Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 03/19/2014 – David Wild

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest David Wild

Recorded 03-18-2014 – Release Date 03-19-2014

Production Number #1284

Show Page

Adam is opening the show with David wild in studio, Adam has a great one-liner joking about the longevity of his TV show analysis marriage.

BB has a great top drop, Adam is now mocking said drop.

Adam is sharing a new idea, he’s riffing about boxers versus boxer briefs and how the boxers fly is akin to a cut open pita, with your falafel always ready to emerge.


Adam explains he was sent a case of boxer briefs which generate this idea, Adam has a great analogy about a finger down your throat and the feeling of your penis emerging from your underwear.

Adam is telling him about his nanny Olga going through the box and how he would reject any sizes above 32 to 36, BB and him are riffing about deadliest catch.

Adam is saying how he brought the larger sizes to the studio thinking ahead the some of the larger gents might appreciate some free underwear, he’s explained Alison how pricey boxer briefs can be.


Adam calls himself a perpetual 35 and is really going off on waste sizes, he’s now sharing the idea, and the underwear model needs to be size of the guy rocking that jock, followed up with a self-satisfied sniff.

Adam says his eyes are getting week but is guessing the text is less than a 1/8th of an inch, displaying what size the underwear is, hilarious comedy about the usefulness of Laxamana, all Asians.

Adam has a great point about shaming you into shape for the next shopping trip, Alison has another positive about all of the modeling jobs that it would result in.


Adam says put the dude who is the right size on the box/bag, BB is now telling them about recording his audiobook and the many typos in his final copy of the book.

Adam is so pleased to welcome BB to his world, BB is ranting and Adam is now going off over him, this is great.

Adam is telling them about the “lesbian aptitude test” from “The Adam and Drew Book” and the lumber/lumbar rack mix up that they pulled that ruined the joke, Adam is delighting in people fucking everything up as a profession.


Adam’s next book “What do you really do!?” and David telling them about the errors in his book, his wife does his proofreading and BB says this is the final copy, it’s coming out flawed.

BB says it really makes him feel how little weight he has with the company.

Adam is telling the gang about Kevin Costner’s new moving coming out soon, Adam was invited to the friends and family showing, he is using this as an example of how he’s trained Matt Fondiler.


Adam is sharing the mix-up of the Kevin Costner phone call, Alison dubs it the “Star fucker factor” and Adam runs with it, Adam says that everybody’s first response is to defend against what you’re saying.

They’re debuting a new Richard Banks song dedicated to A-Rose, BB has a nice intro and they have some funny Cee-lo comedy.

They’re now playing the new song about Alison’s dog’s penis.


Adam is now giving his take on actual Peter Gabriel song, and he says he never needs to hear it again.

Adam is now doing a live read for bark box.com.


Alison is telling them about her ovulation detection kit, she’s explaining that she has to pee on a stick which echoes the classic Dr. drew Loveline drops.

Alison is joking about her urine stream and Adam Carolla is joking about it being akin to “Broken Arrow” and now Bryan is riffing with him about the trailer for the movie, this is hilarious.

Adam wants to know why you can’t just dip the stick into the toilet and Alison agrees, Adam is telling Alison to skip ahead and go to the fertility doctor right now.


David Wild is telling him about his own success having children, much like Denzel Washington in training them he says he’ll give you a son.

Adam says fuck acupuncture with a fist covered in molasses and rolled in hot glass like the opening of “Kung Fu” and Adam is joking about his invention spunk shui.

Adam is now telling them about a fan who tweeted him about their own spunk shui practices, Adam says the guy advised always keep the hand lotion and tissues at least 10 feet apart and triangulated away from the computer.


Adam is joking with Alison about alternative medicine solutions for fertility issues, Adam says when the beginning and the middle doesn’t quite work jump right to the end and save tons of money and the type of sex Daniel doesn’t necessarily want.

David Wild is sharing the story of his “Tango Baby” and Julio Iglesias also had a baby nine months later.

Adam is now asking Gary if he has the review of “Catch a Contractor” Adam wants to make a point about the critic and the nature of the review peppered with barbs and rude comments, Adam says you’re allowed to have your opinions politically but when you write a review for living you have to be unbiased much like a referee.


Adam is continuing to rant, he wants to know why you can’t appear on Fox news and not be considered a clown and he’s now setting up clip of the last appearance on O’Reilly.

They’re now playing the clip, Adam is joking about Bill appearing on Jimmy Kimmel and the photograph of them at the Lakers game with a chair between them.

David is saying he knows Brian wrote the review but also makes sure to say he doesn’t agree with Adam politically but still likes him as a person.


Adam wants to know what politics have to do with the show about home improvement, Alison wants to know what the critic means by “Lower Rent” and now David is confirming the intent that Adam assumes.

David has a point about envy among critics and how it affects their reviews.

Adam is a great analogy about Woody Allen movies and a hilarious “Daughter Fucker” one-liner, David says that while he likes this guy Brian is in the wrong on this one and the show is good as well.

Alison says the days of being considerate and thoughtful are winding down.


Adam is now doing a live read for draft Kings.com.


Q and Ace

1st Caller Richard, he wants to know about getting started in standup comedy, Adam is now giving him very practical vice, about logging hours and stage time.

Adam is now asking Richard foretaste of his comic stylings, Adam is being supportive and Alison is nice, as well.

BB is joking about Richards “Tight Two” and now Adam has a hilarious “Eat out a Bitch” one-liner, Adam is telling Richard to write everything down and Adam is getting Richard to overcome his excuses.

Adam says he starts working hard at this, even can get up at the comedy works and that explains that’s the comedy club where Mike August stole all the toilet paper from the comedy condo.


Richard says he was there that night, Adam wants to know which night and Richard said he had a great time.

Adam is ranting about life and how all were all getting time we’re also losing time by trying to cut corners instead of putting in the hard work and mastering skill over time.

Adam is going to break.


They are now returning from break With David Wild, David says the Rick Springfield will be coming on the show soon.


2nd Caller Matt, he’s fresh from traffic court and was criticized for his attitude, Matt was found guilty because of his attitude and we asked the judge of that was affecting his judgment he admitted his own hypocrisy.

Adam is ranting about the lack of a third-party and as a point about how an intermediate with no dog in the fight is always the best one to judge, BB has a great point saying it’s like if the other team was allowed to referee the game.

Adam and BB are riffing a funny little scenario on the field, how hilarious cop talk from Adam as the opposing team now refereeing the game.


Adam is now joking about kickers in the NFL and their bizarre walking rituals including the backwards L-shaped Adam says they need to spare us all that nonsense.

BB says pay the ticket and instead donate the hundred dollars to Adam’s fund anything campaign, Matt offers to record the court proceedings and Adam tells him it’s probably illegal and not a smart move.


3rd Caller Mike wants to know if Adam has the tips for getting over the traffic blues, Adam says he’s in a unique situation with eight different projects and not enough time to focus on any of them.

Adam is telling Mike about his buck slips and how he uses them to remind himself of all kinds of daily activities.

Alison is having Adam clarify if he carries a pad and pen with him at all times, Adam says he feels naked without them much like when you leave the house without your phone.


David is telling Mike to use the voice memo feature on his phone Adam is hesitant and is now asking Mike about his manual transmission vehicle.

David has a kind word about the podcast and how its running time is perfect for Mike’s dilemma.


Alison’s News

Her Top Story is an article from NPR about how to instill grit in children, after David inspires some hilarious Mrs. Cunt comedy and Adam turns it into a fake syrup brand.

Alison is now reading the details of the story and how grit is the new buzzword in education, once again Adam Carolla is 10 years is ahead of the curve.

Adam is now making a point about aviation and the turn-of-the-century in comparison to 50 years later with fighter jets, is clarifying this point about how far some things have come in such little time.


Adam is now using Indy racing and technology to further his analogy while asking what it is about this we don’t understand when it comes to the brain, motivation and education.

Adam has a point about Jimmy Kimmel and grit, Alice is now giving her take on what grit means to her and how it actually can be a high and low self-esteem message.

Adam is making a point about desperation and tenacity, he says the best gift is one to do one thing you take that experience and apply the skills you learned to all the newly opened worlds you’ve earned access to, and Bryan is using his book writing experience to make point.


Adam is now making a point about plugging away on a book and has a great callback to bald Bryan’s earlier comments.

David is now trying to say Adam accomplished all he did based on confidence, Adam is immediately interrupting with a series of no’s, David is finishing his point about his father as he was attempting to draw a parallel between him and Adam Carolla.

David says he came from insecurity entirely, Adam is sharing his own lack of a comfort level and how that motivated him.


Adam is now making another analogy about discomfort, action and movement using a hot parking lot and sunshine to make his point.

Adam is joking about Mark and Brian from the FM station and their hackneyed style as a form of counter inspiration.

Adam is making a point about treadmills and simulating activity, fears through 3-D movies and Alison’s point about simulating starvation through dieting.


David is sharing his simulated tough love when it comes to saving energy and getting his kids to shut off lights after one of his previous appearances.

Adam just referenced “Tough Mudder” and he’s telling them about Natalia and her glee in stealing his beanies and throwing them in hard-to-reach areas.

He’s explaining that Sonny is the opposite and tries to protect his dad and said beanies, Adam says Natalia just throws him down and he’s going in depth on a recent incident.


Adam says he dove to catch Natalia, she slid underneath and bump her head, Adam says he saw the moment where she got to decide whether she would manipulate the situation or remain stoic as she caused all this.

Adam says he rubbed her head and told her she was fine, Lynette then arrived and made the “Triple Mommy Face” and now Adam is doing impression of her exaggerated mom noises.

He’s making a point about actions and reactions and how as soon as Natalia saw the face she immediately started crying.


Adam says we’re going to have to build a great simulator, he says you have no idea the potential inside every person and how he’s been both lazy and an over achiever in his life and still fluctuates between both ways of being.

Adam is bringing up delayed gratification and citing his experience playing football in high school, how he went from riding the bench to the starting line.

And as explaining his coaches’ advice about being a starter on the B team and how we did the exact opposite to make the starting line of varsity.


Adam is now doing a live read for personal capital.com.


2nd Story is about the suicide of Mick Jagger’s longtime girlfriend Lauren Scott, Alison has the grisly details and Adam has a nice freedom doors mention.

Alison is asking David his take on the matter as someone who knows Mick, Adam is joking about the rockstar/dog years of the relationship and how sad it is.

Adam is making a point about suicide and his historical relationship to youth, he sharing his theory about men being better suicide which was actually confirmed by Dr. drew with actual statistics.


Adam is now sharing his idea about the role hormones play in a woman’s suicide, he wants to see the statistics about the average age in comparison to the one for men.

Adam is actually making a point that’s very sensitive to women and the pressures upon them from society becomes the aging and what a double standard is between the genders.

David is sharing his take after witnessing some drama on twitter about the terms used to define Ms. Scott.

Alison is now wrapping up the news.


Adam is doing a live read for LifeLock.com with Alison.

Adam is now giving out the plugs including one for podcast one the home Of Classic Loveline.

Adam is now wrapping up the show to a great new classic drop re-eating out a bitch.