Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 04/07/2014 – Rhys Darby and Dave Dameshek

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Rhys Darby and Dave Dameshek

Recorded 04-06-2014 – Release Date 04-07-2014

Production Number #1297

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Adam is opening the show with fan favorite Dave Dameshek and 2006 KLSX ACS sports guy, not to mention Dave’s of Thunder, perhaps one of the most beloved podcasts of all time.

If you want to hear his first appearances on the ACS podcast from 2009 you can hear them via Adam’s Amazon links here; ACS #04 (feat. Dave Dameshek), ACS #42 (feat. Dave Dameshek), ACS #64 (feat. Dave Dameshek & Deaf Frat Guy), ACS #83 (feat. Dave Dameshek), ACS #204 (feat. Dave Dameshek) and ACS #219 (feat. Dave Dameshek)

Full Albums Here: The Adam Carolla Show 2009, Vol.1, The Adam Carolla Show 2009, Vol.2, The Adam Carolla Show 2009, Vol.3

 

Dave is offering congratulations across the board in a very classy and funny sounding way, he references the goal posts and Adam tells us that BB is still en route to the studio.

Adam is now bringing up the Jewish trait he shares about predicting events you don’t want to happen, forms of superstitious behavior, Alison is helping him explaining his point.

Adam is now giving up some examples and Alison has a Jewish anecdote from her parents, regarding not owning anything so large you can’t strap it to your back, Adam says she should have known she was a Jew the moment they said that.

 

Adam is now giving the pothole heads up analogy for attempting to avoid things, he’s telling them about performing at Kevin and Bean’s “April Foolishness” stand up show.

He says he’s been so busy he didn’t have time to even consider his set list or topics for the show, Adam is sharing the lineup for performing and his intent to follow Doug Benson and before Jim Jefferies.

Adam is explaining why without being insulting, he’s praising Jim Jefferies and citing the varying energy levels between the 3 men.

 

Adam is explaining how then of course he was swapped on the set list in exactly the way he didn’t want to be, Chris is now chiming in confirming that he was watching Taylor Williamson from the wings.

Adam has a great reanimated Richard Pryor and George Carlin riff, Adam says it’s his fault for taking the time to think, care and want.

Adam explains he thinks that some people didn’t want to close, Adam didn’t mind and killed it anyway, in front of nearly 7k people.

 

Adam is welcoming Bald back to the studio, just in time for a philosophy lesson.

Adam is telling them about taking Natalia to her first Ice Skating competition, she had the butterflies and didn’t want to go.

Adam is sharing his advice that he gave her that led to her triumph and gold medal, he’s telling this in amazing detail with cute anecdotes about his home life, he does a great job of impersonating his kids now that I think of it.

Adam is sharing his exact quotes and Olga’s exaggerated “Nooooooo!?” in reply to him saying he doesn’t like to talk about himself, Adam is saying in life the more situations where you had butterflies, the more interesting your life is, he used his mother as a counter point/weight to the story.

 

Adam is going in depth with Dave about what truly eats at you when you turn around and give up, Adam says Natalia would have easily taken that option if it was mentioned.

Alison is asking Adam about the names of skating moves and they’re joking a bit.

Adam is now doing a live read.

 

Dave Dameshek’s #1 Sports

Dave is joking with Adam about the MLB season and how much he loves it, with great sarcasm.

He’s steamrolling over Adam’s interruption attempt like a pro and getting to the NFL uprights, he’s sharing his doubt that transitioned to possible belief that Adam is indeed responsible, he’s explaining his trail of evidence that led to his conclusion.

Adam is now sharing his difficulty in going to the Rich Eisen podcast, he moved studios and a security guard didn’t tell Adam about said move, Adam praises the indigenous cacti they have in their nicely maintained facilities and grounds.

 

Dave jokes about the studio number #66 being built by Mario Lemieux, Dave says it’s the house that Dameshek built and fires his blaster, and Adam says it’s the house that Bill Bergey built.

Adam says he ran into a chick from junior high that he didn’t want to see, Estie Chiladanko/Chandler? Hmmm?

Adam is on an extended “gutter of life” riff about the types of people who end up working security jobs, they’re all mocking them and Alison is backing Adam up.

Adam is now marveling at a photo of Bill, the former NFL great.

 

Dave is now reporting on the latest WrestleMania and he’s primitively putting himself on the jerk list for mocking others for not being mature enough to move past a scripted sport and he’s citing his own love and excitement for season 4 of “Game of Thrones.”

Alison says she doesn’t think Adam even knows what Dave’s GOT references mean as he didn’t say the show’s title, Adam replies “Game of Thrones or House of Blues or whatever, I don’t know which it is, I don’t indulge in that bullshit”

Adam says he would take WrestleMania over Game of Thrones.

 

Dave is reporting on the 27yr anniversary of Marvin Hagler and Tommy Hearns, Dave is sharing his thoughts on the passage of time, he was off by 8 years and then corrects it.

Adam explains that Tommy Hearns volunteers to fight every time he speaks to Sugar Ray Leonard, Adam is briefing them on Marvelous Marvin Haggler who moved to Italy and never came back, changing careers to film and living a live full of exotic European women.

Adam is bringing up all of his offers to rematch his greatest opponents and the paydays he left on the table, Dave wants to know if Marvin really beat Sugar Ray.

 

Adam explains the visceral competition vs. the sport element of a match, he says that Marvin won the visceral portion and he’s explaining how Sugar Ray made sure to stay active during the opening and closing 30 seconds of each round.

Adam is now riffing about pussy wells, he says that Marvin would have returned had the pussy dried up.

They’re riffing about Iran Barkley and John the Beast Mugabi, Adam gets corrected his half-brother was Robbie Simms, Adam is now asking the guys how hold Marvin was when he hung up the gloves.

 

Adam is now bringing up José Isidro “Pipino” Cuevas González , Dave is repeating it and departing to cloud nine “gooodbyyyyeeee…..”, hilarious Dave!

Adam is giving them a thumbnail sketch of Pipino, he’s sharing how he’s always known about the dude and finally said that name to his nanny Olga, and he asked her the meaning of the name.

She told him it means cucumber, not lighting, not quick, Adam has a hilarious reaction.

 

Adam is now giving some of the details on Pipino as provided by Gary, he’s joking about the cucumber, you can hear the disbelief in his voice, and he’s cracking himself up.

Alison reads that it does indeed mean cucumber and he laughs more, Adam is sharing how boxers loser their license after so many losses to an inquisitive Dave Dameshek.

 

Dave is now going off on Buffalo, he’s complaining that the football team is named after the man who almost rendered that majestic beast extinct.

He’s reporting that they might move the team to Los Angeles, Adam is reading Pipino’s ranking for punching power.

As we found out in 2006 on the KLSX Adam Carolla Show with Dave Dameshek, Adam punches with 643lb of pressure, Chuck Liddell required 3 attempts to match that ranking, he beat Sugar Ray by about 100lbs too, thought he cited at the time, he was not known for his power, but speed and combination of skills.

 

Dave suggest the best way to revitalize boxing is to schedule fights with featherweights against real world guys with no experience of his stature, Adam launches into a live read for Audible, claiming to be “Reading” Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons by Greg Fitzsimons, that’s a long book!

Adam threatens to write “The Girl with Butterflies in her Stomach” and says their guest is early and has a hard out, Dave tells them to just give him the “broom” instead Adam is suggesting something better.

BB is ending the sports segment, possibly just the first half.

They’re now going break.

 

They’re back form break with Rhys Darby making his ACS debut, Adam is explaining where you might know him best from, and Adam is asking him about his experience in the military in New Zealand.

Adam says he’s never thought about the military there, Adam says that’s what you want in an army “quaint” and Rhys is telling them about the multi skilled men that were shaped but with a budget, having to yell “bullets, bullets, bullets” while running in the woods, instead of firing munitions, as they couldn’t afford to waste them.

 

Adam is being polite and asking the main differences between New Zealand and Australia, Rhys is explaining the historical differences and citing how the British formed Australia.

Rhys is telling them about the Maori warriors and Adam is summing things up, Adam has a killer riff about the Maori yelling “spears, arrows, spears, arrows” which eventually evolved to musket balls.

Adam is asking Rhys what brought him out of New Zealand, he’s telling them about Edinburgh and Adam wants to know how people look at the United States when it comes to a comedy a career.

 

Rhys is telling them about doing standup in the UK and has a funny reaction to Adam’s gay slang reply, Rhys is telling them about his sound effect work on stage and how a bad mic can ruin his set before it begins.

Adam is now asking him for some helicopter sounds, BB is chiming in and Adam is getting Rhys is do it live in studio.

Adam seems to like it and Rhys is busting out some more machinery sounds, Alison is asking him how he transitioned from the military to comedy.

 

Adam is telling them about a biography on Dan Whitney, aka “Larry the Cable Guy” and he’s explaining that “I went with my friend on an audition” for women is the male standup equivalent to being “pushed on stage.”

Adam is bonding with Rhys over “The Goodies” a forgotten BBC show that Adam watched a kid, he’s now sharing his observations on the large swing in British culture, from the buttoned up society to their sophomoric comedy.

Adam is using the Japanese to further his point, a buttoned down society that lets loose in unusual ways.

 

Adam is now doing a live read.

 

Hooray for Baldywood

Captain America the Winter Soldier, BB is going super in depth with the background of this movie and the people involved with its production.

BB is quizzing the gang if they’ve seen the last movie, Adam says fuck no and BB is mistakenly weaving the wrong type of supernatural into the description, the Red Skull’s skull is not on fire, it’s been stripped of all flesh, it’s a red skull.

BB is now lamenting Marvel Comics, he’s not getting it and Adam says he was completely down with the first Iron Man and is explaining why.

Not knowing that every thread of every character is tied to the next and the “magic” in the movies/continuity is actually science, Adam is switching between moving Marvel and DC.

 

Rhys is giving his take on “The Avengers” and BB is explaining about 3 seconds of the plot then trails off with some “blah blah blah”.

Adam is asking for you to mix these crazy genres and he’s saying that you use the future/terminator, BB is saying this is fantasy, no it’s not BB, it was SCI-FI of the highest order, reimaging all of the Greek mythology as if it was real and originated from space.

BB says this movie is missing a great villain, he’s calling Robert Redford a frail old man, not mentioning who the actor is, Adam is now giving his take on casting villains for films.

 

Adam is breaking down the types that make sense, he’s saying go super young or super old, citing the Die Hard and Bond standards and the “young computer hacker guys”.

Adam is asking what happens when you get to the 71yr villain, was he a villain at 35? BB is agreeing with him instead of explaining how this movie handled it, a secret WWII era Nazi linked cabal that invaded the US government.

B+ according to BB.

 

Adam is giving the plugs out for Rhys and they’re saying goodbye, Adam reveals he’s know some “Concords” stuff.

Adam is now doing a live read and Dave Dameshek is swapping spots with Rhys, Alison is joining Adam on the Life Lock live read as per usual.

 

Dave is now bringing up the most mismatched hero and villain in all of comics, Superman vs. Lex Luthor in DC Comics lore, yeah DC sucks bro.

Dave wants to know who would win in a fight, Superman or The Hulk, Adam says it’s unclear how powerful the Hulk is, he’s bringing up King Kong and then using sidewinder missiles that can’t penetrate the flesh of the hulk.

Nobody is telling Adam that the Hulk instantly heals, BB is defending Superman and they’re now bringing up Godzilla, Adam says if it will shred a tank it will shred Godzilla, Adam is missing the point about the Hulk’s abilities and how hurting him makes him angrier which then only increases his power.

 

Alison is bringing up a question of what magic power she would choose if she wanted, they’re all now weighing in, Adam has a killer burn on BB.

Bald Bryan “Invisibility is really the better one.”

Adam Carolla “Invisibility? I feel like you’re halfway there…”

They’re all discussing “Transcendence” the upcoming fiction film, they’re taking it to the actual science as predicted by Ray Kurzweil. Dave says it’s all about just staying alive until they can keep you alive forever via scientific advancements.

 

Adam is joking about flying and how we would all injure ourselves like an old person a skateboard, he’s now asking a bizarre hypothetical about a future where you live forever but you’re stuck in a 90yr old body forever, they can’t rejuvenate you, just extend life.

He’s now asking another hypothetical about freezing yourself ala Captain America, so you could take advantage of the advances in medicine but in your younger body.

Alison is now asking them about Rick Rosner and his gross toe.

Adam and Dave are discussing how Rick reentered High school multiple times, even as old as 28, Errol Morris even made a documentary about him according to Dameshek.

 

They’re now discussing his tremendous 2nd toe, Adam says it’s like lanes on a freeway and he’s trying to number the toes.

Adam says they should book him for the podcast, Dave is singing the man’s praises and telling them about the lawsuit he filed against ABC as the Kimmel show was starting up.

 

Creep of the Week

He’s got an early Star Wars tease, he’s now joking about Pipino and Adam is contrasting the nicknames of the United States against all of the cultures where they don’t seem to use irony.

Dave is now bringing up the “Flatizza” and he’s mocking the ad campaign, Adam has a great WNBA first pick joke in reply.

Adam is asking why they can’t just do the standard deli sandwiches, aren’t the 28 classic options enough, BB is now mocking the “new” and “classic” styles of Flatizza.

 

Dave is bringing up his distaste for LOL and YOLO, he’s saying the nonsense all started with R.I.P. and Adam is telling them that he repeated the 12th grade 4 times using fake I.D.’s.

Dave is bringing up Grapes and Grapefruit, he’s complaining about the big orange orb being nothing like a grape, he’s blaming a lazy jerk who picked the name.

Adam is now bringing up grape nuts, he’s riffing about why they get to calls themselves nut, let alone grape.

 

Adam is asking do pizzas usually come in a ball, Dave has a crazy reaction “I know, I know that’s what I’m saying!”

Adam is now riffing his idea about being present for all of the bad board room meetings for things like “What can brown do for you” Flatizza and New Coke.

Adam is bringing up the Chicago affiliate back in 1996, before it was picked up by MTV, Adam is sharing the WB ad Campaign, and he’s mocking the experience in the classic fashion.

Adam is killing it, he’s describing himself brand new to his “Era of Complaint” and Dave is saying he would like to see the outtakes.

 

Dave is bringing up the last time he was in studio and then being in New Orleans for the Super Bowl, he’s citing the curmudgeons who bellyache about the clowns they have to deal with.

Dave is sharing his “is this the must win game?” question that was a hit, BB is confirming it.

Dave is telling them about running into Jack Silver, who now runs a sports network despite knowing nothing about sports nor like sports, BB is now doing some Fake Jack Silver.

Adam is sharing his dumb time zone advice, Adam is doing his own FJS impression.

 

Dave Dameshek says Jack Silver is water under the bridge, yeah turd filled water under a troll’s bridge.

Dave is killing it and combining all of his complaints, mainly the Flatizza into the Creep, blaster time.

 

Adam has a hilarious “I think about comic books to much” reply to his flub mid live read for Stamps.com.

 

Alison’s News

1st Story Is on Robert Kraft calling into the Rich Eisen podcast, Alison is now reading some quotes from Robert, Adam is explaining the 3d realm that we don’t live in, only politicians and owning a team open you up to.

Adam is explaining that their press department wrote that for them and they need to be seen as considerate.

 

2nd Story is on a house party that devolved into a mini riot, Adam is bringing up the time he was in a van with Kimmel and the party goers started rocking it.

Dave remembers the story but wasn’t there, Adam is now praising Isla Vista for parties, explaining they used to shut down the streets and everyone would get shitfaced.

He quickly references the story of the time he was with a buddy high on mushrooms while he was high on speed and where he met his girlfriend, the one from the sorority, yeah the crying on the stairs/baseball mitt one.

 

Adam explains how the writer’s retreats would go, Adam is joking about Jeff Ross getting massages and how Cousin Sal would break in and fart on him, and he’s doing an impression of Jeff getting serious defending the “poor woman” masseuse.

Adam is bringing up the gig he had to do with Dr. Drew, Daniel suggested that Adam and Jimmy show up on fraternity row and hang out, Alison asks if Adam was involved with Lynette at this point, he says no, so it must have been 1999 or early 2000.

Adam is joking about their rush back to the van to escape and the idea of Cousin Sal behind the wheel of a car, he’s citing the time he got lost driving home when Adam first met him in the mid 90’s.

 

Alison is reading the details of the party, Adam is now joking about going back in time to explain to a sheriff in an old west town about all of the non-lethal ammo required to manage drunk people.

Adam wants to know what ever happened to the threat of “lethal” and he’s saying that everyone is so bold and narcissistic and entitled they don’t give a shit.

Adam “You’re not the boss of me man, fuck that shit! That’s right I’m barefoot and I’m riding a skateboard and it’s 9ft long, what are you going to do about it man?!”

 

Dave is sharing an anecdote about his son and his lack of concern for punishment and having toys taken away, Adam is now bringing up the hypocrisy of the rules cops operate under, citing the instances of cops who shoot civilians that don’t match any suspect and contrasting that against their inability to fire a gun and get people to calm down.

Alison references “nun with a gun” and Adam is joking about these drunk rioters searching for street materials to chuck at cops with guns on their hips.

Dave wants to know if anyone in real life ever dares anyone to shoot them in the head, Adam is asking about the scene where the guy is holding you in a headlock and you tell the other person to take the show.

Adam is now joking about what he would tell Lynette, he knows she would fuck it up and shoot him, Adam says the power move is shooting the bad guy through your friend, via a leg/flesh wound.

 

Alison is wrapping the news, Adam is now doing a live read for Draft Kings.com

BB is giving an update on his progress.

Adam is now giving out the plugs and wrapping up the show.

BB has an update on the latest bidding for his the early copy of his memoir on Ebay, all proceeds going towards the patent defense fund.

Great new closing drop from Dameshek.

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