Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 03/11/2014 – Greg Fitzsimmons and Dr. Drew, Live at the Hollywood Improv

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Greg Fitzsimmons and Dr. Drew, Live at the Hollywood Improv

Recorded 03-08-2014 – Release Date 03-11-2014

Production Number #1278

Show Page

Adam is opening the 2nd show with Drew back again and Greg Fitzsimmons joining them live from stage, Adam is now getting to the audio feedback and he’s asking Dawson to figure it out.

Adam is thanking the fans for supporting the Patent Troll fight and he’s asking Greg about his early AM trip to Tijuana, he’s telling them about bringing good and toys to an orphanage for his son’s school.

Adam says that a “bus ride to Tijuana” is like “hell in a hand basket” and he’s asking them how long it took for them to make it there and back.

 

Adam is now asking if people are also pissed about guys putting their mountain bikes on the bus, he doesn’t like the person who uses two shitty forms of transportation.

Adam and Greg are joking about canoes on top of cars, Adam is killing it.

Adam says the biggest jack off is the guy who has the mountain bike racks to display his bikes, not just putting them in the bed.

 

Drew is now setting up some of Adam’s legendary TJ stories, he’s telling them about his times on Revolution street and a woman as wide as she was tall came by rubbing on his friend, they left to somewhere private.

Adam is telling them about the drink prices and how they would smuggle rum into the strip club, freshening up their own drinks as needed.

Adam is telling them about getting caught pouring their own booze and being chased out while their buddy was upstairs getting laid.

 

Adam is explaining how his buddy got gouged by the room fee and oral fee when he changed his mind mid coitus, Adam has a great analogy about pizza toppings and paying full price for half the toppings.

Greg is telling them about the experience in depth after they all get done joking about it and the pizza topic, Adam is quizzing Greg if he had any impulse purchases while over the border, joking about the Prussian helmets and junk sold at the border that nobody could ever use.

“Just more Mexicans” – Adam in reply to Greg mocking the sales of mini statues of Liberty, asking for something more regionally appropriate and what you see upon crossing the border back to the states, nice reaction from Greg.

 

Greg is complimenting Adam on the “4 min” it took for a good Mexican joke, Greg is now sharing the types of parents from his kid’s school and Drew is now in the mix joking about the amount of time parents are expected to invest into the school.

Adam is now ranting about the cost of school supplies, he’s asking how it can cost so much.

Greg is now calling Adam cheap and judging him for not sending his kids to private school, Adam is joking about why he chose to keep them in public school and Greg says he has his kids in public school too but doesn’t have as much money as Adam, wow!

 

Adam says he doesn’t want his kids to grow up in a zero gravity environment, he wants them to get the same type of experience kids got throughout the last 5 decades.

Adam is now telling them about donating his time to coach his son’s basketball team, Adam is now joking about the Hollywood YMCA and how it’s the place to go to watch hobo’s on elliptical machines.

Adam is now joking about the insane workout person, the person decked out in gear but not in shape, Adam says that everyone wearing ankle weights he hopes gets pushed into a pool, great Davey Jones locker comedy with Drew.

 

Adam uses “gunt” and Drew responds inquisitively but they move on, they’re all now getting to the constant joggers.

Adam is now citing the old man nipple he used to have to stare at from this shirtless old man who used to run up and down his block, Adam asks how confining a T- shirt can be.

Adam is sharing how someone screwed up the month on the sign in chart and everyone before him mistakenly copied it, Adam is making a point about this, even though it’s boring as shit, it’s interesting as fuck!

 

Greg is now having Adam tell the same old coaching/name story instead of this new story he was on, Drew is now adding to this riff nicely.

Adam is joking about his show at The Wiltern with Jay Mohr that night and how he didn’t want to use anything insulting when referring to the kids.

Adam is sharing the moment with the proud woman of color, the half breed comment.

 

Adam is now mocking all of the do-gooders out there should just kill themselves, he’s making a point about the people who forwarded this woman the podcast.

Adam is now citing the Cher song “Half breed” and how she was telling him to “listen” and explaining her sense of humor, Adam is joking about that stance and how someone tries to apologize in advance for the contradictory behavior they’re about to display.

Adam is saying how that was mission accomplished and made him no longer want to coach the kids and ended up moving.

 

They’re now joking about the L.A marathon and Adam is ranting about it, Greg reminded him of it backstage, Drew has a couple great one liners and Adam is now saying that the marathon can only last triple the length of the fastest Kenyan.

Adam is now showing the list of the sign in sheet, you can see the photo via the show page link above.

They’re now mocking the names and the lemming like date usage on the form.

 

Blah Blah Blog

1st Blog

Diana Nyad Chris Kluwe or David Beckham

Adam is now sharing his fantasy about having Diana meet all of the families of the people who died swimming between the United States and Cuba.

Adam is now asking why they would put the Minnesota Vikings Player on the list.

“Is she turning into an orange hat rack with a titty job?” – Adam on Posh Spice

 

2nd Blog

Mike Rowe, January Jones or Mike Love

Adam is now going off on Mike Love and his Beach Boys hat and his own hatred for the shark finning practice.

“They hate electricity but they love animals” – Adam on women

3rd Blog

Harry Belafonte, Russell Simmons or Idris Elba

Adam is now joking about the school to prison pipeline and Huffpo’s argument with him.

Adam is now riffing about vacuum tubes and how he’s going to use an abandoned bank to teach his kids a lesson about having fun with tubes.

Adam says if he was a woman that “Harry Belafonte” would be the nickname for his lady junk, Adam is now suggesting it to Gina who reveals she is freshly waxed.

 

4th Blog

Richard Branson, Paul Schaefer or Rachel Ray

 

5th Blog

John C. McGinley, Kevin Bacon or Ben Folds.

John I believe has a downs child, yep it was him!

They’re now wrapping up the segment and going to break.

 

They’re back from break

 

 

News

Her top story is on the eye irritation that Bob Costas was sporting during the Olympics newscast, Gina has a report that it was a bad Botox job.

Drew is interrupting to say you could see what he had and now they’re joking about hair plugs, semen and STD’s that cause eye irritation.

Adam is now joking about Costas, saying he’s one of these people that doesn’t age forever and then just get old rapidly or drop dead, the Davey Jones and Dick Clark syndrome.

 

They’re all joking about the idea of taking a load in the eye.

 

2nd Story is a round of “Germany or Florida” and Adam can’t remember the name, Drew is thankfully correcting him.

Gina is telling them about a man facing charges after stabbing his dog, she used identifying American terms so it’s not a mystery.

They’re now joking about Florida getting worse and Adam says that’s why he invented the game, Adam wants to know what’s going on, Drew is explaining their observations upon visiting the state during their loveline tours.

 

“Any place where people fish over bridges you drive over, that’s a bad sign” – Adam on the people fishing on the side of roads and what it means about places like Florida and Hawaii.

Adam is on a killer riff about the Jews lack of fish game, how not one Jew in the annals of their history has ever fished off a bridge.

“Nobody consumes more fish and catches less than a Jew” – Adam, with a great reaction from Gina.

 

3rd story is on Shakira being told she can no longer do videos with other men for her music, Gina’s reading the quotes and Adam is asking Drew his take.

Drew calls it barbaric and he’s citing something he heard on Stern about dating a female actress.

Adam is now making a point about the locker room shit talking this guy doesn’t want and the notion of locker rooms for soccer players, what do they need a locker room for?

 

Adam has a great “Made in Canoga Park” one liner in reply to Gina who is telling them about a married porn star couple she knows, Greg compliments Adam’s comedy and he has a great “tell me when I’m not funny, ok Greg”.

Adam is now mocking the angry pornstars of modern day and has a nice “that was funny” in reply to Greg’s solid one liner, nice double call back and actual compliment.

Adam and Drew are commenting on the constant refractory period all guys are in after beating off to so much pornography with such ease, preventing them from having the motivation to enter into a relationship.

 

Adam is now joking about people in films vs. film stars with a great “Jim J. Bullock” reference, BB shits up the point.

 

4th Story is on beard transplants for men, she’s telling them about the reasoning for these procedures.

Adam is asking what is going on with women, why do they like the bearded look and Gina says it’s hot, Drew is shocked.

Adam is telling them about the weird black thing on his lip, now leaving him with the sign of the beast after his last beard growth, Adam wants to know if it’s a tray black hair and he’s coming back to a younger person.

 

Adam wants to know why beards don’t match the rest of someone’s hair color, Drew warns Adam of the coming gray pubes and Adam is telling Gina about his black man beard that gets ingrown.

 

5th Story is on Mississippi being ranked the most obese state in the nation once again since 2008.

Adam and Drew are now commenting on the size of these people, they’re using their Disneyland as a reference point and mixing up “1780’s Guy”.

Drew is bringing up food insecurity and Adam is mocking the notion, even Fitzsimmons is laughing.

Gina is asking them for guesses about the least obese state, Adam picks Maine.

 

Gina is telling them the answer is Montana and she’s reading a quote from a man in Mississippi, Adam wants to know if cholesterol drugs and other medications that allow people to survive despite increased bad eating habits and exercise.

Drew is explaining his terrible genetics and how pharmaceutical interventions will prolong his life, Greg is now making a point about death and saying that if everyone fat died in Mississippi then it would be a thinner populace.

 

6th Story is on a surgeon who claims to have invented a machine that allows women to have remote control orgasms, Drew explains this has been around for years.

He actually talked about it on Classic Loveline.

Adam is joking about orgasm being classified as a negative side effect and Drew is telling them the info about these spinal implants.

 

Adam has a great garage door joke, Gina is now in the mix and they’re all joking about remote controls.

Adam is now citing the Classic Loveline with Larry Flynt from 02/22/1999.

Adam is telling them about Larry’s penis implant and Gina is joking about “stuffing” flaccid penises into vaginas mid coitus.

Greg says he would love to see Hugh Heffner fuck Larry Flynt and Adam says something must be wrong with Hugh because he hasn’t been seen in public.

 

7th Story is on Kesha removing the $ sign from her name and Adam is joking about her eating drugs and becoming a “bridge fisherman” by embracing urban culture and attitude.

Adam is now doing a live read.

Adam is telling them about Sonny’s report back from his track meet and how the video evidence Lynette provided didn’t display what Sonny said he achieved, Adam wants to know if he should call him on this and Drew is giving a thoughtful reply.

 

8th Story is on the upcoming Mars Colony recruitment and Adam is joking about his being one of these scams, he’s not referencing his Raiders/cockfight idea but he’s implying it.

Gina is now citing the men’s responses about settling Mars and their willingness to never return to earth, Adam is arguing that it would be like Australia.

Some Penal colony, these people would fuck up Mars.

 

Adam is now joking about Australia and how they can get away with murder with us, BB is in the mix and they’re joking about them calling us cunts with a smile and Americans enjoying it in turn.

They’re now discussing the Matthew McConaughey Academy Award speech and Adam is mocking “Surfer Dude” and the time traveling science that dictates Matthew would have killed himself had he met 2007 him in 1997.

Adam is now joking about your future older shittier self being your hero, nice grey pubes callback.

 

Adam is now connecting this to obese Mississippi, he’s going into a live read and giving out the plugs and wrapping up the show.

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