier version of this kind of fake turf for the past 40 years, BB has a Palo Alto comparison.
Adam has an impassioned “All we ever talk about is nothing” and Adam and DFG joke about the millions of gallons saved by encouraging people not to beat off in the shower, Adam says millions alone from Bryan’s household.
“Fuck Problems!” – DFG
Adam is doing a Draft Kings live read
Adam asks if they wouldn’t like it if it felt like the city was being run by people who cared, Adam and BB are lamenting the dumb city they live in and Adam cites the tablet pc program.
Adam is bringing up his disdain for ‘The Beastie Boys’ and has Chris on mic as he’s talking about how horrible their music is, Adam is getting Chris to back him up.
Adam is forgetting that ‘Paul’s Boutique’ is Dr. Bruce’s favorite album, Adam is ranting about the “tinny” sound of their music, and BB shares his love for them.
Adam is responding to DFG who doesn’t really know their music, he mixes them up with ‘The Beach Boys’ and now Maxipada is saying it’s an instant skip for him.
Adam says people respond to him saying he dislikes the Beastie Boys like he’s announcing he’s going to draw a cartoon of a certain prophet, citing his recent experiencing on Kevin and Bean.
BB brings up a point about their early work being overplayed, BB is sharing his favorite parts of the albums and then implies Adam can’t appreciate any rap music.
Adam says he’s sure the guys are delightful individuals he just doesn’t like their music, Adam then tells BB not to get him started on Prince who Adam arguably hates in more.
Adam is now sharing his distaste for Robert Plant’s music and is now telling BB about ‘Power Station’ and describes it as a counter to ‘The Eagles’ breaking up and becoming several shitty solo artists, he even references ‘Smugglers Blues’ and is now telling them about some of the hits from ‘Power Station’.
Adam is playing a song a he heard on the 80’s station from ‘Power Station’ remaking a song ‘Bang a Gong’ by T. Rex.
BB says he’s never heard that cover before, Adam is asking if DFG wants to play his game but instead takes a call from Travis.
Adam is sharing his off-air conversation with Chris about the Beastie’s and says his wife would freak out if she heard him saying these things and mocks her own lack of listening to the boys to prove her own disinterest.
BB jokes about the evening Adam described of him trying to get his wife to lose interest in her favorite music, Adam then brings up the possibly low intellect of Bruce Springsteen.
Travis has his first Greater Than/Less Than for them the mileage range of the first electric car vs. the age of the youngest Academy Award winner.
Adam has a long process of working this out.
The Melting Temperature of Gold vs. the number of movies starring Ron Jeremy, Adam puts his money on the Hog’s hog.
DFG is sharing his love for Peter North, he jokes about Kim and Kanye naming their kid after him.
Adam brings up porn star Randy West, DFG goes with gold and they’re all lost in a sea of cocks.
DFG says if you had all of that dude’s nut you could cure the drought, Adam jokes about living in Ron’s nutsack.
Number of Languages taught at the L.A. Unified Languages vs. Languages provided by YouTube
BB and Gina can’t believe there are 92 languages in LAUSD.
Adam is doing a live read for Reverie bed
Q and Ace
1st Caller Scott, he brings up the inspiring guests and the up and coming comedian types who call in, Scott wants to be a bridge and talks about feeding his daughter oatmeal every day.
Adam interrupts him to say that not all people can afford 13 cents per day, Adam says that everyone can feed their kids if they wanted to.
Adam is now bringing up how you could panhandle if you must, it’s all about motivation and says dementia or drug addiction might be the only thing that could keep you from being able to feed your kids.
Scott says he hates it when people call in and don’t have the skill to earn a career in comedy, he wants to be the funny guy who is better than most amateurs that Adam uses an example to have them give up.
BB is mocking Scott’s inability to get to the point of a call quick enough, Adam is now working up a potato farmer improv based on DFG’s suggestion.
Adam is trying to work out the scene, Russell (Scott) is dropping the ball, and Adam says he feels like he’s standing next to the scene cracking jokes on it, BB is now giving some of his improv experience.
Adam is now speaking to a more downbeat ‘Russell’ bringing up his backhoe used to dig a shelter, Adam mocks the hypocrisy of religion with his character.
Scott closes it with a question about the potatoes after agreeing to repopulate the earth by fucking Adam’s character’s daughter.
Adam closes out the scene.
Gina says that’s goo though, it shows people how difficult it is, Adam says he did make it seem very difficult.
2nd Caller Tom, he mocks the previous callers improv chops
He has a bizarre hypothetical give up oral sex or all cheese for the rest of your life, Adam is mocking the people who ask the equivalent of “even Havarti?” even though the question was very clear.
Adam jokes about wrapping his wiener in American cheese and having to peel it back so the head pops out, nice reaction from Gina.
Adam is breaking down his thoughts on this, looking towards the future and how at 75 you might want cheese more than a beej.
Adam asks if he can beat off to cheese, DFG brings up road head and Adam says this is vexing, BB brought up pizza and Gina brings up cashew and soy cheese, Adam is mocking cheese less pizza and bites the bullet, they give up oral sex.
J.V. or All Balls
Adam is doing a live read for Tasting Room
Adam is going on about his preferences in wine and BB is joining him, trying to figure out the variety of wine Adam doesn’t like as it’s too similar to medicine.
1st JVOAB Thurston Howell, III, Adam says all balls and compliments the actor, Gina says JV and DFG brings up the idea of him taking a bullshit low class cruise.
Adam asks BB if Ginger and Mary Ann knew each other before they were on the cruise, BB is asking Gina why she has such affinity for old shows, she blames TV land network.
Adam is now going off on ‘Gilligan’s Island’ and how bizarre it was for such a disparate group of people to all be on a cruise.
2nd JVOAB Tom Cruise, Adam brings up the recent message from his publicist asking about his involvement in Adam’s documentary.
Adam is explaining how people own the rights to footage of people, Adam is commenting on how Tom might outwork us all and says that Tom’s hair is just starting to surpass him and says he should let some grey creep him.
DFG quotes a ‘Just for Men’ advertisement and Adam is joking about Tom always riding a motorcycle in his post-apocalyptic movies.
Adam is now complimenting his work in ‘Tropic Thunder’ and Gina tries to quote a line from the movie, they all say All Balls.
DFG is now listing the reason and mentions a hot wife, they stop on that and Adam corrects DFG.
DFG has a kind freedom of religion closer, Adam shares his theory on Tom Cruise strafing Hollywood in his P-51 Mustang as the greatest all time freak out, Adam says it would break the internet.
Adam says that Tom’s legacy is secure, this could be the ultimate stunt.
Gina now shares the quote she stumbled with earlier, Adam is telling the gang about August informing him of Tom’s people asking about the documentary, and Adam gave him an open invite to come view it.
3rd JVOAB Dudes who grab their crotch, Adam says he likes when women do it on occasion and jokes about it being like when women get really pissed and scream “suck my cock” he likes the novelty.
BB has DFG clarify that he means anybody, Adam likes it and brings up the guys who do it as almost a nervous twitch and Adam brings up the guy from Ice Road Truckers who was on the KLSX Morning show and couldn’t stop swearing during the interview.
The episode was 06/25/2007 with TJ Tilcox the man in question with the swearing habit.
DFG gives his ruling and says this is touching your meat and then shaking hands with your family, he sides against Adam and Adam says double rainbows, he’s not going to answer.
Adam plugs the DFG live events, BB asks if he knows this already and has a funny Caelan mention while wrapping it up.
They head to break.
They’re back from break
Adam welcomes Candace to the show while proclaiming ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ one of his favorite shows, he’s praising Patti Stanger and Candace is telling the about Larry Birkhead and some mock dates they were attempting.
Adam is commenting on the confusing message for men, society doesn’t want men to treat women like women, but women still want that in many cases.
Candace agrees with Adam while peppering in her own wisdom, Adam is talking about how her impressive resume coupled with her looks only makes her more attractive.
Candace tells Adam about how all men like her in the beginning but then grow tired with her independence eventually, Adam says that everything needs to be able to be “turned off” and brings up his own toggle switch.
Adam wonders if women can’t flip that switch as easily, Candace agrees and explains that women need to embrace typically male attributes to achieve success in the structure of society as it exists now.
Candace says she can turn it off but Adam makes a good point and she needs to work on improving that switch, she’s single and tells Adam she wants a man.
She’s describing the type of person she wants in her life, she’s breaking down her multilayer personhood and now Adam is referencing the scene in ‘The Aviator’ where he had to go back and meet the parents.
Adam asks about Candace’s ethnic heritage, she’s unclear on it and sees herself as the modern “grey race” and Candace asks Gina about her ethnicity, Gina seems to admit to a nose job and B has a cute one liner.
Adam is joking about hanging out with Candace’s white mom during the cookouts, talking about white stuff “potato salad” and “SPF.”
Adam is bringing up the time he was fishing with William ‘The Refrigerator’ Perry who had a pig he bought in the ground, cooking.
BB asks about it like he’s never heard about this before.
Adam is back to the show ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ and he says misses the Goth couple on the show, he’s now riffing about men having the options to pick a lane/style and go with it.
Adam is asking Candace about celebrities who ask women out via their publicists.
Candace has a funny “huh!” while talking about some various dudes she knows, BB keeps naming only black men, Candace says she likes mixed men, white men etc.
Gina’s News
1st Story is on David Miscavige taking preventive measures to his father possibly speaking out against the church of scientology.
Adam is talking about how he started to get creeped out by David after seeing him in a key scene in ‘Going Clear’ and now Adam is asking if they think it would be weird if they somehow wound up in charge of the church of scientology.
Adam is feeling sympathy for the weird fucking juggling act he’s caught in and Gina is now listing off some real world concerns about his behavior, Adam is suggesting that this position of power creates some imbalance.
Adam is talking about Molly Ringwald and how people felt she was stuck up and he would defend her for her unique position and asked them what they would be like in her shoes, much worse.
Gina is now quoting Miley Cyrus about the pressure she felt while growing up and supporting so many people and careers.
BB is asking about David’s wife and Adam is now trying to figure out what he pulls down per year, Adam talks about the real estate holdings.
Adam is doing a life lock ultimate plus live read
Adam jokes about the term “skim” as pool equipment, pretending to be ignorant, good stuff.
2nd Story Gina assumes Adam and BB are ‘True Detective’ fans and tells them about the new trailer, Adam is singing the praises of Vince Vaughn and his immense acting talent.
Adam is asking how this works, Gina says this is a new story and Adam asks if they’re going to keep refreshing with each season.
Candace talks about Israeli female personal security, Adam plugs the Newman documentary trailer for ‘Winning’.
3rd Story is on a hardcore porn scene that was displayed at a KFC restaurant and recorded by a customer, Adam is asking who eats dinner “out” at KFC.
Adam says the whole point of the place is to take the chicken to go, take a bucket and run.
Adam is now riffing about KFC with Candace, she’s proving to be a very fun guest and Adam is now setting the KFC coleslaw as the benchmark for good slaw, he’s going in depth on it.
Candace is with Adam arguing against fancy mac and cheese and fancy coleslaw.
4th Story is on the new Taco Bell delivery test marketing, BB asks about it being hard to get.
Candace says that Taco Bell’s twitter account favorited her tweet about their stoned customer base, Adam is joking about bringing his own pillow case to Taco Bell as they give so much food, he needs a reinforced sack.
Adam says the delivery minimum is 80lbs.
Adam is now sharing his sadness for balding middle aged fast food employees, Adam is ok with young people and elderly people “degrading” and shedding into your tortilla, holy shit!
Adam jokes about ‘Taco Bell’ inventing a 4th meal, Candace says she likes the mexi-melt and Adam is asking her about a hypothetical date, Gina wraps the news to her fumbled quote from ‘Tropic Thunder’.
Adam brings up his kids playing with the “You Can’t Articulate Yourself” drop from Classic Loveline that BB put in the drop app it seems, uh oh.
Candace invited Adam onto the show ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ as an expert consultant, Candace and Gina bond over their love for Idris Elba
Adam is doing a Future Advisor live read
Adam is wrapping up the show and giving out the plugs, they should have Candace back she was a lot of fun.