Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 03/20/2014 – Robert Wagner

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Robert Wagner

Recorded 03-19-2014 – Release Date 03-20-2014

Production Number #1285

Show Page

Adam is opening the show to an excellent and recent top drop, Adam is telling them about Robert’s involvement in the documentary and his old-school nature, citing his quest to get approval from Paul Newman’s widow before appearing in the film.

Adam says “It Doesn’t Have to Be That Difficult” about these productions and gathering celebrity interviews, he’s now using Bryan Cranston as a counterpoint to dealing with middleman and publicists.

BB has a great use of “B Wags” Adams nickname for Robert Wagner, Alison has a nice moment mocking bald Bryan.

 

Adam is now riffing with BB about celebrity golf and fishing events and the endless list of C and D lister’s instead of who you would hope for.

Adam is referencing “Oceans 11″ and Adam is now doing a hilarious improv back and forth with BB manning the Elliott Gould drops, Adam is telling him about walking out of the theater during “Oceans 13″.

Adam is now quizzing Elliott about the casting process and he’s being very combative, this is comedy gold and possibly Ace awards 2014 material.

 

Adam is now bringing up young shirtless Brad Pitt from “Thelma and Louise” and he’s transitioning back to their guest Robert and how his show “Hart to Hart” was a staple of his babysitting days.

Alison says she’s surprised anyone would trust their children with Adam Carolla, Adam is telling Alison about his neighbors and his confusion over their lack of a “Sofa Sheet”.

Adam is now making a point about impoverished people witnessing luxury and wealth on television and contrast to the notion of not exposing children to negativity and depressing reality.

 

Alison wants to know if there are even shows like this anymore and now Adam is demanding that Gary find him the opening to “Hart to Hart” and now they’re playing it, like that!

Adam is now offering live commentary over the intro and wishes he could be a fly on the wall in the pitch meeting when some coked up executive was pitching this.

BB is now having Adam explain the premise of the show and Alison seems to get it, Adam says the bubble bath has gone the way of the dodo, and reminisces about wanting to kill himself while babysitting.

 

Adam is now doing live read for bark box.com, while referencing the dog freeway.

 

Adam is telling them about the Geraldine Stevens counter point of view to the song Ruby, Adam was tweeted about this from a fan and has completely forgotten about discovering this back in the radio show days after Norm guested and broke down the song Ruby along with Coward of the County.

Adam is defending the reasoning for songs creation and joking about Lynette having her own song lamenting am requesting that she rinse out her used coffee mug.

Their now playing the song Billy, Adam says it’s unfair because basically the same song and BB has a great reaction to the line about the Korean War.

 

Adam is doing live commentary mocking the lyrics and the reality hidden behind the pretty sound and lyrics, Alison BB are offering some funny commentary to.

Adam wants to know if there’s a third song from the neighbors, BB is now calling for a third perspective song from their child witnessing these arguments, Dawson says the dog should write it.

Adam is doing a plug for the upcoming patent troll defense fund benefit.

 

Mr. Brightside

1st caller Brian, he spells his name like a man and he’s relaying his story to them about being the manager of a Subway restaurant.

Brian says that one day he woke to a call from the owner asking who entered the establishment while there closed on a Sunday, the toaster was replaced with a shittier toaster and Adam says this is a story as old as time.

“You don’t mess with the man’s toaster” – Adam Carolla, Adam has a great one-liner replacing a horse with a toaster and is now joking about the corporate espionage that will take place if Quiznos finds out about his toaster situation.

 

Adam is having him clarify what he thinks went down and now Adam is asking him about hypothetically being single and wants to know if unemployed versus manages a Subway is better, he predicts that Brian is married.

Adam is now asking how to put a happy spin on this toaster debacle, Brian is going in depth on the store and its grosses and how the disabled toaster is hurting business.

Adam is now putting a really positive spin on this about his location, Minneapolis and the lack of responsibility of a job like this, Adam is now telling him the dark side of success and referencing his phone call with James “Baby Doll” Dixon about Spike wanting another 20 episodes taped in July.

 

Adam wishes he could be closed on weekends, Adam says he’ll never miss a Saturday of ice fishing and getting drunk because of his profession, Adam says it’s time to go cowboy and start making egg salad sandwiches, he’s now riffing the devil salad sandwich, Bryans deviled sub.

Alison wants to know how Adam knew that Brian was in a long-term relationship based on his profession, they are now getting back on the line with Brian and asking him about his relationship.

Adam is going in depth on his history with her and joking about the crappy plastic gloves at Subway restaurants and he tells them that they have backup surgical gloves for people who are allergic to polyurethane.

 

2nd caller Lee, he has teenage children one with special needs and two younger children with other disabilities.

Adam is praising technology and availability of cochlear implants and he’s trying to walk Nick backwards from his darkness, his got a great point about the two-year-old with deafness having a great story as an adult.

Nick has a great DFG reference and now Adam is painting a realistic and somewhat rosy picture, he’s now listing off the variety of American treasures who’ve gone through life with only one eye, BB has a well-placed reference to “Austin Powers”.

 

Adam has a great “pullout and come in moms hair” reply and he’s now telling Nick about the “Road Hard” and now he’s riffing about having a special needs son.

Adam and BB are now starting up improv scene, the classic special needs at the office one.

Hilarious wake board and baseball mitt comedy, Adam is now taking his bosses supply of Zima and Tequiza.

 

Adam is killing it with this riff about the newly renamed “Rocky” and BB is right in the mix backing him up, really funny improv.

 

3rd Caller Jason, his girlfriend was diagnosed with cervical cancer a year and a half ago, now she’s experiencing the same symptoms of when she was first diagnosed.

Adam is making a point about cervical cancer being preferred over ovarian in terms of survival rates, Adam now has a point about people who frequent the doctor and are able to find things early, unlike the losers Adam is used to, who never go to the doctor.

Adam is now asking Jason about her mental status in light of this diagnosis, he’s telling them about her job as a freelance writer and Adam says a book about this topic would be cathartic, BB then downgrades it to a simple column, doesn’t want any competition.

Adam is now making some beautiful points about love and intimacy, he’s being super honest about both scenarios and outcomes, he’s making them very positive and Jason has a telling chuckle indicating he’s thought of this before.

 

4th Caller George is praising Adam’s deviled eggs subs idea, he’s telling them about his best friend, a female and their eventual engagement.

George is telling them he relocated for her, she then revealed herself to be cheating on him with a cop, and Adam has a great reply asking about cops and their nefarious off duty activities.

Adam is now saying the worst sentence in life is “Crazy Mama” and the idea of having to be associated that person the rest of your life, BB has a great point and Adam says bullet dodged.

 

Allison and Adam had a hilarious “Perp Juice” riff as they wrap up the segment.

Adam is now doing a live read.

They’re going to break.

 

They’re back from break with Robert Wagner making his ACS debut, Adam is singing Roberts praises for participating in the Paul Newman racing documentary, Adam is explaining that Paul and Robert had to attend the same racing Academy.

Robert is now telling them about their entire history learning how to race, Adam is asking Robert about his journey and Robert is telling them about running Santa Monica high “With an Iron Fist” as Adam puts it.

Adam is giving out the plugs for Robert’s website and book.

 

Robert just referenced his late wife Natalie Wood and he is telling Adam and the gang about being under contract for studio.

Adam is now asking if Robert was ever set up as an escort to disguise someone’s sexuality, Robert says he was escort to many young starlets.

Adam is telling Robert about attending Kevin Costner’s movie premiere for an independent film he made and he citing Kevin’s uncertainty it will ever be released in theaters.

 

Adam is now asking Robert about his first big break, Robert says it was “A Song in My Heart” and he’s describing to the gang, Robert just described himself as a “Bobby Socks Idol” and now Robert is confirming it was a very good time indeed, clearly code for 1960s pussy.

Robert and Adam are discussing the differences between celebrity culture and fame in the 1960s vs. today.

Adam says acting was acting before Marlon Brando, comparing it to acting in Mexico featured on their soap operas, Robert is confirming Adam’s theory about a shift in acting style and abilities.

 

Adam is now just talking about “Hart to Hart” and Robert is indulging him, they’ve now segued to his book and the themes of it, and he’s describing the premise.

Adam wants to know if there’s a time to be in Hollywood as a famous young man, Robert says the late 30s.

Adam wants to know if Robert ever encountered anyone along the way in a lowly position who’ve been transcended that and became very successful in Hollywood.

 

Robert is reminiscing and dropping some classic names, Adam wants know how different the city is and Robert says bigger and more dispersed.

Robert is explaining why Hollywood was important in the past including studio lots, he and Adam both commiserate on how they’re no longer used.

Adam is now doing a live read.

 

Alison’s News

1st Story is on Bill Belichick suggesting they extend the goalposts in a recent NFL conference call in advance of some preliminary meetings before the season.

Adam is now explaining this to Robert so he will be able to understand Adams passion and fervor over this topic, thanks to a nice assist from Alison.

Adam is once again confirming that everything he complains about will always come to fruition and Alison notes that Adam Carolla is credited in the article, yes!

Adam is now sharing his other bit of soothsaying regarding the coin toss and kick rule he was complaining about.

 

2nd Story is an update on the missing Malaysian Airlines flight, Alison is now describing a hysterical scene from a grieving family member protesting the lack of information surrounding the planes disappearance.

Adam is asking Alison what the latest theories are, Adam says this is the problem with the kooky countries, we don’t know if the telling the truth or not.

Alison is updating Adam and he’s asking where are all the drones, Alison is making a point about surveillance of the possibility of dark pockets, Adam is now riffing dark pockets as a terrible breakfast treat.

Adam is now talking about “Towering Inferno” and the billing on the poster, is doing some commentary on Irwin Allen and his genre of disaster movies in the 1970s, Adam is praising the eclectic cast.

 

3rd Story is on a teenager who was adopted squirrel now lives in her hair, in light of Adams recent complaints about squirrels and their squirrel like behavior.

Adam and bald Bryan are now riffing as the guy who tries to sleep with his girl and his buddy, Robert has a funny reply and now they’re joking about other animals in the bedroom, including a funny bird riff.

 

4th Story is on the Lamborghini donated the LAPD, Adam has a hilarious series of replies including one about not shooting civilians, Alison raises some fine points about the meeting of this car and other PR moves like this.

 

5th Story is on President Barack Obama appearing in “Between Two Ferns” and Adam has a funny comic con/X-Men movie riff comparing the obligation of a comic book movie star to that of the president appearing on pop-culture things like this.

Alison is now wrapping up the news.

Robert had a nice reaction to Alison’s closing line, BB makes note of it Alison has a cute explanation.

 

Adam is doing a live read.

Adam is giving out the plugs and wrapping up with Robert Wagner.

The show’s closing to a drop of Adam begging for someone to Lance his anal fissure.

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