Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 04/09/2013 – Frank Caliendo, Live from ‘Stand Up Live!’ in Phoenix

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest –Frank Caliendo, Live from ‘Stand Up Live!’ in Phoenix

Recorded 04-05-2013 – Release Date 04-09-2013

Production Number #1052

Show Page

Adam is opening the show with Frank onstage making his podcast ACS debut, Frank was a KLSX morning show veteran FYI.

Adam is now riffing on the late night talk show pre-interview process and Frank is joining in as they improv a scene of Frank on the line with a segment producer.

Frank is now busting out his “Morgan Freeman” impression mid riff, he’s now narrating Adam’s analogies and it’s wonderful.


Adam is now asking Frank about his impressions and if he’s had anyone die on him from his roster, and Adam is riffing about kids selling things door to door.

Alison is now asking Adam about answering his door and he’s sharing his theory on how you react to the phone ringing being a prime indicator of your position in life.

Adam is now going off on how society has lost respect for the phone call due to cell phones, he’s suggesting a new plan for a fake wire which is reminiscent of his novelty tampon string idea.


What Can’t Adam Complain About

1st topic “Godfather II” and Adam has a great reaction to the voice of the guy who suggested it and now he’s on a spectacular series of riffs about lying to Lynette about seeing the movie in order to name their son and is wrapping it up by inviting himself to the crappy apartment of the guy who suggested it.


2nd topic “If you can steer it clear it” road signs, Adam is starting this one with a riff about the minor fender benders and how we should start “egging” these people, whoa!

Adam is now going off on the jalopies that fill the roadways of Los Angeles, he’s going off on the gardener’s trucks and ice cream vans found across the valley.

Alison wants to know about the gardening truck and Adam is now riffing about being a former driver of one and the reaction you have as a homeowner when trying to pick out a gardener based off his truck.


3rd topic is “Pizza” and Adam has a funny question for Frank. Adam is now riffing against the vegetarians like me who ruin office pizza parties with their needy dietary restrictions.

Adam just conjured the name of the audience member who ousted herself as this very type of picky vegetarian, holy shit Great Magnet!

Frank is now jumping in as Morgan and Adam is proposing a horrible twilight zone esque scenario where Morgan Freeman narrates your attempts to get laid, this is genius!

Frank is busting out an impression of the guy who suggested “Godfather II” and Adam is now explaining the thing that will piss him off most about his Kreskin like abilities and he’s citing Rachel’s impressive physique in the process.


Adam has a killer one liner about menstruation and now Alison is keying up his “Burbank Airport Pigeon Almond” story and Adam is killing it with new variants of phrasing and clever original one liners.

Adam’s joke about only eating things rejected by pigeon mouths and strengthening his own immune system through avian diseases is epic.

Alison is sharing her own story of airport germs and daring mouth behavior, Adam is now chastising the crowd for the lack of urinal dividers at the Phoenix airport and he’s met with a killer response from the audience. Poor Tokyo traveler getting thrown under the bus.


Alison’s News

Her top story is on the majority of Americans now approving of the legalization of Marijuana.

Adam is sharing the story of the time he bragged about his mom’s pot plant and how it was stolen by one of his unruly pals.

Adam is explaining his vantage point on the evolution of pot, he’s referencing his mom and her hippy buddies including the giant “Zorback” and BB is asking if Adam’s mom had her own “code name” and Adam is revealing the long lost/newly created “Food Stamp” gold!


Adam is using the inevitable nature of progress to explain why it should be legal and Alison wants to know about straight people avoiding marriage until marriage equality is made legal.

Alison is now sharing an anecdote about going to a haunted house as a youth and the terror she experienced, Adam is busting her balls and working in an old “Jenny Jones” story.


2nd story is on a new service called “Rent a Mourner” and Adam has some golden immediate replies to the concept.

Alison is filling in the details and Adam has some serious questions about pricing for black mourners/actors.

Adam is trying to get Frank to bust out a “Black Heavyset Woman of Color” voice and Frank is protesting despite Adam’s funny claims to being able to dig one out of him.


Alison wants to know who this service is aimed at and Adam is killing it with a description about his eventual funeral (Great Magnet Forbid).

Hilarious callback to audience member Rachel and he’s still riffing, Alison wants to know if he would be ok with his wife “loving again” and now he’s listing all the people who aren’t allowed to love again once he’s no longer around.

Adam is sharing the anecdote of the “Griffith Park driving range” and the gentleman with a cot mattress strapped to him being targeted by the golf goofballs.


3rd story is on a Florida Woman who found a religious message in her “Goldfish crackers” and Adam is riffing about companies no longer shaping food into items we wouldn’t eat, hilarious!

Adam is now joking about the items he would even eat if they’re we’re cheddar covered and now he’s riffing on the presentation of food.

Alison is back to the details of the story and Adam is throwing in some “Cheez-It” blasphemy. Adam is riffing on his methods of creating tortillas if he ran a factory, Alison has a great point about not inspecting her food and an equally funny one liner.


4th story is on how ones job burnout might actually be killing them.

Alison is sharing the details of the study and the accompanying test, Adam is citing all the “are you an alcoholic” survey’s he’s tried and BB is jumping in with some well-timed “pot calling the kettle black” drops.

Adam is now doing a one man improv of his answers to the smoking/drinking questions during a physical.

Alison is now reading the questions from the survey and Adam has a funny reaction to the question about complex problems and BB is jumping in for a quick improv bit, nice!


5th story is on a Tennessee bill that could remove a family’s public assistance if the children are flunking in school.

Adam is totally for this bill and is making some key points, I cannot disagree with his angle or logic.

Adam is on an epic rant that crescendos with the reasoning that if we pay for your food and shelter we become your collective boss, interesting.


6th story is on Pope Francis and the media report about him possibly only having one lung, Adam is now off on a tangent about the local radio show interview he did where he was joking about the pope and their old “beach volleyball” days and how the hosts were gullible.

They’re now all riffing on redundant organs and Adam is now having Alison wrap the news.

Adam is doing a live read and trying to tell Frank about his old days as a boxing coach, Frank just broke Adam and “cracked the code”.


Adam is wrapping the show.