Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 04/02/2014 – Maria Menounos, Kevin Undergaro, and Deaf Frat Guy
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Maria Menounos, Kevin Undergaro, and Deaf Frat Guy
Recorded 04-01-2014 – Release Date 04-02-2014
Production Number #1294
Adam is opening the show explaining the intro mix-up due to the guest change up and Dawson being out of town, BB’s #TopDrop leads into a discussion about “How To Be a Man” the movie from past guest Gavin McInnes.
BB is giving a quick review, Alison also saw it and enjoyed the acting*.
Adam says that acting is something people have decided is super difficult and it’s not, he says hosting and reading a teleprompter is far more difficult than acting, he’s explaining why and the notion of what you’re even supposed to do with your hands.
Adam is riffing “there are no second eulogies” with DFG about the recent death of his friend due to AEA, Adam has a great gymnastic rings fantasy metaphor for things you think you can pull off, he’s contrasting that to acting.
Alison says she has all kinds of gymnastic fantasies and Adam says it’s all about takies, how many takes you get dictates the outcome of your acting/performance.
DFG is telling them about a buddy Poochie’s uncle who was trying to play “Frankenstein” at guitar center, Adam is now doing a rendition of the song and DFG is explaining how Poochie’s Uncle has a usual set list for when he hangs out at Guitar Center.
DFG has a hilarious “do you have the lick?” question as BB plays it for Adam, DFG is going very in depth on what turns out to be an elaborate April fool’s day prank.
Adam is now doing a live read with a “friendly owl” bit.
DFG is telling them about his new title with CarollaDrinks, he’s going to be a spokesman for Mangria and is thanking Adam for his 1st job.
He’s promising to go to Abercrombie to get some new threads and Adam assures him he doesn’t need to “get ripped” to keep the job.
J.V. or All Balls
Adam is having DFG explain “Ookie Cookie” to the uninitiated and he’s telling them about his bro’s preferences for various cookies.
Adam wants to know would you even bother finishing on the cookie if you were the last one jacking, Alison is asking if a man can stop it while “it’s going” and Adam is telling them about the point of no return in air travel.
“Old men who pee at urinals with their hands at their hips”
Adam and BB are calling it All Balls and Adam is telling them about seeing old dudes shooting pool naked at the YMCA, he’s explaining that at some age one loses care for their modesty and others seeing them nude.
Alison wants to know why men need to hold their penis while urinating and the boys are explaining it to them, Adam is joking about the move advertising what a cool customer you are.
“Having a Piss jug next to your bed”
BB had one for a long time while he was sick, Adam is telling them about his Motts apple juice version when his shoulder was dislocated.
Adam is now once again referencing his mattress drain/gutter system.
“Tony Sirigusa hawking adult diapers”
Adam is sharing he’s noticed an inability to completely clear his urine stream, he gets some dribble.
Alison says the Tony Sirigusa commercial looks like a Man Show bit, Adam is joking about the color of your pants making a difference, he’s joking about the upside down heart on your ass after a hot summer day on a car seat.
“Taco Bell Executive Chef Lorena Garcia’s new breakfast menu”
Adam is joking about DFG being into her, he is but says she’s an executive, Alison reminds him that he is now as well.
Adam and BB are now riffing about Lorena telling people about her job while at a party, BB is the inquisitive party goer asking about her job.
They’re taking another lap around this riff and DFG is joining them as it wraps up.
DFG is praising this new menu and Adam is riffing about how original the items are on it, Adam is joking about waffles as taco shells basically inviting a terrorist attack or some kind of government intervention due to the caloric novelty.
“Inability to tie a necktie past the age of 21”
Adam says he’s guilty of that, BB is amazed despite Adam telling him this many times over the past decade.
Adam is explaining how he never had a suit as a young person and transitioned to a career in construction and boxing, he’s citing the brief period of teaching comedy traffic school and how his girlfriend made his tie for him.
Adam is walking them through his process of reusing his pre-tied tie, Adam is telling BB about his brown polyester GI worn at McDonalds, another thing BB has forgot.
Adam has a nice explanation that if you’re Richard Branson and can’t make a tie than its quaint, if you make less than 26k per year then it’s sad.
“Dudes who tuck in their Hawaiian shirts”
Adam says it’s J.V. but Magnum P.I. did it, DFG has a great reply estimating how often Tom Selleck sat on his balls while jumping into his Ferrari.
“The ads with Terry the former smoker”
Adam says he doesn’t want to even see the ads, DFG says he switched from dip to Jerky, he was fearing he would end up like Terry but for dip.
Adam is now quizzing DFG on his shower time dipping and use of “Grizzly” because of the superior price point.
Adam says images are either offensive or not, regardless of the message you’re trying to send or the people you’re trying to reach.
Adam is sharing his “lasagna test” idea and asking who these ads are really effecting.
“People who put stick figures of their family members on their minivan”
They all agree J.V. and Adam says the worst are the ones showing the family engaged in an activity, Adam is riffing on the idea of “we get it” in his new book.
Adam is riffing about how a minivan that looks like its circled the globe 33 times he understands a family is using it, he gets it.
DFG shares a possible all balls reasoning for the figures and Adam shatters some get stereotypes regarding transmission preference in automobiles.
They’re wrapping up the bit and Alison has a great follow up question, killing it!
DFG references Spanish fly and Adam is explaining how he was told the “dead on the gearshift” urban legend around his school and it was billed as a “true story.”
Adam is now doing a live read for Tire Rack, he’s closing it out and explaining how the site works.
BB is joining him as the dunce who doesn’t get the idea of the service.
DDG said he spent hours on the site too, he was looking for a new set of “Conts” continentals.
Q and Ace
1st caller Josh, he wants to know if Adam is still back in therapy, he’s citing how Joe Rogan and Adam got into the topic on his show.
Adam is explaining that his recent schedule messed up his new therapy attendance, much like DWTS interrupted him 6 years ago.
Alison mocks Adam with a “you just don’t want to change” and now the caller is chiming in some more and bringing up how it seems like Adam doesn’t even have a voice when it comes to his mom.
Adam is bringing up the 2006 KLSX battle of the mom’s between Adam’s mom and Dave Dameshek’s mom, Adam is explaining the details of it and BB is filling in the gaps.
Alison remembers the 10k Call Letters challenge with Adam’s dad and he’s now explaining that, he’s sharing the follow up 7500$ question that his dad couldn’t answer despite Jimmy Kimmel wearing a “Crank Yankers” T-Shirt at the time.
Adam is explaining that his dad did win one of the lesser questions, he’s sharing the Dr. Drew’s last name question.
Adam is telling them how he asked his dad how he knew Drew’s last name, of course it revolved around a personal medical referral which was just prior to the on air challenge.
Adam is explaining how his mom is, her persona and how dangerous it is to attempt comedy around or with her, Alison wants to know if his mom is insecure.
Adam says it’s a “wind force in gale-force winds” and that there is a little anger behind her demeanor, Adam is giving an example of how she’ll chime in with the antithesis of comedy.
2nd Caller Mark, there opening his call talking about Albuquerque being one of the names of towns used in comedy scenarios, Alison and BB are adding some others.
Mark wants Adam’s advice in dealing with his angry boss, who yells at even the good stuff and Adam is now doing an impression of a boss yelling at you while saying nice things, gold!
Ace Awards 2014 material, Mark is explaining how he’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop and BB throws Gary under the bus while trying to compare him to this caller.
Adam and Alison are commenting on people who never change and the likelihood someone will be any different, DFG takes it back to Taco Bell Exertive chef Lorena Garcia.
Adam is now doing a live read.
They’re heading to break.
They’re back from break with Maria and Kevin returning to the show, they were last on together on ACS #1032 and #1110.
Adam is now telling them about his dealing with Telepictures in response to Kevin’s comment, Adam is going off on what horrible piles of shit everyone who works for them is and how every talent hired by them hates them.
Adam is explaining why he can say whatever he wants, he tells them to suck his dick and comments on the pirate ship.
Kevin is telling them about after buzz and how it was inspired by Adam Carolla and the pirate ship, Kevin is telling them about his 10 years as a Carnie and how he also embraces the pirate ideology/spirit in business.
Kevin and Maria are telling them about Kevin’s handy father, who provides them with various home improvements, Adam has a killer bedroom reply.
Alison is commenting on how she likes the show and following Maria and the reality they focus on, unlike other “reality shows”.
Adam has a great “that’s what buds do” explanation for the time he and Jimmy had their sperm checked for a Man Show bit, Maria accidentally just revealed a plot point for the show.
Adam is forgetting his experience while dealing with fertility and his wife, he’s now getting to it and how the 20min rule for semen transport was in full effect.
Maria is sharing her reaction to the show, Kevin is telling her that sometimes she does get into “Hollywood rude” mode and is describing it.
Maria is now replying and sharing her take, how she’s seen as a nag and was even criticized by her crew for pressuring Kevin into the fertility testing.
Adam has a great “quiet cooze I’m talking” reply to Alison after he says you need to be courteous to those you work with and how you have more leeway with the person you love and live with it.
BB just played his new drop of Maria, she had a much larger reaction to the one from Kevin about 15min ago, Adam is now asking can’t you just directly ask the person you’ve been with to change behaviors for something as simple as a cap on a condiment bottle.
Adam is now asking why they never got married in their 16yrs together, he’s asking them if either one of them wants to get married now.
Maria is sharing how her father and Kevin and everyone blame her, Adam says it sounds like it might be her, Kevin says he’s afraid she’ll say no.
Maria is sharing her dream wedding vs. her husband’s idea for a Kardashian style bash.
Kevin is explaining how he wants a check and endorsements for the wedding, he wants to get paid to get married, funny almost reactions from the gang but Kevin and Maria push past it.
Maria is now saying that she got in trouble for imitating Kevin’s mom last time she was on the show and drunk on Mangria.
Adam is telling them about Kathy Griffin’s sponsored wedding, Alison is sharing how she wanted to do that and Kevin said he could have helped her to figure that out, Adam recommends “Golden Palace” across the back of a strapless gown adorned bride.
Adam is now doing a live read.
BB plays the “Quiet!” drop to Maria and Kevin while they talk over the legalese at the end of the live read, Adam is now explaining it to them and having BB play it again after the ad.
1st Story Is on the Earthquake in Chile, Adam doesn’t get the Richter scale and how the magnitude changes by 10k percent between numbers, he’s Alison wondering why only women are on the phone from Caltech when the news calls for experts.
Alison is comparing the Richter scale to bra sizing and Adam is riffing about it and Alison is now updating them with all of the possible dangers to the surrounding areas.
Adam is now joking about the “Tsunami Warning” for Hawaii still being evaluated, he has no idea how smart and dead on he is, I lived their 17 months and heard the Tsunami sirens many times.
Maria wants to know what all this activity means, Adam is joking about not normally talking plate tectonics, and he’s got a “series of small farts” explanation.
Adam is now going in depth on the asshole/epicenter earthquake riff and he’s warning everyone to look out, the slow rolling shit, or violent shaking shit.
Alison reports that there were over 100 aftershocks in Los Angeles after the last earthquake.
Maria is telling them an anecdote about mistaking a large man on a stairwell for an earthquake, Adam says it’s a context thing and explains how things seem when you live in L.A. vs. in Montana.
Adam is now doing a live read for “quad liberating shorts” Chubbies Shorts, Adam is giving out the bizarre promo code.
2nd Story Is on Obama’s speech and update on the affordable care act, Alison is commenting on the republican agenda to repeal this law.
BB is explaining how this act has affected him after Adam explains he’s not sure whose life this effects.
Adam says he’s used to the tax increases, he’ll pay a fortune and everyone will hate him.
Maria is telling Adam about her parents and how she has to support them, Adam is telling her it’s not luck and she should view it as earned and own it.
Alison just realized that Dawson is in South America and is worried about him.
3rd Story Is on the end of “Chelsea Lately” and Alison reports that she’s been complaining about E! Much like Adam and Telepictures, Adam explains the differences.
Kevin says he’s not sure that her audience will follow her to a different network, Adam is discussing ratings points in the 90’s vs. today.
Adam and Drew on Loveline the MTV version got 1-2 million viewers per show and re-run and made 900$ per show vs. Chelsea’s half a million viewers and 9 million per year.
Kevin is explaining how fantasies that Adam and Chelsea have are different than any other performers.
Alison is now wrapping up the news.
Adam is doing a live read.
Kevin wants to bring up “Catch a Contractor” and they’re all discussing the 4th episode, Maria has a very impassioned reaction to the husband from the couple.
Adam is explaining what he told the producers about an upcoming episode where a contractor ran down the street, Adam says they need to throw one in once in a while where it doesn’t end with the same cookie cutter pattern complete with a “women faking orgasms” analogy.
Adam is now wrapping up the show.