05 Apr Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 03/21/2016 – Greg Fitzsimmons and Mark Geragos
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Greg Fitzsimmons and Mark Geragos
Recorded 03-20-2016 – Release Date 03-21-2016
Production Number #1782
Adam opens the show with a standard intro, he thanks the fans for tuning in and plugs the upcoming live show guests in St. Louis.
BB has Adam’s “I Knew There was a Reason I hated you” quote as today’s #TopDrop and he tells the gang about returning from Willow Springs and cites a conversation with Frankie Muniz about Toyota leaving the state of California which leads to an extended rant from Adam about corporations going where the money is.
BB asks about the pressure to win the final Toyota Grand Prix and Adam explains that only multiple winners are competing and why it’s such a high stakes race.
Greg Fitzsimmons walks in during the show, Adam and BB talk about him being late/not being late and you hear Greg take a sip into the mic.
Adam is going on about the race and how easy it is to lose with only pros, he cites Cain Velasquez and Wanda Sykes as the types of racers missing this year.
Gina asks about Adam’s personal history, hilarious Bill (William) Fichtner reference from Adam who pledges to a take shower when he gets home.
Adam tells them about his rat poop in his perm after doing the kitchen remodeling.
Greg brings up St. Patrick’s Day and the stereotypes about Irish people, Adam talks about people being able to make fun of your people meaning you’ve arrived, when cracker doesn’t make you sad you’re winning.
Adam and Greg both have solid one liners and Greg tells them about Irish people never leaving the neighborhood, just buying a shitty track/row house with an extra floor.
Adam plugs Greg’s live dates and Greg is telling them about his son, Adam talks about bringing his kids to as many of these shows and events as he can.
Adam talks about the kids at Bruce Springsteen last night with Lynette.
Adam says his kids will never forget that Bruce show, he’s got a killer one day of class that you’ll never forget that doesn’t involve molestation.
Adam shares the horrors of the time he wrote gurl with a u on the chalkboard at school, instead he could have been doing the leeway shuffle with Bob Skaggs and his mom.
BB plays some and Adam calls it a great “one song” summation of what you like and BB recalls Adam dancing to this song during his wedding reception.
Adam is sharing the horrors of writing left handed on a chalkboard, solid ‘Regarding Henry’ reference from Adam.
Greg talks about editing his set live on stage and shares how his son has outgrown him and he drops some killer one liners.
Adam is recalling the time he was tossing water balloons from the top of the 711 with his buddy, they got an upset motorist who insisted they call their parents or he would call the cops.
Adam is sharing the details of his buddy James call and how the older brother left the phone off the hook.
Adam shares how he told the guy he could kick his as at 18, funny.
Greg talks about his wife and his live shows, he shares how his wife doesn’t get to see the full act and he shares a “dick stuffed in her mouth” closer with a funny comment from Gina.
Adam is sharing the story of the time he first played the Aladdin theater in Portland and how his step sister and their family were coming and how he censored the first show thinking they were in the audience only to realize they hadn’t been there and were now going to get the fully explicit set.
They quickly comment on the Hulk Hogan case and Adam shares how WAZE has been updated and how products should be modified based on his feedback.
Adam has a great “go down on his old lady” comment while joking about WAZE directing him through Tommy Lasorda’s home, Adam is explaining how WAZE should notify you what kind of slowdown is ahead of you, he says the app now does that and BB comments on Gary perfecting the bit on the last episode.
Gary is on mic explaining the update to WAZE and Adam is sharing his advance commute time idea they now have as well.
Adam brings up the lack of off switches on modern tech, he talks about fiddling with the Nest thermostat trying to turn it off while they have construction going on, Adam was pleased that his wife also couldn’t make it work.
Gary explains he needs to use the app to shut it off.
Gain brings up Adam having to basically bury his smoke detector and he chuckles while recalling it.
Adam is sharing a funny video, he comments on people with the “you’re no better” comments aimed at him for bringing his dog around and to his warehouses.
Adam explains why these asswipes are wrong and he can bring his dog to his places, Greg says the premise of this show is that Adam is better than the audience, Adam recalls the old Loveline program director who told him not to talk about first class travel.
Adam is talking about famous people of his youth being nothing like his family, Ann Margaret is not anything like the lump of shit that is his mother.
Adam jokes about relating to characters and Adam is explaining how Phil E. Cheesesteak is on the surveillance camera with Matt Fondiler from the shop, Matt was chasing Phil around the studio and Gary put the footage to Wacky Sax.
Adam mocks Matt’s lack of lateral maneuverability.
Adam is doing a Bet DSI Live Read
Gary bet against his own team, inspired by Adam
Adam talks about the logic of putting money on your team to lose, to remove the sting of the loss.
Mark Geragos is joining them for a phoner, he just got off an airplane for a case in Texas.
Adam is asking him about the Hulk Hogan ruling and how it compares to the Erin Andrews case, he talks about the likelihood of an appeal and why it’s shocking the case has gotten as far as it did.
Adam and Mark discuss the posturing of the Gawker executives and CEO.
Adam attempts a wife name joke, but Mark steamrolls him and he abandons the attempt.
Adam is joking about the case and Mark talks about the bifurcation of the case, he explains the term to Adam unaware he knows it from sexual reassignment surgery.
Adam asks about Hulk being able to liquidate Gawker’s assets and Adam talks about the value vanishing from an online business unlike an asset of a furniture shop from a bygone era of commerce.
Mark is telling them about a case in Texas his buddy was trying against an artificial hip manufacturer.
Greg asks about Bubba the Love Sponge’s wife and Mark has a killer turn of phrase, Gina knows all about the Hulkster’s dong size testimony and Adam moves past it.
Adam wraps up with Mark.
Adam has a killer Eunice the Love sponge riff, he takes it to his siblings and gets his joke in mocking names, he just had to wait.
Adam talks about the movie ‘Idiocrasy’ and they riff about Dax Shepard’s role in the movie.
BB asks if Adam has ever taken the kids to see one of his live shows and he explains why he hasn’t and how a recent mixup with Sonny and violence led to him only confirming his presumptions about Sonny’s nature.
Adam is talking about earning societal credit for being a good person, Greg has a vehicular manslaughter example and he explains what a wonderful hugger Sonny is, Gina offers to take care of Natalia for any live events.
Gary is praising the kids for not complaining during the 4hr concert, Gary plays them a clip of the kids enjoying the show.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Ryan, he’s calling about a suicide in the basement of the home he put an offer in for, Adam is now trying to think of the most likely modality for basement suicides.
Adam is talking about attempting to hang himself and mixes up Ralph Fiennes with Ray Combs.
Adam is asking about the disclosure and now riffing a scene with BB as the realtor and homeowner talking about the corpse being left behind.
Greg has a killer lowball on the house one liner aimed at Ryan, Adam is now saying he would use it for negotiation tactics and how once they move he can use it to make his fiancé get under the sheets in fear.
Gina talks about an experiment she’s aware of and Greg shares the story of moving into the home where the “Chelsea bloodbath” took place.
Adam is now bringing up his late grandmother who moved into her late brother’s home after his suicide.
Adam is going over the conversation with his grandma who couldn’t wrap her mind around the logic, Greg talks about the brains and pellets making its way through the skull into the wall, they poorly spackled over. Adam moves on without comment.
Adam is doing a Carbonite Live Read
Imagine if your book was erased edition
2nd Caller Mark, he’s a huge fan from Kirkland Washington and he wants Adam’s take on Donald Trump, he wants to know what kind of person he is to Adam.
Mark says he felt like Trump liked Adam, Adam has a killer “I jerked him off in a cab” comment and explains how Trump is perpetually in agreeable coach mode.
Adam explains it’s akin to Bill O’Reilly and how he interacts with people.
Adam is unsure what Trump thought of him and is trying to recall cracking jokes on ‘The Apprentice’ and Adam goes in depth on his thoughts on Trump and how he must always be on the move, getting things done.
Adam is now sharing a story of his kids playing racquetball in the afternoon while he was napping while explaining how you can tell what kind of person or boss you’re dealing with based on their scared staffers.
Adam cites Ellen and David Letterman.
Adam is talking about the lack of rules about engaging with trump during his appearance on season 5, Gary mixes up the regular show and the celebrity editions as he tries to imply Adam was on season 12.
Adam is now recalling doing ‘The Marriage Ref’ and Mark asks if Adam calls bullshit when people call Trump a racist and Adam explains his theory on that word being fucked out and the lack of actions meaning more than any claim.
Adam has a killer “brown on brown” joke one liner.
Adam feels like we could have pulled off these stories about everyone being a racist better back in the old west, funny Calamity Jane example.
Adam says it’s the height of narcissism to think the next president is coming for you, Adam is now telling everyone the president doesn’t know who you are and doesn’t give a fuck.
Adam is now defending his use of Villaretardo and he mocks his comments about “having a lot of service left in him” and he cites his 80min work days.
Adam is going off on Newsom and Villaretardo and he explains he doesn’t think Gavin is dumb and threatens to drown him in the deep water if he ever comes back.
Adam is talking about the underground economy intentionally avoiding the IRS and not playing in the system, he has some good logic.
3rd Caller Kristy, she’s calling about Adam’s countertops and floor choices in his new home and she agrees with Adam’s logic about equality and homework.
Adam says his wife would have quit her job to keep up with the kids’ projects and goes on a jag about what a time consuming mess homework is, he says it’s utterly worthless.
Adam predicts floating liver syndrome and white lung conditions along with a form of scoliosis for kids due to backpack weight.
Adam says he and his wife have a combined 4th grade education and jokes about -0 being his breaking point with math equations and Adam is riffing about his wife having to play the kids against each other and threaten Sonny with being left behind with “Hudson” which BB loves.
BB asks when the average kid passes their parents in math, he says that Sonny passed Lynette in math in 3rd grade and Natalia passed him in reading and writing also in 3rd grade.
Adam says he still has the edge on Sonny with math, Gina brings up cosigns and Adam jokes about the only ones he knows about being when his buddy Ray needs a new truck.
Adam, is going over his preferences for floors and counter tops.
Gina’s News
1st Story is on the Hulk Hogan lawsuit, she has all of the details of the ruling and awarded judgment.
BB has a killer Million Dollar Man reference that BB loves.
Adam asks if this was Bubba’s fetish and he says either you’re into this or you’re not, Greg has a hypothetical necrophilia joke.
Adam is talking about going after a lady with his “chapstick” and everyone goes silent, not reacting to his hilarious joke, Adam says he would have let the Honky Tonk man take a run at Lynette.
Greg has his own hypothetical and BB has a killer Hulk Hogan impression where he says “that’s not going to happen brother.”
Adam is now sharing how he is going to use this tape as a life lesson to his kids, he recalls the racist remarks on the tape and how he can tie this into a lost little league game or Natalia not going to the prom with the guy she wanted to ask her.
BB is playing some of Hulk’s theme music ‘Real American’ and Adam moves onto a live read.
Adam is doing a Legal Zoom Live Read
2nd Story is on Donald Trump’s latest twitter campaign against Megyn Kelly, Gina reads the quotes from Fox News defending their employee and Adam jokes about Megyn taking the top slot of women most miserable to be underneath him for some sexing.
BB argues that Scarlett Johansson would be more disgusted and Adam jokes about her thinking of the factor and jokes about it talking less time if she left the hair extensions in.
Adam is now talking about hot chicks who are perpetually bouncing against the rev limiter of beauty and how they will always chop all their hair off in a pixie cut and everyone lies to them that they look better.
Adam name checks Natalia Imbruglia and Greg brings up the cliché about gay hairdressers making women more masculine and less attractive.
Greg says it’s a hair short of a reap reaction, Adam is now saying that Scarlett should be there to hand Megyn some water and help out, by the grace of god Scarlett could have been the one underneath him, sending Scarlett on drug store runs and emptying out the trash can.
Adam asks if they are like him, BB has a killer no reply
Adam is talking about not being able to throw away magazines.
3rd Story is on the latest skull found near the Hollywood sign, Adam talks about growing up hearing about these stories of suicidal dead starlets, he says they all now just work at coffee shops and give him the stink eye.
Adam wants distraught actresses to kill themselves more often, Gina has the details on the skull and says she’s never seen a skull or mountain lion while hiking Griffith Park, just used condoms.
Adam is explaining how there is no straight version of that, Gina agrees these are used by gay dudes.
Adam has a killer sex in a hedge with a park ranger joke, Adam is talking about living up there and the old lady who grew up in the house showed him photos of her as a kid.
Adam is joking about the old timey outfits for photographs and how kids in the furfure will just see their parents wearing sweat pants, the old woman told him about the lightbulbs that used to illuminate the sign at night.
Adam is talking about how Hugh Heffner got his rich buddies to chip in and repair the sign, Adam talks about the abandoned community of Hollywoodland.
Gina wraps the news.
Adam is doing a SimpliSafe Live Read
Adam is giving out the plugs and wraps up the show.