Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 03/24/2015 – Jo Koy

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 03/24/2015 – Jo Koy

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Jo Koy

Recorded 03-23-2015 – Release Date 03-24-2015

Production Number #1537

Show Page

Adam opens the show to a ‘Matt Damon’ intro from Dawson, Jo Koy is in studio and Adam welcomes BB and Gina.

Adam says that Jo mentioned he was tired before the show started and he’s never heard that form him before, he’s telling them about his intense promotional tour for his Vegas show.

Jo says he took the entire week off and doesn’t even have his voice, it was rough.

 

Adam comments on the people who make your schedule not having to live your schedule, he’s mocking the tightly shoehorned schedules that have haunted him for years now.

Jo is telling them what his mom thinks he’s doing while he’s promoting his shows, Adam is joking about making his wife a fake ‘Swiffer’ for her to use as a prop when he’s about to return from the road.

Adam is now in defense of her about her doing work on the laptop and he further attempts to explain why it’s so disheartening.

 

Adam says he misses the day of women wearing rags, Gina and Adam both have specific pronunciations and now Jo is telling them about his horrible life and trashed home.

Jo demands Adam call him Joy, he says he’s going to have to start making Joy shirts and now Adam is telling fans to please yell Joy, Jo is telling them about giving his dad his old car.

Jo tells them about his dad’s advice to look at the ground for lost money, Adam is bringing up the way he used to lease his dad fine automobiles, and he says it was first an Infinity and then eventually a Jaguar.

 

Adam is explaining what a bad business man his father is and uses selling burritos from a truck to make a point about “trying to help you” and is now telling them about his stepmom’s CRV.

Adam says that’s the car you drive when you don’t want to spend a lot on fuel, Adam is telling them about paying for his dad’s Jaguar month to month and how he would consistently show up in his wife’s CRV.

Adam was trying to explain him the idea of waste and financial depreciation, Adam says that he took his dad’s car away and is now bringing up his dad’s argument in response.

 

Gina asks if his dad is a 15yr old girl, Adam has a killer reply and is now taking it back to his lack of business sense.

BB is now echoing Adam’s argument, Adam is explaining how his dad was trying to save gas money while wasting much more in lease payments and prepaid miles along with depreciation on the car they owned.

Adam is sharing how his dad didn’t understand why this meant anything to him, BB and Gina both see Adam’s side of the argument.

 

Adam is sharing how he was able to get psychological traction with him regarding his love of playing the trumpet, Adam tells them about his dad going to trade school to learn how to play, and Jo has a killer response.

Adam has a killer “Bubble Lung” one liner while talking about Lawrence Welk, Adam is now back to how he was able to speak to his dad through the metaphor of a new trumpet.

Adam is sharing the example as he presented it to his dad, Jim then finally got Adam’s point once it was put into trumpet form.

 

Jo is telling Adam about his dad playing bass and how its’ just wasted time at this point, Adam has a solid ‘Barney Miller’ reference.

 

Adam is doing a live read for Vegas.com

Adam just returned from there, the last bastion of the white cab driver, BB asks about this being in the copy, good stuff.

 

Adam is telling Jo about an email from Jimmy regarding the upcoming Mayweather and Pacquiáo fight, Adam is now suggesting proper PPV party etiquette and how to payback some of the bill.

Jo is saying to not bring a friend without asking, BB has a funny reaction to Jo’s emphatic take on this.

Jo is saying you can’t go into a person’s house without bringing something, Adam is now suggesting a “pay what you can” Radiohead model with a can for contributions.

 

Q and Ace

1st Caller Nick, he loved ‘Road Hard’ and wants to ask Jo about his type, Adam asks if his road hookups can ever lead to anything real.

Adam is explaining why Jo gets women to feel safe due to his fame, Gina rightfully points out the similarity to what Cosby did and Adam agrees, now Jo is busting out a hilarious Cosby impression.

Adam is now saying that every guy he knows would prefer hot a chick of any nationality vs. a 5 of their own race, he’s making a larger point about racism saying guys vote with their cock and balls, all race is trumped by hot.

Nick wants to know about Adam’s boner for ‘Road Hard’ and says it was a lime and toilet paper roll, Adam jokes about asking for the smallest lime and Jo is mocking the toilet paper roll, Adam jokes that “Toilet Paper Roll” is the worst type of sushi he’s ever sampled, gold!

 

2nd Caller John, he wants to know if Adam ever met Bjork during his time at KROQ and on Loveline, Adam says he loves her but never met her to his recollection.

She might have been on the MTV show, MTV Loveline but it’s unlike she did the radio show, Adam says he may have passed her in the halls.

Adam loves her music and her persona, Jo asks about the Mayweather vs. Pacquiáo fight and explains how feels the promoter of this fight might influence the outcome.

 

Adam is explaining how the judges will have to be properly vetted and is now giving examples of how they can chart someone’s talent by comparing their scorecard to the other judges.

Adam is not worried about that, Adam says his only worry is about Mayweather turning his pressure down until the 12th round, unconcerned with who wins in order to get a 2nd and possible 3rd fight.

Gary wrote Adam a note about a 5 million dollar fine suggestion from Manny’s people about failed rugs tests.

 

Adam is doing a Simply Safe live read

 

3rd Caller Melinda, she is fresh from a session with her son’s principal’s office and explains how her son was suspended for a sexual harassment claim instigated by said principal.

Melinda is fired up, Adam says there is a war on young boys and all the things that young boys do has been outlawed, the things ingrained in young men in their DNA not things people claim are influenced by society.

BB is telling them about kissing a pretty girl in school, Adam jokes about what would happen to a kid today for doing that and references ‘Papillion’ and Melinda is back on the line, she mocks the physicality for the principal and Adam says that people should refuse to attend sexual harassment meetings ordered by corporations.

 

Melinda is ranting about the lack of sports and options for her son and the other boys in his school, Adam is now explaining how everyone has to fake outrage to protect their ass in case of future incidents.

Adam is now telling Gary about a clip from Dennis Prager’s show and has a killer “Cunt’s R Us’ one liner where he describes the college debate with an emotional support room for audience members who can’t handle the conversation.

Adam is asking Jo how excited the Chinese must be for this trend in American culture, he’s got a funny reply in character.

 

Gina brings up ‘Take Back the Night’ marches and she describes how women name their attackers at the end of the march, Gina says it made her very uncomfortable and Adam explains why that makes sense to him.

Adam is back to the war on young boys where boys are encouraged to act like girls, instead of meeting in the middle it’s just implied and expected for young boys to give up their traditional interests.

Adam is telling them about his son wanting to shoot hoop while his daughter was doing something completely unrelated.

 

Adam is doing a Draft Kings live read

 

Jo is taking it back to boys, he says his son Drew a pig with a dick for a nose and is now quoting the teacher who was concerned, and Jo says his son claimed it was just a pig.

Adam says his son just completed his mandated therapy session, as ordered by the school.

Jo has a more recent example, funny stuff.

 

Adam says that his son is fine and is a normal 3rd grade boy who wants to leave the classroom and run and play when there is shit to be done, how little boys are wired.

Adam says his son is perfectly sweet, well-mannered and simply not into hanging out indoors with a middle aged woman.

Adam says that everything is all about checking a box, removing liability.

 

Adam says that you don’t get more normal than his son, when BB thaws out his Jizz and makes a baby he’ll have to go through the same thing.

 

4th Caller Luke, he can’t wait for a Baldywood on ‘it Follows’ and asks Adam if he’s tried to buy pants recently, Adam says he’s cursed with a 35 inch waste and Luke is ranting about pants being too small.

Adam is ranting about the designers whose clothes run smaller than most, Adam is connecting this to the steak join that has their own measurements for rare and well done.

Adam just wants units of measurement to be uniform, Adam is arguing for a uniformity and Gina takes it to penis measurements.

 

Gina’s News

1st Story is on Darren Sharper and his variety of rape charges, Adam is now asking if Darren couldn’t perhaps be a lost love child of Bill Cosby.

Adam asks what these guys are thinking, Jo doesn’t understand this and says 9 weird, now BB is playing the Nine Times drop.

Jo asks if Darren didn’t just have a bad lawyer and cites the R. Kelly court case and the video tape evidence.

 

Adam wants them to check and see if Darren knows his dad.

Adam references Jason Sehorn and is now further using the picture Gary found to argue that Darren Sharper is son of the Coz.

Adam has a killer handful of pubes riff about an NFL kicker.

 

2nd Story is on the newly announced ‘Fraggle Rock’ movie with Joseph Gordon Levitt, Gina has them play the theme song and BB says the Muppet movie reboot was great.

Adam jokes about his son being prison by then and not able to enjoy the movie, Gary confirms that Shaper does know his dad.

BB is now asking for Gary to match up Cosby’s tour schedule for 1975.

 

3rd Story is on a woman who grabbed her attacker by the hair and dragged him to the police station, Adam is asking if Indian chicks have gotten much hotter in the last few years.

Adam says that Indian chicks are the Audi’s of hot chicks, stepping their game up only very recently.

Adam is saying that Madonna declaring an Indian woman the best looking woman on the world, BB is vaguely remembering the woman and her unfortunate kiss from Richard Gere.

 

Adam is asking Gina about the headlock and jokes about how a drunk guy would react to a headlock when hitting on a woman.

Gina is bringing up her multiple pepper spray/mace canisters and mentions her firearm.

She tells them about having to use her pepper spray before, Adam is now riffing about a vaginal pepper spray for a last minute solution, he’s now suggesting vaginal dye packs and Jo riffs with him about it.

 

4th Story is on a woman who “got hooked on dem booty shots” and died after the 4th butt injection, Gina asks BB not to make this a drop.

Jo gets Adam to say the quote, Adam says he’s naïve about the booty and Jo says that black-market plastic surgery will likely kill you.

Adam shares his only recent acceptance of the ass related shenanigans, Adam jokes about this eventually leading to fake arches and plastic surgery for feet.

 

Adam says his dick isn’t enough to enjoy Nicki Minaj and her huge ass, Gina is asking follow up questions and asks Adam how it would go if she was in the studio, he says it would be a blowjob and an apology from him, BB has a nice follow up.

Jo is telling them about a porn he saw where a guy had a giant dong.

 

Adam is doing a Stamps.com live read

 

5th Story Is on a fight between two MTA drivers in NYC, she’s got the details and Adam says it’s nice to hear the two Italian names.

Adam jokes about it sounding very old timey and has a funny “dirigible news” line.

Gina seems to doing an off mic old timey boxing stance, Adam is now asking Bung Lu Su about gelato and Italian food.

 

Adam is now talking to him about the invention of the noodle, he is asking him about various pasta and asks if the Muslim guys who sport bowties also eat more bowtie pasta.

Bung is now saying how dare you and they are arguing about Adam not being able to get a booth at ‘Mr. Chows’ restaurant.

Adam doesn’t want any gelato, this riff is insane.

 

Bung is now saying Adam is the only celebrity who repeatedly declares they’re a celebrity, Bung is consulting with his fictional kitchen staff.

Adam is now asking for empty to go containers, he says he’s going to need 8 empty containers to not look like an asshole, Adam wraps up the scene.

 

6th Story is on a guy who claims his lip tattoo ‘Isis’ the name of his ex-girlfriend, Adam has a killer “Anus and Eyeball” buddy cop riff.

Adam says you shouldn’t share the inside lip tattoo with too many folks, Adam is bringing up the princess Isis from a cartoon he can’t recall, Gina brings up ‘Archer’ and Adam gives out a plug.

 

7th Story is on medical marijuana for pets, Adam says we’re not going rest until everyone is stoned and is joking about ants losing their will to work.

Gina asks about Molly getting some weed, Adam says that he was given some homemade treats for his dog and was told he could eat them too, Adam says that “you could eat ‘em too” equals you’re going to hate them and the dog will too.

Adam thinks dogs want guts and slimy shit, Gina wraps the news.

 

Adam is doing a live read for Chubbies shorts

“Is that really the code?” – BB

 

8th Story is on Utah reinstating the option and use of firing squads for death penalty convictions.

Adam is saying that death is death and uses BB’s initial death sentence from his doctor to make a point, Adam asks what’s faster being shot or giving a lethal injection.

Gina is giving her take on hanging, Jo laments being shot in the knee and Adam is joking about that scenario and references ‘Pulp Fiction’.

 

Adam and jo give out the closing plugs and wrap up the news.